Why are people so ignorant about registries???

[Mrs5707]

I don't understand it. It is clear-cut instructions as to what we need/want and people still can't seem to grasp the concept. Why do people go out of their way to buy you a bunch of useless crap that you don't want or need and totally ignore the fact that you have an itemized registry that you spent hours compiling as to make it seemless to use for everyone?!?!?!
You can easily go online and view the registry, see what's available in-store or online only, (not sure why you woudn't just buy online as shipping is free...) and people call me EVERY freaking day asking me questions about it... I"m like, did you not even look at it??? I seriously spent HOURS editing, adding, and deleting items from our registry to make sure that it made the most sense and the stuff I really needed was asked for. Yet people still ask.

 

[aliss]

I don't get it either, why wouldn't you get something that you KNOW they want or need?? If you can't figure out the computer, call the store!

 

[Tink_0123]

I completely understand where you're coming from. Similar thing happened to me just a couple of days ago. I have some aunts, they're my moms aunts and are a bit older. Well they call to ask for the 5th time where Im registered, so after I tell them and tell them where its at. She asks me what Im missing and so forth. She goes on to say that shes not familiar with the area and shes going to go to another baby store that shes more familiar with to get me something. I then tell her, so that she doesn't have to go out and drive to the store to send us a check or wire the money that she intended to spend on the gift. The bank is 3 blocks from her house, and she says "don't worry Ill just go to the store and get u something".. So all in all shes going to go to the store she wants, where I have no registry, nor do I want any of their items as they're very limited and much more expensive than where I have my registry. So shes gonna get me what she wants and probably the cheapest thing she can find..

Sorry I made this long...But I absolutely understand how u feel, people just dont understand that uve spent do much doing the registry for them to get u something u absolutely dont need..

 

[PGLady]

No baby showers or registries here in the UK, so really we get what we're given. It's nice that people care enough to give gifts, but it makes it harder to say 'please no more soft toys, they don't do anything so babies don't like them and btw I hate Disney'!

 

[Murphy98]

Well I have to admit that I have never bought something off a registry or put one together. I generally like having the freedom to pick out something special myself BUT I don't get calling you to ask what to buy if you have a registry set up.

 

[sethsmummy]

im probably going to get it for saying this ... BUT why not be grateful that they have bought you something whether its on your registry or not???

some people like to pick you a gift.. they shouldn't be told what they have to get you off a prescribed list of things. Maybe they cant afford to get you the things you want?

I'm in the uk and like pp said we dont have showers or registry over here (or if we do its not very common) .. and im grateful for ANYTHING if people feel they want to buy me a gift. So what if its something i already have.. or something I see as being stupid... they obviously thought it would be nice for you and took some time picking it out themselves. Don't be so petty, if you dont like something you can always take it back or pass it on

 

[mtmnleg]

No baby showers or registries here in the UK, so really we get what we're given. It's nice that people care enough to give gifts, but it makes it harder to say 'please no more soft toys, they don't do anything so babies don't like them and btw I hate Disney'!

Lol I got criticized by my mil because I hate Disney too!!!!! She was gonna get me a high chair and I said no thank you because it's Disney and she gt mad.. I wouldn't have wanted her to spend the money on something I wouldn't use! I got absolutely nothing off my registry either.. I had a million clothes and I got a ton more from everyone.. So I guess they will be donated!

 

[shambaby]

Honestly I don't get the registry thing - if someone wants to buy the baby a gift I'd rather they put some thought into it and got something meaningful to both them and us. When I was pregnant with Hayden my work colleagues did a collection for me when I was leaving for mat leave and I felt really uncomfortable asking for something. I asked for a baby gym, which they got, plus some other things they chose and they meant much more to me. I say just be grateful for whatever people get and be grateful they took the time and effort to pick something out for you. X

 

[PepsiChic]

The reason for a registery is so that people dont

a. buy multiple of the same items
b. waste their money and time picking something out the mother wont use.
c. can find something in their price range to buy that will be useful for mother/baby

yes you can be grateful someone bought you something at all....but if its the 100th reciving blanket and its in pink and your having a boy...then that person has just wasted both their time and money buying something that will likely never be used, and thats hardly fair on that persons pocket.

ETA: plus a registery isnt full of all large expensive items...you can put anything on it, from a packet of wipes, baby bottles, a pacifer, a onesie, to big items like a swing, stroller or crib. then after the baby shower, whatever isnt bought your left to buy. that way no-one feels like they HAVE to spend a lot of money as they have a choice of things that are needed. A lot of the time if family are at the baby shower they'll all chip in for one of the big items rather then buy lots of the small items and so forth.

my MIL did a baby shower for my son, my registery constisted of, rattles, bathtoy, teethers, wipes, bibs and diapers! I didnt expect nor want anyone to purchase any large or expensive items.

 

[patooti]

Personally, I find registries crass. Could just be happy people thought about you and bought you stuff. Showers aren't a shopping trip, they are a time to share a joyous event with friends and family. Honestly I don't get it and then to be angry that people didn't get what you wanted, I just find sort of ungrateful.

It's just my opinion, I don't mean it directly applied to you, since I don't know you at all. Just a culture thing maybe, but really, when I see a registry I don't even want to go. I had a small shower and I would have been happy if people brought me nothing. Sure some of the stuff isn't stuff I would buy for myself (I got some packets of wipes and highly scented baby bath stuff and I won't be using this stuff) but I can donate it to a women's centre and many people got me really really thoughtful gifts. I was very touched.

 

[Snow Owl]

We don't do registries in the UK but I will admit I'm currently finding a way to say 'no more snow suits please we have 5.... lol'

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Personally I understand them and find registries plain rude.
People love buying for babies, and picking out stuff, not just checking a box the proceed to checkout.

And as for the poster who said if you can't buy what I want "send me a cheque or wire me some money", did u not think your aunt wanted to pick the baby out something with love, not just feel she's funding your having a child

I did have a few people ask what I still needed, but even those that didn't I was grateful for the thought they put into my gifts and would never get angry bout them not buying a specific item!

 

[MummyMana]

I find the idea of telling people to buy me stuff quite unsettling tbh :/

 

[ticking.clock]

I find it all rather impersonal, and I'd be one of those who would buy what I wanted and not what was on some list.

A gift is a gift, be thankful they bought you something in the first place
Sooooooooooo glad we don't do this in the UK
I have asked family and friends that if they would like to buy something, and it's clothing to get 0-3 months and not newborn as she is so big already and wouldn't want it going unworn

 

[hopingforit]

I personally think that if you have a registry, it should be more of a guide to what types of things you like and not "buy me this or buy me nothing at all". I understand that those are things you need and will use so that's great for the people who don't want to look for a gift (much like buying a gift card) but there are people out there who like to take the time to look around and pick something out. I didn't even get to have a baby shower because I was put on bedrest and my family is 500 miles away but I guarantee that I would have been grateful for anything I got and will be when I end up having a little party welcoming the babies after we can travel there. It's the thought that counts.

 

[daisymay11]

I do appreciate everything that people got me, but before my baby shower I bought a lot of items when we found them on sale and a TON of people told me I shouldn't be buying the stuff because people would want to buy it for me. I ignored it and bought a lot of what I wanted but I did save a lot of smaller essentials for my registry (soothers, towels, face clothes etc) for people to buy as well as a few larger items . When my shower came around very few people bought stuff off the registry and bought what they wanted which was newborn sized clothing. Some people have mentioned that people buy things as a meaningful gift but I got a lot of stuff with dogs on it and if you knew me, you would know that I hate dogs (no offence to dog lovers). So people do not buy what they think you would want but what they like and as a results I have hundreds of dollars of clothes that he will never wear and therefore people have wasted their money! I am just happy I ignored people who said to wait to buy stuff because I would have went into major panic mode when I didn't get anything I needed!

I agree with hopingforit. I think the registry should be a guide. If you saw what I registered for and wanted to buy something on your own you could stick to what was needed but not feel like you had to stick to the exact design or theme!

 

[aliss]

It's not really crass or rude, it's just a tradition here. I understand this doesn't really translate across the pond, sort of like Halloween too, but there is nothing greedy about a first time mom expecting gifts at her baby shower. It's like showing up to a wedding without a gift for the bride and groom - it's not rude, it's just tradition.

 

[Tankmom23]

Its funny to see the differences in opinion. In the US its a little different as far as manners go. I think its a cultural thing.
I felt the exact same way about my baby shower. I made a registry and got one thing off of it. I was grateful that people spent the time and money.. but i couldn't really use most of the stuff they got me. I just brought it all back and got things i needed. With baby showers most of the people coming dont want to spend the time or energy to get "meaningful" things. They just want to bring gift and be a part of the festivities. But then most of the time they just get something they like, with no regard for the mom. Like she said, you can only use so many receiving blankets and cute onsies!

 

[TwilightAgain]

Wow there is a way of going about things but you're just being plain rude.

If you were my 'friend' you wouldn't get a second thought from me with that attitude never mind a gift. Be grateful they're even making an effort.

Also can I just add that yes I am from the uk and its not really the done thing over here. I understand the fun of a shower - games and a celebration. I also understand its tradition in America to buy people gifts. But I do think the attitude of the OP came across very childish and bratty by referring to their gifts as 'crap'. It seems there is more emphasis on 'giving presents to me me me' than actually celebrating the impending birth of your child - isn't that the joy of a baby shower?

 

[twobecome3]

i live in canada and i dont get it either, but i also didnt have one for my wedding. when i go to other ppls showers and weddings i dont buy from the registry, but i might look at it to have a little laugh! i do think its crass whether some ppl hold it as 'tradition' or not. tbh not alot of ppl that i know use them anymore and the ppl that do ask for the most expensive items, ridiculous. then its a complete turnoff for ppl to even want to show up

that being said i also dont get why ppl keep pestering you, OP, when you have it all set up, other than ppl are stupid