Would you girls ...

[maz]

... go to a fertility clinic with your other half, child of approx 2, and pregnant best friend??

I definitely wouldn't ... if we're lucky enough to have one child and decide we want more, I wouldn't take my child to a clinic for couples struggling to conceive... it would be very tactless and inconsiderate of me to do that. Or am I missing something???

 

[Kelly9]

Well I don't know I wouldn't bring pregnant best friend but if it is a family thing and the child is old enough to understand I would bring my child... I wouldn't bring a baby or toddler but what if you have no choice? Like no sitter etc. Shit happens unfortunately.

 

[tansey]

If I had my DH with me my pg friend would not be there! My child would only be there if i had no other option!
I see what you're saying hun - just their presence can be very upsetting in such a place!

Different scenario but I know how you must have felt>
when I had a scan after my MC I had to wait while she scanned a 35week lady who had her Mum and Gran with her. They were all smiles at me in the waiting room and I was by myself. I could hear all their oohs and ahhhs and tears of joy and she came out with loads of pics. I was crying my eyes out waiting to go in!

 

[maz]

I know what you both mean about the childminding scenario, and I can understand that - I thought that much when I was in the waiting room. I think the pregnant friend was the insensitive thing for me. Added to the fact that to get to the Fertility Clinic you have to walk through the waiting room for the scanning clinics with bumps everywhere .... great planning on the hospital's behalf ... not!!

 

[Steph63]

I was at the RFC a couple of weeks ago and a couple in the waiting room had their baby with them - about 9/10 months old. Mr waited in the waiting room with the baby while Mrs went in and I really thought, could he not have waited elsewhere for her? Different if he wanted to go in with her and they had no childcare, but if he was just waiting there is the other waiting area at the main doors. Surely someone who has been in our situation should be a bit more sensitive?

It really quite upset me but I thought I was just been overly sensitive as I was having a bad day anyway until another lady walked in and openly stated to her husband "that's a bit inappropriate isn't it?". DF was horrified when I told him too.

 

[Nathyrra]

I get it all the time in my fertility hospital too. I must have a pregnant person homing beacon embedding in my skull or something because they're always around no matter where I am.

I do think these places should be planned a bit better. They could have a little kiddie play area away from the main waiting room or something. Practice some discretion. It's a delicate thing, this infertility. It's already stressful enough even being at the hospital let alone the added heartache.

I feel the same as you about it. x

 

[Lyns]

At my local hospital, if your trying (and failing), losing or pregnant.....it's all the same waiting room. Everytime I go for a FS appt, there are a gazillion pregnant women sat there looking smug.

My friend, who went in the postmortem results for her 24 weeks angel, had to sit in the central delivery waiting room, and watch all the families celebrate at news of newborns. Poor thing.....that was harder for her than anything I think.

 

[Clueless]

It happened in my hospital too. A 'Shameless' mom was in the waiting room with her mate while I was waiting to have my much wanted pregnancy/MMC to be removed from me. Suppose it's life.

PS to those non UK readers...I am not a bitch, google Shameless Channel 4 and you'll get it.

 

[JASMAK]

I have two children (4 & 6) and a fertility appointment coming up. DH and I agreed, that if we don't have childcare, I will go alone so that we don't bring the kids. I agree that it is very tactless and inconsiderate. I know that I wouldn't want to see someone's baby there, as I find looking at baby's to be painful. A pregnant lady...well, I guess if she is a patient, but if she has come along for support...rather poor choice in my opinion.

 

[NeyNey]

I can imagine how that made you feel hun..

 

[honeycat]

It always pissed me off when I had to go to the RE and see someone with a baby or toddler, especially when her partner is there. Is it that hard to have your partner take the child out while you wait? The day I found out our first baby had died I had to go out into the waiting room and see a women with a 10-12 month old. I had to look at the floor because I couldn't stand seeing them. Then when I had to go back to the clinic continuously to monitor my beta to drop a women comes in with her husband and 2-4 year old child and of course they sat beside me. I wasn't in a great mood that day (how could I be I was pissed of going to the RE for 4 months total - going through the whole process and then watching the whole process leave me). All I thought was I have just wasted the last 4 months and I am still here and struck while all these other women are happy because they are moving on and cycling.

I can understand there being babies at a obgyn, but people really shouldn't take babies to a RE and the only pregnant women there should be newly pregnant women - after the 1st trimester you are discharged so someone who is showing no shouldn't be at a RE.

 

[maz]

Thanks for your replies ladies ... I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought it a little tactless. I'm with you Jasmak - if me and DH are ever lucky enough to have one child and then we decide to try again for another, we won't be taking our child with us to the clinic. If we don't have someone to look after him/her on the day, then I'll go by myself.