would you serve alcohol to a pregnant woman?

[Lightworker]

Hmm, to be honest, the welfare of children, unborn or otherwise, is everyones business. If a mom asked me for a belt with which to whip her child, I can't say "well she's the one whipping, all I did was give her the belt." With drinking, the person serving the drink is morally culpable for any damage done to the child. Thats just my opinion. X

 

[Blah11]

Hmm, to be honest, the welfare of children, unborn or otherwise, is everyones business. If a mom asked me for a belt with which to whip her child, I can't say "well she's the one whipping, all I did was give her the belt." With drinking, the person serving the drink is morally culpable for any damage done to the child. Thats just my opinion. X

not really the same though. child abuse is illegal.

 

[Lightworker]

It may not be the same within the context of the existing laws but it is the same in terms of morals. We had this debate a while ago about unborn babies and their rights( or the lack thereof) etc.

 

[Floralaura]

I would serve them, especially if I worked in a shop. If it were a obviously pregnant Woman who was drunk then no, I wouldn't.
If it were a Woman buying a bottle of vodka 1) she may just be overweight and not actually pregnant 2) The huge likely hood is that its not for her or that shes not going to go home and sup the entire bottle.
If I were pregnant/mistake for being pregnant and was refused alcohol in a shop then I would be doing a lot of complaining afterwards!
I think in pub is slightly different..tho who am I to tell someone they cant have a drink with their meal, on a night out etc..again, if visibly pissed though then no I wouldn't then.
For the record I dont drink at all either.

 

[elephant29]

Drinking whilst pregnant is irresponsible and dangerous. We all agree on that. However as much as we would like to protect every child from danger, we cannot tell an adult what to do. Morally we may disagree with it, but if we work in a pub our job is to serve alcohol not judge. I would maybe feel strange and think I would call time if she was drunk (as with any other drunk customer) but who am I to tell her not to?

xxx

 

[tallybee]

Drinking whilst pregnant is irresponsible and dangerous. We all agree on that. However as much as we would like to protect every child from danger, we cannot tell an adult what to do. Morally we may disagree with it, but if we work in a pub our job is to serve alcohol not judge. I would maybe feel strange and think I would call time if she was drunk (as with any other drunk customer) but who am I to tell her not to?

xxx

I do not agree with that. Drinking to excess is irresponsible and dangerous for anyone irrespective of their 'condition'. Whilst pregnant, 'excess' is clearly far less than any other time...to me, while pregnant 1 small glass of wine, once in a while is not excess. Most non-pregnant people would say that somewhat more than that would could consumed before it constitutes 'excess' drinking.

 

[elephant29]

Drinking whilst pregnant is irresponsible and dangerous. We all agree on that. However as much as we would like to protect every child from danger, we cannot tell an adult what to do. Morally we may disagree with it, but if we work in a pub our job is to serve alcohol not judge. I would maybe feel strange and think I would call time if she was drunk (as with any other drunk customer) but who am I to tell her not to?

xxx

I do not agree with that. Drinking to excess is irresponsible and dangerous for anyone irrespective of their 'condition'. Whilst pregnant, 'excess' is clearly far less than any other time...to me, while pregnant 1 small glass of wine, once in a while is not excess. Most non-pregnant people would say that somewhat more than that would could consumed before it constitutes 'excess' drinking.

Sorry I just meant for the tone of this thread. We are talking about drinking in a pub etc and I assumed we were meaning drinking more than one which I think most of us agree would be irresponsible and dangerous on a regular basis.

xxx

 

[tallybee]

^ Fair enough I just wanted to clarify

I agree with you that drinking more than one alcoholic drink, regularly, when pregnant is not right.

But, drinking in a pub doesn't mean drinking too much. I've been in pubs whilst pregnant, and had one alcoholic drink and had soft drinks beyond that. Being in the pub doesn't have to mean getting drunk, it's about socialising... plenty of non-pregnant people who are the designated driver for the night or who just don't take much alcohol go to the pub without getting drunk I agree with someone previously who pointed out the mortification that could occur on refusal of being served too.

I think someone said about buying alcohol from shops too? I've bought alcohol loads of times when I wasn't interested in drinking it, because others wanted to drink it... for plenty of reasons other than being pregnant, I would be complaining if I was refused because I had a bump and was just doing someone a favour by picking up some beverages while I was in the shop

So yeah - I don't agree with getting drunk when pregnant. But I think in many instances refusing to sell alcohol to someone solely because they look pregnant could be missing the point

xx

 

[amie-leigh]

tough one i think i would so long as the woman wasnt drunk after all she is an adult and we cant force people to do what we think is right
but on the other hand when i was pregnant i was in asda and was buying my shopping which included a bottle of jack Daniels which was a friends present and the woman at the till got really snotty with me saying she didnt think she should serve me
i didnt touch a drop while pregnant but that made me feel really crappy

 

[tallybee]

^ That must have felt pretty rubbish amie-leigh, that's exactly what I mean xx

 

[smokey]

Ill explain one of the instances I was thinking of.
One of the women that this has happened with was 7 months pregnant, I know this because I had seen her a number of times up at the hospital and at anti natal classes whilst I was pregnant at scans and such and she was about a month ahead of me at the time so there was no doubt of her being pregnant.
I had originaly served the guy with her 4 times each time with 2 alcoholic drinks (both stella if I remember right) each time he returned to their table with their drinks but at the time I didnt have a clue who he was or where he was going with the drinks as its not something you think about with a bar full of people.
It wasnt untill later when I was doing some table rounds that I saw her sitting at a table (no meals) drinking.
She clearly wasnt drunk and if I hadnt of served the guy myself I wouldnt have even known she had been drinking to look at herbut I knew she hadnt had just one so when she then came up to the bar a bit later to get a round I didnt outright refuse to serve her but rather wussed out and left her with some others instead.

 

[elephant29]

^ Fair enough I just wanted to clarify

I agree with you that drinking more than one alcoholic drink, regularly, when pregnant is not right.

But, drinking in a pub doesn't mean drinking too much. I've been in pubs whilst pregnant, and had one alcoholic drink and had soft drinks beyond that. Being in the pub doesn't have to mean getting drunk, it's about socialising... plenty of non-pregnant people who are the designated driver for the night or who just don't take much alcohol go to the pub without getting drunk I agree with someone previously who pointed out the mortification that could occur on refusal of being served too.

I think someone said about buying alcohol from shops too? I've bought alcohol loads of times when I wasn't interested in drinking it, because others wanted to drink it... for plenty of reasons other than being pregnant, I would be complaining if I was refused because I had a bump and was just doing someone a favour by picking up some beverages while I was in the shop

So yeah - I don't agree with getting drunk when pregnant. But I think in many instances refusing to sell alcohol to someone solely because they look pregnant could be missing the point

xx

Hey hun. I totally agree. That's what both my posts have said. I am on the side of not refusing because we cannot tell an adult how to lead her life, whether we agree with it or not.

xxx

 

[moomin_troll]

ive worked in bars and as a barmaid its not my place to say no i wont serve someone if they are over 18 and not drunk. its also not my place to judge her as that might be the one and only drink she has.

ive been out afew times while pregnant and i have had 1 wkd because i wanted to and if the bar person made comments i would be making a offical complaint against them

 

[smokey]

We generaly do have the right to refuse service as we see fit, only the other day I refused to serve someone because he wouldnt have his packaged beer in a glass (bit harsh I know but im sick to death of picking up bottles from out front)
Also we have often refused service because the person was being rude and the managment backs us because we have a right to refuse service, we dont have to serve everyone

As Iv said though I dont actualy refuse them but rather stay out of it to avoid having to face upset or conflict over it.

 

[moomin_troll]

ofcourse u can refuse to serve if a customer is rude, ive done this myself. but for u to refuse to sell to someone because they wouldnt have their drink in a glass is beyond me! its part of ur job to pick up glasses and bottles and thats no reason not to serve anyone at all.
if this had happened to me id of complained to managment and refused to ever go back. you dont have the right to tell someone how they should drink their own drink

 

[Lightworker]

But if you are having even the one drink, how can you be 100% sure it is not affecting your baby negatively? Everyone metabolizes alcohol differently and I'm not sure where I heard this but I thought that whatever you ingest when pregnant, your baby will have first dibs on it, so even if you feel fine after one glass, it may not be so for your baby.

 

[moomin_troll]

some people choose not to drink alchol in pregnancy and some do. just like others dont give up caffine or peanuts, soft cheese or even runny eggs.

i have chosen to have a drink during pregnancy, i do think it would be a totaly different story if i had got blind drunk

 

[elephant29]

But if you are having even the one drink, how can you be 100% sure it is not affecting your baby negatively? Everyone metabolizes alcohol differently and I'm not sure where I heard this but I thought that whatever you ingest when pregnant, your baby will have first dibs on it, so even if you feel fine after one glass, it may not be so for your baby.

I think the answer to this of course u will never now but it is your choice to take that risk. It is not the choice of someone working in a bar to place their beliefs onto you.

xxx

 

[Natsku]

I wouldn't refuse unless they were drunk, they're an adult and can make their own decisions. I often went to the shop while pregnant and bought wine for my OH, and even vodka sometimes, and would have been extremely pissed off if I had been refused service.

 

[mrs_park]

They're an adult they have the right to make their own decisions... But doesn't the child theyre carrying have a right to be healthy? Drinking while pregnant is selfish IMHO