WTT Vent Thread

[bakedbean]

I've noticed that the TTC forum's have a ranting thread for people, and thought it would be good if us WTT ladies had one too (I couldn't find one already made).
This thread is intended for ladies WTT to vent in and let all your WTT stresses out!

This thread is for WTT ONLY. If you are TTC, please use the TTC vent thread

Please do NOT post BFP announcements in this thread.


Hello and happy venting!

 

[xstitcher87]

This seemed like great timing on this thread....begin rant here.....

SO, I am still WTT for #1, 3.5 months to go. My sister announced she was 6 weeks to me tonight. Well, I bawled like a little baby (thank goodness she told me over text!), She is nearly 5 years younger than me, not in the best position financially, isn't married, her partner is a bit of a jerk and she hasn't even finished her traineeship...

I am simulataneously happy for her, because she did miscarry at 13 weeks when she was 19 years old (currently she's 23) and it devastated the whole family. BUT I AM ALSO SO SO SO SO JEALOUS, MAD and ANGRY.

I come from a large family and as the eldest I didn't get much of my mum's time as a young child or teenager. Telling her our TTC plans is the first time I have ever felt like I've had my mother's whole attention, just on me, just on my plans and my dreams.

That is now gone

Then I feel like a horrible awful person that I feel like this....I have spent the last hour and a bit bawling my eyes out to my ever sympathetic, patient, loving husband. WTT was already so difficult and to watch someone else....is so so so so difficult.....and yet I feel like a complete jerk!!!

My mum TRIES so hard not to differentiate or compare, I know she'd be just as happy for me, she loves kids, if she had her way we'd all have about 10, lol, but it already doesn't feel the same as before.

end of my very very rambly rant.

 

[bakedbean]

xstitcher87 - So sorry to hear you're feeling like that. You're not an awful person, I would totally act and feel the same way! It's definitely really difficult having people pip us to the post when we've been waiting for so long! I hope letting it all out has helped a bit! x

 

[xstitcher87]

Thanks for the reply bakedbean. It definitely feels better to get it all off my chest. Those emotions were also all mixed in with fear for my sister and her baby. I really hope everything goes smoothly for her too.

I guess it was an excellent idea to have a venting thread!!

 

[fxmummyduck]

My dh informed me today that if it was up to him we would be trying already. He is broody and happy to have another!!!!!

Arghhh!!! So it turns out I've been the one stalling on TTC.

I just can't get my head around a move abroad pregnant, being somewhere new on my own with no support..... And I still can't get past the fact my sil would hate me for stealing her thunder the year she gets married.

I'm so torn now!!!!!

 

[Mrs P5515]

Definitely an excellent idea!

Xstitcher87 you are not a terrible person! Most of us here can relate to the feelings you've talked about. My 3 close friends are all pregnant at the moment and at times when my resilience is low I've had to distance myself from them for a little while just as some self preservation during our WTT journey. It is really hard.

Having your mum to yourself in that way must have been so lovely, do you feel you could have that conversation with her about how your feeling?

xx

 

[MissN8]

Thanks for starting the thread. It helps to vent now and again. I've been struggling with the wait for a while but have to think positive that my time will come eventually. Its hard seeing friends and family having their babies when its what you want. Anyone any tips to stay sane?

 

[bakedbean]

fxmummyduck - If you and your OH feel ready, then go for it! No point trying to please other people because there will always be someone unhappy about something. If you wait until after the wedding, she might end up pregnant herself and claim you're 'stealing her thunder' if you're also pregnant!

MissN8 - Completely understand I tend to look at baby things I'd like to buy, think about the design i'd do the nursery and also talk to my OH about our future children and hypothetical questions - that helps me to stay sane!

 

[xstitcher87]

Thanks Mrs P5515, I have given it a few more days and though I still feel a little bit shunted to the side (for lack of a better term). It is okay. I have a really really lovely awesome, can't say enough good things about him, husband and in some ways, my sister needs more of my mother's attention as her partner is not as awesome He likes to go out a lot and drink etc, so she'll probably end up doing a lot of stuff on her own. Something I won't have to worry about really.

Thanks for being there for me when I needed to vent!!

 

[xstitcher87]

Miss N8 - I'll be keen to see what tips you get! I could do with a few. I do find that focusing on getting myself in the best health possible quite a good distraction. We're also spring cleaning our house one room at a time (which means one room every second weekend when my husband has off from work). That keeps me busy.

 

[twilightgeek2]

Here goes! I have been broody for ages.... i mean literally since i was about 15 ! Made worse by the fact a few years ago i had a miscarriage and didn't really deal with it well after having found out a few weeks after that my ex was cheating on me with a 16 year old!(bearing in mind he was 27 at the time!) now im in a new relationship (coming up to a year) a very happy one (and when you know you know right?) and finally can talk about trying and explaining how my baby clocks been ticking forever. So today we had another random chat about having our own children stemmed from a conversation about how me seeing him look after his nephew so well on his own for the first time made me broody. And he just goes out and says maybe one day soon! this is the first MAYBE ive gotten! im excited but scared as i know full well we need our own place together- which is happening soon, and also need full time jobs- which is also only a stones throw away. im so excited but on the other hand i feel like the broody bus has just slammed into me and now i cant stop looking at all things baby.... prams, clothes, room decorations, maternity clothes you name it in the last few hours ive been scouring the net none stop! GAH somebody please turn the brood down a notch to what it was before? i mean it wasn't even a yes it was a maybe! haha sighhh

 

[bakedbean]

Argh! I'm so fed up of WTT

 

[Symphony7]

I hear you, girl. Me too. :/ I am getting down to my ticker being in the single digits for months, which is closer than I have ever been. But I'm just getting tired.

I was never bothered before about being around people with their babies but a few weeks ago I went to DHs work party...I didn't know it was going to be all families with young children. I took it surprisingly poorly. I didn't have anyone to talk to really as all the moms were sitting around talking about their kids. I always feel like I can't chime in because I'm not a mom...so I couldn't possibly relate.

Then my husband's cousin's wife just announced she is 11 weeks with #2. They had #1 in June 2014 as just a two week old at my SIL's wedding. So she will have had two babies before I will have even gotten to TRY for my first. Everyone has their own journey, I know...but it was kind of hard to swallow when I'm starting to get impatient and a bit bummed about it. I never had an inundation of babies on my FB before, but I have had my best friend give birth to her second, a college friend give birth to her first, my childhood friend give birth to her first, and the pregnancy announcement within a few weeks.

The wait was never that hard for me...I mean emotionally, before. I'm just tired of it. It's been 4 years with still a year to go...I'm ready. I feel like it's my turn. But I'm still not there.

 

[MissN8]

Finding the waiting so hard too. Less than a year to go but seems so long away still. I've found trying to keep busy helps somewhat. Decorating. Exercising and going on dates with oh which we won't be able to do as much when lo comes along. It's coming up to 6 years waiting for me wow so long.

 

[sweetysangel8]

I went to a family wedding yesterday and was asked "when are you having a baby" at least 5 times! Luckly DH knows I'm struggling and he actually stepped in and answered it every time. I was a little proud of him.

 

[sequeena]

My rants.... Where to begin.

My cousin is pregnant with her 4th, due in december. It's all I heqr about. I love her dearly and am so pleased for her and excited but I wish she were a little more sensitive around me at times. She knows I hqve pcos and that we may never have qnother sibling for thomas (he is disabled and has an undiagnosed gentic condition).

I'm upset thqt people keep asking me when we will have another then they go on to say oh yes thomas is a handful... so stop fucking asking me then!!!!

 

[MissN8]

I know I don't understand how ppl can be so rude and nosy and opinionated. I would never ask someone something so personal.

 

[Kiwiberry]

I am getting so frustrated with the waiting. We are not even sure when we will be ready to start trying for a second baby. I am going to be 28 in November, and it took me a long time to get pregnant the first time around.

 

[bakedbean]

Finding the waiting so hard too. Less than a year to go but seems so long away still. I've found trying to keep busy helps somewhat. Decorating. Exercising and going on dates with oh which we won't be able to do as much when lo comes along. It's coming up to 6 years waiting for me wow so long.

I hope your time comes soon, MissN8.

I hear you, girl. Me too. :/ I am getting down to my ticker being in the single digits for months, which is closer than I have ever been. But I'm just getting tired.

I was never bothered before about being around people with their babies but a few weeks ago I went to DHs work party...I didn't know it was going to be all families with young children. I took it surprisingly poorly. I didn't have anyone to talk to really as all the moms were sitting around talking about their kids. I always feel like I can't chime in because I'm not a mom...so I couldn't possibly relate.

Then my husband's cousin's wife just announced she is 11 weeks with #2. They had #1 in June 2014 as just a two week old at my SIL's wedding. So she will have had two babies before I will have even gotten to TRY for my first. Everyone has their own journey, I know...but it was kind of hard to swallow when I'm starting to get impatient and a bit bummed about it. I never had an inundation of babies on my FB before, but I have had my best friend give birth to her second, a college friend give birth to her first, my childhood friend give birth to her first, and the pregnancy announcement within a few weeks.

The wait was never that hard for me...I mean emotionally, before. I'm just tired of it. It's been 4 years with still a year to go...I'm ready. I feel like it's my turn. But I'm still not there.

ugh, that must be awful surrounded by babies and pregnant ladies! A lot of people I know are on their 2nd as well.

I'm sorry you feel you couldn't talk to anyone at the party - I totally understand what you mean