2013 losses- rainbow baby making thread...

[karenh]

Earthmama: Sorry AF came. Good luck this cycle.

Mowat: OH NO! I am sorry you have to go through another loss. I hope they can figure out what is going on and help you carry full term.

Lucy: So sorry you are in pain and that this cycle didn’t work. TTC is such a rough journey.

George: seeing blood has got to be so scary. I am glad that you have been able to be monitored and that everything is ok. I hope you are able to enjoy your pregnancy soon.

Mah: I hope you get your BFP today. Good luck studying for the bar. That is stressful enough in and of itself. Take care of yourself.

AFM: I got AF this weekend. We are done TTC. It is really hard, but I think we may be moving toward adoption. DH is thinking about talking about it. We don't have the money right now becuase of our two years of medical treatments to try and have a baby, so we are probably going to have to wait two years before we can start that process. I really hope it doesn't take that long, but who knows.

 

[mah0113]

Karen, your sig breaks my heart. You must be a very strong woman. I can't imagine getting to te day where I decide I am just done ttc---it must be a very difficult decision. But you never know what the future holds--a fam friend of ours tried for TEN years. She wound up having a baby naturally after a decade of trying. This entire process is just such a mystery. It really sucks having no control. I wish you the best, and lots of healthy happy babies.

As for me, I thought I got a faint shadowy line on a wondfo this morning, my husband could see it too. So I went out and bought first response and I'm pretty sure it's bfn. 12 dpo today. I used second morning urine. I was so sure it would be a positive that I bought my hubby a "happy Father's Day to dad-to-be" card and thought I'd leave it on his pillow so he sees it when he gets home. I cried in the middle of cvs when I read the card. So disappointed.

 

[Kat S]

AFM: I got AF this weekend. We are done TTC. It is really hard, but I think we may be moving toward adoption. DH is thinking about talking about it. We don't have the money right now becuase of our two years of medical treatments to try and have a baby, so we are probably going to have to wait two years before we can start that process. I really hope it doesn't take that long, but who knows.

Oh, Karen...I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know you've just done it all time and time again. This really sucks. I'm happy for you that you still have the option to adopt. Once you get "too old," even that option is closed unless you have heaps of money. Your rainbow baby is still in your future! If you aren't up for sticking around, I'd still like to keep in touch if you like. Up to you! email is: [email protected]

 

[Kat S]

As for me, I thought I got a faint shadowy line on a wondfo this morning, my husband could see it too. So I went out and bought first response and I'm pretty sure it's bfn. 12 dpo today. I used second morning urine. I was so sure it would be a positive that I bought my hubby a "happy Father's Day to dad-to-be" card and thought I'd leave it on his pillow so he sees it when he gets home. I cried in the middle of cvs when I read the card. So disappointed.

Ugh, that is hard. I hate seeing that bfn BUT...you're not out yet!! I know you feel super disappointed and sad, but af hasn't shown up yet, and so so so many women just don't get a positive test until a few days later. It can be the same for you. Try to shake off today's test, put that card away for later, and keep hoping!

 

[karenh]

AFM: I got AF this weekend. We are done TTC. It is really hard, but I think we may be moving toward adoption. DH is thinking about talking about it. We don't have the money right now becuase of our two years of medical treatments to try and have a baby, so we are probably going to have to wait two years before we can start that process. I really hope it doesn't take that long, but who knows.

Oh, Karen...I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know you've just done it all time and time again. This really sucks. I'm happy for you that you still have the option to adopt. Once you get "too old," even that option is closed unless you have heaps of money. Your rainbow baby is still in your future! If you aren't up for sticking around, I'd still like to keep in touch if you like. Up to you! email is: [email protected]

I would love to keep in touch! [email protected]

 

[Kasey84]

Lucylake- Thank you for your kind words. You've been such a support and I really hope we get to continue our journeys as bump buddies very soon

Mah0113- I'm sorry for the bfn, but don't count yourself out yet! I hope it turns out to be a bfp!

Karenh- Words cannot express how sorry I am. My heart breaks for you. It sounds like you've walked a long and hard road and its so unfair. Whatever path you choose to move forward on I hope it leads you to a Rainbow. You deserve it and you'll be such a good mom

 

[mah0113]

Well ladies, like clock work, had a temp dip at 13 dpo. I guess this means af will be here in two days

I just don't understand...we timed everything, my chart was so different than last month, I had a fever (I can't remember the last time I had a fever before this)... How on earth do people get pregnant "accidentally" when all this orchestrating yields no results!!

 

[Kat S]

Well ladies, like clock work, had a temp dip at 13 dpo. I guess this means af will be here in two days

I just don't understand...we timed everything, my chart was so different than last month, I had a fever (I can't remember the last time I had a fever before this)... How on earth do people get pregnant "accidentally" when all this orchestrating yields no results!!

Ugh, I'm so sorry!

Yeah, that frustrates me, too! Here I have two follies and did a perfectly timed IUI so the swimmers didn't die off trying to get through the cervix and up to the Fallopian tubes. Yet it hasn't worked yet (aside from one m/c)!! I don't truly understand.

 

[Kasey84]

Well ladies, like clock work, had a temp dip at 13 dpo. I guess this means af will be here in two days

I just don't understand...we timed everything, my chart was so different than last month, I had a fever (I can't remember the last time I had a fever before this)... How on earth do people get pregnant "accidentally" when all this orchestrating yields no results!!

I know just what you mean. I had this same conversation with a friend yesterday! It's nothing short of a miracle that people get pregnant accidentally. And it's so frustrating for those of us who work so hard and end up disappointed each month

I hope it's our turn soon!

 

[LucyLake]

MAH0113: Thank you for speaking my language. Don't count yourself out yet, that chart looks good and is well above your coverline. Mine went below coverline the morning I got my AF! Remember that a very small number of pregnancy charts actually go triphasic, but it's important to stay above the coverline is all. I loved what you said about how difficult this is. I had an easy go of it the first two times, they were first try successes. The third time hasn't been the charm and I'm at a loss to understand. I'm hoping it's because both months, I bd the day before ovulation and not the day of. I'm lost because I saw my OB yesterday (worrywart craziness made me go in) and she said my lining is perfect and my ovaries look good. She told me to keep charting and doing my OPK's and after 6 months, they will review and give me meds if needed but she doesn't think it will be an issue. I've been running, but eating a ton and maintaining current weight just to create the blood flow needed for good lining. I eat leafy greens everyday, force myself to inhale kale practically, have invested tons of money in protein shakes. Could it be my husband? I hope everything goes well with your exams! I totally understand as my SIL is in law school at St. Mary's and it's a full-time job. And that's not even a top tier school! I didn't realize how close August is. I hope you still get pregnant this month because though August seems close, everyday of TTC feels like an eternity.

 

[LucyLake]

KatS: you've been a huge source of inspiration for me. I just want to know why Baby and Bump doesn't have a like button for posts because I always agree with you. Good luck with your upcoming TWW. I'm really dying to hear some more good news on this thread after the last few days!

Kasey84: thank you so much. I've taken away so many lessons in patience and just wish I could be more like you since I started here in February. I'm so hoping that this is your month! You deserve it and will be a great mom seeing how patient you are! And as I told KatS, this thread could use some good news!

George83: How are things going?

Nimyra: thinking of you. Yesterday was crazy and I moved all this crap in our home office and we bought a new Dell. I also saw my OB!! I am not as busy this evening.

Mowat: how are you getting on? Thinking of you so much

KarenH: Karen, with all my heart I'm sorry about this month. I so want you to get your little one!!! I can only imagine how you're feeling and just pray so much that you will Not be trying per say, but get pregnant naturally in the coming months. . Be kind to yourself. Your husband sounds like an absolute gem and I have no doubt that good things come to those who wait. I hope you also adopt and conceive on your own. I wonder if you can do IVF at some point? I cannot believe that here in the states, it's out of pocket, but you get one shot at it free elsewhere! I'm on FB if you want to add me everyone and also my emails [email protected]. Let us know how you get on KarenH, you're never alone! Huge hugs and I'd love to add you!!

 

[Kat S]

Awww, LL! Man, we really have to keep each other going because no matter how much my real life friends and family care, they have NO IDEA what I'm going through. You guys do. You know the elation, frustration, panic, etc that comes every day...hell, several times a day! You guys make me feel normal.

I have to admit I'm having a tough time today. 3 dpiui and my PMA seems to have drowned in the sea. My trigger shot gives me false symptoms, so that's frustrating to deal with each day. Is it or isn't it? I feel like...like I did when I was 16 and I suspected my boyfriend was either going to ask me to prom or going to break up with me any minute. GAHHHH! So frustrating! I'm feeling crampy and icky today...nothing major...just enough to notice and be annoyed because it's making me think about WHY it's hurting every single second.

 

[LucyLake]

KatS: huge hugs and loved your prom analogy! . I often feel the same thing as I wait every month hoping a previously one and done husband doesn't get cold feet (knock on wood so far), hoping to see ovulatory patterns, looking in vain for symptoms...it's like trying to get out of quicksand really and just treading above the surface!

You are so right and I can honestly say it feels like a family here! My husband doesn't share my concerns about lining and lifestyle.

I'm so sorry about your day today!! But, I'm also so hopeful for you having heard so many stories of first tri ladies unexpectedly sick during the two week wait!! . I hope this is your month so much!! . Be kind to yourself today, you so deserve it! I'm making it my absolute mission to hit Sephora after work and buy some marshmallow powder! Retail therapy lol!

Thinking about you a lot

 

[Kat S]

LL, I'm glad you are having an up day!! Your positive energy really helps, too!

Well, I'm not "sick" per se, just have some uterine cramping, which is par for the course with the trigger shot. Happens to me every month we use it! But you can imagine that having any feelings down there gives you hope that it means more "this time".

We've decided to paint our fireplace wall a nice blue/grey color. Our house is in a Colonial revival style, so "federal blue" seemed a good choice! We'll leave the fireplace ivory so it stands out agains the dark wall. Hoping this project cheers me up today!!!

 

[LucyLake]

My doctor said be positive and tell yourself this is it. I'm entering my 3rd cycle of TTC and hoping third times the charm! I had a box of 45 Always pads that had lasted since the MC. I'm down to 2 left and just absolutely refuse to buy more! Hoping that having none left is a sign that the witch won't be welcome this coming month!

Federal blue sounds so lovely and what a great bonding experience for you and your hubby! I love the idea! Colonial is my favorite, we have Cape Cod style and I just dream of a large Colonial, Federal style.

Your cramps sound like a great and positive sign, especially if they're just strangely light pulling. I hope you feel better KatS and enjoy this day! It's raining here a bit and kind of quiet. Huge hugs and good luck with the project, I know it will turn out amazing!

 

[mah0113]

MAH0113: Thank you for speaking my language. Don't count yourself out yet, that chart looks good and is well above your coverline. Mine went below coverline the morning I got my AF! Remember that a very small number of pregnancy charts actually go triphasic, but it's important to stay above the coverline is all. I loved what you said about how difficult this is. I had an easy go of it the first two times, they were first try successes. The third time hasn't been the charm and I'm at a loss to understand. I'm hoping it's because both months, I bd the day before ovulation and not the day of. I'm lost because I saw my OB yesterday (worrywart craziness made me go in) and she said my lining is perfect and my ovaries look good. She told me to keep charting and doing my OPK's and after 6 months, they will review and give me meds if needed but she doesn't think it will be an issue. I've been running, but eating a ton and maintaining current weight just to create the blood flow needed for good lining. I eat leafy greens everyday, force myself to inhale kale practically, have invested tons of money in protein shakes. Could it be my husband? I hope everything goes well with your exams! I totally understand as my SIL is in law school at St. Mary's and it's a full-time job. And that's not even a top tier school! I didn't realize how close August is. I hope you still get pregnant this month because though August seems close, everyday of TTC feels like an eternity.

happy to hear your tests thus far are looking good! its also good to know that you've already carried babies to term, so hopefully its just a matter of time for you. how long have you been ttc your third?

also, what does kale do?

and lastly, my temp stayed above the coverline last month too--it was just the temp dip that signaled AF. I think that might be because of the progesterone..I have a feeling that while I am on it, my temp wont dip below cover. Its really weird tho, because some nights I take it much later so there is like a 27 hour gap between doses, and of course I temp every 5 minutes even tho its not useful info lol., but I noticed that once the 24 hour mark nears my temps start going down, and once it passes, they are way down. I am trying to strike a balance between keeping 2% hope, because Ive seen preg charts with temp dips, and not being unrealistic---bc I also know what is normal for me. I went to sleep last night thinking "if my temp is down in the morning, its over." So I dont want to hold onto false hope [esp after another bfn] and then be crushed all over again. But then theres the crazy ttc'er inside thats like "well...you DID sleep with the AC on the first time in a few weeks so mayyybbbeee.." lol.

 

[Kat S]

Mah0113, omg, yes, we do tell ourselves some whoppers when in reality we know it's over, don't we? It's so hard to let go each month...

That said, I really hope you get your BFP very soon! ...and it really is true that it's not over 'till AF flies!

 

[mowat]

Thanks for thinking of me Lucy. Still hanging in there. No sign of miscarriage yet---hoping something happens soon.

The good news is I heard from my doctor in Vancouver. One of my local doctors called her and she called me back the same day. She said she'd like to do a hysteroscopy and lysis of adhesions (removal of scar tissue basically), in July when I'll be in Vancouver anyway. Really hoping this is the answer to my recurrent miscarriages.

Hope everyone else is well.

 

[karenh]

DH sat me down last night to make sure I knew that he wants to adopt. He is starting to get excited about it, but he is also still trying to deal with the loss of not being able to “create” a child. He says he will get there, it will just take him longer than me. I personally don’t care if you child has our DNA or not. The biggest loss I felt is when I thought we would never have kids. We have our first fundraiser this weekend. We are doing a garage sale, and so many people have contributed stuff that we don’t have enough room to put it. I just hope that people come and buy the stuff!

My blog is up and running, though it is still a work in progress. I hope you guys can all follow me! Jkhadoption.wordpress.com

 

[Kasey84]

Kat S and Lucylake, it really is like family here! I don't know what I would do without this support. My family and friends are good, yes, but its not the same!

How are you doing Kat S? I hope today is a better day for you!

Mah0113- My fingers are crossed for you!

Mowat- I'm glad to hear you have some appointments coming up soon. I hope it's a step toward your rainbow

Karenh- Ill definitely be following your blog! I'm so excited for you as you began the process for adoption. I hope you have a baby in your arms before too long

AFM, I'm on cd 19 and still no positive opk! My cycles have been inconsistent since my mc- 27, 29, 35, and 33 days. I did have EWCM on cd 13,14, and 15. Could I have missed the LH surge or maybe I didn't ovulate? Any thoughts? This is so frustrating