3 failed IUIs. How do you cope?

[Bma11]

Thanks sashimi!

My THIRD IUI was confirmed negative a little while ago. I'm not okay, but I've got my health and faith.
Can you believe someone opened fire at an elementary school in conneticut?!? Sickos. My heart hurts for them and the precious little lives lost that we know how freaking hard it is to even reproduce! Ugh.

 

[Trulyoo]

The shooting is depressing me. Those poor little children.........their parents and families during the holiday season. I just can't fathom...

 

[Rona]

Hi,

Thank you for sharing your experience. May I ask you how old you are and why they think your first IVF failed? I'm 26, and looking at IVF for my next option. I'm terrified to fail the first one. It's an incredible amount of money and time. My place guarantees ivf the second and subsequent cycles, we just have to pay everything besides physician fees which are almost 7,000 alone. It's a scary thing to here it didn't work the first time but awesome to hear it did the second time. My hubby is not convinced of ivf and for that we are having problems. He is 41 and has two kids. He just says we'll see, he's kinda pissed that I'm talking about it like I am because today I take my blood pregnancy test to see if this third IUI failed and he says I'm getting ahead of myself. Sorry for rambling, just have a lot on my mind.

Congrats on your baby!!!! So happy for you!

Hi Bma,

Sorry about your failed IUIs....I know its not easy, but hang in there.

I am 40 and you're on the good side, you still very young and it will happen .

I think I failed the first IVF because I didn't stim long enough. Only about 8 - 9 days, so the eggs quality not so good. I transferred on Day 5 but on Day 4 all my embryos slow grow to compact Morulas only. It should be blast on Day 5. So I already kind of know that it not a good thing. I used Antagonists protocol with 150 each of Menopur and Bravelle.

On 2nd IVF I used Estrogen Priming Protocol (EPP), they doubled my dose to 300 each of Menopur and Bravelle. I stimmed longer, about 12 days. First one 5 eggs 5 fertilized, second IVF 6 retrieved and 4 fertilized. I asked my RE to transfer on Day 3 all 4 embryos on my 2nd IVF because I want them to be in me soon as possible. If you have a lot of eggs fertilized you may can wait until Day 5. So they can tweak the best of the best. But after my first failed IVF, I was so worry that they will slow grow again at Day 4. I think my persistence and told my RE what I want paid off. From 4 transferred 1 miracle make it. I am praying it a healthy pregnancy for me.

Good luck and baby dust.

 

[Bma11]

Thank you Rona. I pray you do have a happy and healthy 9 months and baby!

I definitely will use your experience as a guide when consulting my dr on Wednesday.

 

[LuckyW]

Thanks Mimi and everyone else for this thread.

I had 3 failed IUIs last year with an ob/gyn, so I sought out a fertility specialist. Turned out I had a polyp in the way. Once that got removed, the next IUI worked!

But it didn't work out, I ended up losing. So back to IUIs.

And now there have been 3 more that didn't work.

I am pretty sad. I've had my chin up through the whole journey, even including the mmc, because I believed it was going to happen, eventually. Don't know why, just did. I suppose the "successful" IUI post hysteroscopy led me to believe I was plenty fertile, just the polyp had been in the way.

Also I've been positive because my partner has been great. He's come along to almost every ultrasound. He's made all the doctor visits bearable, almost fun. The whole thing has brought us closer together.

But I'm 42, not too far from 43. This last IUI not working out has hit me pretty hard. Like I need to face that this really might just never be.

We'll be taking the next cycle off to just enjoy the holidays. And maybe my body needs a rest from all the exogenous hormones. The acupuncturist seemed to think a month off from all the drugs would be a good thing.

But it feels like we should consider calling it done, not meant to be. Then I could at least start moving on.

 

[Bma11]

Thanks Mimi and everyone else for this thread.

I had 3 failed IUIs last year with an ob/gyn, so I sought out a fertility specialist. Turned out I had a polyp in the way. Once that got removed, the next IUI worked!

But it didn't work out, I ended up losing. So back to IUIs.

And now there have been 3 more that didn't work.

I am pretty sad. I've had my chin up through the whole journey, even including the mmc, because I believed it was going to happen, eventually. Don't know why, just did. I suppose the "successful" IUI post hysteroscopy led me to believe I was plenty fertile, just the polyp had been in the way.

Also I've been positive because my partner has been great. He's come along to almost every ultrasound. He's made all the doctor visits bearable, almost fun. The whole thing has brought us closer together.

But I'm 42, not too far from 43. This last IUI not working out has hit me pretty hard. Like I need to face that this really might just never be.

We'll be taking the next cycle off to just enjoy the holidays. And maybe my body needs a rest from all the exogenous hormones. The acupuncturist seemed to think a month off from all the drugs would be a good thing.

But it feels like we should consider calling it done, not meant to be. Then I could at least start moving on.

Hey there, sorry for your pain. We all know how you feel. :/
Is IVF not an option you are considering? I too, am taking a break to enjoy the holidays and wrap my head around IVF. I think not will be really good for us!!
Wish you well!!

 

[ttcbaby117]

Rona - can you PM me the name of the fertility clinic you used in NY? If it was less that 15k for travel and the actual procedure, it might work out better for me than Florida.

 

[LuckyW]

Hey there, sorry for your pain. We all know how you feel. :/
Is IVF not an option you are considering? I too, am taking a break to enjoy the holidays and wrap my head around IVF. I think not will be really good for us!!
Wish you well!!

Thanks.

I guess we are also trying to wrap our heads around IVF, as you say. Paying for it wouldn't be much fun, but we could probably manage it.

Just seems like such a long shot. The stats are my age are super bleak. Somehow I'd managed to keep cheerfully optimistic despite all the numbers, at least until now. Now I'm like "F, those numbers suck."

Also, have to say I'm not without worry about such a hyper-aggressive approach. Though at this point I've probably already shot myself up with all the fertility drugs that are involved in IVF anyway. So they'd be poking around my ovaries some too now, doesn't seem like such a huge step.

Hope you enjoy your break too. Thanks for being here, and Happy Holidays!

 

[Rona]

Rona - can you PM me the name of the fertility clinic you used in NY? If it was less that 15k for travel and the actual procedure, it might work out better for me than Florida.

Hi, I sent you the PM

 

[StayHopeful]

Rona, could you send me the name too?

 

[Bma11]

Lucky- understood! I wish you all the best!

 

[ttcbaby117]

Rona this pricing is about 3 k cheaper than my current RE....do you like the Dr? Are you comfortable there? I am going to price put my travel there as opposed to Florida and see if it would work out better.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Happy 2013 ladies! Just wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing. Hoping this year brings lots of BFPs!

 

[Sunshine24]

Happy New Year to you too!

My I have 1.5 days left in my 2ww from my 4th IUI and feel AF coming on.....I'm thinking it didnt work this time. I have a lap schedule in February and actually hope they find something that would explain all of this.

Anyone have a laparascopy procedure and then a successful IUI after? Our insurance will only pay for one more so I dont want to try again in January if they find something wrong in Feb!

There is, of course, still a tiny, tiny glimmer of hope right now since AF hasnt showed yet but I SWEAR it could be any second. Hope to make it to my bloodwork on Friday AM without her rearing her ugly head!

 

[PinkPeony]

Can I join the discussion ladies? I just had my 3rd failed IUI and I'm at a loss at what to do next. I know I can't handle going through another one this cycle and I think I need to take some time to figure out what my next step is. My FS recommended IUI bc we have motility problems but I just feel like after 3 it's clearly not working. I might try again in Feb and add some medication to the mix.... but I just don't know.

Sunshine - sorry haven't had a lap but I know what you mean about wanting to wait till all the test results are in before going ahead with another. We're paying completely out of pocket for our IUI's so each one better count! Hope AF stays away for you so you don't have to worry about the lap at all!

 

[Sunshine24]

Can I join the discussion ladies? I just had my 3rd failed IUI and I'm at a loss at what to do next. I know I can't handle going through another one this cycle and I think I need to take some time to figure out what my next step is. My FS recommended IUI bc we have motility problems but I just feel like after 3 it's clearly not working. I might try again in Feb and add some medication to the mix.... but I just don't know.

Sunshine - sorry haven't had a lap but I know what you mean about wanting to wait till all the test results are in before going ahead with another. We're paying completely out of pocket for our IUI's so each one better count! Hope AF stays away for you so you don't have to worry about the lap at all!

Hi Pink-- I am so sorry for what you are going through and I do know how you feel! It's such an emotional roller coaster.

After my 3rd IUI I felt completely hopeless and asked me RE what the heck I should do next?

I am open to IVF, surgery, adoption, ANYTHING--so she knew this when she responded that she really thinks IUI will work for most people....over time. That's the key ( and problem! ) It really only gives couples struggling with fertility like "normal" odds, which, sometimes can take a "normal" couple up to a year ( or more! ) to conceive. She said that persistence is key and sometimes riiiiight before you give up is when the miracle happens. I'm clinging to that!! Esp now with my bloods on Friday and AF on her way ( or so it seems )

She also did say though that a laparoscopy is a good idea when you have had 3+ IUI and no BFP. I know your factor is male though, so perhaps that would not be a good choice. In any case my RE said if you think that an IUI has like a 20% success rate each time you really can, in good faith, give it a go 5x before even getting concerned with the results.

Of course, none of us want to wait cycle after cycle and hear BFN, which is why I am doing the lap.

My fingers crossed for you. IT WILL HAPPEN. We have to believe. Please update us on what you do next.

 

[SashimiMimi]

Sunshine: Good luck with the 4th IUI. I had some major AF-type cramps after doing IVF and thought for sure it hadn't worked. I even had a bit of red spotting and it turned out to be a BFP, so fingers crossed for you.

I was also scheduled to do a lap after 3 fails, but doctor advised against it due to my low reserve. I have a friend who I met through BnB who did a lap and a hysteroscopy. They found endo and some cysts and removed them and she got a BFP naturally following the procedure. My RE said he has seen a lot of success after a lap because they can usually fix whatever it is that's not showing up on tests.

Pink: Sorry to hear about your third fail... I don't know what it is about the third IUI failing, but I can completely relate. I was a mess after the third fail happened to me and it took me a very long time before I could come to terms with it. I can't quite figure out why some IUIs work and some don't. For some people it works on their first or second try and others it's the sixth or seventh. I guess just do what you need to do in order to support yourself emotionally and then find the best plan with your doctor going forward. But I know what it feels like to think that none of these things are ever going to work, but they will!!!

 

[PinkPeony]

Thanks so much Sunshine. I really needed to hear that. I wish my RE communicated like that to me. Every time I start to ask about what will be next if the IUI's don't work she's just like - be more positive!! OK sure but I just need to know what to expect. It's tough because we don't have the perspective that they do. They see a million ppl like us and they know most folks will get preg eventually but when your in the situation it feels like it'll never happen!

 

[Sunshine24]

SashimiMimi--Thank you so much!!! Your positive encouragement was much needed right now!!!

 

[Sunshine24]

Thanks so much Sunshine. I really needed to hear that. I wish my RE communicated like that to me. Every time I start to ask about what will be next if the IUI's don't work she's just like - be more positive!! OK sure but I just need to know what to expect. It's tough because we don't have the perspective that they do. They see a million ppl like us and they know most folks will get preg eventually but when your in the situation it feels like it'll never happen!

And Pink-- I know it will happen for you. It's so so hard sometimes, but I think about it this way---we have two choices.....give up or give it everything we've got!!!