33 and looking for early/mid 30s buddy

[EMC0528]

I had a -OPK last night. I'll try again this afternoon.

Nicole how are you feeling?
Joanna, you excited you got your +OPK?

Girls I had a complete melt down last night....I had Easter supper with my sister, held my 6 month old nephew the whole time wishing I didn't have to wait so long before I had my own. My sister's good friend was also there and is due May 21. She asked me if I wanted to feel the baby move. My mother was asking when we're gonna give Dominic a sibling....it was horrible. I went home, went into the bathroom and cried and cried. I can't believe it's been 8 months. I know other people have been trying longer, and I know I am blessed to have Dominic, but honestly the pressure is getting a bit more than I can handle.

DH and I are going to try this month with very low expectations, and next month we are taking off. I will still elevate hips and dtd lots in the middle of my cycle but that's it. We didn't use OPK's or temp to get pregnant with Dom and I think a lower stress approach is better. If it happens it happens, no expectations.

Thanks for letting me rant

 

[workingttc]

Oh, Erica, I'm so sorry. That sounds like waaaay too much to bear!! It is absolutely ok to feel upset and disappointed and depressed by all of this, even though of course there are people who've been trying longer - I think from month 1 the disappointment can be crippling! Wherever we are on the ttc journey, it's difficult and painful until you get your BFP!

I have seen lots of success stories on here where people "take a month off" and then conceive! Hopefully you'll get your BFP this month but if not, I am sure that strategy will be a good thing for you, at least for one cycle. I feel like I could do skip the temping and OPKs next cycle too - I just feel like I'm getting to know my body better not, so it's less of a mystery that I need the OPKs and thermometer for.

The OPKs definitely make things stressful - I was awake half the night last night debating whether or not DH and I should DTD tonight or tomorrow morning (and if that'd be too late). (I'm not going to do both because we're concerned about his spermies, since the last 3 cycles we've BD'd pretty much every day during my fertile period and nothing).

Anyway, hang in there. We're here for you.

 

[EMC0528]

Thanks Joanna. I think I keep telling myself I "shouldn't" be upset and I "shouldn't" let it bother me. I think I need to stop "shoulding" myself and feel what I feel. I let it all build up because I didn't want to show how much it was affecting me, it totally boiled over.

This has been SO stressful!!!

 

[pfab]

Erica,
I'm so sorry you had a bad night! TTC is stressful enough without the outside pressure of family, other pregnancies, etc. I'm so sorry.

I was extremely irritable yesterday too because at our family's Easter dinner, we had 12 little ones running around. They ranged from 6 months to 12 years old, so watching them in so many stages of childhood was awesome and frustrating all in one. On top of that, my cousin's wife is pregnant...and they weren't "trying." It just happened. Must be nice. Then I have to walk in and hear my Mom talking to my Aunt about "how hard it must be" for me. Bla bla bla. It's so frustrating.

So, Erica, I hear you loud and clear. This is stressful enough without all this other stuff. I just keep thinking it'll happen for us!

I can't remember if I told you girls already, but I have 3 step-kids. So, three of the 12 mentioned kids are ours...sort of. This makes it so much more frustrating because I feel like an impostor. I am doing "Mom" things, but I'm not their Mom. They have a Mom. Anyway, that's been stressing me out too.

Here's to successful ovulating and stress-free lives (if that's possible!!!)!!!


Shelby

 

[anetha]

:wave::wave::wave:

Erica, Joanna, Shelby, I can't stop thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts and dust, you can't imagine!
Erica, I'm sorry you had a breakdown, but you're right, it had to come out, and you know we all look up to you for ttcing on top of your job, your studies, and taking care of your son and husband with such devotion! You have a right to melt down, I think I would have started saying things I would have regretted... I mean, the pressure is crazy! This goes to you too Shelby, hearing your mom say that it must be hard for you! Arghhh...
Of course, Joanna, I'm not forgetting you, I think that if you want to stick to your plan, you should stick to it, and have no regrets. Bd tomorrow morning, and don't look back!!!
erica, have you thought of seeing your obgyn and saying that you've been trying for more than a year (a white lie...), maybe that would help you feel more in control: talking to a doctor, about your worries, and getting a professional answer, maybe do some fertility tests. I don't know, could it help?

I don't feel pregnant (is this a farce?) because I don't have any obvious symptoms. And do you know what I did? I looked up signs of miscarriage - I mean, really... draw the line Nicole.

Otherwise, I'm not working a lot so I'm creating a threefold plan for my futur. How I wish I were working full time, I just can't cope with being at home half of the week anymore. Don't say I'm lucky, or I'll tackle you!
Oh, yeah, that's one thing I've noticed, I'm pretty cranky...

 

[workingttc]

Nicole! No research regarding miscarriage symptoms!

Shelby, 3 stepkids--do they live with you full time? How old are they? Sounds like a definite challenge!

Erica, I agree with Nicole's suggestion. In fact, I plan to try it myself if we hit the 6 month mark. My friend's sister (who is only 22 mind you) lied to her obgyn and said she'd been trying for a year after only one month! She got an IUI and was preggers immediately. I'm definitely not advocating that extreme of an approach, but I definitely think a little white lie to get a doctor to pay attention to you can't hurt. Probably you'll end up like Nicole and get pregnant that very cycle!!

I am vacillating on my BD plan (sorry, probably tmi). I don't want to count on tomorrow morning and then wake up and have DH be "too tired" or some such nonsense....so we'll see. You'll know by tomorrow from my chart

Have a lovely evening girls! I feel so blessed to have found you!!

 

[EMC0528]

Good morning girls,

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Maybe I should talk to the doctor and get an opinion on it. I haven't got my +opk yet this month, but I AF was a day late so maybe I'll get it this afternoon. I have been feeling a bit better since I exploded on Sunday night. Maybe now that it's all out I will be able to relax a little. HA! ya right

Shelby, being a step mom would be difficult on it's own, but trying for a family of your own as well would make it even harder.

Joanna I can't believe that about your friends sister. That's funny. What's an IUI? Is this something I should be asking for!!!

Nicole, what's your three fold plan?? I hope it includes blocking internet searches in relation to miscarriage I'm sure your symptoms will start showing, maybe some you don't even pick up on right away. As for being home a lot, I understand you wanting to work more. Toward the later part of my pregnancy I was home a lot more and I found myself getting bored. Just think of how busy you'll be soon with your little bundle of joy Have you decided to find out the sex of the baby?

Don't you guys wish we could all get together for lunch to discuss all these things in person!!!

I hope you all have a great day

 

[workingttc]

Yes! It would be so nice to chat in person with you ladies!

Erica, an IUI is an intrauterine insemnation (I think). I think it's where they inject hubby's sperm into your uterus directly, probably most useful for couples with a sperm issue. It seems pretty extreme to me, and I think my friend's sister is nutty. BUT, I do think there is no harm in talking to a doctor and if you have to lie and say you've been trying for a year to do it, I think that's a-ok! (As I said, this is my plan if we go past 6 months.)

Yes, Nicole, are you planning to find out the baby's sex? Also have you calculated the due date? What is the future plan?

Oh, and Erica my positive OPK was 4 days late last month...I think that's very normal. Changes in LP are more unusual than fluctuations in the follicular phase, which are common and nothing to worry about.

How about you Shelby? Any signs of OV yet?

 

[workingttc]

PS by lie and say you've been trying for a year to do it, I mean saying that just to get the doctor to listen to you (not to do an IUI ). Some doctors won't even take you seriously before a year, which I personally think is silly!

 

[pfab]

Hey girls,
I'm "most fertile" right now according to fertility friend, but I haven't ovulated yet. I haven't used an opk this month. Do you girls find OPKs to be really helpful? I have a bunch, but I stopped using them. I guess it's good for cross-checking. This cycle, I'm just focusing on charting which is super cool. I'm enjoying figuring out my ovulation dip and post ov spike. I have been tracking my cm too. If you look at my chart, I think everything looks like it's on target. I wish I knew about fertility friend many cycles ago, but I have to start somewhere! My dh and I have been bd'ing every other day.

Joanna, My step-kids are with us every weekend except for the 4th weekend each month. Then when school is out, we get them all summer except every other weekend when they're with their Mom. I feel so bad for them, but this is all they know. They were 3 and 1 when my dh and his ex divorced. Now, my dh's daughter is 8 (going on 9) and his boys are 6 going on 7 (twins). They're really good kids, but step-parenting is tough at times. As a teacher, I'm off in the summer, so I'm looking forward to bonding more with them.

So, you girls were talking about dr visits. I have my annual and fertility visit in June. I'm thinking about telling my dr that I have been trying for almost a year even though it's only been since January. My dh doesn't think I should do that. This same dr knows I was ttc with my ex, and she knows we tried for a year. Also, do they factor in age? I'm getting older by the day and so are my eggs!!!

Anyway, how is everyone??? Nicole, no symptoms is a sign that all is good!!! Try to shift your thoughts to things like preparing for baby stuff!!! Embrace it girl!!! You are pregnant!!! Sorry for the cheesy, cheerleader tone!

Erica and Joanna...I'm so excited for the tww!!!

Shelby

 

[EMC0528]

Good morning ladies!

I got my +opk this morning. It's actually good that it happened a bit late this month because I was super naseaus and probably wouldn't have been much in the mood the last few days. DH has felt the same way, must have been a little flu bug. I also wrote my final exam yesterday so I'm off for a few months. That's a relief for me. Now I can relax a little and look forward to the summer.

Joanna it's been 2 days since your +opk right? you've probably ovulated. You are now in the TWW! Shelby you've ovulated by now too right?

Wouldn't it be awesome if the remaining 3 of us got our BFP's together this month.....chances are slim I think but hey, you never know!

Have a great day girls

 

[workingttc]

Good morning!

Erica, great news on the +opk! As an aside, I've heard the later you OV (within reason of course) the better your chances of a BFP because you've given the uterine lining more time to build up for successful implantation. So a little late is better!

It looks like I OV'd yesterday. Temp was way up this morning, so as long as it stays up for 2 more days, it's looking good.

Shelby, wow - twins! That sounds like a lot, even if they're not with you guys full time!! That's great that you'll have some time this summer to spend with them. What grade do you teach? Nicole is a teacher too! In response to your question about age and fertility checks, my understanding is if you're over 35, you're supposed to get checked out after 6 months, instead of a year. I'm going to be 34 this December (horrifying!!) so I figure that's close enough - we're getting checked if we make it past 6 months!

Nicole, hope all is well with your beanie today (and with future planning!!)

Have a good day girls!!

 

[anetha]

Shelby, I love the cheerleader tone when it's that positive! Gimme a B - A - B - Y! Glad you're enjoying the temping, I advise taking a few OPK tests if you want to have a better chance at pinpointing Ov before it's too late, but it sounds like you're doing everything right, so why go overboard?

Erica, I'd looove to get together, it would be so much fun! I can just see us drinking NON-alcoholic drinks together, and staying in the shade under a tall tree, a lovely picnic laid out in front of us - our Dhs running around for us, haha!

Everything is possible right now. Are you sure about the late Ov theory Joanna? Is that how it happened for me? I thought we built up lining during the second half of our cycle...

Kisses

 

[workingttc]

I think it helps with both preparing the lining and having better quality eggs, but you're right, the lining mainly develops post-OV.

I am soooooo sick of work right now. Have been spending way too much time on this site. But I figure that's better than on-line shopping right? At least cheaper!

 

[anetha]

Liking your chart by the way!
What are you planning to unwind tonight? Dining out maybe?

Don't you find my french ticker's pic a little... disturbing? Or is it just me?????

 

[workingttc]

LOL Nicole - your french ticker is HILARIOUS. perhaps it's just what i have on the brain but somehow it resembles a p*^%s to me. i much prefer the english "appleseed" image.

glass of wine or a beer for me for sure. must celebrate that i seem to have OV'd, right?

how are you feeling?

 

[EMC0528]

It definitely looks like a p****!! HAHA

Joanna, good to hear you're gonna celebrate! We need that unwind time, takes some of the pressure off.

I'm sitting back with DH both with our books in hand and a glass of wine. Feeling so much more relaxed today girls. He doesn't know it yet, but we'll be moving to the bedroom soon. We put Dom to bed early because he was SO tired from playing outside so I'm thinking we'll take advantage of it

Nicole, you feeling good? I'm thinking of you often. I remember how those early days felt thinking about my little beanie growing. I am so thrilled for you.

 

[pfab]

Nicole,
Your French ticker is awesome! It's like the perfect combo of an alien and male anatomy! So interesting! It's a *&^is baby. Joanna said you're a teacher too! What grade/subject? I teach high school English. I've taught all grades from 9th to 12th. This year, I have mostly 11th with a mixed bag in my Creative Writing course. Good times!!

Joanna and Erica, I'm pretty sure I ovulated today. Today was day 14 for me. It would be 15, but I changed it because I was counting spotting. My temp went up a bit today, so we'll see what happens tomorrow. My biggest fear is that I am anovulatory.

I'm all for meeting with you girls one of these days!!! Without trying to sound like a broken record, I am sooooooooooooooo thankful for being introduced to this website and for joining this thread!!!

Shelby

 

[workingttc]

Good morning!

Shelby, your chart looks good, definitely not anovulatory! There's a very clear shift, and to the extent those early high temps during AF distract you, you can ignore them because temps are very unpredictable during AF. 3DPO already--so exciting!

Erica, your evening sounds lovely! What are you reading? I've just started "Unbroken" for my book club. It's by the author of "Seabiscuit" and it's about a WWII pilot, non-fiction I believe. Not what I'd typically choose but so far a definite page turner.

So we should all be in the tww at this point? Nicole, hope you're well too--I can't wait to see your ticker change from the appleseed to whatever is next--I assume it changes each week?

 

[EMC0528]

Good morning girls!

Shelby, I'm glad to hear you think you ovulated, you are officially in the TWW. I think I am due to ovulate today because I had +opk yesterday morning and a -opk today. That should put the 3 of us girls pretty close together for testing.

Anyone have anything interesting planned for this weekend? We have supper with DH's work buddy on sat night and other than that we're staying pretty close to home I think. I might do some yoga or try to get out running. I have been so lazy lately and it's really not helping me drop these last 10 lbs. I'm trying to stay fit, and eat well but I really have no will power!!

Anyway, I guess that's a little off topic, just ranting I guess

Have a great day girls. Nicole, I'm curious to know if you've had any more "symptoms" pop up