33 and looking for early/mid 30s buddy

[workingttc]

That makes sense - I'm sure I'd hold off as well. Really, I don't see any need to test early even if you haven't just gone through an experience like yours. Hang in there.

I was just thinking the same thing about how hard this all is. I should probably stop reading as much on here, because I find it so upsetting when I see girls complaining about how hard TTC is when they're on their second month, or when it took them only 2 months to get pregnant. I just read some girl's journal where she said she thought that God had answered her prayers because her baby had a heartbeat at 6 weeks, and God must have known how hard this had been her. She got pregnant on her 2nd month. I mean, seriously???? Does this mean God doesn't care about the rest of us? Or aout people like me who might have endo? Of course not. I really wish people were just more sensitive sometimes. But of course I don't want to begrudge them their happiness. I'm sure having gone through a recent loss, you find it even more frustrating. I worry I'm becoming bitter, which I definitely do not want to be! SORRY FOR THE RANT, REALLY.

 

[EMC0528]

ohhhhhhh Joanna!!!! I am so so so with you about the getting frustrated when I see things like that.

I totally feel the same way. I would NEVER begrudge someone their happiness. It's just so hard when you try to stay positive despite all the difficulties along the way and then you see how easy it is for some and they think they have it so hard!

Rant away....it may just be one of those days

I think of how naive I was when I started this process (despite having a child already). I thought it was going to be so easy! When I got pregnant with Dom it was so easy! I told everyone, there was no fear of miscarriage or anything, it never even crossed my mind!! Boy have my eyes been opened!! This is super tough. I'm so so glad we have each other!!!!

 

[workingttc]

That is totally it! I don't care if people have it easy, I'm happy for them - it's when they have it easy and they complain that it's been hard! But I have to remember they just have no idea.

Ok, feeling better. Thanks so much Erica! I DO NOT know what I'd do withou you girls!

 

[pfab]

Hey girls!
I'm right there with you on being frustrated when I hear how some girls have "struggled" to get pregnant...for two months. It's ridiculous.

I've talked to my Mom a lot about this, and I have moments where I think none of this is fair. Why is it so hard for us???? My own mother-in-law made a comment the other day about a woman who couldn't have children...she said, "God punished her by not allowing her to have a child." I know she didn't mean to offend me, but I was thinking...am I being punished by God? I can't believe that this is God's plan.

So, my Mom said, "It's not fair that you are having such a hard time, but why not you?" I understand what she means. I am no better than any other woman out there, and I, like every human, will face challenges. This is mine. It makes sense, but sometimes, I just want to scream.

Another thing that is infuriating is when my cousin says, "Enjoy your freedom now because once you have a baby, you won't have any." Really??? Really??? You don't think I know that??? I don't care about losing my freedom!!! I am well aware of the time and effort I will put forth when I have a baby. In fact, I look forward to it! Then if a baby or kid has a temper tantrum, someone will say, "Are you sure you want to deal with this?" YES!!!! I want to "deal" with that!!!! Ugh!!!

Then...
My neighbor is in her 20s or 30s, lives with her parents, and is a mother. She is a disgrace. She has a 3-4 year old daughter. The poor little girl is kept inside the house until about 9 pm when she is brought outside to play. Some nights, she plays in the driveway or cul de sac at 11pm. I never see her at normal hours...even on the weekend. The cops have been to the house at least 3 times since we moved in (in October) for domestic violence disputes...sister vs sister, daughter vs dad, daughter vs mom. Also, she's been arrested for drugs and theft. When she has her little girl outside at night, the Mom is on her cell phone the entire time. It's so bad that she's known around the neighborhood as the woman who talks on her cellphone while walking her little girl at night. Anyway, I see this going on, and my heart breaks for that little girl. My heart breaks for all the women who would love to be a mother. I've heard her scream at the little girl. She speeds off all the time with the little one in the back seat. It's just horrific to watch. So, why does she get to be a Mom?

Sorry for this long-winded message, but I just want you girls to know that I thank God or the makers of this site (haha) every single day for allowing us to discuss these things. It feels so much better knowing that I'm not alone.

 

[workingttc]

Terrible comment by your MIL, Shelby!! And I hate those types of comments you mention about "enjoying our freedom"! I've had freedom for 33 years! I'm freakin over it!

Nicole, hopefully we haven't scared you away with all of this ranting I hope telling everyone has been super fun and that you are feeling good.

Shelby and Erica, good things will come for us, I know it! This thread is long due for a sticky BFP!!

 

[pfab]

I agree Joanna! We are long overdue for a bfp!!! I'm not sure if I even ovulated now. On Monday, my temp was 96.89, but it had been the same for a few days, so I decided to take my temp again right after that one. The second temp was 97 something. I had recorded the 97 one on my chart, but today, I decided to go back to the first temp. I'm not sure which one I should go with. So, now it says that ov hasn't been detected. I think it looks like I oved on day 15. Who knows. I had definite + opks.

 

[workingttc]

I think you've clearly ovulated, likely on CD15. My guess is that FF is waiting for one more high temp tomorrow and then they'll give you cross-hairs saying you ovulated on CD 16. Maybe try using a different ovulation detection method - switch it to "fertility awareness" and see if that changes the result. But I think you definitely did, and FF is just being lame. It's been weird with mine the last two charts too!

DH "deposited" his sperm today. If either of your DHs ever need to do this (doubtful, since they both already have kiddos), just know that it is super super easy - so much easier than what we have to go through!!

 

[EMC0528]

hey girls.

Joanna, everytime you say "make a deposit" it makes me giggle.

Shelby, your mom saying "why not you?" is really insightful. I actually said to DH a few different times during the miscarriage that God wouldn't give us more than we could handle. We can endure anything we have to in order to get that BFP!!

I am hoping the stars align for all of us this month.

 

[pfab]

Hi!
Joanna, thanks for the deposit info! I hope everything checks out! When will you know?

Erica, I couldn't agree more. I believe that everything happens for a reason. We may not like what happens, but maybe there is a reason for it. This process is beyond all of us; we can only do so much, the rest is up to luck and God.

I'm at the point where next cycle I'm just going to bd a ton from now on and not pay attention to charting, etc.

girls!

 

[anetha]

Hi girls! I'm back! I'm sorry to hear you are all going through a rough patch. About women being worried after 2 months... on the other side of the spectrum, I still can't stand hearing: "It was easy for me, I'm very fertile". So that means there are winners and losers?!??? Excuse-me, WHO the F..reakin hell do you think you ARE?
Sorry... I just get so mad thinking about it!

Joanna, I have a introverted uterus, but I've known since I was 14, so maybe the doctor saw something else that made him think of endometriosis? Gosh, I hope you don't have to go through an operation. Any results from Dh's sample?

Erica, Shelby, big and stay strong like you have up until now!



I'm doing fine by the way! No more hormone attacks, thank god...

 

[workingttc]

Nicole! So nice to have you back! Any plans for a babymoon yet? As far as the retroverted uterus, it's very common to be like you, and have it your whole life. His concern is that if I haven't, it could be due to endo. But no one knows if I have or not. Just talked to my gyno this morning, who I've been seeing since I was 20 or so, and she said she doesn't know, and she would not have marked it on my chart if I had, because it's just no big deal. Unless it means you have endo of course! Soooo, we shall see. I don't think my new doc saw anything else that made him think it was endo, but for some women, the only symptom they have is difficulty getting preggers...so that's what I'm scared of. Glad to hear you're doing well!!

 

[pfab]

Hi Nicole! I'm glad you're doing well!!!!!! Keep giving us updates!!!

Joanna, I'm sure you're going to be fine. You'll have your baby one way or another!!!!!!!

I am sooOooooooo not stressing about ttc this month! I had sushi today and I'm having martinis with the neighbors tonight! Is that being reckless? I really don't want to stress out anymore!!!

Have a great weekend!!! Anything planned???

 

[anetha]

I say go girl!!! Have a martini, sushi and whatever else is supposedly dangerous. This is no cause for concern, I assure you! Make YOU happy first!!!

Joanna, keep us posted!!!

 

[EMC0528]

Shelby I totally agree with Nicole. We get so wrapped up in what's the "right" things to do when ttc, it stresses me out even more.

Since the miscarriage I've been eating and drinking what I want. I'm trying to live life as I would if I weren't ttc. Enjoy yourself this weekend!!

I am working today but yesterday I took Dom to Calaway park (an amusement park) and had his cousin come with us. Tonight I am having a sister-date. My sister's husband is out of town so I'm gonna bring Dom over and we're gonna let the kids play while we eat and drink

I hope you guys are all doing something that will make you happy this weekend and take your mind off the tww!

Take care girls

 

[workingttc]

Hi ladies.

Hope everyone's weekend was lovely. Mine was a bit hectic - multiple family gatherings and a full day of errands yesterday - but otherwise good. Erica, I hope you enjoyed you're nite with your sis - that sounded great. And Shelby I hope the martinis tasted fabulous. Drank some wine both nights this weekend and a mimosa at brunch this morning, so hopefully that won't hurt my chances this month.

Definitely not feeling very positive ever since my doctor's appointment. Decided to keep temping just because if this ends up being a longer process for us, I think the doctor will want more data. Just want this week to go by quickly. AF is due Saturday.

 

[pfab]

Hey girls!
I sooooooooooooooooooooooo enjoyed my martinis and wine! I actually drank in excess. I'm not hopeful this month, and I'm not doubtful. I'm somewhere in the middle. It's hard to explain. It's exhausting when I get so hopeful and feel pregnant every single month. This month, I feel nothing. I'm not even stalking my temps and charts...as much...



Joanna, it's good to be armed with information when you speak with your dr again.

Erica, how was your girls' night? I hope it went well!!!

Nicole, you have a peach now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woooooo hooooooo! That's so cool!

to you girls!

 

[EMC0528]

Good morning!

Joanna it would be hard to stay positive. I really believe all will be ok though!

Shelby I had a GREAT time at my sister's. We laughed, we cried, we ate 10lbs of food and drank also in excess a little. Hehe, it's honestly exactly what I needed. Glad you aren't temping. I have been waiting for AF to show, no temping and no opk's for now and honestly dh and I are having the best time. We're just whenever the mood strikes and we're feeling so much more connected. After AF shows I will still use opk's but I feel so much more relaxed about everything right now. I hope it lasts!

Nicole, you're peach must be a bump by now! When I was preggers with Dom I thought I was "showing" at 8 weeks.....I didn't know about it being behind your pelvic bone....looking back I was just getting fat!

Have a good day girls

 

[pfab]

Erica,
I am so glad you feel better and had a great evening with your sis! Btw, I'm still temping...just not stalking my chart!

However, if you girls want to see my chart, I may have had an implantation dip. It's very similar to the dip I had during my chemical pregnancy. I'm hoping it's not a chem pregnancy again though. I'm trying to not get too excited. Plus I had a very stressful day, so I'm hoping the stress hasn't ruined anything.

Joanna, how are you???

Erica????

 

[workingttc]

Shelby, I saw your dip and had the exact same thought!! Crossing my fingers and toes it's implantation! I'd start testing soon and if you get a BFP, go right in to your doc. Could be, since you had spotting with your chemical, that the problem there was low progesterone. If you go in right away this time, maybe you can get a prescription and this one will stick! So hopeful for you!!

Erica, your evening with your sis makes me miss mine! They're in Mexico right now on a vacation. I am so jealous, but couldn't swing it with work.

I'm status quo today. Nothing to read into my chart really. For me, the key seems to be if my temp stays up on 12DPO and beyond. It seems to always go down then, so if it doesn't I'll really get my hopes up. Hoping to make an appointment with my FS for next week to go over DH's SA results (which we should have by the end of this week if I'm not too scared to call and get them) and my CD3 bloods. Maybe I'll get my BFP and that appointment can be for that, though!!

 

[pfab]

Hey Joanna! Your temps are so interesting in that they have the same pattern, but each month tends to be higher than the previous one. This past cycle is a little different though. You can see it taking a slightly different turn. Who knows what this means, but that's what I've noticed with yours! There's your English teacher analysis for the day!

I'm praying that your dh's sperm is fine. I'm sure it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How is he doing? Is he nervous? You both could use some good news!

I'm hoping I have implantation. I think I'll stock up on some tests...going to dollar store now. I sort of feel sick at my stomach right now, but I think it's just my nerves.

I'm trying so hard to not get my hopes up or to not obsess at this point. It's so hard.