38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Pothole]

MDC, big love from the East Coast! I'm about to braid my hair so I have one more thing crossed for you; I'm running out of fingers!

Wish, I have no idea if it would help or not. But I'd try just about anything. Plus, if the cm is thinner, maybe the speculum and catheter will have an easier time going in. Maybe? Oh please?

Left, it's been an easy month so far! Femara and I get along so much better than Clomid and I did. Just looking forward to Wednesday's follicle scan!

 

[Mdc]

Thanks for the braiding pothole.

 

[Mdc]

Not sure if this will work, because I had to copy and paste a couple images. However too funny not to try.

So vagina what is it going to be this month?

 

[elliecain]

Can't see anything mdc. What did you post?
Your temps are so steady... Mine are all over the place, even though I set an alarm and temp at 6.30 every morning, they just keep going up and down! Are you going to poas today? I wouldn't be able to resist. I'm determined to wait until Wednesday, the day I have an initial appointment at the hospital and the day before AF is due. (Edit: I've just seen your temp today, really hope it's just a random dip xxx)

I'm going insane this cycle! I feel like I've invested so much more emotionally this month, with trying various new things (temping, SMEP, soft cups, preseed, legs up) and being off work for 2ww means I've had so much more time to think about it all. DH says he's feeling like I'm putting him under too much pressure whenever I talk about it. I think he wants it as much as me, but doesn't want to make me even more upset if AF arrives. He did blow raspberries on my tummy this morning and, when I said last night that I felt like this was the month, he agreed...

His step mother Sue, whom I'm very close to, lives in La Palma and she sent me an email yesterday saying that her cleaning lady told her she would be an abuela soon DH's dad died just before we got married and he is his only child (Sue has none of her own). We are going over to stay with her the week after next and I'm desperate to be able to give her good news. DH says she was never very maternal when he was growing up, but I know she'd love to have a grandchild.

Right, I'm going to find a distraction for today. No more sitting around moping and symptom spotting! xxx

 

[Wish2BMom]

mdc - and you're not out yet. Trying to preemptively strike here...

ellie - it's so hard to NOT think about this constantly when you have nothing else to do. I have had some slow months at work and those have been the worst times when it comes to obsessing about TTC. Googling everything, wondering everything, paying wayyyyy too close attention to the pings and pangs of my body. Good job trying to find a distraction! I hope all of your feelings and the housekeeper's premonition come true!

 

[Mdc]

Darn, it would have been so much funnier if you saw the picture together with the quote. Ha. Not easy to upload photos on this site!

Ellie, I am usually all over the place to, but my only saving grace is I temp vaginally. All the sudden in my advanced maternal age I am a mouth breather when I sleep. DH's overall do not understand the TWW stress, but your DH sounds like he is still engaged at least with raspberries When do you test?

Wish, yes I was kind of prepared for a drop because I was early in temping, but still above the cover line (even if I remove the super low temp) so who knows. Although my chart overlay is not looking too promising.

However I felt a little more on and off dull cramps and a little nauseous last night, so either I am crazy (high probability ), or my body is subtly trying to give me clues. I guess only time and Dr. Google will tell...

Trying to stay positive, but also realistic. If not this month on to medicated turkey blaster month two!

 

[Mdc]

Wish, gl with the blood draw today!

 

[Pothole]

I woke up with pain on my left side. Really hoping the Femara is growing all kinds of goodness in there. I don't know why I'm so anxious. I had great results last time. But I've gotten myself so hyped up for the iui that now the doubts are creeping in. I am just so afraid that I'll go Wednesday and they'll not see anything worth trying for.

It's the waits that wear my nerves. Your period starts, you wait 3 days then start your meds. Then you wait till cd 12 for the ultra sound, then iui or timed, you wait till cd 21 to find out if you even ovulated. And since that's about halfway through your tww...you wait. Meanwhile, DH has done his bit and is ready to move on to proper fun sex without the schedule or the leg propping, and he can't understand why your nerves are shot and you spend extra time in the WC examining your boobs for even the slightest tinge of swelling or soreness and you think dear god, man if you knew what I went through for this! And yet for all the blood drawn and labs run and moments where your feet were sprawled up in the air with various people staring up your nether regions, if this does all actually work; you will be someone's mum. And that beautiful perfect little someone will never know what madness you endured. And so innocent, so pure, that tiny little human you created...will still say "Dada", first.

Whew. That was unexpected. And rather cathartic, actually. I feel a bit better now.

 

[Wish2BMom]

HAHA - you could be crazy but I like your kind of crazy! I am also happy to hear that you still have the dull coming and going cramping. I hope so hard that this is it. Also, my nurse would yell at you for even mentioning Dr. Google!!

thanks for the luck. I know it's a crazy long shot and I'm nuts for even thinking of being preg so soon, but I've just been lightheaded again this week and my stomach has been nutty a few days this week, no matter what I eat. Also, I had this super weird hungover feeling for around 3 days. Sunday's was legit (day after concert) but the Mon and Tues as well. It was so weird. But the boobs aren't sore and no cramping or anything, so I highly doubt it. Hopefully AF will come next week sometime and we can get this party sorta restarted.

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh pothole, that was wonderful! every word of it, so so true....

 

[elliecain]

It's the waits that wear my nerves. Your period starts, you wait 3 days then start your meds. Then you wait till cd 12 for the ultra sound, then iui or timed, you wait till cd 21 to find out if you even ovulated. And since that's about halfway through your tww...you wait. Meanwhile, DH has done his bit and is ready to move on to proper fun sex without the schedule or the leg propping, and he can't understand why your nerves are shot and you spend extra time in the WC examining your boobs for even the slightest tinge of swelling or soreness and you think dear god, man if you knew what I went through for this! And yet for all the blood drawn and labs run and moments where your feet were sprawled up in the air with various people staring up your nether regions, if this does all actually work; you will be someone's mum. And that beautiful perfect little someone will never know what madness you endured. And so innocent, so pure, that tiny little human you created...will still say "Dada", first.

Whew. That was unexpected. And rather cathartic, actually. I feel a bit better now.

Oh Pothole, that was so perfectly written! Even without the iui bits, you described my month to a T. Waiting, doing, waiting, hoping. The yearning and the hoping and the pain. I'm really sad that others have to feel this too, but also it is reassuring to read that I'm not alone in this. We're maybe all a bit crazy, but it's not really surprising and at least we can be crazy together.

Mdc, now I see the images... lol It really is a case of one or the other. All we can think about is which one of those will be the result of all this... FX xxx

 

[Wish2BMom]

mdc - hahaha I see them too, you're so funny

ugh - just got the blood work results back. Stillllll lingering above 1 (3.55 today) so I have to be pricked again next week. Annoying.

 

[Star2011]

Hello Ladies,

Its been a while since i have been here. Just alot have been happening in my life that made it impossible to log on here.

Mdc- am rooting for you! I cant wait for that bfp! Am excited!

Wish- Dang! Wish the #s could go down. GL next week. You are almost there.

Pothole- l hear you. ... I agree with your last post, well said/ written

Dandi- am glad scan went well.

Everyone else hello and baby dust. Welcome new ladies.

Afm: Dont know where to start. I have been MIA due some family issues. Dh and i have been sick with Bronchitis for about a week. We also had a death in the family at the same time, dh uncle passed away. During the same week i found out my younger sister who is 36 is pregnant and she has been on the pill( mind you she has a 14 and a 9 yr). She is 9 weeks now has been keeping it from me because she didnt know how i would react. The pregnancy news kind of made me happy and depressed at the same time. Made me be mad at her and wishing it was me and not her. Such bad feelings to have on your only sister but i couldnt help it. Am good now though. I have accepted that she is pregnant and i should be happy for her. On ttc , we only DTD a few times randomly this cycle because of us being sick and coughing a storm all the time. I am not holding my breath for anything this cycle, unless a miracle happens. Had an appt with my ob today and he suggested i should go straight to IVF because of the blocked tube and my fibroids. He told me straight up: " dont wast time, you are 38 and not 28". Thought that was harsh! But its true anyway. We have a consultation appt with a RE next month. We will see. This is my life story for the last 2 wks i was MIA.

Hope you all have a good wkd!

 

[Mdc]

Pothole, I almost choked on my water when I read that!

Wish, ugh! That sucks. When is the next blood draw?

Star, so sorry for all that you are going through! It does suck that even if you want to be happy sometime it is alright to feel mad/upset (trust me I have lots of times before). That is why we are all hear to vent and let it all hang out and not feel bad! Sounds like you are in a good place though. I hope you get a surprise BFP and if not the RE can make a plan to get you big fat and preggo!

to everyone.

 

[Dandi]

Boy this thread is moving so fast lately with all our new members. I love it, lots to catch up on.

I'm sorry that you're dealing with that Star. It's such a terrible feeling to A) feel that "why you, and not me?" thing that we all feel, and B) then have to deal with the guilt when your rationale self knows it's unfair to feel that bitterness toward a friend or loved one. I know that cycle so well. Ugh! Hang in there and good luck with the RE appointment next month!

Mdc, you almost gave me a heart attack with your funny picture. I was scrolling so fast all I saw was the pregnant test and I thought you had finally given in and tested early were making an announcement! LOL! Don't play with my emotions like that.

Wish, I hate that you're still not where you need to be. Did the doctor say why it may be taking so long for your levels to get back to normal? Remind me though, it has come down significantly from last time though right?

Not much going on here. 9dpo, but with all this testing and the drs appts for DH and myself, I haven't even really thought about the tww this go round. I guess part of it is because I feel like there's no way I'm pregnant this month with the thyroid and testosterone issues that have been identified. It's lead to the most zen tww all year though, lol! I'm about to lose my patience with DH though because it's been a week now and he still hasn't called to even set up an appt for his first SA. Every time I ask him to call he gets this tone in his voice that drives me batty. He keeps saying that he's super busy at work and isn't sure when he'll be able to get away, but I know that's not the case. He's putting it off so long that it's probably going to interfere with BDing during my next fertile time. So now I'm mad at him about that and about the fact that he feels no sense of urgency to get his part done. I leave Sunday for a work trip and the timing couldn't be more perfect. I need some distance and perspective before I go crazy ttc lady all over him. Men!

 

[Mdc]

OOOOOOOMMMMMMGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! Break out the sparkling cider!
Guess my vagina decided for the pregnant route!
So even though I said I would not be disappointed if the temp was down this morning, well you guessed it, I was bummed. Told DH that I could not wait anymore and just had to test today. So of course, I true form mdc style, I go to get a FRER out of the cabinet and all out. Seriously! I have like 50 opks and no FRER. Had a digi, but scared to waste it because I heard it is not as sensitive. So off to CVS I went to get a test, and with my 4 hour hold since FMU trust me it was not fun So when I took the test I saw the infamous second line in like 30 seconds and busted out the digi.
Thank you all for the listening, supporting, advise, and laughs during this crazy process. You have no idea what it has meant to me.
So I was keeping track of things in FF as notes because I thought I was going insane. I did notice a couple other things outside of dull cramps and frequent urination. The last couple of days I got full pretty fast after eating (like full up into my esophagus), a little nauseated here and there (very subtle), and the weirdest one the cats! This is when I thought I was really going crazy. My cats have been around me non-stop I was getting annoyed. In fact one female just had to sit on my lap while I was at my desk. Oh yeah, and his male cat decided he was now going to spray. Fun times!
Trust me I never thought this time would come, but it did and it will for everyone.
So hear is to a sticky bean, guess PMA really did help me.

 

[Dandi]

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS! I just knew this was your month! I am so so so very happy for you!

 

[Wish2BMom]

WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MDC!!!!!!!!!! OMG, I CANNOT WIPE THE SMILE OFF MY FACE!!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! HOLY SH*T!!!!

 

[Wish2BMom]

star - I think we've all totally been where you are. A good friend of mine announced her 3rd pregnancy earlier this year and I really couldn't bring myself to be more than only a little happy for them. I mean, she told me and another friend when they were going to try, how they were going to try b/c she was reading up on 'how to have a boy' b/c they already had 2 girls. Well damn if she didn't get preg right away with a boy. I felt so guilty for feeling this way but I couldn't help it. It's already tough to be excited 3 times for the same person, let alone having the ease of gender selection and actually getting pregnant presented at the same time.
...So I threw her a shower.

dandi - i hear you about the distance needs sometimes! I have no idea how they can't feel the same sense in urgency. They know we're not getting any younger too! i'm glad you're having a zen TWW, though, and are able to focus on fixing the things that need fixin'!
nah, my numbers are on a slow decline now but I guess I can O once I get under 5. Here's how they went:
6/30 - D&C, don't know what my numbers were then
7/7 - down to 321 (would think this was a quick drop)
7/16 - 19
7/24 - 3.55
so next appt is 7/31. I'd assume we'll be down to 0 or at least under 1 by then. People haven gotten AF when it's been under 10, so hopefully that won't slow that up at all. I guess taking a month to get down to zero should be expected.

 

[Dandi]

That's true, I guess that's a pretty normal progression. I didn't get bloods to check my levels after my D&C, and that's probably a good thing because I would have been obsessing over them. But I did get my next period 5 weeks and 1 day after, so that's probably about how long it took.