38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[elliecain]

***Warning... I'm starting to go batty and haven't slept much so this post is probably worth ignoring!***

It's 5.30am here and I've been awake since 4.15am. We went to bed late, around 2... This is not good. I can't seem to stay asleep, my nose is stuffy and I'm too hot. I'm trying to be positive about this and hopeful this is pregnancy related, but right now I just feel like my period will be with me tomorrow, as expected. I'm on the verge of tears and don't know what to do with myself, so I thought I'd vent here!

I can't even use my temps to help me, because I had to take it when I woke at 4.15 then used https://www.whenmybaby.com/basalbodytemperature.php to adjust it for normal time. Although that makes it look ok, the fact is I only had 2 hours' sleep so it doesn't mean anything anyway!

I'm really glad I have an appointment today, as I am likely to climb the walls and do lots of hpts today otherwise. I was going to ask if they'd do a blood test, but I expect they won't because I'm not even due af until tomorrow. I'll do one hpt with smu in a few hours (if I can continue lying in bed unable to sleep) and then leave it. Even if it's negative, it's still early days because I had a possible implantation dip on Sunday... see, I can do PMA!

Edit: bfn

 

[Wish2BMom]

dandi - oh dear, I hope it's not a fibroid! but I'm kinda glad that you have an inkling of what might be going on. Since you have had one before, can you get an appt to look into it ASAP? i'd hate for you to go on guessing, get involved with an RE full steam ahead and then HOLD UP, we have fibroids! Also - well done on getting DH to step up for the SAs!!! I wouldn't even call that a guilt trip - you did what you could to push him and it hadn't worked so now it was up to him. I'm glad he came around quickly!! Good job, Mr. Dandi! I so wish for you that you could cozy up in the hotel room and just stay there for a day or two.

ellie - you are driving yourself bonkers, hon!! I really have my fingers crossed for you to get your BFP over the next couple of days but it is NOT the end of the world if you don't this month!! There will be another fresh month, new tries, pathways to fertility assistance - there is a whole world of help or opportunity in front of you that will be there for you if you need it. Please try to relax! You WILL have your little one in your arms in the future! Being so wound up if you have a LO trying to wriggle it's bum into your lining isn't going to help anyway - zen, girl! ALL meant with love and hugs !!!

 

[Pothole]

Oh Ellie. You are breaking my heart. I wish I had a sure fire way to help you feel less stressed. I am so impressed by your pma, I know it's a lot of work to maintain. I'm sending you calm thoughts and big hugs.

I had my follicle scan today. I have a 17, an 18, and a 19 all on the left. We are a go for iui. I will be giving myself the novarel shot at 8:30 tonight. DH goes to do his bit at 7:30 Friday morning, then my part is at 8:30. I am nervous but wildly excited.

I've posted all of these numbers at various points throughout my time on bnb; but I wanted them all in one place at least once so I have them as reference.
April 2015: Clomid/0 Left side-15,16 Right side/no trigger/no progesterone test
May 2015: Clomid/19 Left-11 Right/next day trigger/8.2 progesterone
June 2015: Femara/15, 22, 23 Left-22 Right/same day trigger/22.7 progesterone
July 2015: Femara/17, 18, 19 Left-0 Right/ same day trigger...to be continued

The way the dates fell, it looks sequential, but we took a cycle off between the June and July tries.

Any thoughts or tips for the iui?

 

[Wish2BMom]

WOOOOOOOO pothole!!! I'm so excited for you!!!

I say follow mdc's line of thinking and BD the night of or day after too! kind of a 2nd 'iui' GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[elliecain]

Thank you for reading and responding to my ridiculous post! Thankfully the nurse talked some sense into me and I'm going to focus on
a) spending quality time with dh on holiday in the Canaries for the next 2 weeks (we go on Monday),
b) the appointments and procedures set up for when I return.
I have that bloated, crampy, water retaining feeling. AF will be here tomorrow for sure Trying really hard not to fall apart, but I'm so emotional today!!!

Pothole, I have no idea what the numbers mean, but it sounds like good news and I'm really pleased for you. I hope the iui goes very well! Good luck with your injection tonight xxx

 

[Dandi]

Good luck Pothole! I'm really hope this is it for you!

Ellie, I'm hoping you can find some Zen girl! You're going to drive yourself insane if not. This thread actually helped me find my calm place after a while. I hope it's the same for you! PMA and Zen thoughts girlie. If it doesn't happen this morning, it just means you have a fresh start for a new better month, usually with more knowledge than you had the previous cycle. You're going to get there, we all are.

I got my thyroid ultrasound results and I have two nodules. The nurse just said he wanted me to come back for another ultrasound in 6 months and that the Dr said nothing about putting me on any meds for the anti- tpo antibodies. I'm pretty frustrated about it. I feel like they're being really dismissive about it. I think I n have a plan in place though. I'm going to switch gynos again (I had gone back to my hometown doc when I got pregnant I january, but it's an hour and a half drive from work and not very convenient for lots of visits, so I'm switching back to the Dr I was seeing locally), get in asap for an ultrasound to check the size of the fibroid, if all is well ask for a referral to RE, have thyroid results forwarded to RE and go from there.

DH was a trooper with SA this morning. He was sending me pics of "the champagne room" as he was calling it, and all the weird things they had in there, lol. One down, two to go!

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, hope the fibroids are not interfering, but glad you are getting them checked out. I agree I would have the RE look at the labs for your thyroid. Sometimes even though they levels or antibodies are fine for most people but when TTC things need to be a little more perfect. Glad your are being your own advocate! Lol about the 'champagne room' sounds like DH is taking it in stride!

Ellie, I know how stressful this can be and how hard PMA is to keep up, but I agree with Wish....you will have your LO in your arms. If AF shows up let yourself be sad and then get excited for next month's opportunities. Go enjoy your lovely holiday! I have always wanted to go to the Canaries! You will have to post some pictures!

Pothole, what great follies! I am SO excited for you. I don't have much advice about the IUI because we did not trigger. If you were going natural I would suggest a double IUI because O is less predictable. I didn't not BD right before or after the IUI because DH was shattered after two back to back samples (poor guy), but if your DH is up for it go for it I did lay the requisite time (10 min) after the IUI and the second time she did lower the top of the bed so my head was lower than my hips...and brought in a cute baby picture for me to focus on (sweet of her). After that I did some fertility yoga (15 min) most days, and listened to some fertility meditation (both helped me not stress too much). Then I just decided this was our time and we did everything we could to make our little embie. I have a good feeling about you this month! Fingers crossed for you!!!

Hi to everyone else!

 

[Pothole]

Thanks everyone! I will take that advice! If DH is up for it, we'll BD like newlyweds!
Ellie, here's a key to the number rundown:
Fertility drug/size follicle and side it's on/novarel ovulation trigger shot if applicable/progesterone level on cd 21
I took sex ed (albeit in a Catholic boarding school) and my mum is a nurse. And still I was more than a bit confused by all the bits and pieces and what they all do. The ladies here have a wealth of knowledge and they taught me more in a few weeks than I had pieced together in the previous 6 months.
Essentially, I have 3 follicles on the left side (which is my unblocked side) that are mature or close to it. That means potentially 3 eggs released this month which increases my chances that a sperm will meet something worth investigating.

In my RE'S office, you start your med on cd 3 for 5 days. On cd 12 (today) you get a vaginal ultrasound to measure follicle growth. If they are in the proper range, an ovulation trigger shot is administered to induce ovulation within 24-36 hours. If you are going the iui route (our first time) you trigger 36 hours before your procedure. You go back on cd 21 to have a progesterone check. 10+ is what you want to see for strong ovulation. I may have left things out, but if you ask, I'll tell you anything have an answer for.

 

[Wish2BMom]

dandi - i love your plan and so glad you're taking the reigns from the slacking docs. I'd be a little uncomfortable with that too. Time's a-wastin', here, people!!

I don't have any updates but I did sign back up at kickboxing today (on the hottest day of the year so far - makes sense, right?) and remembered why I loved it. i knew I just needed to bite the bullet and GET there, then I'd want to go all the time. So hopefully that will take my mind a little off of TTC for a bit. I should probably lay off of BNB to assist with that as well but I just can't not support and check in with you guys!
on a side note - the woman that owns the gym just had her first baby at 44 (conceived naturally on their 2nd try - b*tch...) and she said that I could continue the workouts at whatever pace I could stand while preg or stimming or whatever. I didn't have to actually stop working out. So I'll do that this time. She has another member there going through IVF and she's never mentioned that she needed to stop, so I'll follow in kind. yay!

 

[elliecain]

Pothole, thank you for explaining that... I've been reading up since I read your other post and I'm just so impressed by how clever it all is! We are lucky to live in an age where such medical expertise exists.
I was watching a documentary the other day about the first ivf child in the UK. She is now 30 and was talking about the very slim chances her mother was given of the procedure being successful (1,000,000:1). It was also a very controversial thing back then, with a lot of hate mail sent to the family I'm so glad we also live in a time where people don't behave like that.

Dandi, I told my dh about the champagne room (hope you don't mind) and he said he wants one too! Here, the man "collects" his into a pot in the privacy of his own home and brings it straight to the clinic.

Mdc, how sweet that they gave you a baby picture to focus on! Baby yoga sounds great too. Which fertility meditation did you use? Dh and I listen to guided meditations most nights on YouTube and I'd love to try a fertility one. We usually just listen to The Honest Guys, whose guided meditations I love.

Sorry again about my freak out this morning! I feel much calmer now and will obviously be really upset when (if?) AF shows tomorrow... but I'll cope and move on.

Love and baby dust to you all xxx

 

[Vonn]

Hi ladies--sometimes I stalk threads other than those I regularly post to, just for inspirational bfps. Good luck to everyone!!

Dandi--I was motivated by your post to pop in and write about thyroid issues. I saw that you are frustrated about this and you have every right to be! Nodules, antibodies, and symptoms are major red flags, with or without terrible labs. I don't know what your labs are, but tend not to trust them a whole lot anyway as they do not always tell the whole story. IMO, the issues above warrant some experimenting with meds to improve your situation. Please find a dr who takes you seriously. Having been dismissed by drs over this very issue, I can attest that feeling ignored by those you pay to take care of you is a terrible feeling! Esp when it's tied to TTC and you desperately want everything to be optimal! I fired 3 drs, on my way to finding an integrative/functional medicine md who was willing to think outside the one test (TSH), one drug (T4/synthroid) method of diagnosing and treating hypothyroidism.

I wrote a bunch with LeftWondering on a thread she started a while back, feel free to check it out. It's called "Anyone ttc with thyroid problems." Or you could message me and we could chat. I am on a mission to make sure women--esp those ttc--are NOT dismissed and ignored when it comes to thyroid issues. I spent a long time feeling sick and frustrated & I'd rather no one else have to go through that.

 

[Wish2BMom]

see....super power

 

[Vonn]

Wish--you are a sweetheart!

 

[Dandi]

Thanks Vonn! Ill check out the thread for sure. I'm definitely frustrated today. This doc knows I'm ttc and I was getting a great vibe from him at my first visit. He even said he'd treat me if the thyroid results were fine and I felt like it was worth trying anyway. However, the fact that he isn't starting me on meds and doesn't even want to see me again to discuss or explain things since getting the results of the anti tpo antibodies and now the nodules gives me major doubts. I'm just ready for a bonafied RE who understands my end goal and the importance of timeliness on the matter! I'm not getting any younger or patient. =)

I talked to my insurance company today to confirm what will or won't be covered if it comes to assisted conception and my plan covers testing, medical, and pharmacy, but no artificial insemination. So good news/bad news I guess. We'll figure it out if comes to that. Better start an iui/ivf savings jar in case!

 

[Star2011]

Hello Ladies,

Pothole good luck with your IUI. Excited for you. Soon we will be celebrating your BPF!

Wish- Its tomorrow you going for your blood work? Hoping this time they are good.

Sugar- Glad you got in some bding during your O time. Fx for you.

Dandi- Boo on AF but happy for DH doing the SA. Am sorry about your ultrasound results. Hoping you can get a new Dr and RE who will listen to your and treat you to the best of his ability. Insurance sometimes sucks! Hey you never know, maybe you may not have to go through iui/ivf? You just never know. Insurance issues really gets on me too when it comes to ttc. My primary insurance is through the hospital i work at but they dont cover anything with infertility other than usual lab work. I use DHs insurance with my infertility issues. Best of luck Dandi.

Ellie- Your symptoms sound promising. Wish you the best. BUT please get some sleep tonight……hopefully you are in bed now I believe we will all get our rainbow babies, its just timing is different for all of us.

Jessiecat- I remember you got your rainbow with one tube. I thought the same would happen to me but its taking longer. Apart from the blocked tube i have some fibroids but thank goodness the biggest one is outside my uterus. I ll make appt to have them be checked again.

Mdc- cant wait to read on your progress. Still happy for you.

Everyone else hello.

Afm, Nothing much going on this cycle. Am expecting AF on Monday next week. Didn’t do much or any Bding on my fertile week so not expecting much. I am trying one more cycle naturally this coming month then i have an appt with RE in September. I made the appt for August then had to change it to Sep just to be hopefully for a miracle before i go see the RE. We will see.

 

[sugargully]

GL tonight Pothole. It's 7:30ish (Chicago time) so I would imagine you will trigger soon.

 

[Pothole]

Thank you Sugar! It went smoothly. It doesn't hurt at all going in, but it makes me sore for a day or so afterward. I think I may try to get a chiropractic appointment tomorrow. The pressure in my side has had me sitting oddly and walking a bit differently, so I'm out of wack. I want to get adjusted before the iui.

 

[elliecain]

First step on the road complete, Pothole xxx

 

[elliecain]

I'm trying to find the balance between PMA and realism... Can you girls give me your thoughts on my temps please? I've arranged for a phone appointment with gp this afternoon because there's no point having cd1-5 bloods done tomorrow if af hasn't started, and she was due today. I'm kind of hopeful that gp will offer to do a blood hcg instead... I'm off on holiday on Monday afternoon and really would like to know before I go, but hpts still saying bfn.

"I will not get my hopes up too much. I will not get my hopes up too much. I will not..."

 

[Wish2BMom]

star - my appt is tomorrow morning. I can't wait. Mainly b/c I stop at my fave coffee shop and get my fave breakfast sandwich on the way home. I figure the number will be zero tomorrow, or at least below 1.

No twinges or cramps telling me AF is on the way, though - hope that happens soon. If I had a choice, Sunday would be fine! we're at an all-day pool party on Saturday. You just know the witch is going to show then.

ellie - your temps look good to me! Still up over the coverline and holding strong. I hope you can get a blood test before your vacation. Btw, that vacation sounds wonderful!! Finding that balance between PMA and realism is sooooo hard, huh?

pothole - almost there!! I'm so excited for your TWW!!!