38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[elliecain]

Feeling a bit less hopeless today. CD1 really is such a horrible day of emotions. CD2 somehow feels like I'm en route again! We have planned some perfect bding this cycle We are going to continue with EOD as that did work for us once. Going to start on CD8 and keep going until after ovulation. DH even brought home some posh-looking ovulation tests yesterday, despite my bumper pack of cheapies arriving a few days ago! He decided that poas rather than dip sticks looked nicer and might be easier to read. They do look smart, plastic-cased and pink rather than just the standard strip you dip! Bless him, he's really getting determined now! I've been obsessing properly for about 7 months, he's just getting on board now. I think he honestly thought it would just happen after a few months and didn't realise that there are so many factors at play with my age etc. I don't know if I told you already, but a girlfriend of his 20 years ago fell pregnant. It wasn't planned. Then she found out she had breast cancer and had to terminate because she needed treatment. It was such a heart breaking decision for them and she was 20+ weeks along. She then died anyway. He's found his peace with it, but I know this whole process brings it back and it must be frustrating for him that I'm not just getting pregnant easily too.
Anyway, happy Saturday to you all. I'm so lucky to have found this thread, you girls get me through the ups and downs of this weird rollercoaster.
Right, cleaning beckons...

 

[Left wonderin]

Ellie that is such a sad story I'm glad your oh has made his peace with the past but as you said its something that will never be truley forgotten .

Cd 1 is a day just to write off , accept its going to be a horrible blah day . The next day is always better and a day closer to ov are you doing SMEP Will you bd everyday ? My ob advised me to have one bd to get " rid " of the old spermy and then every other day is better for sperm quality than every day . His advice worked for me twice so thought I share oh he also said to bd two days in a row as soon as Opk goes positive . Turns out he was reccomending SMEP
Your new ov sticks sound lovely

 

[Wish2BMom]

hi girls! Glad you're feeling better, ellie! That is a terribly sad story about DH, my heart goes out to him. Breast cancer can suck it. He will one day be holding your forever baby in his hands soon, I just know it!!

I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend. I had a scan and blood work again today - I feel like I can't look up and around the room now b/c of the stories we've all told! I'll just bust out laughing or blush or something.
I have 3 follicles now, but 2 still aren't up to the IVF-level - one is 10, one is 13 and the big guy is 16.7. So I'm triggering tonight, IUI is scheduled for 10:30am on Monday. So glad these injections will be over after tonight's dose. Whew! 15 days!
I wonder if they'll put me on anything for progesterone? IUI ladies - did anyone talk about that? I have a pretty short LP, I'll probably mention it and see if they want me on crinone.

 

[Dandi]

Woohoo! Another exciting tww commences on Monday! Good Luck Wish!

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, how did O watch go this weekend? Hoping the HSG is going to give you a sticky bean surprise!

Ellie, ugh sorry about AF, but glad you are feeling better. I hope they find the tests, and so not fair to make you wait if they lost them. And super crappy that they won't refer you to IVF or IUI just because of the other month. They should really take in consideration what you have gone through to get to this point and understand the clock is ticking. So sorry about DH's previous girlfriend that is awful, but he seems like such an amazing guy. You guys will be amazing parents!

Wish, sorry about work that sucks big time, but glad it may mean a better chance for you to move up. Yeah for team IUI! How did it go? They did not measure my prog levels, but that was just my Ob, but she did say RE's are much more hands on so it would not hurt to ask.

Pothole, when do you test?

Hi to everyone else!

I am just hitting dpo10 with some still lower temps, but in looking at my previous charts one other is that high and then 2 others much lower so who knows. Hopefully it is just high because the lack of pre O temps. This weekend went off without a hitch with the SIL I had a glass of wine when she got there and that put a squash to anything. Sadly she was unusually quiet the rest of dinner, and in hindsight I never really put much thought into the facts that others would be disappointed also after getting there hopes up. So I am in a weird mindset now. I so want to have a miracle sticky BFP this month, but that is not statistically likely. Then on the other hand if I am anovulatory this cycle I hope it is a long one. Getting so worried about scheduling IUIs because of work and holidays. Trying to stay positive because I feel like there is a chance this month, and man I feel like we paid a price last time so hopefully the universe will be nice. It would be a nice first year wedding anniversary present!

 

[Wish2BMom]

hola girls! :wave: how's everyone doing?

ellie - I thought about you more this weekend and had meant to add in that I was upset when you noted that you will not be considered for any Assisted Conception b/c of the one time you were able to conceive naturally. There has to be a time limit on that!! Like, if in a year later you haven't conceived again, could they consider that route for you? ugh, so SO frustrating.

dandi - how are you doing? getting in some DTDs?

mdc - I, too, am hoping the universe is nice to you and throwing you a bone! And if not, at least hoping your cycle timing works out so the following one(s) work out ok too. Thanks for welcoming me to Team IUI!

pothole - how are you doing, you busy bee?

krasa, sugar, star, kiley, left, justme - hi all!

my turkey basting was completed this morning! DH's sperm looked awesome too, I'm so excited! I hope with my 'gorgeous' lining, as it was called on Friday, with his sperm and our slow-cooker/CoQ10-grown egg, we've got a good chance this month. She got the plunger nice and high up in there, I was propped up and rested for 15 mins afterwards. She said with my success with the first IVF cycle, I basically have no reason to think this won't be equally as successful. I'm really trying not to take those words and hang on to them with a kung-fu grip, but it's hard. I really hope this is it. What a difference between IUI and IVF! No being knocked out, getting warm blankets and ginger ale/cookies after. HAHA! Just drop trough, open up and BOOM! done.
TWW, here we go!

 

[Dandi]

O watch went ok. I'm on cd13, 3rd day of high opk monitor, but still waiting for peak. Had a big temp dip yesterday though, so not really sure. We've been bd'ing every other day and we need to tonight, but my mother in law called late last night to say that she and some family friend I've never met are coming through our state and need to stay tonight. Let me just say that our dogs make be sessions a whole production and we have to lock them out of the room and they hate it, so there will be no secretive bd'ing in the house without our house guests being disturbed. I'm so annoyed. I'm going to try to leave work early so I can rush home and have a quick bd sesh before they arrive. In laws....

 

[Dandi]

Ellie, I also meant to respond to you on that. I know it may be different for you in England, but the same thing happened to me earlier in the year. I fell pregnant just a couple of weeks before my RE appt and after my mc, I had to have another 6 months of failure to conceive before being referred for fertility assistance again. I hope it's something similar for you, but I hope you get pregnant on your own soon and don't even need it!

Yay Wish!!! I have every faith that this could be your month. I'm excited for this tww for you!!!

 

[elliecain]

Mdc, I really hope that this month is a good one for you. You really do deserve it. A lovely sticky bean is certainly coming your way.

I've had a really short period this month. I'm so scared that I'm getting towards the menopause and it will be too late for me. I feel like a shriveled up, barren old prune today. I'm really struggling with my mood and it's so hard. I don't have any kind of regular doctor at my GP surgery, just lots of locums and the nurse at the EPAC I spoke to on Friday was meant to be ringing me today to say if she'd found the blood results so I could schedule the HSG, but she didn't call me. I was teaching then had a meeting and they were closed when I got home. I got all pissy with DH and then I rang my GP surgery and cried to the receptionist. She's made me a telephone appointment tomorrow with an actual GP there who is not a locum. You have to have a phone call first so they can filter out the time wasters (my town is full of lots of very old people). The GP will then make me a face to face appointment for later in the day. Finally someone I can get on my side, fighting my corner with me. I'm so tired of trying to do this myself and not knowing what to do or who to talk to. I'd finally got things going when I got the bfp which meant I canceled it all and how I have to start it all again, in a worse position than before and with another 3 months on the clock. It's really frustrating and DH just keeps telling me to take the pressure off.
He doesn't get it: I am 38.5 and my FSH was 8.2 on cd1 in July, meaning I'm probably nearing/at the point where my crappy eggs are being released, hence the very early mc, which was probably more of a chemical mc, as the HCG was so low and the hpts didn't darken much.
I don't have time to take the pressure off and hope nature will be kind. I need to get some help with this or we will not have a baby. I can't cope with that. (Deleted over the top brain dump.)

The whole thing was made so much worse today because my Year 11s have worked out that I might one day go on maternity leave (I got married in May) and they are worried I might leave them before their exams next summer. I was a bit bloated today and they decided to ask if I was planning to have a baby soon. I actually think they think I'm pregnant. I wanted to cry then and there, break down and tell them the whole horrible truth of my ttc journey, but I didn't - I shrugged it off and promised them that I would not be going on maternity leave before their exams in May.

2 lessons I learnt today:
1. To get an appointment with a proper GP at my surgery, you need to be at the end of your tether.
2. Don't wear a tight dress the day after you eat lots of roasted Jerusalem artichoke or people will think you are pregnant.

 

[elliecain]

Sorry Wish and Dandi, our posts crossed.
Wish, I'm really hopeful for you, this is it, I know it!!! Such exciting times, you are now PUPO, aren't you?! (I only read that acronym for their first time yesterday, had to look it up).
Dandi, come on ovulation! What a pain about the house guests Maybe send them out, book them a table at local restaurant!!!!! Fingers crossed you catch that eggy!

Sorry for pity party before. It just gets really hard and I wanted to vent to you girls because I know you get it. I'm fine, just feeling tired and emotional. Might go downstairs and hug DH (I stropped up to bed when he told me to take the pressure off!)
xx

 

[Mdc]

Wish, glad it went so well and I like the RNs encouraging words. Yeah, nothing sleek or sexy about an IUI, but it works! PUPO!!!! When do you test, or beta? Did they say anything about progesterone?

Dandi, good luck with the stealthy BD session! Do you ever get a temp dip before O? It is usually one of my signs either they day of or before O.

Ellie, big and I am sorry this is so frustrating for you. When you talk to the GP I would say exactly what you said there. Give him the facts and hopefully he can get you fast tracked. Fingers crossed you will have a great conversation and get a visit with a GP soon. LT are usually hard to work with because there is no consistency. Vent away here and that is what we are all here for!

 

[Wish2BMom]

ellie, hon, i'm so sorry you're feeling so frustrated but I totally get it!! So easy for the DH's to say 'relax, it is what it is, take the pressure off, chill out' - YOU CHILL OUT! hahaha that's what I feel like saying. We do have a limited time to get our babies, unfortunately. But know you're doing all you can and giving it the best effort you can, even if that means crying on the phone to the receptionist. I agree with mdc - get your questions and such in order for when you talk to the GP and hopefully they can get everything lined right up for you. I'd even state your concern about the CP being an actual blocker for any TTC help. Perhaps he can cut through that red tape for you. Good luck! keep us posted and YES, always vent to us. That's what we're here for!
And just b/c there are crappy eggs doesn't mean that there aren't a few good ones left - they aren't all bad all of the sudden!

dandi - oh man, those visitors! or maybe the dogs that will sell you out!! I hope you can get in a broom closet sesh or something!

mdc - I want to say PUPO but i don't feel like I can!! I don't know if anything is actually fertilized whereas with IVF/ICSI, I did! AND knew that they were at least 'in' my uterine lining. But right now, all I know is that the spermies and egg are in the general vicinity of each other and there is one cushy lining waiting to hold on to them should they choose to stick around. And yes, I start Crinone on Wed and my beta is on 10/19. A WHOLE 2 weeks this time, since I'm not skipping days with them being in a petri dish doing this by themselves first. I'm not to do anything exercise-wise except walking until after we find out so I guess i'm just donating to my gym this month. Oh well!

 

[Mdc]

Wish, I get you about PUPO, but hopefully your awesome swimmers are so totally ready for your plump eggie. Just tell the not to mess around and get in there. I hope the two weeks flies by. You did not test early last time right? I am also going to hold out till Monday (hopefully).

 

[Wish2BMom]

eeee!! I hope your temps shoot through the roof tomorrow morning!!

yeah, I can't test early - i'd die if it was a false positive. The only way I've read to avoid that is to test every day and watch the trigger shot leave my body and then watch the lines get darker again through the natural HCG. That sounds pricey and I don't want to trust Dollar Store cheapies with that. So I'll just wait.

I was thinking about temping too, but I really don't want to drive myself nuts. And it's hard to do that with taking progesterone supplements b/c it's the progesterone that heightens your temp, right? So around the end of the week, I'll be feeling all crazy, killer boobs and stuff again. I'm going to def be on the lookout for the lightheadedness and cramping again, though. And maybe, just maybe, that little pull/tug when I stretch out.

 

[Mdc]

Me too!

I thought you did not test early either. I agree about the temp in it is the progesterone that heightens you bbt, so I would skip it and get some more sleep. Team lightheaded and tugging. I did have a tug last night. Eeek...now trying to stop from getting excited. Tempered PMA I guess.

Here is to hoping we can be bump buddies for the next 38 weeks!

 

[Wish2BMom]

omg how awesome would that be????? FX'ed!!

 

[Star2011]

Hello everybody,

A lot been happening here. It was a busy weekend for me but not so busy like Pothole. This will be quick, I am babysitting a friend’s 3 year old and 6 month old kids while she ran to the stores real quick. Makes me yearn for my own babies.

Pothole I hope your week is laid back compared to last.

Ellie- am sorry about AF and about your frustrations. Gosh this is tough but you will get through it. Hope the best.

Mdc- Am glad this the weekend went well. I hear you on the miracle bfp as anniversary gift. When is your anniversary? Did you also just turn 38? I missed your birthday.

Wish- All the best. I am sure it’s different than being PUPO. Wishing and praying for a miracle for you too.

Dandi- Go girl! Get those bd session as much as you can get. Miracle for you too.

I am just praying for praying for you all today!

Have a good evening

 

[Mdc]

Hello lovely ladies!

Wish, that would be amaze balls!

Star, good to hear from you! I think the countdown is close to two weeks right?

Dandi, hoping you got your stealthy BD in!

Ellie, hope you are feeling better today.

Pothole, if you are out there any news?

Krasa, hoping things are moving along for you.

Sugar, I cannot believe how far along you are...although I know it is likely dragging for you.

Just, hope you are doing well!

Left, hope you are doing awesome in your second tri!

Hi to anyone else I missed.

Not much going on with me, no heartburn or twinges yesterday. Sigh! There was a girl three machines down from me at the gym and man she had strong perfume. I might be cracking up and symptom spotting over here, and it is so unlike me. Guess I just want some good news. However temp back up this morning so at least it seems O did happen. Silver linings and all

 

[Dandi]

Temps are looking good Mdc! They could totally sky rocket the next few days. Nothing wrong with a little symptom spotting as long you don't drive yourself crazy. PMA all the way!

Wish- your tww is already killing me. Has it really only been a day? Geez!

Sugar- how are you feeling???

Pothole- when is test day? It's getting close right?

Krasa- I hope the waiting game is going ok. The 23rd will be here before you know it so you can get the ball rolling.

Ellie- I hope today is better now that you have a plan in place to talk to the GP. Hang in there and go after this cycle with all the positivity and hope as your first month of trying. It's going to happen!

Star- Glad you've got a busy week to help the wait fly by. Getting close!

Hi to everyone else!

CD 14 over here and still no peak on the opk monitor yet. I wonder if it's broken or if the hsg from hell is causing delayed O. We're just doing eod until I get a peak I guess. I just hope it comes tomorrow because I'm going to be out of town Friday and Saturday for a girls weekend at the lake house and I'm going to be so pissed if we miss the egg this month. DH may just have to make the drive to the lake house for to sneak one in if that's the case. Speaking of which... I ended up taking the day off yesterday just so we could be sure to BD before his mother+1 showed up. She was supposed to here at 4pm and I just knew there was no way I'd make it home in time. So I took off to prepare the guest room and organize the house a bit more since we're in the middle of a kitchen renovation, and get a BD sesh in as soon as DH got home mid afternoon. DH tries calling her all day to get an idea of when they're coming since we were starving and waiting on them to go to dinner. 5pm comes along and she called to say that she's still 5 hours away and will be there at 11. 10pm comes along and she calls to say that she still hasn't left and won't be coming at all. Livid. That's all I have to say about the situation. Livid. My head was about to launch off of my shoulders I was so mad. My MIL is the worst. But we got a BD session in so I guess that's all that matters. Ugh. I go back to the RE tomorrow to get all of our results and see if we can move forward or not!

 

[Wish2BMom]

mdc - totes! and I'm SO glad your temps rose today!! keep on rising!!!

star - Tom Petty was so right, the waiting IS the hardest part

dandi - right? it's surely been a week so far. And holy crap about your MIL. That's just rude, honestly. I'm sorry, I know she's your DH's mom, but...I'd be livid too! Granted I'm sure she doesn't know how much of an inconvenience she caused with the BD'ing but still - people have lives and need to go to bed and whatnot!

sugar - check in please - how are you feeling? I can't remember, did you have a scan yet? I need to go back and reread.

pothole - where arrrrrre you and your tests???

afm - I got nuthin'. Hoping to BD tonight for a 2nd "IUI" of sorts.

hugs to you all!