38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[elliecain]

Wish, I'm so excited for you right now!

Dandi, keep on bding! I'm sorry your mil was so rude, that must have been really annoying!

Mdc, your temps are looking good now. I'm dying to know what your notes say! Fxed for this month, getting close to testing day now!

Star, I know what you mean about other people's babies making you yearn even more. You'll be holding your own bean before long, I'm sure of it.

Thanks everyone for your support. It's been horrible the last few days, with my mood really slipping and I'm so glad I've got this thread to come to. I saw the GP yesterday and she was lovely. She wanted me to take some time off work but I said that won't help at all so she wants me to go and talk to Mary, the counselor I saw after the mc. I would, but she's based half an hour in the wrong direction... It would take me over an hour after work and I'd have to rush. I'll maybe text her though.

I'm going to get my bloods done again. I spoke to the fertility nurse again yesterday and she said my chlamydia results are nowhere to be found. I'm going to get those done again today because they take 3 weeks to get back and then I can get the HSG during my next period, if necessary. We are also going to do cd21 progesterone again in a couple of weeks and then cd3 all the rest next cycle. Hopefully dh is getting a SA sometime then we can see the consultant after that.

It feels like I've wasted months, I'm back to where I was in July. I can only hope so much that I get a positive this month... I'll still keep the tests booked in this time though, apart from hsg. If I have another mc, I'm not going to start from scratch again.

The GP seemed to think everything is still normal for me anyway and didn't really know why I was going down the testing route. She seemed to think that 10 months trying with one early mc was totally normal and she seemed sure I'll get my sticky bean really soon without help.
The fertility nurse also said we might be able to hide the pregnancy and still do referrals if necessary. As I never had a scan that showed any kind of baby, we might be able to hide the blood test result somehow...

 

[Left wonderin]

Elle if it helps that's almost exactly what it was for me. I was 11 months with a mc then I fell on the 12th month. It could be just round the corner !!!! The do say it takes the average couple 12 months xxx

 

[Wish2BMom]

aw ellie, I'm so sorry you're still feeling down. I know what it's like to feel like you wasted months. That's how I felt after my whole first year + of trying. Little did I know we'd need so much assistance.
That just sounds weird to me, to say that trying for 10 mos with one m/c is normal. I know it is, but it just sounds odd. Goes to show how common a m/c is. Though I do think that's why I wasn't surprised when I had one - statistically, it was bound to happen once. Hopefully, though, we're good to go for next time! All of us, that is!!

left! you lurker! how are you doing?

dandi - how are you doing?

well, everyone, really - how is everyone this fine Wed?

 

[Dandi]

CD 15, still no peak opk or temp rise. Another big temp dip today though, so maybe it's coming!

MIL showed up yesterday afternoon without warning and I had to cancel my after work plans to go straight home and take her to dinner. She's gone back to her own state now though, so all is well.

I'm about to leave for RE appt to find out all of my test results. Fingers crossed!!!

 

[Star2011]

Dandi good luck with your appt today. Somebody needs to talk to MIL! She sure is a character Yay, its almost O day.

Ellie- forgive me if you mentioned this before.... Do they need your chlamydia results to do the hsg? Glad you are starting from somewhere with the other tests, and dont say " if i have another mc again" .... Think positive, i know hard sometimes.

Mdc- keep on symptom spotting... It doesn't hurt. Fx.

Wish- i also didn't know i needed an assistance. I thought it would be easy because it was easy for my mom and sister. Well, here i am. On a side note, we will all get there, yes all of us as you mentioned. Are you symptom spotting?

Afm, 2 more weeks then i ll join you ladies. Am healing well, i do get occasional pulling sensation on my incision but overall am doing much better. My next "after surgery" follow up appt is 2 days before my birthday so if i get the green light, we all know how i ll celebrate my birthday. On another note, my younger sister who is 36 who accidently found that she is expecting baby #3 just called and told me she found out she is having a girl. She didnt want to find out the sex of the baby but her DH made her. She already has a boy and a girl. She is due 12/27. Am happy for her but believing that one day it will be my turn. It will be our turns PMA!

Hope everyones Wednesday is going well.

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, sorry about the lack of a peak and yes the hsg can delay O, but hoping it comes ASAP. OMG...I am not a fan of violence or throwing a fit, but I would have lost it with your MIL if I were you. That sucks the big one! Especially about showing up unannounced. I am going to be stalking all day to hear your results. Good luck!

Ellie, first I am so sorry you are feeling bad although you have the right to feel any emotions you need to heal. There is no right way to deal with all this TTC/mc crap. That is why this site is so great, and place to let it all out. Does the counselor do any phone consultations so you don't have to drive down there? I am glad you liked the GP, but crappy the cannot find your results. Maybe they could lose the blood test like your chalmydia results I know it is heard to keep positive, and feel like time is wasting away but you ARE going to get your little take home baby. My notes are pretty boring, and fill you all in on the crazy things my brain is spotting. Ha!

Hi left our PMA coach! How are you feeling?

Star, so close and what a fun way to spend a birthday! You have such a great attitude about the future and I know you time is just around the corner.

Wish, hope the second 'IUI' was better than the first.

Hi to everyone else!

Afm, no symptoms yesterday again so who knows, but the temp is staying up so that is good. Looking back at the cycle of the BFP I did not write down much either so there is still a bit of hope. My temps are pretty close to the BFP cycle, but my temps are unreliable. I had been using the wondfo stick to make sure my hcg was gone, but it dawned on me that frers are much more sensitive, so I decided that I should test today because that is what I will use after I am late. Now don't get excited, but I got a very faint positive and I was kind of hoping for that for two reasons 1) could be the start of a surprise and if it was stark white, being dpo 12 and all, I would likely think I was out for sure. 2) now I have a baseline if it is just residual hcg. I would hate to test on Monday if I was late and see a faint line and get excited. So not totally in it because the line was so faint, but not out either. Thank God we are going away this weekend to keep me busy and AF this is a warning...stay the hell away! I figured a stern talking to her and she will listen

 

[Star2011]

Mdc I sure do hope this is a start of something and not residual hcg! Yes, talk to AF. She better stay away.

 

[Wish2BMom]

mdc - can you please yell at my AF too? thanks. I started progesterone this morning, though, so I think she'll stay away no matter what. Yes, last night's IUI was MUCH better, though my cervix seemed tender from the first one. I know she had a hard time getting the baster through my cervix and into my uterus.

star - going to try not to symptom spot until at least next week - nothing should be happening right now. Though I have gotten much sneezier since Monday but that could also be, and probably is, the season change. Also, so glad you are healing well!! 2 weeks will go by quickly - so around the time I'll get my results, you'll get your green light AND have a birthday!! woohoo!

dandi - can't wait to read your results!! time to get this show on the road again!! oh and that MIL of yours......she's cruisin' for a bruisin' and i'm not violent either.

I'll check back in later to see the results, dandi!

 

[Left wonderin]

Hi everyone so so much to catch up on!!!!! Things move soooo fast round here .
Ellie I'm sorry your feeling down . This journey is excruciating at times and it is so hard when the light at the end of that tunnel seems so far away . I hope today is a better day for you xxxxx

Wish. I'm sending AF on a all expenses holiday from all of you from today ( watch this space ) she is going to be too busy to be around !!!! I've everything crossed that your wonder eggie and oh super sperm have gotten closely acquainted and have a nice new home together in your comfy top spec uterus

Dani good luck with your results today il be checking in to see how you got on . And I also hope ov is only round the corner

Mdc you sure like to keep this interesting ill be waiting with baited breath !!! Everything crossed for you that this is a new line

Star not long to wait now ..... I remember those incision pulling sensations well from my c section not very pleasant !

AFM time is ticking away 17 weeks today. So now I'm busy ..... Off finalising holiday plans

 

[elliecain]

So excited for us all! Wish, I have got such a good feeling for you this month!
Mdc, wow, that would be amazing if you've caught again straight away!
Dandi, your mil is quite hard work!
Star, getting there, can't wait until you're back in the game. And yes, the blood chlamydia results are needed before they'll do an hsg, something to do with scarring???
The surgery can only do these bloods in the morning so I had to get permission to go into work late tomorrow. I was dreading asking, but they've been really kind and someone offered to cover my first lesson. The receptionist has put me on before the start of the first clinic so I can get away asap. Hopefully this one won't get lost! I should have the results by my next af (if this month doesn't work out) and then have the hsg straight away.
I worked out that, if I get pregnant this cycle, I would be exactly 12 weeks on Christmas Day! What a lovely announcement... I'm crying thinking about it, I want so much to be able to tell everyone such lovely news. Please please please. Anyone listening, please let it happen this month.

 

[Star2011]

Left - 17 weeks already! Time goes fast. Before we know it.... You will be welcoming the LO. Yes, these pulling sensation are no fun.

Ellie- i hear you. That would be a wonderful annocement. I also do calculate stuff like that. Gives me hope and something to look forward too. We are going to seriously pray for BFP in this thread this month and next month for me

 

[Dandi]

Oh my gosh Mdc! What an emotional roller coaster (and I'm talking about for the rest of us, I can't even imagine how you feel, lol!). I'm so hoping this is the start of something new!!!

So my appointment... good news and bad news. Bad news first. The glucose test didn't go well. I'm pre-diabetic. I should have seen that coming because in the past 3 months my dad has been diagnosed with diabetes and my mom and sister have both been diagnosed as pre-diabetic, so the odds were against me. The good part is that I'm only a tenth of a point outside of normal range, so it's not bad and it's great I'm aware of it now because it will be easier to make some dietary changes and get it under control. That being said, she's putting me on Metformin. That sucks, but I'll do what I have to do. The other bad news is that my AMH is low, boo!!! I'm at .69. The doctor kept me from completely losing it by telling me that she isn't overly concerned at this point and she's seen plenty of women get pregnant with an AMH at that level, we just need to act fast. I know it's putting the cart before the horse, but that makes me really worry about the possibility of #2 if we can ever conceive a healthy #1.

All other levels were fine and she said my tubes were clear. I asked for copies of all of my results though and on my hsg report, it says, "normal fill ? spill noted ? hydro". (hydro meaning blockage for those that don't know) She assured me during our meeting that my tubes were clear and she could see the dye spill though. So I guess maybe the note meant that there was a slight blockage as first and that's why it hurt so bad. She didn't elaborate, but I believe her that she's saying they're clear, so we'll go with it.

She said that even with the insulin resistance and low AMH, we have all the perfect ingredients for an IUI: clear tubes, good follicle count, and good sperm, so we're moving forward. My protocol will include femara, an fsh shot on day 7, trigger shot when it's time, and a single IUI. We went ahead and told her that we're not moving past IUI, we can't afford IVF and she said that we'll be aggressive with the IUIs before calling it quits, but she's hopeful that it will work for us. So here we go! First IUI should fall early November if I'd hurry up and ovulate this cycle!

 

[Star2011]

Dandi- first of all, am happy that your tubes are clear! Thats a celebration. I am sorry about the low AMH. But just like the RE said, she has seen people who get pregnant with low AMH. If this month doesn't work out you have a perfect plan next month. That is a heavy duty protocol that your RE has in place for you. I heard so many good things with Femara. You will still bd after the IUI right? Many prayers for this month and all through next month. Hey, who knows, you may end up with twins after your IUI so dont have to think of possibility of # 2.

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, another for team IUI! So glad the tubes were open and the doc is positive about the IUIs. That protocol sounds perfect! Sorry about the insulin resistance but good news with lifestyle you will be under that number in no time especially with metformin. Although you do not have problems O, metformin can make even better. Btw, not sure if she mentioned it but a little pharmacist info...metformin can induce weight loss so double bonus. So excited for you!

I am not getting my hopes up to much about the line, but better than a swift kick in the stomach. PMA stay with me. Ha!

 

[Left wonderin]

So if you didn't know AF has won an all expenses paid holiday ( vacation for our American / Canadian friends ! ) to the island of BUGGER OFF AND DON'T COME BACK FOR 10 months

Here trip will start with ( well she going for a loooong time so she needs to pack well right ?

She then will be travelling for some time , over various time zones FAR AWAY ...

On her holidays she has a packed itinerary too busy to remember to come back.

She will have a holiday romance and fall in love ...

And will be too busy ever to come back !

 

[Mdc]

OMG Left! You are killing me over here

 

[Dandi]

Bahahahahahaha!!!

 

[Star2011]

Left that is hilarious. Hahahahahahha. Am sure AF got the message.

 

[Wish2BMom]

left, you are the absolute BEST!! So creative, I love it!!!

and mdc - I TOTALLY skipped over your faint line!!!! I hope I hope I hope this is it! And selfishly hope my IUI worked so being bump buddies can commence! keep up that PMA, girl!

dandi - so happy you have clear tubes. I'm really sorry about the low AHM - i have that too. But we both got preggers once so far, we can do it again! I'm also really glad you're only borderline pre-diabetic. That sounds easy to manage, I'm sure you'll do it quickly and well. Sounds like you could be buddies with Star!

ellie - I think we'd be announcing around the same time, if all goes as planned. How wonderful!!

My biggest thing is that I'm going to see my family in NC the weekend of 11/7 and we are all looking to sit around the fire pit and drink wine and drink more wine and have fun. Sooooo...once again...me not drinking will raise flags. I already feel so guilty not having told my folks we're going through this. Sighh...but let's not count our chickens!

have a lovely evening all!

 

[Pothole]

Sorry I've been absent. Life has been so hectic this week. The witch showed up right on time today. I am sadder than I thought I'd be. It's not like this is unusual at this point. But it's sinking in that iui is not going to work for us. We are doing one more with an increase in Femara while we finalize our financial plan for ivf. I'll be honest, I'm scared half to death. This board has not had a good record with ivf, and this is a 1 shot deal for us. If it fails, we won't have another try. I've been trying to process that and I'm not doing well. Add to that, I have the beginning of a migraine hitting. Today's aura manifested as terrible dizziness. Upside, since I know I'm not pregnant, I can take the hard meds to knock this thing out faster. I will catch up on all of you, I promise. Till then, you are all in my thoughts