38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Mdc]

Tick tock, tick tock...waiting for the doc.

 

[Mdc]

So who wants a hysteroscopy....I guess I do

Ugh! Doc found what she thinks is a small fibroid or polyp right where a baby would implant so she wants to remove it. SERIOUSLY it must have just popped up! They did not see it on the high tech us when we were verifying the fetal demise or when she did the us last time. Good news is I have the removal scheduled for next Thursday. Hopefully it will be easy peasy and no complications. Star, is that what type of surgery you had? I forgot, what was your complication?

So the saga continues, however it will be remedied quickly. Better news the doc is all about allowing me to time when I get my period so O is not when I am on a work trip. And best news she said my lining looks great, so there is that.

The sono was not that bad. A little cramping when the saline was being introduced. It took a while to get the catheter in (damn tight cervix....haven't you been stretched out enough!), and she had to take quite a few extra pics because of Fibbie the fibroid (or is it Polly the polyp).

So, guess the middle of December is going to be a miracle for a lot of us. Well except Dandi and maybe Ellie (probably some others too if I am forgetting anyone) because they will already be preggo.

 

[elliecain]

Oh Mdc, you've had such a tough time. I'm really hopeful that, once this is sorted, you can get back to ttc and no more of this delaying. I'm glad it wasn't too painful.

Pothole, yay, things are moving on for you now. Fingers crossed!

Krasa, that's an incredible and complicated process. It really is amazing, isn't it!?

Wish, I'm sure it will be fine. Have you heard anything yet?

Dandi, eep! You're PUPO lovely. Can't wait to hear the result!!!

Everyone else, hello

Afm, I'm CD9 and this cycle is dragging! DH and I had a huge row last night. Not good at all. Spent whole day at work feeling miserable and honestly didn't know if he'd be here when I got home. He was and we tried to talk but ended up arguing again. Tried again and eventually got some kind of resolution. Not perfect, but better.

***TMI alert***

2 days post HSG and I've got serious TMI going on. Those of you who've had it, did you get this...? I have copious (and I'm talking clumps of) cm. It's mainly the ewcm type too. My opk is negative, but I don't want to miss out on an early ovulation. I've not had ewcm like this since I was a lot younger and thought I had something wrong with me because I didn't know it was normal! I know it's probably that the catheter shifted some gunk and it's maybe old cm (delightful) but even just the idea of it all getting a good clear out seems a positive thing!

Since I've now written this post twice because my tablet always crashes when I type a long post, I'm going to press post now!!! Apologies for typos!

 

[Pothole]

Oh Mdc, we are getting our mid December miracles. I'm certain of it. Isn't it crazy how so many of us have ended up in sync? It happened on my dormitory hall, and in my classroom, but states and oceans separate many of us and yet we are in the same window. Bodies are weird.

 

[sugargully]

Hi! Baby kicked a leg and waved at the ultrasound on Tuesday. He/she is hanging out upside down too. So funny!
Have an awesome weekend ya'll!

 

[Dandi]

Oh boo Mdc! What rotten news. Glad you're jumping right on and getting it out of the way though. I need to look up the details of that procedure. I think someone else had one awhile back too, sugar maybe? Will you be under general? I'm about to google it and learn something. I've been wondering if it's the same as a myomectomy or less invasive. Glad that the saline wasn't too bad!

Ellie, I had a lot of cm after my HSG too, but it wasn't lining up with my opks so I wasn't sure if it was a fertile sign or just random cm. I say take advantage of it and tell DH to get over it, move on, and some mind blowing make up sex!

I'm not actually PUPO since it was an iui, but I'm all about the positivity so I'll go with it, lol! Lots of unusual cramps going on, not sure if they mean anything or not. I should have ovulated by now since I triggered Wednesday, so who knows. We might bd tonight again just in case.

 

[elliecain]

The NHS has quite a thorough explanation of the hysteroscopy here. Are they giving you local or general, Mdc?

 

[elliecain]

Dandi, what you suggested, check!

 

[Mdc]

Thanks guys. Yes, I am going to be knocked out (thank God). Basically the dilate me, insert a scope, and remove Fibbe or Polly all within 20 minutes. Worst part will be getting the IV started in my hand. Ouch. Wimp over here.

Sugar, glad the scan went awesome. So excited for you and DH!

Ellie, I had a slightly off cycle after my hsg and I would not be surprise if your body is doing its own little 'cleanse'.

Dandi, unusual cramping yeah! Hoping the IUI worked the first time. Funny thing while I was waiting for the doc they had a chart of the follie sizes. Although I always heard people say the sizes seeing them to scale...wow...no wonder you can feel the bigger ones.

Happy Saturday everyone. Hubby gets home from his final business trip today.

 

[Mdc]

Double post.

 

[Wish2BMom]

hi girls! whewwwwwww - finished with my super busy week. Holy hell, that was a comedy of errors there for a bit.

mdc - UGH! I feel like there are nothing but tests of patience being given to everyone on this thread!! At least you'll get Polly taken care of this week. Sheesh. Tough to keep PMA going when every single step is a challenge. But you're doing an awesome job. And 12/7 is my birthday so I hope there are lucky ladies on here that get knocked up around that time!!

dandi - how many days post IUI are you now? cramping is GOOD!! could point to implantation!!

ellie - I'm with the ladies, I'm sure you're just cleansing yourself. Also, EWCM I think is caused by estrogen surges, but OPKs measure for LH? So you could be having one without the other. That said, my xray tech told me to go home and have sex after my HSG b/c that procedure can mess with your O. I ended up getting AF a week early that cycle.

sugar - that's so lovely!!! a wiggly baby!!! You must be over the moon!

left - I didn't see an update from your scan on Friday? I hope everything is ok??

pothole - funny point about us being in synch! cheers to you getting started!

krasa - the whole process is CRAZY, right?? could NOT agree more. Mind = blown.

afm - so all was not lost last week. The 'audible' that we're calling is to continue on as I started and basically throw away the whole 'flare' part of the protocol. So I guess this Lupron Microflare thing, taking the Lupron only for the first 3 days, is to take advantage of my own FSH surge and really suppress the follicles so when I start the Gonal, it's like a kickstart? I'm not sure if I got that right. But anyway - they said to just continue with both. So I had to have DH overnight me down a Gonal-F pen b/c I only brought enough to start on Saturday. So I needed them for Friday. Ugh. I actually even had to skip a dose on Thurs but I read that if you 'miss' a dose in the early part of the protocol, it's better than later b/c you're just getting started. So I didn't even tell my doc's office about that b/c I didn't want to cancel.
So I went in today and I have 5 follicles - 4 more than last month! And it's still early so I'm hoping a couple more pop up as well.

I ended up telling my mom about things too - how could I not? overnighted package coming to me, meds in the fridge - she was shocked at how much I was lying to her! HAHA! But she understood but was SO thankful that I finally shared this with her. She was getting so uncomfortable never asking about that part of our lives and we've been so close my whole life that it was like this giant wall up. I haven't told DH that I told her yet but I'm thinking he'd assume they know something since he had to send a package to their house.

 

[Dandi]

I'm so glad it all worked out with the meds! 5 follicles is awesome, so excited for you this cycle. I also filled my mom in on everything recently, so I'm sure it felt good for you to be able to talk to her about it. I also haven't told DH that she knows bc I don't want him thinking it means he can tell his mom, lol.

I'm only 4dpiui, maybe 5 since the iui was in the morning. I think it's too early for the cramps to really mean anything unfortunately. We'll see though. I'm testing my trigger out and this morning was darker than yesterday, so we're going in the wrong direction, ugh. It's such a mind tease to see a positive test and know that it doesn't mean anything!

 

[Mdc]

Hello from rainy Northern Cal. Man wish it was Sunday so I could just sloth in bed all day.

Wish, wow 5 follies! Giddie up! So glad you had a conversation with your mom. DH and I talked last night if it was time to tell our parents also.

Dandi, even to me it seems like you are much further than 4dpiui. As for the hcg maybe your urine was more concentrated this time?

Hi to everyone else.

So DH asked when I was going to tell my parents about the surgery. It really had not crossed my mind, but I guess it is time to let to cat out of the bag. There is really never a good time to bring all of this up, so maybe the surgery is a good catalyst. What a fun conversation... so mom we are trying to make you a grandparent well we did, then we didn't, now I need to have a small surgery, so I can use the turkey baster again. Ok, probably not going to say it like that but I know you girls get it. Sigh. I did have a small wine induced melt down last night, because it all just got to me. We are all going through so much to get one little baby. I may have thrown out there that DH just did not get it bc he does not have to go through with all the procedures. Needless to say that did not go over well. Totally a low blow on my part because a) he physically can't and b) he has to sit on the sidelines helplessly why I go through the procedures. I do oddly feel better after just getting it out there (even though it is irrational), and we had amazing horizontal time to make up for it. I guess all is not lost.

New day and new PMA!

 

[Dandi]

If though you feel it was a low blow, better to have gotten it out than to let it fester. Now you've said, he's heard it, you've dealt with it and moved on. So much better than not sharing your feelings. Definitely an awkward situation to tell your parents, but I think you'll be glad you did. Very similar to what Wish was saying about her mom, my mom said that it helped her to know what was going on because she felt like she couldn't ask any ttc related questions about what was going on in my life because I was being so secretive and it created a bit of a distance. You're right that the surgery is a good time to bring it up, as as any really. Good luck!

This tww sucks. It feels so much harder than the past few months because I have renewed hope. I can't focus on anything. I have so much going on at work that I need to be working on, but I can't stop googling iui success stories, success rates, success rates with progesterone, etc. I need to tuck my crazy back in and get to work!

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, I felt the same way during IUI TWW.

Nothing like getting the show on the road...AHHHHHHHH...surgery is moved to tomorrow instead of Thursday. Not sure I was ready for that.

 

[Dandi]

Oh wow! Talk about not wasting any time. Good luck for an easy procedure and a speedy recovery!

 

[Wish2BMom]

good luck tomorrow, mdc! glad they moved it up!

I agree about the discussion - I feel 1000% better. I even told my mom about our mc in June but the way I presented it, I don't know if she was holding back her feelings or what, but she took it well. Just more of an 'aw, sh*t..' thing and then i explained that it didn't last due to the most common reason ever, the % of women that miscarry is SO common, etc. So I think and hope that I left the conversation as 'she's got this' vs a 'I need to worry about her mental state and need to talk to someone else about it' starting off a gossip ring with my sister. I also told her I was thankful to have had my little bit of time with the lentil (though didn't tell her I nicknamed it) .

and yeah - I have to say that, though DH has his own perspective on these things, he doesn't know what I'm going through - 2 AFs per cycle, bloating, feeling faint or fatigued, my face breaking out, the CONSTANT needles and blood-giving. I mean, he knows but he doesn't KNOW. And I believe the last time I said anything negative about it (I believe it was re: wanting to test early), I got 'you wanted to do this so you need to put up with all that comes with it, including not testing early like they specifically said NOT to do. If you can't handle that, then we should rethink doing this.' So I know if I start to complain about anything else, that's probably the answer I'd get. I really can't argue with it - you can't sign up for this and then complain about how hard it is b/c you KNOW it's going to be hard (I mean, go for it if you're having a sore day or have OHSS or something! we all need to let it out!). So I'm sucking it up and just going with it. It's what we/I signed up for, I knew it was me who takes the brunt of everything in the process. And I'm willing to do it.
Blah.

Got the call from the office, everything looks good! hormones are where they should be, she said I had 'a few on each side' (the tech said 5 total). I go in on Thurs morning for my next scan and then prob every other day after that until retrieval.

 

[Mdc]

Yeah Wish! So excited for you, and I am already crossing everything for you this time for the stickiest of beans...garbanzo, kidney beans, and favs beans.

 

[krasavitsa147]

Mdc-Holy crap, they really aren't wasting any time. I"m sorry you have to go through that-it does seem like you've had more than your fair share lately-but glad they are getting the show on the road. I'll be sending positive vibes your way for a speedy recovery.

Wish-Hooray!! I am so glad you got the news you did-both regarding the medications, and the number of follies!!! That is great news, and the number will probably go up as things progress, right?

Dandi-You never know, maybe you have an overachieving quick implanter on your hands! That's what I'm going with anyway. Keep up the PMA girl, I'm hoping this can be your last IUI too.

Pothole-Sounds like you aren't wasting any time either-you started bcp right around the same time I did. Here's to getting the GD show on the GD road, my friend! I'm glad you're feeling excited. It is an okay way to feel.

Totally get where you girls are coming from on getting the negative feelings out. I read somewhere-I can't remember where-that this whole journey, especially where assisted conception is involved, ups the risk of the marriage breaking up. Resentment does build up if it isn't released. I have the opposite problem, Wish! My DH is if anything too worried and tends to hover. I had to remind him that the only thing I'm taking so far is birth control. God bless him. He's going to be a nervous wreck when injections start, i think.

Speaking of the bcp, i think it is messing me up a bit. Normally, by now (cd 5) AF has tapered off to almost nothing. However, the ol' hag is still flowing strong. Wish, did you ever have anything like that happen? I read that it sometimes happens, but really? Geez.

Hi to the rest of you awesome ladies!

 

[Wish2BMom]

haha - I get excited when DH actually asks how I'm feeling! He tends more to tease rather than show outright concern. If I'm fatigued and falling asleep on the couch at 6:30, he asks why i'm so lazy. I know he's kidding but sometimes it grates on me. Oh well - part of marriage, right?

yes - I think my first cycle, I essentially bled for 2-3 weeks with maybe a quick break in the middle. This time, I had AF, then a break during BCP but still some spotting, then AF again once I started my meds.