38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Dandi]

Wish- no, I didn't really have many symptoms. Just an occasional cramp.

 

[Pothole]

Ellie, it's okay to feel that way sometimes. As long as you don't set up house and live in the bad, a visit there can end up making us more grateful for the good. This is going to happen. And when it does, you will be kinder and more sensitive to others than you could have been before. Very few people in my life know that I want this. Most think that we are childless by choice. I've done nothing to correct that, because I cannot bear their pity. So I get bombarded by baby announcements and no one thinks to be gentle about it. You know, so you will be. You will be kind to the ones you know are struggling and to the ones you don't know about. And that is going to make you a better person, and change their lives, if only for a moment.

 

[Wish2BMom]

well said, pothole. People think we're childless out of choice now too, at least some do. I've started answering the 'are you guys going to have kids?' question with 'if it happens, it happens'. Ugh.

thanks, dandi!

I'm feeling the twinges in the same spot a bit more now. I felt them throughout the night last night and it made me happy. I hope it's not just gas.
oh, and I've had MANY bouts of dizziness. Hoping that hasn't been low blood sugar or anything.
As I noted earlier this week, I'm in Cleveland for a client visit this week - UAT testing for anyone who does this - and it's SUPER stressful! I'm still avoiding the free wine in the lobby, though!! Be proud! Thankfully my coworker I'm with knows what's going on with me so he's super cool about everything. And happy for me to drive home from the Mexican restaurant we went to for dinner after his 2 margs and 1 tall beer. Damn him!!

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, still tickled pink (or blue if that is the case) for you!

Pothole, that was a lovely way to put it. Hope you are doing well with the protocol.

Wish, well duh you are pregnant so I would expect those symptoms No seriously, I think this is it...you are PREGGO with a sticky bean! I remember the dizzy spells you had last time, so I cannot wait for your birthday.

Big hello to everyone else from freezing NoCal. Don't shoot me all of you other tundra people but 45 degree lows are too much for me.

So I am patiently waiting, or not so patiently waiting, for the witch. According to the doc and in my research the earliest it should be here is tomorrow. According to my crazy spreadsheet/scenario list that would be perfect so I can get my cd3 labs before I travel next week, then IUI and off to my sticky BFP. Is it weird that I kind of want to wait until New Year's Day to test? I am so over 2015 being such a crappy year (not all crappy mind you, but I still have a bad taste in my mouth for TTC2015). I guess on the other hand 'when' I get my BFP then it will make me all the more grateful for 2015. Decisions...decisions.

 

[Dandi]

YAY! Hope she shows tomorrow! What an awesome way that will be to bring in the new year.

Wish, the twinges and light headedness sound very promising! I hope that bean is getting nice and cozy in there.

December is about to be a great month in here, I just know it! We need to get lots of bfps and take over the phase 2 thread by storm!

6 weeks today. A few tiny symptoms, but not enough to make me feel really secure in anything. I go back and forth between no appetite at all and feeling ravished, inconsistent queasiness, but nothing I'm prepared to call m/s, sometimes slightly tender boobs, but maybe not. The only consistent thing is that I'm tired, so I'm grasping at that with all of my might as a good sign. No breakthrough bleeding or anything, but I'm scared that the progesterone would mask any spotting that may be happening. Not really sure what to think. I don't really feel pregnant, but I can't make myself feel better by trying to get pregnant either, so I'm just kind of here, blah. My scan is next Wednesday, so I'm just trying to not think about it until we know if something is there or not. While I'm glad that I'm mentally and emotionally prepared for what could happen, I really miss that ignorant excitement that I had the first time. It doesn't feel the same this go round. Not that I'm complaining, just an observation. I keep thinking about the little red shoes that I bought around 6 weeks last time and how I have them hidden in a closet of a spare room. There's no way I'd go out and buy anything for this maybe baby this early. I'm sorry, I know this isn't the place to be saying this and I hope I haven't upset anyone, I just don't have another place to say these things yet.

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, I can only imagine how you feel and just remember you ARE pregnant today and there is no reason to think anything is wrong. I know it is hard and I can only imagine how you are feeling. On another thread someone listed a whole bunch of positive pregnancy mantras and I wrote them down bc I knew they would come in handy. Let me know if you want them and I can PM you.

 

[Left wonderin]

Dani you described me to tee up to bout 7.5 weeks . it ll sounds really good to me

 

[krasavitsa147]

Happy hump day, ladies!

Ellie, as Pothole said, as long as you don't take up permanent residence in the bad place, I think those thoughts are really natural with everything you've gone through. I wish I could give you a hug.

Wish, I like the sound of your light headed spells! Definitely a good sign. I just know you're hosting a sticky bean. That's the worst timing I've ever heard of for free wine, though. Dammit!!

Mdc, hope she shows tomorrow and gets with the program, over there. I think a New Years test would be awesome. Kiss this year goodbye, and ring in a BFP.

Dandi, six weeks already. So excited for you and like Wish, you have a sticky bean in there. I believe in sticky beans for the both of you.

Pothole, how are you doing? Is your lupron going okay? Thinking of you.

Star, glad you're back on the horse. I really do think December is going to be one awesome month for us all!

Left, Sugar, anyone else I missed-hi!

afm, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. Ok, ok, I passed uncomfortable several miles back. Those poor ovaries are working overtime, and I can sure feel them. I have my first u/s tomorrow. Yep, I don't even know how many follies I have yet. Last night was day 6 of stimming. I had another E2 level yesterday morning that came back at 1288. It makes me a bit nervous-I need to back away from the googles as well, I think, and just let things be. I trust my doc, but will be anxious to get some kind of idea how many and how big so far.

Love to all you wonderful girls.

 

[Pothole]

Dandi, I will be excited for you! I understand, I really do, but it all sounds pretty perfect at the moment.
Krasa, what is an E2 level? I'm not due for labs and u/s till Monday.
I started the Gonal F and the Hcg last night. I wanted to be excited, but the news out of San Bernardino was just horrifying. I cried till my eyes puffed shut. I'm not political, and I think that these mass shootings have much more to do with broken minds than with broken politics. But that could have been my school. My husband works with Special Needs adults, that could have been his office party. The thought that even my precious students aren't safe...these children who couldn't tell you what a table is, much less know how to hide under it. These sweet angels, strapped into their wheelchairs and completely dependant on someone else moving them to safety. From the other side of the country, it hit too close to home.
Today I will hold them all a little longer, and squeeze a little tighter.

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh pothole - your post got me so choked and teared up! It is horrible. Things like this often make me 2nd guess (for a moment) about bringing a child into this world. But then you see such a generous announcement from Zuckerberg as well and that gives me a bit of hope. Not only do we need to continue to try to make this a better world for our children, but hopefully our children will also be leaders of that mindset. Sighhhh...

dandi - I know (if i'm preg) exactly how you're feeling. I have let my mind wander, of course, over the next couple of weeks if I'm preggo and I'm really just not going to trust it too much. If I'm feeling the same way as I am now with very little going on (sounds like we actually feel very similarly, dandi, except the nausea), it's going to be hard to carry on without a care! But I try to remember that it's pretty rare to have multiple m/cs, so hopefully we're one and done. Just a note on the progesterone stopping any bleeding - I now tend to think that this won't happen. When I was on crinone last month with my IUI, I still started my full on AF at 14dpo. There was no stopping that sucker. Try to stay calm, love - I can't wait for your scan next week!!

krasa - it sounds like your follicles are going to be superstars!!! I can't wait to hear what the scan shows! pothole - E2 is your estrogen level. I think they want it up over 1k to show that your follicles are maturing.
(to compare, it took me basically my full stimming time to get up that high, whereas Krasa is getting there by day 6!)

mdc - I would not mind living somewhere where 45 degrees was considered far too low. I think you guys might have a colder winter, right? b/c of El Nino? I think ours is just going to be the same. New England, yay! Did AF come today?? I hope so, so it fits your schedule just right. I love your thought about testing on NYD, instead of NYE. I would want to know NYE, though. Yanno, because wine. Yup, local wino here.

Ellie - how are you doing, hon? are you feeling better?

what's the status for you, star?

left - any names picked out yet?

sugar - how about you? have you guys discussed names yet?

afm - still feeling normal here at 10dp2dt. I actually have a lot of energy lately (had no problem working until midnight the other night, AFTER traveling for 8 hrs...I'm usually dead by 8 or 9 on days like that), I have times where whatever I'm eating is just not satiating me so i continue to plow through food. The only niggle I feel is typically at night, laying down, but it's always in the same spot. And the dizziness seems to have subsided for now, but it did for a bit over the weekend too. Oh, and my CP isn't so high, whereas last time it was very high by now. I know each pregnancy is different and I should not compare at all, so I'm really trying not to but it's hard since that's my only point of reference.
WHO KNOWS. I want to call my office and see if I can maybe test on Saturday - that will be 12dp2dt - 14dpo. I mean COME ON. Do I have to wait until 14dp2dt??? that seems silly. And I don't think I will actually bleed that day if AF is waiting b/c I'm also on Estrodial patches and the doc mentioned that those are for stopping bleeding. I'd almost rather not be on those b/c I'd want my body to tell me we aren't preg instead of the nurse on the phone.

And dandi - I also keep trying to remind myself that if we had tried naturally, docs typically wouldn't see us until we'd missed 2 AFs. Or some women have no clue until they've missed a couple. So you're still fairly early in the process.

 

[krasavitsa147]

Hi ladies,

Quick check-in with E2 and follie report. E2 was 2781. 32 follies total, 16 that they measured today:
Left-25, 18, 15, 14, 14, 13, 12, 11
Right-16, 16, 16, 15, 15, 15, 14, 11

They expect numerous others to be in-range by the time we trigger. We should have retrieval Sunday or Monday, so trigger either tomorrow evening or Saturday evening. The doc is considering going up on my menopur till trigger but the nurse will call me back this afternoon and let me know. Another E2 and u/s tomorrow morning. Gah!

More later...

 

[Wish2BMom]

holy COW, krasa!! That's AWESOME!!! I have serious follicle envy at the mo!! So happy for you - you'll have great success with this, i can just tell!

 

[Dandi]

Awesome numbers Krasa!!!

 

[Wish2BMom]

I can test on Saturday!!! she said I could but not to be discouraged if I see a negative. Though I am going to assume a negative is a negative at that point - 14dpo. I'd think it is what it is by then and then Monday, if it's different, it would just be a surprise.

 

[krasavitsa147]

Pothole, I agree completely with what happened. It just makes me sick to see things like that happening. Broken minds...and broken spirits too I think. What kind of a person sees wielding that kind of "power" (I'm using that term very loosely) over an innocent as being okay? I could go on this rant for a while here, but suffice it to say that I'm glad you held the dear sweet kiddos extra tight today. I hope you are able to get excited about your stims soon-it is exciting-and for me it felt like I was FINALLY able to do something about the situation. Granted, the doing something was sticking multiple needles in myself, but I'll take it. I'll be very excited to hear about your check on Monday.

Wish, squee!! So very excited for you to test on Saturday!!!! I'm keeping everything crossed for you, but understand that you have to hope for the best yet prepare for the worst. I'm glad you said that about multiple m/c, I had read that myself and was going to chime in with that. One and done is a good way to think about it! And I am so very very hopeful and positive that both you and dandi will have your LOs by this time next year.
Thanks for your encouragement re: follies. It's funny, I thought that if I got a decent number of them I would feel a lot better. I find I just find other things to worry about. Will DH's sperm fertilize them? Does the high estrogen damage their quality? Sigh. I really need to let go and just let what is supposed to happen, happen. So far I have not been able to do that, even though it has been so out of my hands for a while now.

Mdc, any word from the yet? So hoping she comes through for you and lets you have the timing you want.

Ellie, are you doing okay? Thinking of you, dear.

Star, Dandi, Left, Sugar, anyone I missed-Hi! Hope your Thursday has gone well.

No change in dosages for tonight. Another lab draw and u/s in the morning, and I'll keep you fab ladies posted on what my poor ovaries are showing! There is a definite "sick" feeling from the elevated estrogen. Almost like I have the flu. I have been able to keep up with my hard bike rides so far, so I'm happy with that. My gym has a stationary bike I really like. It's called "Expresso", and it has different courses, with animation of people riding bikes, scenery, etc. When you go down a hill, the resistance automagically lessens. Going up a hill, the opposite. You even have "gears". So it has not been as horrible (not running) as I was afraid it would be. Some of the "extreme" level courses have insane hills, so I've been hitting those. Honestly, I can't imagine what it would feel like to run at this point.

Have a great evening, ladies!

 

[Pothole]

Wowza Krasa! Those are some crazy good numbers! I am excited about Monday too.
Wish, I'm going to be crossing everything for you on Saturday!

For those playing along, here's my protocol from yesterday until Monday. Numbers that day could change dosages.
AM:
Microdose Lupron 20 units
Keflex 500 mg
DHEA 50 mg
Femara 2.5 mg
Prenatal vitamin
PM:
Microdose Lupron 20 units
Low Dose HCG SC 20 units
Gonal F 450 units
Keflex 500 mg
DHEA 25 mg
Dexamethasone. 5 mg
Baby Aspirin 81 mg

Today I had a monstrous headache and upset stomach. I can't tell if it was the meds, the stress of last night, or the stress of today's school wide activity. Guess tomorrow will be a better indication.

 

[Dandi]

Yay for testing Saturday!!! Crossing everything and on the edge of my seat!

Wow Pothole, it's a feat just to keep all of those meds straight. I hope they aren't making you sick.

 

[Pothole]

Dandi, the hardest part is the fact that my cat is diabetic and requires twice daily insulin injections. The Lupron, HCG, Gonal F, and insulin are all kept in the fridge. The Gonal is in an injectable pen, but the other 3 are in very similar vials. I have to prepare all my needles on the dining room table because I am so used to using the island for the kitty's insulin. I talk to myself through the whole process. "This one is lupron. It goes in my stomach. Do not put it down. Do not walk around with it. This does not go in the cat." My poor hubby, he just looks at me and shakes his head.

 

[Dandi]

"This does not go in the cat." Hahahahahaha!!!

 

[Wish2BMom]

hahahahahaha pothole!! poor kitty's going to end up with plumping follicles and mood swings!
your protocol sounds pretty crazy - I've only done 2 meds at a time so far, except for when they threw in the Ganerelix at the end of my first cycle to stop ovulation.

vonn - AF come yet? AF come yet?

krasa - that's awesome that you've stuck with your workouts! I gave mine up for the time being. I only run and do the kickboxing/TRX and all seemed too extreme to do during this time. I don't have a bike and I'm not a fan of just walking, so I'm just waiting. My thighs are not enjoying the downtime.

ugh - so I'm stuck. I WANT to test tomorrow. Hell, I want to test today! But am I messing with the universe that gave me a test date of my bday? Am I completely insane b/c whatever it is on Sat will be what it would be on Mon? Also, and you're going to think I've completely cracked - I woke up with the song 'Wait' by White Lion in my head yesterday. WAIT BY WHITE LION. Who has heard that song recently at all unless you're listening to Hair Nation on Sirius?? And even then, you know they'd more likely play some other random song by White Lion than the most popular one you wish they'd play.

anyway - feeling those little tugs this morning when I stretch up, which is nice. No dizziness for a few days now and the boobs feel fine. I'll probably just stay a mental mess for the day. I should get out to walgreens though in case I decide to test tomorrow with fmu.