38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Pothole]

I'm not sure exactly what my bloodwork showed, but I had 16 measurable follicles over 11. I have another go on Thursday morning at 7:30. For now, my meds remain the same, which I'm fine with, since it means I don't have to order more. I'm still struggling with this Gonal F pen. I know, I mean am *completely certain*, that it's not spring loaded like an epipen. But that clicking...it tears my nerves to shreds. I am more anxious about that injection nightly than I am about the retrieval and transfer.

 

[Dandi]

I had my first scan this morning and there's really a baby in there! We didn't get to hear a heartbeat in the last pregnancy, so it was amazing to say the least. I'm still in shock, I feel like I just really found out that I'm pregnant. Ahhh! I'll be making all future updates about me over on the phase 2 thread (it's still early and I'm scared to jinx it but I'm jumping in!), but I wanted to update you ladies who've been in on it from the beginning. I'll still be around following the goings on here though. =)

 

[krasavitsa147]

Hooray Dandi!! Glad it's finally feeling "real" for you. Thanks for putting updates on the grad thread, I love seeing how everyone is doing.

Pothole, sounds like the stims are definitely doing their job! I know what you mean about the Gonal-F pen. I was using follistim, but I think the pen remains the same. It's like I expected each click to hurt, and was surprised when it didn't. When is your next scan/blood draw?

Wish, sorry I missed your BD-I was really super busy lying around like a vegetable. So sorry about the confirmation of what you already knew. Going with the one in cryo sounds like a good plan-and taking a bit of time completely, entirely away sounds like an even better one.

Mdc, boo for hot flashes. You will be ready for that IUI before you know it! Very exciting times going on!

Ellie, looking forward to hearing about your appointment tomorrow. Best of luck as you meet with them.

Star, Left, Sugar, and anyone else I may have missed-Hi! And happy Wednesday to you.

afm, I am feeling pretty well. Monday was the only day I really, really was uncomfortable. It was less yesterday, and less still today. I have not worked out since last Friday and I am looking forward to that tomorrow morning. We got our fertilization report on Monday, 12 out of the 16 fertilized normally. So on that part at least, we beat the clinic's average (70%). I won't get another update till Friday, when we will know if any/how many made it to blast. I was thinking about that, since a lot of places give a day-by-day or at least day 3 update. Maybe it is best that they don't do that, one less thing for me to stress about. Since we are doing PGS (preimplantation genetic screening-count the chromosomes), we will not know until December 22 if any of the hypothetical blasts are chromosomally normal and appropriate for transfer. So for now, I'm just not thinking about anything baby-related. At all. My goal is to get to Friday, when it shall be time for my glass of wine!!

Love to all.

 

[Wish2BMom]

dandi - HOORAY!!!!! I'm so glad that everything looked good and you're feeling better about things!!!! I've been thinking about you this week.

mdc - so glad you and Clomid are agreeing. I hate hot flashes. I've been getting them for a few years now on my own (and I'm surprised I can't have kids??) - especially at night. Pools of sweat aren't sexy.

krasa - that's awesome!! you'll definitely have a decent number that come back normal. I'm so happy for you.

pothole - that is a fantastic number of follies!!! keep plumping!!

ellie - good luck with your appointment tomorrow!!

afm - i'm doing ok. Busy busy week with work, so I won't be back on until later this week. AF arrived quickly - started spotting yesterday and full on today. So that was nice not to have to wait for that after coming off of Crinone.

I'm about to be late for a meeting - talk to you all later!!

 

[sugargully]

That's wonderful Dandi! Hearing the heart beat makes it so real. If you make the leap to phase 2, I will too. I've been secretely afraid to be so hopeful as to think that I get to belong there. I should have more faith, I know.

 

[Mdc]

Dandi, I am so excited that everything is going smoothly! It is so amazing after the first US and I am so happy you are jumping in. Cannot wait to hear about more updates.

Krasa, enjoy your wine in Friday and that egg number is amazing. The 22nd will be here before you know it and you will be PUPO!!!!

Pothole, great number of follies! Cannot wait to see how many you get.

Wish, so glad you are pulling in Ace. Are you using Ace this month?

Hi to everyone else!

So, just waiting for my plane so I can head home. I am exhausted. I had good meetings, but so ready to be home. I do have one thing that of course I need to just post and move past. So a coworker showed by preggo and due a couple weeks after I would have been, and of course it was an oppsie. She is probably early 30's, but still stung a little. Ahhhh! She is super nice and I am happy for her, but trying to just block it out and not think about it. PMA...PMA is the only thing I can control. Other than that last day of Clomid and the testing for O tomorrow or maybe later today to get my POAS on.

 

[elliecain]

SA numbers excellent (113.9 million, 66% excellent morphology).
All my tests and scans clear, except for TSH (3.5) which will be treated with thyroxine.
My health authority only do assisted conception after 3 years of trying. And on under 40 year olds. I was 37.5 when we started trying. Even though I've paid my national insurance all these years, I'd have to pay to have help and they won't even do that until a year after the cp.
Better hope things start working soon, or I'll be crazy.

 

[Pothole]

Oh Ellie, I am so glad your numbers and your DH'S numbers look so good. I think that now that you know that everything is fine, it's going to happen in no time flat.
Mdc, your PMA has kept me afloat several times. So if you need extra, I'm here believing in this for you.
Sugar and Dandi, I look forward to reading your updates on the graduation thread.
Wish, it's weird to say I'm glad she showed, but I am glad she didn't stall out and make you wait.
Krasa, is there a reason you are waiting till friday for wine, and I missed it?
AFM, I had another u/s and bloodwork round today. Everything is growing as it should be, about 2mm per day. We have 17s and 18s across the board. Next appointment is Saturday morning at 7:30 am where will do another bloodwork and ultrasound and possibly determine trigger day. It's looking like Sunday retrieval is out of the picture which puts me missing possibly 2 days of school in the last week before Christmas break. It's okay, my principal is the most wonderful human being ever, but I feel bad. This is so important, and my RE'S offices doesn't start stims again till Christmas Day so it's not like I could have done the whole 2 week process on breaks. I'm trying not to worry about it.
On Tuesday night, some very dear friends of mine completed their family when they landed at our local airport with their new daughter. I cried happy tears all night and half the day on Wednesday. I want this. I want to feel my child growing inside me. I want to look at my baby and see my husbands insanely blue eyes. But ladies, my heart swelled up and tried to come out of my throat, at how perfect, how right their family is. We are pretty sure after 5 rounds that iui is never going to work for us. And we are only going to be able to afford 1 shot at ivf. But I have so much peace right now. I will be a mother. Growing under my heart or in it, my child is out there. I am honestly so relieved to not be worried about it any more. Love you all!

Edited to add: My peace about the possibility of adoption hasn't diminished my desire for this ivf to work. I reread and felt like it was coming off wrong. Adoption has always been on the table for me. DH has been wary, mostly of birth parents coming back after he's bonded and trying to take the child back. My friends' process took 5 years. I know it's not a quick fix. But seeing them together, it just flipped a switch in me. It took away my doubts that I'd have enough to offer to make up for whatever happened before me. That really doesn't make any sense, either, but it's the best I can come up with at the moment. My brain is tired. Love!

 

[Dandi]

Oh Krasa, I'm so happy for you that you're in such a good place with it all. I have so much hope that this ivf round is going to work for you, but I know exactly what you mean about being at peace with the adoption option. Not that you wouldn't mourn the loss of the hope of carrying your child within you, but it does give a sense of calm when you realize that you're going to be a mother someday no matter which road it takes to get there. Sending you love, hugs, and crossed fingers!

Ellie, that's so great that all of the results are normal! I agree with Krasa, I think it's going to happen quickly now that you know that nothing is physically wrong and you can relax and let your body do what it can do. I know relaxing is easier said than done, but that's exactly what you need right now. Maybe Christmas break coming up is going to set you up for a nice zen bfp! If you feel like you want to do something to help the odds, maybe look into doing the supplements that Sugar was doing when she got her bfp. Can't hurt I guess! So happy that all is ok and wishing you the best luck!

Hey to everyone else!

 

[Mdc]

Ellie, wow amazing numbers for the SA. As for slight hypothyroid, I would say that is a good easy fix. I believe that there is a fair amount of research that shows thyroid level just slightly off can really affect fertility (even some with 'normal' levels can get benefit from a low dose treatment). Are you happy with the doc? Sucks big time about the health authority, but hopefully you can just use of their hospital benefits when you are delivering you perfect little baby in 40 weeks or so

Pothole, you post made me tear up. I KNOW you will be a mom and one of the absolute best moms at that. It sounds like you are in a great place and I cannot wait for your retrieval.

Big happy Friday and hello to everyone!

Afm, stage 2. I start estrogen today and then start it will soon be time to start on the POAS madness and of course some quality horizontal time. Yippee!

 

[krasavitsa147]

Happy Friday, girls!

Ellie, very glad to hear that all the tests came back okay. I agree with Mdc-even just a bit off in thyroid-land can cause issues, so excellent that you're getting that taken care of. And, I totally have SA envy right now. But I must say-the protocol/prerequisites for fertility care seem very odd! You have to try for three years? That just doesn't seem right! Sending you great gobs of positivity-I just know this is going to happen for you.

Pothole, that was beautiful. With a spirit like that, you are going to be one awesome momma-no matter which route takes you there. It sounds like your follies are coming along really well too-looking forward to your update tomorrow.

Mdc, oh yeah. POAS!! Isn't it funny how things like POAS can feel like such amazing progress? Sending all sorts of PMA your way. Get some rest after all that travel and enjoy all the quality time with DH!

Wish, I'm glad she didn't keep you waiting, too. Onward and upward.

Star, Dandi, Sugar, Left, and anyone else I missed-have a great weekend!

afm, got the blast report back a little while ago. We have five that made it to blast, three have been biopsied and frozen. The other two are still a tad earlier in the blastocyst stage, so they want to give them until tomorrow before their biopsies. I named these two Cletus and Joe Bob. They're a little slow. I'll get the final call tomorrow. All in all, I feel pretty good about that part. The docs thought I would probably have 1 or 2 based on my age (39 next month). The next hurdle is the genetic testing. Statistically speaking for someone my age about 50% of day 5 blasts are euploid. So I am hopeful for one or two normal embies.

Love to all you wonderful ladies.

 

[sugargully]

Krasa that sounds like a good update. I hope those embies blow that statistic out of the water! FX for you.

 

[Star2011]

Goodmorning ladies,

I am happy that you are all progressing with your plans. Excited reading about all the good news.

Nothing much going on with me. Its been a busy week at work but am not complaining. Makes time goes quick. I am 6/7 dpo and nothing out of the ordinary to report. Still holding on to hope.

Have a good weekend and looking forward to reading all you ladies progess.

 

[Pothole]

Quick update, scan this morning showed not much growth in follicle size. We have a couple of 19s but nothing bigger. I'll know in an hour or two if my bloodwork requires a recheck tomorrow, otherwise, we are looking at Monday trigger for Wednesday retrieval. We do have a few new late players in the game as my 12+ now number up 21 from 16. Looks like about 9 resting follicles as well that are under 12. I feel like I'm walking funny. I am really feeling the pressure in there. I have a super busy weekend ahead, and hope you all have wonderful, fun, happiness filled ones as well!
Star, good to hear from you! I'm crossing fingers and sending you lots of good vibes!

 

[Pothole]

Back on 11.29 I messed up. I started my microdose Lupron a day earlier than I was supposed to. Turns out, that may have saved my whole protocol. At my scan yesterday, they set plans for Monday scan and bloodwork with trigger Monday night and retrieval Wednesday. But I was almost out of Lupron, so they changed it up and had me back in this morning. I am ready. Like, if I'd waited the follicles would have overstimmed, ready. So we trigger tonight. I have no idea where we'll be when I do it. We are driving to see my sister and her family, about 2 hours away. We'll probably be on the way home, somewhere on the highway. The things we do. Retrieval is 8:45 Tuesday morning! Love to you all!

 

[Left wonderin]

So exciting pothole

 

[krasavitsa147]

Pothole, that sounds like the best kind of mistake. Hope that the trigger went without a hitch, and I'll be pulling for you tomorrow morning! Very excited for you.

Star, I know the feeling with work being a bit crazy lately. But you're right about it helping things move along. Which is good when you're in the tww!

Wish, Left, Sugar, Dandi, Ellie, hope you are all doing wonderfully.

The embryologist called with her final report on Saturday. Cletus and Joe Bob both made it and were biopsied. Apparently they brought another blast to the party that was biopsied as well. I call that one Brandine. We are testing six all told and I won't know anything there until somewhere around the 22nd.

In the meantime, I'm drinking normal levels of coffee and wine.

Love to all.

 

[Mdc]

Krasa, wow, six embies that is great! So, after you get the results how quickly will they be put back in and how many are you going to put back in?

Star, ohhh...TWW! Cannot wait to hear about any symptoms that come up.

Pothole, maybe subconsciously you just knew and made you start Lupron early. Wow, retrieval on Tuesday! It seems like you just started this whole process and it is flying by. Probably not for you though. Good luck!

Wish, how are you doing?

Hi, to everyone else.

Warning, I just had my morning coffee with Peppermint Mocha creamer so I am going to be all over the place.

So I am in the home stretch. Estrogen on board and ridiculous amounts of EWCM. Trying to be stealthy and get some BDing in EOD, but DH knows the IUI will likely be this week so probably not too stealthy. I used to O more like day 16, but with my cycle being so wacky and the meds not sure if it will happen earlier so I am officially POAS mad person. My RE said throw the digis away because they give false positives, and stick with cheapies, so I am going to keep the digi as a back up when I think it is positive (never used the cheapies before). I swear I can feel my right ovary, maybe it is in my head though. I feel different this IUI. Maybe it is because I know what to expect, or maybe bc I know there is now a long way to go if I get a BFP, or maybe I just do not think it will work this time. Sigh. I am really going to try and put the negative thoughts out of my mind because they do not do me any good. I just need to focus on the fact I am doing all I can, and I know that I will get my sticky bean before I know it. Me giving myself a little pep talk...screw the negative thoughts and just be zen and have PMA all the way!

 

[krasavitsa147]

Mdc, once again, it all depends on the witch.

My clinic does batched cycles, meaning stimulation cycles and transfers are only done during certain calendar periods. Next one starts the day after MLK. Now, if the witch is late, like after Christmas, it is likely I will start estrogen to build up my lining nice and thick for a transfer right after MLK. If it starts early, like this week, I will have to wait this next cycle, then start estrogen on CD 1 the cycle after that, which would put transfer late Jan-more likely early Feb. So once again, I'm stuck hoping that the witch is late! But, I don't really know when to expect her this time around.

On how many will be transferred, 0 if we don't have any that are chromosomally normal. If we do, it seems like I remember them saying that they will only transfer one. So I'm just praying that we have something normal to put back.

 

[Star2011]

Goodmorning Ladies,

I know i haven't posted since Saturday. ...... It is flu season and the hospital is so busy. By the time i get home after work i take a shower then go to bed. Glad am off today to catch up.

Mdc- keep on with the BD girl. Glad you are heading somewhere. Screw the negative thoughts! Keep up with the zen. I know you are having lots of thoughts about the IUI and i am just keeping my fx cross that this is it. You are going to have a sticky bean!

Pothole- am so happy for you. Thats good progress. Praying for the best today. Keep us updated.

Krasa- thats a good # of embies. Love those Praying for Cletus , Joe Bob and Brandine. We have a high expectation from them.

Hi to the rest of the group.

Am 9/10 dpo. Other than occasional twinges and one or two acne on my chin( usual before AF) i have no other symptoms. I am not going to test until AF doesn't show up. She is supposed to be here on Saturday/ Sunday. On a side note, a close friend who is 39 got pregnant after trying for 3 years. So there is hope for us all.

Love to you all!