38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[krasavitsa147]

Happy Tuesday, girls.

Ellie-Glad that things went well today. I think you did the right thing by going for it.

Mdc-praying for the best news tomorrow. Keeping everything seriously crossed.

Wish-I hope that the IVF gods are kind, and for once, AF does what we need/want her to do. That is one crazy complicated protocol you are on! I would not be able to keep it straight! Enjoy the lack of shots while you have it!

Chipie-Hah! I make lots of follicles, I just don't know how good the eggs inside the follicles are. I would totally take just one good one over the many bad ones I've gotten before.

Pothole-I feel you. You are due for some good luck, but I completely understand being afraid to feel and have hope. How incredible is it that it went from needing surgery to just...gone though. Very incredible. I am praying for you with your FET.

Star-Hoping that you have a good number of blasts to biopsy. Is today day 5 for them, or 6?

Sugar, Left, anyone else I may have missed-Hi! And I hope your week is going well.

Here, I got the fert report on Saturday, and 13 fertilized normally. so that's one more than last time. I won't know the total that made it to biopsy until Thursday, although I'll get a call tomorrow as they do biopsies on days 5 and 6. I am feeling very detached from this IVF. The only emotions I've felt are grief-I just have a feeling it is going to be another strikeout. There were things different about this cycle, but many things were similar (number of follicles that were empty, length of stimulation, etc). When I had my WTF appt, the doctor showed me a chart of women in my age group with the number of blasts I had. And only 3% of those women would have had zero euploid embryos like we did. 3%. So there is a part of me that thinks that if I was in that tiny percentage to begin with, there was a reason, and it's probably still there. And that thought carries a lot of grief with it. So right now, I'm doing the things that made me "me" before ttc-crazy intense workouts, training for a 5K next month, two cups of coffee a day, skim milk instead of full fat dairy, etc. I gave up so much because I was afraid it would hurt our chances to get pregnant. It hasn't helped, so I'm taking myself back.

I hope I don't bring a negative spirit-just some stuff rattling around my head.

 

[elliecain]

Krasa, it's so good to hear from you. As has been said to Pothole, while you can't feel the overwhelming optimism, we will do that for you. You deserve a break and I reckon it's your time xxx

 

[Mdc]

Ellie, so glad it went well and hope you are feeling great! Sorry about having to stay overnight.

Chipie, I have a meditation Ttc cd also. I really should bring that out again.

Krasa, so glad 13 embies fertilized and that is the first step. I understand about not wanting to be positive, but I will be positive for you. I know it seems like the same circumstances, but every chance is different just like every pregnancy is different. Good things will come. I am so glad you are back doing things for yourself. Ttc can be a b*#ch and take over everything, and you deserve this time to be about you.

 

[Star2011]

Thinking about you all at every stage of this process. We will get there one day. Krasa, Pothole, Wish, Mdc, Chipie, Ellie, Fi and of course the ones who are always cheering for us Left, Dandi and Sugar, you are always in my thoughts.

I cant write more at the moment. We are in the middle of a snow storm and the power have been going off and on for the past 2 hrs. I just wanted to stop by and update quickly on my embies. Day 6 for them today, 7 made it to be biopsy. Now the hard part of waiting........

 

[elliecain]

Star, that sounds really good! Come on embies

I didn't have to stay in over night in the end. I ate, weed and my sats were good so they let me leave at 10.30 with some codeine and other nice meds! I'm home and watching some tv to unwind before bed.

Thanks for all the support and nice comments xxx

 

[Chipie]

So I reckon we've got 20 embies cooking at the moment. Krasa's 13 and Star's 7. Go Team! Plus maybe a cheeky little one with you MDC, any news? We're flying!

Ellie, how are you feeling today? Any pain?

I fell asleep in the middle of my hypnosis cd last night and missed half of it. Oh well, try again tonight. Slept amazing though

 

[elliecain]

Chipie, you'll still have heard the bit you slept through. Subliminal learning is meant to be really effective, so I'm sure subliminal hypnosis is too. My best guided meditations are the ones I've not heard the end of yet, despite listening to them multiple times!!!!

Mdc... !!!!!! I'm so full of hope for you! Edit: I've just noticed you've put "on a break" above your profile pic and I don't remember seeing it before. I really hope things are ok. Lots of love to you, my lovely girl

Afm, I woke up pain free and quite chirpy. I've just done some school work and I feel exhausted and a bit grim. Might go back to bed. I'm a bit crampy and still bleeding and the left side of my face is burning hot. I'm going to check my temp and ring the hospital if it gets too high, because it might indicate infection.

I'm so excited about next cycle! Mr Akande said it will most likely start as usual and I can use the Clomid straight away. We are going to put my follow up scan and appointment off until cd12ish, so we can do a follie/lining check too and discuss next steps. Can't wait!!!

 

[Wish2BMom]

Mdc – I KNOW!!! 4 days!! Re: the crinone – this last time I got AF 4 days later (was taking 2x/day). But one time AF started on her own even though I was on it (Nov/Dec cycle). So it extended my LP but didn't stop AF. Thanks for bringing the anti-witch ju-ju, I’ll need it. Oh, and I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR YOUR RESULTS TODAY!!! GOOD LUCK!! FX’ED

Ellie – I’m glad you’re through with the procedure and you got to head home last night. Rest up, time to TTC! Oh, just caught up to your note – try not to push yourself too much, lady! You just got home last night! And I am SOOO excited you can start up right away too – wooooo!

Left – ugh, so sorry your house has been sick! I hope you’re all on the mend now!

Chipie – the patch is an estrogen clear patch that you stick on either the top of your butt or your belly. Like a sticker. I guess it has estrogen on/in it and I absorb it. And great memory – I’m Michelle!
Did you try your hypnosis cd yet? Oh, just caught up and read that you were lulled into a sleep! That’s awesome! Maybe I’ll get one and have my cat use it. She’s had us up at 2:30am for breakfast feeding at 3 lately. And then treats in a couple hrs. And then…I just think she hates seeing us sleep.

Krasa – thank you! I guess it’s not as complicated as the paperwork had laid out. I don’t need to do the antagonist shots, so it’s just a patch until I stim. But then I have to keep that last patch on until it falls off! Do you know the sticker lint outline I’m going to have on me?? Re: the 3% - I was thinking the opposite about this – if you were in that rare of a circle before, what are the chances of you being there again? I hope you get some muuuuuch better news this time. But I love that you are going back to ‘you’ – enjoy life the way you want to. I think you’re right, the little changes we make really don’t do much and may cause us more stress than anything. If you’re being you, then you are more carefree and confident! All things your little embies need you to be!

Star – you’re so sweet. You guys would think I’m nuts if you knew the number of times I think about you/us and our journeys throughout the day. So happy 7 of your embies made it to biopsy – you have a wonderful chance at a few being good!! I hope they all are!!

Nothing going on here. Lost a couple pounds over the past few days, which is good. Apparently the key is to have a healthy dinner (well, smart choices throughout the day) and then not eat again afterwards. The 6-8pm timeslot is the worst as far as wanting a snack. 1lb a day so far. I can do this!! I want to try to get to kickboxing today, I stupidly said I would go to CrossFit with a friend at 5:30am tomorrow, then I have Friday off for KB again and then Saturday too! I’m going to be so skinny when I see you, Mdc! Jet-lagged, but skinny!

 

[Mdc]

Ellie, good catch. That was an impulse change the sat I had the spotting. Nah, still trying Glad you got to go home and enjoy your recoup day!

Star, that is amazing! Testing and then PUPO before you know it.

Wish, just make sure you are not so skinny when you turn to the side you disappear.

Hi to pothole, Krasa, Fi, and anyone else...especially the stalking preggos.

Well good news is wine is on the table when Wish and I meet up. So, you know the bad news BFN this morning. Kind of expected it with the crazy cycle, bleeding on the Sat after, zero symptoms...however still disappointed. I am waiting to get my confirmation blood draw like a good patient, then definetly a pity party with some wine later, and then back to planning for next cycle. IUI and Follistim. DH is leaving for a work trip tomorrow until next Wed so it will give me plenty of time do some research, cook lots of healthy meals, and find some gosh darn PMA! I am determined this next cycle is it.

 

[elliecain]

You and me both, Mdc. I'm really sorry for the neg.
I'm due AF next Wednesday, so we should be quite close bump buddies. Enough waiting for us both, this is our times!!!

 

[Wish2BMom]

ah crap, mdc - I was hoping to have a solo wine on Sun! It is nicer with a bud, though, but I wish it was for different reasons. Boo.

And don't worry, I'll probably poof up on the flight and be all bloated and gross. Why do they give you the saltiest snacks possible on these flights?! I'm going to have to bring my own stuff.

 

[Chipie]

MDC, soooooo sorry it wasn't the result you were hoping for. I was really down this month when I found out, so I hope you're doing better than I was. I'm totally fine now tho so it really does pass and we pick ourselves up and carry on don't we.

Ellie how are you feeling today? Are you back at work?

Krasa, any news of biopsies?

Seems like we're ALL in waiting mode now. Something BIG is going to happen, I'm sure of it!

I started reading a few success stories of people who got pregnant in their 40s in an attempt to balance out my thoughts with positiveness. One thing that did strike me about these stories was that a lot of the women fell pregnant without trying. Now I'm not suggesting that we all stop trying but I think it demonstrates that your mind has a lot more power over your body than we realise. Basically we have to be chilled, it will happen for us

 

[Mdc]

Thank you. I really thought I would be a little more upset than I was, but maybe it is just expected because of the funky cycle. So now just waiting for AF and we should be set because my Follistim gets here on Friday.

On other news I am going with a friend from college to a Mac and Cheese restaurant tonight that I have been dying to try. Felt too guilty getting it for myself and DH, but now that my friend wanted to hit it up I cannot say no right?

 

[Wish2BMom]

you definitely can't say no to that and if they have it, go with chicken parm mac 'n' cheese. We have a place around here called Mr. Mac's and they have like 20 different kinds. I'm SO glad it takes a bit to get there and I'm lazy otherwise I'd be an addict.

chipie - you know, as much as I would like to think that would happen for me, I don't think it would b/c of my DOR. One never does know, though, of course. So it's nice to think that the only key is to us chilling out and not thinking about it! Too bad I'm obsessed! hahaha

krasa - updates on your embies?

ellie - I hope you're feeling better today.

Star - you won't get another update for, what, a week or so?

still nothing going on here - yep, just waiting. I am actually going to work tomorrow - boo. I wanted to take the day off but I have to prep for my onsite in CA with the client. Whatevs. Mani/pedi on Saturday then, before my BIL/SIL get here. I'm bummed b/c I was really looking forward to it, but I'll just take it next Fri after my loong flight home and it will be a for-real 3 day weekend.

 

[elliecain]

Yum, my DH makes a delicious macaroni and cheese

I had a second day off work today. Was going to go to the parents' evening tonight, but really didn't feel up to it. I've spent quite a bit of the day asleep and I've been allowed a late start tomorrow, as I have 2 frees first thing. I'm not looking forward to leaving the house, but I know I need to and I only have 2 lessons.

I can't wait for AF... I never thought I'd say that!!! I want her to start so I can start my Clomid and get into my baby's cycle! Now I don't have a stupid alien taking up the room, there is no reason it won't work next month Bring on an April bfp and a Christmas baby! If my cycle is regular, my due date would be 14th December, the date DH and I had our first date.
I'm temping because there might not be much bleeding, so I may need to judge new cycle by temps as well. I can't imagine there's any blood left inn me by now...

Sorry this post has been very me, me, me. I hope everyone's ok and looking forward to a lovely weekend. It's "Mothering Sunday" in the UK so we'll be going to my parents' on Sunday as DH doesn't really get on with his mum.

 

[Wish2BMom]

ellie - it's crazy having this love/hate relationship with AF, huh? haha! I hope AF comes swiftly for you and I'm loving your PMA about next cycle. I didn't even realize that BFPs next month would be Christmas babies! Fingers crossed for all of us. Enjoy your Sunday with your mum as well. I should Facetime mine soon.

I'm sure I'll be on a few times today...I have a 6-8-hr long e-learning thing to do today, I'm sure it's going to be riveting.

I hope you're all well!

 

[Chipie]

Also loving the PMA Ellie, yes it's definitely your time. Xmas babies all round.

I hate af with a passion. I shouldn't though, if she didn't come at all then aside from being pregnant there'd be something seriously wrong.

Trying to think of something interesting to tell you to entertain you Wish but failing miserably. Very boring day here although the sun is shining and I'm going to go for a run. I feel like if I write it on here then I'll definitely have to do it, ha

Mothering Sunday on Sunday and of course we have to spend it with df's Mum because mine lives 5 hours away

 

[krasavitsa147]

Happy Friday girls,

Wish, your e-learning sounds like my online harassment prevention training I have to do once every three years. Mostly just a two hour nap until I realize it's finished and take the quiz we have to take over it.

Mdc, sorry about your news. But it sounds like you are in the right frame of mind about it, not that it makes it suck any less. Bring on the follistim! It really is easy peasy if you are using the pen.

Ellie, glad that you are feeling better and also glad you took a second day and late start. You'll be back on your feet and trying out your clomid in no time flat.

Star, that is a very, very good number to biopsy. Google reprogenetics blastocysts by age and you should find the same chart my doc went over with me. It lists the % normal blasts by age and stuff. Very interesting stuff! I'm calling for either 3-4 normals for you. That's your whole family right there in one cycle!!!!

Sugar, Left, Dandi, Pothole, Chipie and anybody else I skipped over: Hi! We're almost to the weekend!!

Here, a bit disappointed. There were only three blasts to biopsy this time, all of which took till day 6 to reach the blast stage. I am trying to keep in mind that it's better than none and that statistically speaking...Eh, bite me, statistics. I'm sick of your sh*#. And this coming from the woman for whom calculus is the drug of choice.

Have a great weekend, girls.

 

[Mdc]

OMG, creamy Gouda macaroni with bacon the day before your period is heaven.

Krasa, yeah, statistics can suck a big one as far as I am concerned. However your three embies are rocking it! When do you hear the results?

Chipie, enjoy Mothering Sunday.

Ellie, I hope the witch gets here quickly.

Wish, I have a hate relationship with online trainings. Especially when they get smart and make you was a slide for a certain amount of time before you can go to the next.

Hi to everyone else!

So I am officially CD1 today, with cramps like no bodies business. Since it is rainy here just taking an easy day off from the gym, ordered some Pho, and just chilling waiting for UPS to deliver my meds. I am so paranoid for some reason there will be a delivery snafoo, but it is tracking it is out for delivery and I like our UPS guy (fedex guy sucks).

Happy Friday/Saturday to everyone. Wish and I will make sure to toast everyone on Sunday!

 

[Star2011]

Mdc- Damn AF. On flip side you will have wine with Wish. I ll probably have one or two this weekend too.

Wish- enjoy your trip and your e-learning. We do those almost every week! There is always something evidence based practice in nursing we have to be aware of. I enjoy my e learning Have fun with Mdc. At least you have something to look forward too before starting stims and all that.

Ellie- Glad procedure went well. Yay for Christmas baby. Love the PMA too. Enjoy Mothering Sunday

Chipie- I love reading about success stories too. They give me hope. You too enjoy Mothering Sunday

Krasa thanks for the stats. You had 3, thats great. It only takes one. I am hoping for the best for us both.

Nothing much going on with me. Its been a busy week at work. Night shift is kicking my butt. I used to like it but i guess with age am getting tired of it. Even though, i can say night shift was easy with monitoring during stims coz i never had to ask for a day off. I just went in the morning after my shift. Well, In 2 wks we will know more about my embies. In the mean time we are getting ready for FET. Just being optimist. I will do my one time Lupron IM in a a few days here then wait for AF, then will do estradiol patches. I will have more update next week.

Happy Weekend!