38 and TTC first baby, anyone else?

[Wish2BMom]

thank you for your super-secret fairy dust, left!! So glad you're having some lovely weather. All the rain must make for some lax days. Though I don't mind rain at all. I like to run in it (keeps me cool), the sound, the smell. I am Irish at heart, of course. And a little in blood.

ellie - 3 more days!!

mdc - ok so today is day 5 - need to see how many of those 7 made it to BLAST!! I can't wait! your schedule sounds awesome. Maybe I'll get to be in the TWW with you and Ellie!!

 

[Mdc]

Wish, any sign of the witch?

Ellie, so close!

Left,

So my RN said no call today and they want to give me the final report tomorrow. Ahhhhh!!!!!!! I am sure that is good so I won't get paranoid knowing some were frozen and day 5 and stress about those we have to watch until day 6. The anticipation. I guess if things were going down the crapper they would call and talk about a transfer and not freezing them, but the anticipation. Good thing I have acu today! I just have to believe they are all doing splendidly.

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh acu, how I miss you! I should set up another appt soon.
One more sleep and you'll hear! and it does sound like things are going really well - I'd think at this point they'd ask about a transfer too, if some didn't make it to day 4 or whatnot.

nah, no sign of the witch yet. It's only 8dpo, though. I don't usually get many signs. Also, no pregnancy signs, so I'm sure she's on her way.

 

[Left wonderin]

I am in desprete need of a make over !! Its finding the motivation and the time !!!! This needs to include , a trip to the hairdressers , nails salon , new summer clothes finally to get me out of maternity leggings and to sign up for some gym classes and go swimming ..... Writing the list itself is exhausting lol.....

 

[Wish2BMom]

left! you need to TREAT YO'SELF! it's the best day of the YEAR!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsABTmT1_M0

 

[elliecain]

Bwahahaha, that was funny!

I'm feeling sad tonight. Not sure why, just struggling with hopes and fears. As it gets closer, I get more excited but the fear also grows. I know you girls understand.

 

[Star2011]

Wish- Hahahaha. That was funny. I am still holding hope for that bfp. If not, I am holding hope for the IUI

Left- Treat yo'self! It is allowed. Hope you do it soon.

Mdc- I am loving the report. Keep on doing your thing Follies! I am soooo excited.

Ellie- I am sorry you are feeling sad. That is expected. Ttc and is very emotional, especially if your going through the assisted route. You are unsure if it is going to work or not. I will just encourage you to be optimist and know that you did all you could to make it happen. I had the same fears...i still do sometimes. I am sure all of us do. We are all in this. Sending positive thoughts to you.

Nothing much happening with me. I have this evening off from work so will try and cook something. DH has been doing all the cooking of late and I need to give him a break.

Hope you all have a good evening.

 

[Mdc]

Ok, I need a quick rant to get this negativity out of my system. I went to go pick up my wine club from the place up the street and the owner who I love and is so cute is preggo. I am happy for her but damn it kind of hit me how jealous I am. I know I do not know their story, and I get more mad at myself because that was my knee jerk reaction. Course DH is like I thought we were trying to be positive. I said trying is the operative word.

Ok, I feel better now and back to optimismland. Had to get it out though.

 

[Mdc]

Ellie, sorry for the sad day and I agree this is a lot of pressure so I would worry anyone was totally happy go lucky!

Wish, omg where do you get these gifs! And day 8...well I sure as hope the witch is far far away.

Hi everyone else!

 

[elliecain]

Mdc, I think it is totally normal for that to give you a wobbly. It's so hard seeing bumps and babies. We will get there. We will be responsible for others' jealousy! In a way, that's why I'm open about my infertility and IVF, because when I do have a bump, people will know it was hard fought. It generally feels less bitter to know someone went through all this to get there.
So, you find out today! Then it's just waiting for the test results. I'll catch up with you soon!

 

[Left wonderin]

Ellie your post reminded me of something , after my mmc @12 weeks I was at a hen ( batchlorette party ) a couple of months later . At it was a girl with a beautiful bump who turns out was due the same month I would have been . Had to spend the whole weekend with her with people asking when she was due ect ,, I couldn't take my eyes off her and was green with envy . All I could think was that should have been me you can take it I didn't enjoy that party !!

Fast forward two year where I was at another pre wedding hen only this time I was the one with the bump ! I remember thinking on the hen that I didn't know that it was possible someone at it was now looking at me thinking I wish that was me .. I've never forgotten that and still can feel the feelings . Your post just brought it right back to me ..

 

[Wish2BMom]

ellie - yup, like the girls said, it's ok that you have these fears. You're taking this wonderful new step to get your baby but it's overwhelming and daunting and all that. And, and I hope I'm not putting thoughts in your head or anyone's head, you also know that lots of other ways haven't yet worked so you're at this point now. It's tough. BUT, you have to be (and I know you are) hopeful that this is the answer for you. And it will be!! We'll have faith for you, feel free to work through all of the emotions that come to you.

mdc - I can relate too. It's all I can do not to sigh and roll my eyes when I see someone pregnant, especially someone I know for some reason. I think I mentioned that jewelry party I had to go to a couple of months ago. A couple was there that we're actually going to be going to Bar Harbor with in July and they announced to me that they were preg a 2nd time. Immediately, I was like 'DAMMIT!' but I also am well aware, to your point Ellie, of their 2 yr battle with infertility before they were lucky enough to conceive their first. They had no idea they'd have ANY luck having a 2nd and were thankful for one. So I was actually quite happy for them. But that's not how I am with everyone, for sure!

left - that's so insightful of you. You just never know what's going on with other people...

 

[elliecain]

Thank you lovely friends

Mdc any news yet?

 

[Mdc]

Well hell. Only 2 made it and they took to day 6 to biopsy. Needless to say I am pretty bummed. I know I should be happy with 2 but with genetic testing still to come it is not looking good. Infertility you can go suck the big one.

 

[elliecain]

That's so unfair, after they were doing so well at first. I know it's not great, but you do still have 2 little ones fighting. Fingers crossed they pass the tests and you get one in and a frostie for later.

 

[Star2011]

I am sorry Mdc. Those two are survivors. Only one of mine survived and she is still with me. I pray for good news. Can you do a fresh transfer? I do pray for the best.

IF sure does suck. BUT we have to keep on being hopeful.

 

[Wish2BMom]

I hear you, mdc. But think of this - those 2 made it to DAY 6!! that's strong. I really hope they both test out fine and you do have one to transfer and one to keep on ice.

 

[Wish2BMom]

no miracle BFP this month - starting to get tinted CM like every month. Oh well. Letrozole, here we come!

 

[Mdc]

Thank you all! I do feel better today. Looking online I should feel there is hope even if the ratings are not perfect they are average, and often a perfect rating does not necessarily mean genetically normal.

DH and I did not have a great night. So I was upset most of the afternoon and then had a glass of wine, and sat on the deck to gain some perspective. Felt better and calm so I went inside, and now DH had a drink and said I was just out there sticking my head in the sand. He got more upset (see DE note below) and I was trying to be in a better mood. Definitely we do not process on the same schedule. Once he gets in a foul mood there is not much to save the evening so he went to bed at 9. Oh well, and today is a new day.

So now we wait until Thursday morning when I talk to my doc. If it is not good news we will figure out a next step. Honestly with I stimmed perfectly (no too quickly) and until day 3 things were stellar so it appears to be a quality issue. Not sure if another round would be any different. I know I knew this could happen, but I do think docs should really spend time level setting the goal of one IVF cycle is one baby. I had pie in the sky thoughts of one baby and multiple embies on ice. I even thought about donor eggs, but DH was not to happy with me for making that jump. My thought is 1) there is finite dollars we want to put at this 2) egg quality does not improve over time 3) why just go through more heartache and time. Guess I am hoping we do not need to even consider that decision yet, but I am going to research in case the doc feels like another round would not be optimal for us.

 

[elliecain]

Mdc, It's just so tough and DHs really need to be a bit more understanding. Mine has been a lot better since we found out about his antibodies, but it doesn't change the times he's been downright unfair. Yours seems a bit like mine and it can be hurtful. We do love them, but they need to be a bit more understanding.
I'm still optimistic about your 2 blasts.

Wish, I'm sorry it didn't happen but bring on the new meds!

Afm, I've had a killer headache for 2 days and it's really bad right now. I'm not sure if it's the down regs or the removal of my last caffeinated drink, but it's nasty. I'm being scanned at 14.40 tomorrow, so 9.40am with you lot. Please think of me and pray for no polyp.