3rd Cycles A Charm??♤♡ Wishing on a star ♧◇ TTC BABY #2

[RainbowBaby13]

I totally get that fear. The comfort zone is such a safe place. I have to force myself out of my comfort zone and remind myself that everything I've achieved in my life has only come from stepping out of my comfort zone. It's not easy at all and there's a lot of fear to fight through but you can do it. The mind is such a powerful thing and can convince us we are not good enough

I also understand not being present. I still struggle with this and am often living in the future. Usually worrying about the future or even just counting down until bedtime!

Thank you so so much I needed to hear that. I'm struggling bad with staying present and stepping out of my comfort zone. Thank you so so much. Definitely will be taking your advice

...

Yesterday was so frustrating! Almost got into it with the "supervisor" at my former job because he said I wasn't doing my job when I was. He's not really the supervisor, but he is the one in charge overnight since he is the nurse. So he oversees everything including the caregivers, understandably . HOWEVER, I have a serious problem when you are still treating me like an employee and telling me things like " I should know better" since I use to work here and how I have to train the new employees coming in and show them the company's way of doing things excuse me? Im not a child and you aint my daddy so don't be talkin to me like that. I don't work for yall anymore so I don't HAVE to do anything. Unless you are personally coming out of your pockets and paying me or the company is, don't talk to me he just kept going on and on and wasted the last part of my lunch complaining. And he was lying so much in what he saying that he was stumbling over his own lies. That's why when I did work there me and him use to get into arguements. That man is deranged and a narcissist. He also said communication only occurs when he responds back to us. So even if we let him know something over the radio (aka communicating),, if he doesn't reply then we didn't communicate with him. In what world does that make sense this man is living in Narnia lol. Also if he is on the wrong channel on the radio and can't hear us its our fault. Then he said he has to assert his position over us. What a whole clownThese are all his words. That man is crazy. Thennnn.. almost got into it with someone who is working there thru the same staffing agency as me. Crazy frickin night. It's safe to say that I hate it there


Outside of me hating my job, I really am doing great haha. I know, hard to tell it's just the job that has been my main source of irritation haha.

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Hopefully soon I'll have some positive news to share. I've been posting a lot of negative things lately. Hopefully I get this job on Thursday ( I'll actually be employed with this company and not just a temporary employee ) because if I have to work another shift at my former job and deal with these people ima snap lol

 

[Bevziibubble]

That man sounds like a nightmare. I've been around narcissists before and they're the most infuriating, manipulative nasty people ever. You just can't reason with them and they'll never see that they are in the wrong. It's so frustrating for those that have to be around them

I'm glad things are going OK outside of your job

 

[NightFlower]

He sounds ridiculous if you ask me. Glad things are better when your not working. Hope things turn around and start looking up.

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Thank you ladies!! Yes, definitely hard working under him. Last night was horrible I was talked about so badly and heard people whispering about me. To sum it up, people at my former job contacted their manager about me being there last night and then her manager contacted my current job and told them to not assign me there anymore. I do not understand why they care so much about me being there or why that is such a hot topic in the office. Then the same person who contacted her manager about me was literally shouting to everyone in the office what company I was working for and how long I've been working there this morning as she was clocking in and I was clocking out. And when they thought I walked away that's when they started whispering about me.

Needless to say I'm not going back and I'm leaving the staffing agency as well. Im not dealing with that drama or level of pettiness.

I have my interview tomorrow for another facility-- great pay, location, etc. So I'm looking forward to that. I'm also still applying for remote jobs on the side.

I feel pretty down and a bunch of emotions but I guess it's a lesson learned on my end that I gotta be careful with what I tell people and people will smile in your face and then talk about you like a dog when you aren't around. People secretly hate on you and want you to fail for whatever reason.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Wow what a horrible bunch of people. You have done the right thing to leave. You don't have to deal with that when you go to work

I hope the interview goes well. It sounds like a good job, so fingers crossed for you

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Thank you, Bev

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Trying to be more positive has been hard for me lately. Between all this job stuff its really been getting to me. I'm happy that we will be ttc soon but I dont even feel confident about that. I wasn't able to go to my interview because on the way there I realized that it was a lot farther than I thought and then my hours at the other job arent doing so great either. So i'm not too sure about much anymore. I almost wish I would have stayed at my other job at this point because at least it would have been constant hours with decent pay.

I'm so over everything at this point. It just feels like there are always obstacles in my way. As soon as things start getting better here comes a whole bunch of other problems

 

[Bevziibubble]

it sounds like you are going through a lot lately. Hopefully things calm down soon

 

[RainbowBaby13]

Thank you so much, love.

I got my hours approved for the next week so that's a relief. I know that they NEED people to cover these shifts at my former job, so if they would deny me working there that would be so petty. One of my former coworkers told me that other caregivers are having problems there too, including the people who are being staffed there through the same agency that I work at. They act like they have a whole bunch of people that they can have work for them, but they don't, which is why they are using companies to have them staff people there. You would think they would treat their employees and temporary staff much better being that temporary staff could potentially become actual employees But nope, they are biting every hand that feeds them. NOBODY wants to work for this company because of management and trust me when I say that is no exaggeration.

My worries are not that I won't get staffed there by my job, but that my old job won't approve it. But, I guess if they have been approving the last couple weeks then moving forward it shouldn't be a problem. However, my job wanted me to pick up an extra shift but my old job didn't approve it (yet). I don't understand why they would approve my other hours, but not the extra shift. Honestly, I just feel like they don't want to give me all the hours because they feel some kind of way about me leaving and coming back through another company where they know I make more and they don't like me lol. I don't NEED the extra shift but I don't mind picking it up for some extra money. So if they don't approve it I'm not really trippin off it. I just don't get how they are saying they need people, but then turn down people who are willing to work.

Anyways,

I'm so excited because we are getting closer to ttc!!! My husband bought me the ovulation tests and the mucinex and that will be here Friday, which I'm happy about so that way once Af ends I already have what I need and there won't be any time delays. What do I start testing using the opks and what time during the day? When I wake up?

 

[Bevziibubble]

That's great your hours have been approved for next week.
Your old company sounds awful, very bad management

Yay, that's exciting you're closer to ttc!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

That's great your hours have been approved for next week.
Your old company sounds awful, very bad management

Yay, that's exciting you're closer to ttc!

Thank you!!

Very bad. I'm not sure how that place is still standing. I give it a year before it shuts down I'm gonna try and stop talking about my job so much since it is always almost super negative and long and it makes me feel like I am annoying yall haha.

 

[RainbowBaby13]

The closer we get to ttc the more scared I get. I was like that with my son. He was planned but when I saw the positive test I was terrified lol

 

[Bevziibubble]

It's not annoying at all. Vent away!

It's understandable you're starting to become more scared the more real it feels!

 

[RainbowBaby13]

It's not annoying at all. Vent away!

It's understandable you're starting to become more scared the more real it feels!

Thank you so much!! I just be feeling bad that you have to read all of that haha. It's so so long lol

That's very true!!! Great point!! I couldn't figure out why I was getting so scared but you definitely described it perfectly

My old job didn't approve my extra shift.. that's fine. I don't even want to go for the days that did get approved. I'm dreading going back. I've been searching so hard for jobs that fit my specific needs. It's so frustrating!!! I just wish I could be a stay at home mom and not have to worry about it haha

I pray that ttc will take my mind off of things because im emotionally and mentally so tired. Sigh.

 

[Bevziibubble]

your old job sounds awful and they sound very unprofessional!
I hope ttc will help take your mind off it

 

[RainbowBaby13]

your old job sounds awful and they sound very unprofessional!
I hope ttc will help take your mind off it

They definitely suck smh. I never thought management anywhere could be this bad. And thank you

 

[RainbowBaby13]

I applied to a job about a day ago and heard back today. I completed the video interview and praying I pass to the second, and what I presume to be, the final interview which will be held over the phone. I'm praying that I get it and really excited about this job opportunity! It's for a remote non-phone job which would be perfect for me. Please yall if you pray please pray that I get this job in the name of Jesus


Last night at work was better,, but still annoying. I was working with someone that I actually trained when I was still an employee at my old job. Since I was working in a whole new department and building she actually had to train me. She barely even trained me and tried leaving me to work by myself numerous times knowing that I didn't know what I was doing. When we use to work together I use to help her out a lot so I would have thought she would have considered that and reciprocated it. But.. she didn't. All she and the other employees did was take jabs at me regarding my weight saying I'm too skinny and have no figure, my personality saying I'm too nice, and my cleanliness ( they think I'm a clean freak. Which I am at work because in this type of field why wouldn't you want to take the proper precautions? ).

And then she was in an attitude with me because I had to clock out on time and she was mad that I couldn't stay and help when she started her last round at 5:30 am and we're supposed to clock out at 6? I feel as though she is jealous because she wanted to work for the company I work for but she wasn't able to so I feel she was being a hater. I don't like using that word at all because not everyone is hating on you or jealous and sometimes I feel like when you call someone a hater it comes off as vain and like your full of yourself lol idk, but in this case it fits the situation perfectly. I didn't consider her a friend but she referred to me as one, but I never had a problem with her so seeing how she was treating me was disappointing.

But oh well.. I'm not surprised and for reasons like this is why I don't call people my "friends". Even my best friend in real life I still struggle with calling her a friend because I've been hurt badly by them so referring to anyone as one is extremely hard and I keep my guard up always. It's a defense mechanism taken to the extreme.

I just don't understand the child-like mindsets of these so called adults.

 

[RainbowBaby13]

I get body shamed so much regarding my weight and it really does upset me. I get body shamed more than I did when I was bigger, which is crazy to me! Since I've lost the weight almost 2 years ago I always hear how

• I look sick
• I look like a crack-head (sorry if that term offends anyone, I mean no disrespect and simply saying what I've been called)
• I'm starving myself
• I need to eat
• Don't lose anymore weight
• I need to gain weight
• I have no figure
• There's barely any food on my plate
• I barely eat
• I need to fatten you up , etc
• You only live once so I need to eat more

There's so much more that is said to me, but these are the most common ones that are said to me ALL THE TIME. And it makes me feel extremely self conscious about my weight and my body. It really baffles me that people have the audacity to say these things to somebody. And the comments mostly come from those that are bigger than me and trying to lose weight. My thing is if you are not telling someone who is bigger to stop eating junk food, put down the fork, you need to lose weight, etc why the heck are you telling someone smaller to do the opposite?? You don't know what people are struggling with food/weight/health wise and I feel as though it is extremely inappropriate to make those kind of comments.

I literally have people watch me make my plates and watch me eat while commenting on my portion sizes. They act like because I am small that I cannot want to eat or be healthy as if being skinny and wanting to be healthy is a bad thing. It's been 2 years of this so I'm sorry for venting , I'm just tired of always receiving so much hate/ backlash over everything.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Prayers for the job! I really hope you get it!

Sorry about the comments people are making. I know I went from being overweight years back to very slim and oh my goodness the comments people thought it was OK to make! I got all those comments you listed, people were so blunt. I used to ask them why they didn't make weight related comments when I was bigger. Where were the comments asking me why I was so big, whether I should eat less, how fat I looked lately etc. I once had a relative put food in front of me when I hadn't even said I wanted it, and they said to eat it because I looked like I needed it. I asked them why they never refused me food when I was bigger and told me I looked like I didn't need it.
It's crazy the comments people will make to body shame smaller people yet wouldn't dare to make those kind of comments to us when we were bigger. I am somewhere in the middle now so I haven't had any comments for a while, but I totally understand your frustration!