4 Awesome Chic's, TTC #1, 30+, cycle #3, Join our Journey!!!

[SloanPet77]

haha Yellow! I am glad its not just me! How are you progressing? how far along are you now? What should i be expecting? tell me tell me

I'm about 10 and a half weeks now. Things seem to be going good. We saw the heart beating like crazy at the 8wk appt. Doc said that was a great sign and significantly reduced the chance of miscarriage. Most of my symptoms have pretty much gone away. For a few weeks there (maybe 6wks-9.5wks), I had painful uterus stretching cramping and always felt like I had a hangover. I thought one of the benefits of not drinking alcohol was no hangover? haha! Having few symptoms now, I feel like the queen of the world.

When is your doc appt? Are you excited for it?

How is everyone else doing? Doing anything fun for the holidays? Maybe a few BFP's for Christmas/New Years???

Glad you are doing well! My first appt is Dec 18th, Ill be around 10 weeks then.

 

[AlicesHatter]

Congrats Sloan & all you other ladies who are underway with your pregnancies!

@Sloan: I <slightly> know what you mean about being ambivalent about your BFP so far. 2 months ago I didn't start spotting until later than usual & thought I might be prego & just for those 2 days I was freaking out "what did I do!?" Lol. I think it's like something Winnie the Pooh said:
“Well," said Pooh, "what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called”
Not that it won't be great getting the honey (baby), but it's just a different level of excitement than the waiting-for-it.

@Elphaba: fx that you get your BFP for Xmas in honor of your pa. That would be so lucky!

Me, I'm just trying to take ol' Pooh's philosophy & enjoy the process as best I can. I started following the "spotting 1-wk before AF" forum and now I keep convincing myself I could be pregs even if I spot like usual. Smh. I'm going back to FL to visit my family over Christmas, but DH is staying here to be with his immediate fam. This is our busy time at work, so I can't wait to get a little time to relax!

 

[Elphabaa77]

Well, my OPKs are back to completely negative after being a tick from positive Wednesday night. *sigh* No 'real' temp spike yet. I pretty much hate my body...
Now it is confusing me even more with pretty close to 'flatline' temps all week! Had a smidge of elevation yesterday which made me think I could have ovulated but temp was the same today. Looks like secondary fertility and maybe my body will hear up to try again... if that is today the OPK shouldn't be so darn negative one would think! (I take my OPKs in the morning and never have issue) If my temp doesn't spike tomorrow confirming ovulation today... then maybe the Pregnitude is no longer working as awesome as it did.

I am so pessimistic lately... if I haven't ovulated yet, that gives us all weekend to try. I just have learned my body never ovulated at convenient times, so I will probably just have another 'longer' cycle. *grumble*

Sorry for the downer post... it is just that after pretty much 8 months of trying, using all sorts of different TTC tools... I am really getting depressed. Blah! Being only in the middle of cycle 6 after 8 months doesn't really help matters. Stupid long cycles.

Mala- I do not know how you've done it this long. You have strength I am not quite certain I have. But since not being able to have a baby is completely unacceptable to me, I will keep on doing everything I can and hope something happens soon.

 

[MalaMae]

Well, my OPKs are back to completely negative after being a tick from positive Wednesday night. *sigh* No 'real' temp spike yet. I pretty much hate my body...
Now it is confusing me even more with pretty close to 'flatline' temps all week! Had a smidge of elevation yesterday which made me think I could have ovulated but temp was the same today. Looks like secondary fertility and maybe my body will hear up to try again... if that is today the OPK shouldn't be so darn negative one would think! (I take my OPKs in the morning and never have issue) If my temp doesn't spike tomorrow confirming ovulation today... then maybe the Pregnitude is no longer working as awesome as it did.

I am so pessimistic lately... if I haven't ovulated yet, that gives us all weekend to try. I just have learned my body never ovulated at convenient times, so I will probably just have another 'longer' cycle. *grumble*

Sorry for the downer post... it is just that after pretty much 8 months of trying, using all sorts of different TTC tools... I am really getting depressed. Blah! Being only in the middle of cycle 6 after 8 months doesn't really help matters. Stupid long cycles.

Mala- I do not know how you've done it this long. You have strength I am not quite certain I have. But since not being able to have a baby is completely unacceptable to me, I will keep on doing everything I can and hope something happens soon.

Oh, hun! You just go through the problems. I know how you feel. Don't get discouraged. After 8 months of trying I was scared that there's something wrong with me (that point still haven't gone to FS). Later I had period of extensive research, then panic and fear I'll never have kids (especially after doctor's visit and their unhelpful hopelessness), then depression and then you say FML. And then I went to acupuncture
It is totally unacceptable for me not to have kids, but I watched my father-in-law die of lung cancer, my sister's 2 friends (40 y.o.) died of uterus cancer (one of them had 2 kids), watched people at work dealing with different sicknesses and problems- I realize I'm happy that I'm healthy, my DH too, my parents, my sister, her family, I'm happy I have wonderful life with my hubby, work, friends, roof over my head, fridge full of food.
I always comfort myself by saying "there are worst things in life" and keeps me going.

I have weird cycle too. My OPK say negative, but my saliva test was all ferning and cervix was high. What the hell? Nah, can't be bothered anymore. Holidays are coming, I'll enjoy them. Since I'm orthodox my X-mas falls on Jan. 7 and orthodox new year on Jan.14, which means I have 2 x-mases and 2 new years!! Whole month of celebration! Wohoo!

 

[MalaMae]

Elpha, saw your charts. You may get tomorrow bigger leap in temp., and you BD on time
Saw your previous chart from October- you have nice curve after the O. That's what acupuncturists want.

 

[SloanPet77]

Congrats Sloan & all you other ladies who are underway with your pregnancies!

@Sloan: I <slightly> know what you mean about being ambivalent about your BFP so far. 2 months ago I didn't start spotting until later than usual & thought I might be prego & just for those 2 days I was freaking out "what did I do!?" Lol. I think it's like something Winnie the Pooh said:
“Well," said Pooh, "what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called”
Not that it won't be great getting the honey (baby), but it's just a different level of excitement than the waiting-for-it.

@Elphaba: fx that you get your BFP for Xmas in honor of your pa. That would be so lucky!

Me, I'm just trying to take ol' Pooh's philosophy & enjoy the process as best I can. I started following the "spotting 1-wk before AF" forum and now I keep convincing myself I could be pregs even if I spot like usual. Smh. I'm going back to FL to visit my family over Christmas, but DH is staying here to be with his immediate fam. This is our busy time at work, so I can't wait to get a little time to relax!

Alice when do you test? I srated bleeding on the day AF was due and that continued for a week so you never know.....

 

[SloanPet77]

Well, my OPKs are back to completely negative after being a tick from positive Wednesday night. *sigh* No 'real' temp spike yet. I pretty much hate my body...
Now it is confusing me even more with pretty close to 'flatline' temps all week! Had a smidge of elevation yesterday which made me think I could have ovulated but temp was the same today. Looks like secondary fertility and maybe my body will hear up to try again... if that is today the OPK shouldn't be so darn negative one would think! (I take my OPKs in the morning and never have issue) If my temp doesn't spike tomorrow confirming ovulation today... then maybe the Pregnitude is no longer working as awesome as it did.

I am so pessimistic lately... if I haven't ovulated yet, that gives us all weekend to try. I just have learned my body never ovulated at convenient times, so I will probably just have another 'longer' cycle. *grumble*

Sorry for the downer post... it is just that after pretty much 8 months of trying, using all sorts of different TTC tools... I am really getting depressed. Blah! Being only in the middle of cycle 6 after 8 months doesn't really help matters. Stupid long cycles.

Mala- I do not know how you've done it this long. You have strength I am not quite certain I have. But since not being able to have a baby is completely unacceptable to me, I will keep on doing everything I can and hope something happens soon.

Elpha, why havent you started chlomid or other fertility drugs?

 

[SloanPet77]

Elpha, saw your charts. You may get tomorrow bigger leap in temp., and you BD on time
Saw your previous chart from October- you have nice curve after the O. That's what acupuncturists want.

Mal are you guys considering IVF at all?

 

[Elphabaa77]

Sloan- I am still in my 'window' for trying naturally until my January 4th appointment. At my appointment in June, even though I told her we had been trying since January (I stretched the truth just a smidge) she still wanted me to keep trying naturally until January 2013. Of course now I don't want her to just give me clomid and see what happens. I want hubby's sperm tested and an HSG to check for blocked tubes. Then after that, I am still strongly considering asking for IUI with the clomid. At this point, I mean business! I don't want to waste any rounds if clomid if I have other problems.

Mala- My chart does seem to look better every month... at least post-ovulation. It's the getting to ovulation that really concerns me. It is so long and can be quite erratic with temps. Plus my temps are so low pre-O. I honestly think I am just getting more and more scared now that the appointment is scheduled. I think by the time January 4th rolls around I am going to be a WRECK at my appointment!
I still think you are a very strong woman! Finding the ways to deal that you do... well, when I am depressed I can't see past my problems. I can't remind myself about how many are worse off than me. It's the whole 'poor me' scenario. I just can't shake it. It is like tunnel vision... one focus. Ugh.

Well, I have 3 bottles of wine with my name written ALL over them and I am going to consume them this weekend! Then hubby and I are going to have some fun BD'ing! Hopefully he will be able to 'finish' (sorry if TMI) and hopefully my body decides to let the eggy go tonight or tomorrow to meet up with the swimmers! *fingers crossed*

 

[AlicesHatter]

@Sloan- I test on Monday (dec 10th - 13 dpo).

How did you think to test if you had bleeding when AF was due? Did you have any cramping too? I've got all my normal pre-AF symptoms except my gums aren't bugging me, so not too optimistic, but we shall see.

Elphaba- Go ahead & get your drink on & go to town! Good luck!

Aren't our bodies so strange. You're worried about your temps being relatively low, and I'm worried about even my pre-o temps being so high. It's like I constantly run a low grade fever. What's that about? Maybe our thermometers are out of calibration. Lol.

 

[Elphabaa77]

Well I got a HUGE spike this morning but I suspect some of it has to do with the alcohol I drank last night. Typically it causes my temp to be elevated, but not an entire degree usually so I am guessing I did ovulate... which figures cuz hubby was too busy playing video games then he was too tired last night. :-/ This morning I talked him into it, but he couldn't finish again. He said 'there is always later' and all I can think is I guess... Probably not for making a baby though. Of course I didn't say it outloud. I am really beginning to feel like something is really working against us. I think it is going to take at the very least clomid and IUI. This is the second cycle in a row where he hasn't been able to finish on crucial days. It is probably my fault. Maybe it is just too much pressure for him.

If the OBGYN just gives us clomid, chances are he isn't going to be able to finish and the clomid will be a waste. *sigh* (also when he can't finish... it isn't so good for my self-esteem. Talk about feeling like a failure!!!)

 

[AlicesHatter]

Oh no! So sorry Elphaba . It's so frustrating when DH can't finish at O times. It's not your fault. Maybe he's got a lot on his mind & it's not letting him get the job done?

 

[MalaMae]

Elpha, saw your charts. You may get tomorrow bigger leap in temp., and you BD on time
Saw your previous chart from October- you have nice curve after the O. That's what acupuncturists want.

Mal are you guys considering IVF at all?

Because I ovulate on my own and we have no issues, so we still believe that it'll happen naturally. Besides, it's $10,000 !!!! and they can't garantee you that it will be successful. So if the first time is not successfull, we do it again, another $10,000? i do have hope in traditional medicine.
I'm ok now, mentally speaking (just one meltdown when I get the period - not bad )

 

[MalaMae]

March and April I had 2 rounds of clomid. Nothing really changed for me since i was ovulating naturally. But it may make a difference if someone has ovulation issues.

Elpha, my suggestion is this- I know it's hard, I had the tunnel vision, I was "poor me, I'm having the worst period of my life", but try to change the direction. Don't think about ttc now. Concentrate on getting your period regular, shorter, work on the body and continue with acupuncture and herbs. Don't even test for ovulation.
Keep the natural path. The modern medicine only cures the symptoms, the traditional medicine solves the issues from its roots.
Enjoy life, drink, have fun.

 

[Elphabaa77]

I have a lot of trouble 'letting go ' when I want something so bad. Not sure I can just forget about it and not really try. I will be loaded with 'what if I had done this' or 'what if I gave up too soon.' Of course now, since hubby is having finishing problems on top of he hasn't wanted to cuddle with me all weekend, I feel like I disgust him. He always wants to cuddle, but the one weekend I wish he would the most, he hasn't. I am just super down this weekend. I haven't cried so much since my Dad passed. Had to take an Ambien just to fall asleep. It has definitely been a 'poor me' weekend and of course hubby keeps saying we'll BD later and we never do. He just keeps playing his video game. He just doesn't understand.

Blah... anyhow, sorry for being such a downer. I just feel all alone this weekend. Alone with only my thoughts to keep me company and they aren't very good company.

 

[MalaMae]

I have a lot of trouble 'letting go ' when I want something so bad. Not sure I can just forget about it and not really try. I will be loaded with 'what if I had done this' or 'what if I gave up too soon.' Of course now, since hubby is having finishing problems on top of he hasn't wanted to cuddle with me all weekend, I feel like I disgust him. He always wants to cuddle, but the one weekend I wish he would the most, he hasn't. I am just super down this weekend. I haven't cried so much since my Dad passed. Had to take an Ambien just to fall asleep. It has definitely been a 'poor me' weekend and of course hubby keeps saying we'll BD later and we never do. He just keeps playing his video game. He just doesn't understand.

Blah... anyhow, sorry for being such a downer. I just feel all alone this weekend. Alone with only my thoughts to keep me company and they aren't very good company.

Elpha, you are not a downer and definitely no need to say sorry. We all feel lonely in this. Friends may say "I know how you feel", but they really have no clue unless they're dealing with the same issue. That's why there are these forums.
Oh and the hubbies, don't be upset. They can't deal with this too well, they feel helpless (he sees you stressed and have no idea how to help), they deal with stress differently then women by hiding behind video games, computers, fixing cars, fishing or whatever. First of all, having a kid teriffies them only because they're not sure if they can provide for the family, if they'll be good dads, husbands. They are bigger softies then us the women.

 

[Elphabaa77]

Thanks Mala for the encouraging words! All so very true.

Hubby and I had a good talk this morning and I told him how I felt. I felt a ton better after we talked. Then we even got a little make-up session. Without the issue we had yesterday. May have been too late, but who knows?

Now the weekend is over and so begins the incredibly busy week at work. I guess at least I won't have much time to mope around and be depressed.

 

[Elphabaa77]

And now my temps are back down completely and would appear I never ovulated at all. My body is such a cruel joke! *sigh*

 

[Elphabaa77]

I think I am holding on to dumb hope that probably means nothing... but what if I ovulated last Tuesday or Wednesday? My chart I have positive on Wednesday, but OPK was fading in on Tuesday. If I actually did ovulate then, I would be 5-6 dpo this morning and the dip back to almost cover line could be implantation? Sometimes I have slow rising BBT after ovulation where I don't see a spike until 2-3 days after a positive OPK.

I think I am probably just reaching for anything that could explain why my body is trying to fail me right now. If I don't ovulate soon I may run the risk of AF being here when my doctor appointment rolls around and then I would have to reschedule... which would take probably at least another month or 2 to get in. (I had to schedule for January 4th in mid November)

Anyhow... it probably looks like a far reach that I could be 5-6 dpo, but maybe?

 

[SloanPet77]

March and April I had 2 rounds of clomid. Nothing really changed for me since i was ovulating naturally. But it may make a difference if someone has ovulation issues.

Elpha, my suggestion is this- I know it's hard, I had the tunnel vision, I was "poor me, I'm having the worst period of my life", but try to change the direction. Don't think about ttc now. Concentrate on getting your period regular, shorter, work on the body and continue with acupuncture and herbs. Don't even test for ovulation.
Keep the natural path. The modern medicine only cures the symptoms, the traditional medicine solves the issues from its roots.
Enjoy life, drink, have fun.

I agree with Mal, the one month we didnt do anything was the month it happened. No OPK or preseed, it puts stress on your body and that gets the ovulation all out of wack, just my opinion.

Elph i am sorry about DH, that happened with me too. He said he was tired of being treated like some factory. Try some bedroom outfits, or maybe surprise him with some down south time to start?