4 Awesome Chic's, TTC #1, 30+, cycle #3, Join our Journey!!!

[MalaMae]

Elpha, Sloan is right. Spice up the "bedroom life"
and stop analyzing your chart. You are doing the same thing as me couple of months ago. I was even laying over the charts to find a pattern between them (!)

 

[MalaMae]

Sloan, are you changing the signature? You can put one of those cute tickers "you baby is a size of a plum"

 

[Elphabaa77]

I have quite the wardrobe of sexy little outfits. TMI but I kind of refuse 'down south' time until he discovers what it means to at least trim. But there are other ways to spice things up.

I have battled with depression and anxiety since I was in college, I just thought I overcame it but I guess it only takes a trigger to bring it back. I haven't been on meds in 5 years. I refuses them when my Dad died in 2010. Right now I feel about as hopeless as I did then. Because of that it is really hard not to stress or obsess. The add to it that I can tell that TTC is bringing the depression back and I am stressing more because I want to avoid anti-depressants at all costs. They aren't baby friendly!

I also feel like I should stop acupuncture, it's been over a month of regular visits and my cycle seems to have actually gotten worse. I have spent nearly $500 that could have been stockpiling in my health savings to go see a reproductive endocrinologist and have tests run to figure out what is wrong. I would have $1600 towards my $3,000 deductible. Right now my $120 contribution every 2 weeks just negates the acupuncture so no really growth in funds. Plus my acupuncturist is nice... but he only puts needles in for 20 minutes?!?! Most put them in for 45 minutes. He also has never put any in my ears which the signs on his wall indicate that is a key place. Just not sure my money is well spent sticking with him.

My temp went back up today... so who knows what that means?

 

[MalaMae]

Don't panic! Now you are panicking!! Sometimes things get worse before they get better. Last month I either O on day 10 or I had 11 days LP. But it's ok. The body by the help of acu and herbs is trying to figure it out what's wrong and put it on the right track. That's my opinion, that's how I understand it.
The modern medicine will only cure your symptoms, it won't solve the problem. I know it's not cheap, but FS is actually even more expensive on the long run and they'll stuff you up with pills.
Regarding depression, have you tried yoga?

 

[SloanPet77]

Sloan, are you changing the signature? You can put one of those cute tickers "you baby is a size of a plum"

I dont know how to do that! lol

 

[Elphabaa77]

Well my concern with the acupuncture is more that I feel like my particular acupuncturist doesn't know what he's doing. I just get this feeling that he only knows a little about acupuncture and what he did learn was only to help keep his chiropractic practice a float. I get that 'feeling' worse each time I go. I am a strong believer that acupuncture can work for people, but I kind of feel like I am not getting a true acupuncture session. I could be wrong... but that is what my gut is telling me. The guy that is highly recommended in our area is quite a drive for me. With my work schedule I just cannot get into to see that acupuncturist.

Same problem with yoga in this area... day classes. I mean, am I the only woman who works 8-5 around here? It's crazy!!!

Yes... I have been panicking a lot. I am always in control and always find a way to get what I want. Not Ina manipulative sort of way, but by finding solutions. This whole TTC thing puts you out of control fast and it literally drives me crazy. I need solutions and results or I get scared and panic. Unfortunately I am not sure how to 'not care.'

Sloan- they have pretty detailed instructions that can help you set up a ticker. Through trial and error I figured out the ones in my signature.

 

[AlicesHatter]

I was going to say the same thing as Mala about trying yoga to de-stress. In 2011 I was getting panic attacks (self diagnosed) from just having opened my own business, but I started yoga filled with skepticism. But man did it do the trick! Now I'm addicted to yoga, though it is hard to make it to class due to working.

You can do some yoga online if you go to yogajournal.com. There's lots of free videos to practice. It's not the same as going to a live class bc they don't give you an inspirational little speech at the end, but it may work to calm your nerves a little at least.

I don't know anything about acupuncture & am skeptical about it as anything but an anti-stress mechanism, so I don't have any advice in that department.

AFM, the bad news is that I'm CD1 today, the good news is that means there is egg nog in my future! ;-)

 

[MalaMae]

Elpha, I'm control freak, at least I was, until TTC It teaches you patience and letting things go.
As for relaxation, don't laugh, but I downloaded apps for iphone. If you have one or an android, search for "relax" and it'll give you apps for relaxation and hypnosis. The voice is very soothing and really relaxed me, even put me to sleep.

Sloan, clicking on my signature, the one with the baby "Lilypie". It 'll take you to the website and there it'll tell you what to do.

 

[Elphabaa77]

I was supposed to be 10 dpo today, but Fertility Friend took my 'ovulation day' away after another low temp today. I guess 3 temps below cover line post-O makes them reconsider whether you O's at all. I still think I O'd because my breasts have been extremely sore, especially on the days my temp was up. I am just thinking my family doctor and I were wrong to stop taking metformin this month. Looks like a pretty obvious progesterone issue. Plus I literally CANNOT stay away from sugar. It's not about weakness or depression at this point... I literally 'have' to have it. I NEVER crave sugar (or eat it) like I have the past couple of weeks and it gets worse everyday... and my body feels worse everyday. Add to that, I think I see the dreaded 'mustache' I haven't see in almost 7 years returning... and it hurts to do workouts I had no problem doing a couple months ago. All of which points to insulin resistance and the stupid PCOS I was doubting I had. Pregnitude helped, but not enough for me to ditch metformin apparently.

Now I don't know if I should call general practitioner or wait for OBGYN appointment in January 4th to get put back on metformin. This cycle's post-O phase has been the WORST of any since I started charting in April... but I still think it looks like my body ovulated. Grrrrrrrr!

 

[AlicesHatter]

Sorry you're having so many frustrations sweetie.
You can tell FF to use the "research method" ( if you have a VIP acct) & you might get your crosshairs back. That's what I did last month to make myself feel better after I didn't get any crosshairs (in my case I assume its bc I didn't take my temp thru 1/2 my follicular phase). Your chart looks like is has higher temps after cd 25 for sure to me.

Why'd you quit taking the metformin? Side effects?

What sugar are you craving? Deserts? Or starchy (white bread, potatoes, etc) foods? If you can find high-fiber versions of the foods you crave, it decreases the glycemic index & will be better for you. Easier to do for starchy foods than deserts of course.

Personally, I would just wait until the Jan 4 appt. But that's mainly bc it would probably take until then for there to be an open appt w my GP anyhow.

Sorry I don't have much good advice... Don't know much about PCOS.

 

[Elphabaa77]

Thanks Alice. My crosshairs came back today and had me ovulating sooner than before... guessing it is because it is taking my luteal phase into account and since my temps have dropped off like they do during my luteal phase just before AF maybe that is why? It also lowered my cover line a degree which makes it so I did not have as many temps below cover line. Don't matter much now cuz I am obviously not pregnant.

I didn't have to schedule and appointment with my GP. She told me in September to just call her, especially since her office is an hour away (2 hours from where I work!) She agreed that it looks like I do still need it and she called in my prescription. Unfortunately she did it so late yesterday I couldn't get it and I won't be able to today either cuz pharmacy doesn't open til 9 am and I have to work til 9 pm tonight. OY! Holidays are super crazy in my business! Looking VERY much forward to a 4 day weekend. Plus I get to snuggle both of my cousins' newborns on Christmas Eve. Which will make me happy and then sad when they leave, but oh well.

Now to see if AF really does show up today or if things are REALLY messed up......

 

[SloanPet77]

well today is not a good day. We went to our first appointment and the dr. couldnt find the baby. she did a vaginal and an abdominal ultra sound and there is only a sac with nothing in it. She ordered another ultra sound in two hours but i am feeling like this is not going to turn out well.

is there any other possible reason why they couldnt find the baby or a heartbeat? I am nearly 10 weeks.

 

[AlicesHatter]

So sorry to hear this news, Sloan. I hope it turns out better than it sounds.

 

[redbrick80]

Hi Ladies,

I do not post very much on here - but I do follow along.

Sloan - I hope that you are ok. We are here for whatever you may need, just keep us posted.

 

[Elphabaa77]

That is horrible Sloan. I hope she was wrong!

What you said can happen and it doesn't make sense. It happened to one of my best friends 2 years ago this month. My friend was pregnant again 5 months later and baby girl Hope was born this past February.

I hope the second ultrasound was better.

 

[SloanPet77]

well its not good at all. The ultrasound specialist did another abdominal and antoehr vaginal. We did find the baby, hand, feet, face and all, so I thought ok here we go everything is good.... she couldnt find a heartbeat. She said the baby only measured to be around 7 weeks old (I am 10 weeks). So I have had my baby floating around in me for 3 weeks, not alive. I cant wrap my mind around this because just this week I have been having horrible morning sickness and all kinds of symptoms. We had a huge family party on Sunday where we announced to everyone that we are expecting. including my DH dad who has cancer and Parkinsons disease. We had these photos done where we are all dressed up by the Christmas tree, I am wrapped up like a present and DH is kissing my belly, there is a giant bow that reads, " do not open until July 2013".

That moment is gone forever, we will never again be able to have all our family together in one place and do a huge announcement like this. I have no idea what to do at this point. How do I go from planning for a baby the past 10 weeks, to now nothing at all? I am not quite sure what to do with myself, and the hard part isnt even here yet, a D&C.

 

[Elphabaa77]

I am so sorry Sloane. I cannot even imagine how hard this is. It really sucks your doctor couldn't get you in sooner to check on things. They may not have been able to do anything, but every day that went by I am sure you started making more plans. My heart breaks for you. Why does everything have to be so dang unfair.
You will definitely be in my thoughts in the weeks ahead.

 

[SloanPet77]

well talk about a roller coaster, I got my HCG levels back today from Tuesday and they are 27,179! That is super high, they said that could range from a 6 week to 15 week pregnancy. I am not geeting my hpes up or anything but the Dr. is running my levels again today to see if they are continuing to go up or if they go down. If they are still going up she wants to do another ultrasound in a week. If they are down, I will start the medication to induce/terminate.

This is weird that my levels are so hihg especially if they said the baby died at 6 weeks? any thoughts?

 

[AlicesHatter]

Wow Sloan that's nuts. I hope it's a good sign! This has got to be so hard on you - to be in limbo.

((Huggggs))

 

[MalaMae]

Oh my god, Sloan!!!! That sucks!!! I'm so sorry hun! I hope there will be some good news.
Please don't be discouraged, many women said they miscarried the first one. The body is learning, it's a totally new condition for the body.

I keep my fingers crossed for you for good news.
Sorry, I haven't written before, I just arrived from vacation and I totally forgot about phone, Internet, TV and TIME!!! We went to Dominican