Thats the kind of thing I do Maxxi make a big decision not do something and then cave the next day - I think it's human nature hun. Did you get any bding in before you realised it was cd15 hun? I'm so sorry to hear that you have been down since the last cycle failed. Sending you big hugs sweetie
It's completely understandable though babe you just spent months and months and months getting to the stage to have the ET (wasn't it a good four/five months sweetie?)and then it didn't work. You have every right to sit on the sofa and watch trashy movies, eat ice cream, wallow for a while and feel very pissed off. I know if it was me that is exactly what I would be doing!! I would be seriously licking my wounds and I would log on here and right down about how bloody unfair it is and get all the emotion out and then when I was sick of my own whinging I would pick myself up dust
myself off and get on with the next plan I had devised .....
I do think the whole ttc thing is about staying positive & using the chances that we do have left hun -- sorry to bang on about my friend - the one i was telling you about previously with the ds child who wanted a healthy baby - her and her dh came up with 10,000 themselves and they ony had one frozen grade a embryo so there chances were quite slim. She had embryo transferred and she is now 12 weeks pg and I am so happy for her cos she said she just wanted to feel like a normal mum - I kept saying to her that she was a normal mum but she just wanted one healthy child bless her and now she is pg its fabulous. The point of me saying this hun is that she did everything in her power to create a fantastic environment for that embryo to go into. Mentally she decided that she would give it her best shot and not delve into despair if it didn't work but pick herself up again and go to next stage/ plan and physically she stopped all drinking, she doesn't smoke, ate healthy, gentle walking / exercising every day to keep the blood flowing, cut caffeine out, acupuncture and then she and I spoke about the few weeks before transfer that she should go for a couple of massages just to make herself feel good. Something in that horrible long list of behaving like a saint bloody well worked for her and her risk of mc is 1% now!. Maxxi hun I don't think you should every say that ttc your baba is stupid or you feel stupid for trying hun. You are chasing your dream hun and that can never be wrong or stupid.
Optimism is just a state of mind babe, that anyone can have! What do they say quote if you can't make it, fake it, until you make it end quote. You need to pick yourself up now hun, dust yourself off and get ready to receive that next little embryo that is looking for a good home!! Get yourself in the most positive state of mind that you can hun, eat the best healthy food that you can eat for the next few weeks, cut out the caffeine and booze if you still drink both (I know I do the caffeine is my downfall I think!) and get some exercise each day - even brisk 20 mins walk and then before transfer do as much of what you can that chills you out and is good for you and then relax and go with the process and open yourself up to it. Imagine yourself with that baba and it will come true sweetie. The power of positive thinking and visualisation has been proven to work and not only in childbirth! It's April hun xx springtime xx time for new beginnings and why shouldn't you get yours hun xx I'm stopping the essay now hun but one final point is that after*everything you have been through and all the stims you will be much more fertile second time around so I say go for it and lets get a bfp from you hun xx
Sorry for such a long waffle babe - just I'm here for you hun if you need cheering up or an annoying lecture! lol seriously though please don't bottle it all up hun and don't feel alone xxxxxxxx
