5dpo, AF due 5/12, want to wait this out together? :)

[DobbyForever]

Love you ladies! Drama with his brother is a you know what killer for so many reasons. I let them have guy time and DDed for my friend instead. Today is another flashy smile and I told SO it's on today. Like pulling out the outfits and toys, brother here or not the BD is happening. My temps are all over this month. =\ ideally, I get a solid on Sunday. I'm just wondering if I'm looking at another short cycle

Sunshine, are you still seeing the doctor today? Hugs. I'm sorry the witch showed up. Did your temp drop?

Mac, yay! I hope it stays up and you Oed. Hope you dtd Fxed!

 

[ms sunshine]

Good luck Mac! Hope you have o'd

Dobby tv on LOUD might help lol.

Yeah went the docs because i nearly passed out twice today. First time i thought it was weird but twice freaked me out but apparently all is good bp and heart rate fine. She checked for ectopic pg but was ok. She did test there and nothing showed knew it wouldn't as i had tested too. She said not to test for 4 weeks after af is late so i don't stress. Haven't told hubby or he would want to do that and thats not happening lol but my docs dont do blood tests for 4 weeks after af is due how crazy. Didnt temp this morning though as i take it during the night i wouldnt sleep. But at least i can try again soon.

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh, the noise is not the issue. My house. You deal with it. SO just has zero libido around his brother. His brother is a reminder of how bad Aspergers can be, and they haven't proven there isn't a genetic component. So when he comes around and runs his stupid mouth (last week it was telling MIL to f*** off) it just makes SO rethink kids and then he gets stressed because he feels it's his job to clean up after his older brother. Swoot! But I have been stroking his ego all morning while he is at work. Just got a text I can expect fun when he gets home. Hehe

I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Rest up! Take care of yourself. Make this a you month

 

[DobbyForever]

SO came home early from work. And instead of we talked. He doesn't want to try this month. He doesn't know when he is going to want to start trying again. He's going hiking/ camping with friends, and even if he clears his mind and comes back and agrees to try we'll most likely have missed this cycle. There is not enough wine in this house for me to process this.

 

[comotion89]

oh no, what were his reasons? sorry I've been lurking for a while ....

 

[kksy9b]

I'm sorry dobby. Maybe taking the month off and getting your relationship back in order will be a good thing. Talk,heal and focus on each other. Hopefully by next month things will be better and you can try again

 

[DobbyForever]

Hugs. In a nutshell:
- he's still hurt from what I said. He's at least out of the anger stage, but he says he still feels like anything he is on pins and needles waiting for my abandonment issues to be triggered again. And it gets worse every time. He needs time.
- He's back to wanting to get a geneticist or whatever involved because he's worried he is carrying mental illness and I'm a carrier of bipolar (my grandfather has it and 3 of my uncles have it, but my dad and my brother don't)
- He thinks the tech bubble will pop in December and houses will be cheaper shortly thereafter so the house thing came out.
- his family doesn't think he'll be a good dad
- I'm not tenured (irrelevant honestly)
And anything after was valid but dumb. And frosting on the cupcake? Guess whose ex-girlfriend called? Right as he was saying this. Yup. Normally, her calling does not bother me. I know what she did, it was years ago, and I know what I give him so she can get over herself. But omg the self soothing was a challenge yesterday

 

[DobbyForever]

And to be graphic, I think there's a he just doesn't want to DTD component. I've tended to his needs since our blowup, but not in ways that make babies. Obviously I'm baby frustrated, but I'm at the point where I am sexually frustrated. SO is extremely affectionate. He is not very intimate. He JUST started talking to me about his family problems and what he and his therapist talk about. Anyway, he made a passing comment about how dtd the way babies are made is incredibly intimate and I really hurt him so he is not ready to be that intimate again. Meanwhile, day 3 flashing smile taunts me.

 

[ms sunshine]

i think its just a time thing. to be honest me and hubby had a right argument and he said he doesnt want another baby. then the test we both saw a pink line (before it disappeared the next day) he was excited, and now that theres no chance of baby he is determined to try for another. just took time but it doesnt help you much when its o time...

to be honest i can understand he is worried things being passed on but even if there were no family history issues there could be something else its just one of those unfortunate things that you have to hope for the best and deal with if there is a problem. but on a positive from your experiences and history you guys could give a child the best support if its needed a lot of people are just in the deep end with no experience at all. do you think he might be saying these reasons to try and get you to agree on waiting, especially mentioning the house as he probably feels if you agree he might not feel so bad for saying no. is this his final answer or is he still thinking? you must feel so gutted right now hugs. hope you guys get to sort something out.

 

[mac1979]

Dobby, could you go to a therapy session with him once to have someone help mediate a conversation between you two? Getting an opinion from the outside may help things between the two of you. It sounds like both of you are struggling for different reasons.

 

[DobbyForever]

We've hashed out communication, but he's stubborn. In his mind, we're young. I have 10 more years before we having to worry about age factoring in. So he doesn't understand why waiting hurts me so much. That's part of his Aspergers. He would never let me near his therapist, but he might come to mine. Idk. I'm scared to pee on my opk. I have a feeling it will be solid, he comes home tonight, and it's going to kill me that we aren't dtd.

- jk day 4 of flashing smiles. Honestly, I think he's just scared of being a bad dad. We go through this insecurity of failing every step we take: when we started dating and not just having sex, when we became bf/gf, when we moved in, when we talked about marriage and I compromised, when we first started talking about kids. I see how he lights up when he talks about his future sons and daughter, but he is terrified he will emotionally damage them or raise the hellions we see running around in the Silicon valley these days. And God knows he won't listen to me when I say he will be a good dad, especially with his therapist and his mom running behind me saying otherwise.

 

[SilasLove]

Sorry Dobby - seems like such a frustrating experience. I hope he'll come around soon and you can try again.

 

[DobbyForever]

Thanks, Silas. It's just draining. Thankfully, my friend had planned a girls day yesterday so while SO was off having guy talk with his friends in the mountains I got to go have girl talk with my girls painting plates and tea cups and sipping mimosas (or just orange juice in my case). Have you ovulated yet? Or are you still waiting?

 

[Flueky88]

We've hashed out communication, but he's stubborn. In his mind, we're young. I have 10 more years before we having to worry about age factoring in. So he doesn't understand why waiting hurts me so much. That's part of his Aspergers. He would never let me near his therapist, but he might come to mine. Idk. I'm scared to pee on my opk. I have a feeling it will be solid, he comes home tonight, and it's going to kill me that we aren't dtd.

- jk day 4 of flashing smiles. Honestly, I think he's just scared of being a bad dad. We go through this insecurity of failing every step we take: when we started dating and not just having sex, when we became bf/gf, when we moved in, when we talked about marriage and I compromised, when we first started talking about kids. I see how he lights up when he talks about his future sons and daughter, but he is terrified he will emotionally damage them or raise the hellions we see running around in the Silicon valley these days. And God knows he won't listen to me when I say he will be a good dad, especially with his therapist and his mom running behind me saying otherwise.

Sorry you and DH are having some issues. I hope that he will come around for you. I can't believe his therapist said that. I'm in the same boat as you with the CB advance ovulation, I also had my fourth day of flashing smile this morning. Oh well, I'm trying not to stress about waiting for my LH surge because stress will delay even further. This is my second cycle off of birth control. I'm just enjoying BD with husband and trying to think that it'll happen when it's supposed to. Although, I'm hoping sooner than later. Well, here's to hoping we both get a solid smile tomorrow and some babydust

 

[DobbyForever]

Hey flueky! Thanks for the support. He's having lunch with his dad and brother so he is either going to come home on a high because they worked stuff out or he'll come home super low. My therapist cannot believe some of the stuff his therapist says, but she's biased in my favor haha. And his therapist had good stuff, too.

But yeah solids tomorrow! I'm not sure what is going on with these shorter cycles or light periods, buy as long as my lp stays at 12 I am ok with 4 less days in my cycle haha. How have your cycles been since you got off of bcp?

 

[Flueky88]

Hey flueky! Thanks for the support. He's having lunch with his dad and brother so he is either going to come home on a high because they worked stuff out or he'll come home super low. My therapist cannot believe some of the stuff his therapist says, but she's biased in my favor haha. And his therapist had good stuff, too.

But yeah solids tomorrow! I'm not sure what is going on with these shorter cycles or light periods, buy as long as my lp stays at 12 I am ok with 4 less days in my cycle haha. How have your cycles been since you got off of bcp?

Fingers crossed he'll come back on a high. I just didn't think therapists were supposed to be so negative, more supportive than anything. Shows what I know about that

Well I stopped bcp 4/25, had first period 5/30. So 36 day cycle, I didn't track ovulation at all. I did notice about 2 weeks before AF I had some lower abdominal cramping that were similar to AF cramps. It was really light though, only 3 days too. I'm only on my second cycle. Trying to stay optimistic but not stressed. I had read some women waiting months before first period so that made me feel better about only being a week later last month.

I feel a lot better too doing OPKs. I was going to try to temp, but I got sick on cycle day 5, lovely sinus problems so I figured I'll just wait on that. I'm hoping to ovulate by the middle of the week. I'd love to announce pregnancy on the fourth of July. It's one of my favorite holidays. I thought about telling the in-laws I was going to shoot fireworks off for the baby (my SIL is about 4.5 months pregnant) and "accidently" shoot two off instead of one.

Sorry, I rattle on too much. Fingers crossed for those solid smileys and to get in We could be tww buddies

How long have you been trying? This is number #1 for you as well?

 

[DobbyForever]

That's so cute with the fireworks!!! I got off and on bcp for years. Clockwork 32-34 days first cycle off then regulated to 27 days thereafter. So hopefully your body pulled a Tay Tay and looked at those bcp hormones as just went shake it off! you can still probably temp tbh and use averages. You are just looking for patterns anyway. I don't temp every day until about cd 8 ish. I know when I Oed last month and I didn't temp the day of O or day before. My temps this month are wonky as well since we had a heat wave, so lots of random high temps. It all just ends up working out though. Somehow. Lol. Yeah, this would be baby number one but pregnancy number 4. We got preggo back in mid December using condoms. Our condom broke, I got plan b, and I still got pregnant. First he panicked, then he came around, then I lost that pregnancy so we got the iud since I was a mess. We took it out about two and half months ago.

 

[Flueky88]

Dobby, I was on the pill for 9-10 years straight. That gives me hope. I decided to pretend I'd have a 32 day cycle when I was planning to start my opk, I figured somewhere in between (28-36) was a good guestimate. I feel more normal, different than I was on the pill. I'm hoping it's a good sign as well as getting first flashing smiley on cycle day 13.

I may temp when I wake up tomorrow, I don't have a bbt though. I hear ya about the heat, it's supposed to be in 90s all week and it's so humid here in northeast TN.

I'm so sorry to hear about mc. I never realized how common they are until I researched when stopping the pill. I thought I was pregnant on pill back at end of March/first of April and that's when I realized I was ready and DH had already starting thinking of names. I felt crushed, but decided to stop the pill at end of the pack.

DH, he just got acceptance letter for PTA program and it's made him a little more reluctant about ttc, however, I know we can do it and are ready. He's not been refusing thankfully, and even asks me about my opk results each morning.

I'll be thinking of you and praying for for the both of us. Thank you for the advice and support, Dobby

 

[DobbyForever]

Your flashing smiles started cd 13 or you are cd 13 now? I think it's definitely a good sign. Just keep in mind that the flashes are for estrogen rise whereas the solid is LH. I know what you mean about the timing. Buying a house is our comparable situation. But there's never a perfect time to have a baby. My mom's boss says, "You'll find a way to make it work." I know timing wise this is our last opportune month. If i was due 3/10 I could come back mid to late August and wrap the year up. Being due in mid April would really stink sub wise. But I have to be first hahaha. One step at a time

 

[Flueky88]

First flashing smiley was cycle day 13. Currently cd16. I'm a nurse so timing doesn't really matter for me. DH has hinted he'd rather me get pregnant next month for April baby. I'm an April baby as well as FIL and MIL. I'll just be happy whenever I will be eagerly awaiting our test results