6 DPO...& ...POAS until positive!

[natjenson]

Nat, how did you deal with people getting pregnant when you were trying for so long? I'm having a really hard time with it I'm seeing te therapist Tuesday afternoon & this is one of the main things I need to figure out because so many of our closest friends are expecting & ATM, I don't want to spend time with them.

Yah Carl deserves to be put down
Can't wait to see more!!

Hi barbs...
Well to be totally honest I really didn't cope well at all...being around pregnancies made me feel really bitter....in front of them I was pleasant but when I would get home I would have a cry and feel sorry for myself and wallow ...
If it was someone I really cared about I was genuinely happy for them but deep down I would feel really down and envy them secretly ...
I also hated the fact that once they had their baby I was " not in their club" ....
But that was the attitude I would get from them not something I felt without cause if you know what I mean...
Over here we have a morning program and just a few weeks ago there was a doctor on the show and he has recently found that this is an actual condition that women suffer with....
He said that some women live with jealousy and envious thoughts towards pregnant women...even women that have recently had a baby suffer with it as they " miss" being pregnant and the special attention they would have received.
When I watched this program...I totally related to it....
I told my step father what I saw and admitted to feeling like this and he said that they kind of knew I felt like this before....
The only way I learnt to cope was to stay positive....
To keep telling myself that ill have my own baby one day and all the friends and family that were "funny" to me would get my middle finger lol ( not literally tho )
I think that as a woman that has the need to become a mum and have a family needs all the support from friends and family and those that alienate you do not deserve you...

When my close friend ( the one that was mean to me on fb) got pregnant she was quite young...she wasn't with the father bc he was abusive to her...I was with her through every step of the way..I looked after her I supported her all the way...I even helped to buy what she needed- she NEVER thanked me for this...she alienated me...I was completely not good enough for her anymore...she looked at me like " what do you know"
I forgave her for this eventually as soon enough she needed me and like a good friend I stayed in the background of her life and stepped up when needed but I felt like she didn't even notice how she made me feel...it broke my heart some days...

So as for coping I have to be totally honest I still struggle with this to date...
For example....don't get me wrong I LOVE the lovely Kate Middleton I think she's great but our due dates were almost the same give or take a week or two but every time I see her on the telly I brake down lately...so really I'm not coping very well at all...
All I CAN suggest is keep positive and stay focused on what it is we are trying to achieve...once we lose sight of this there's no way forward
One day you will have a wonderful family barbs I just know it...
And because you have worked SO Hard for this it will be even better I know it.


Hope your ok barbs and have a good day


xxx

 

[Petzy]

I can understand what you are both saying about being around pg people or people with babies... I do feel like I am "not in the club" and often that doesnt feel too good!!! I mean there were many times when I was fine with that - I do have freedom, I've been able to travel some with DH, financially its great... but ultimately I know I want that little baby and as its happening around me - with such EASE - its like wowzers ..... So while I dont know what a loss is like that is one thing I can definitely understand.

Nat Im sorry you had such a rubbish friend - support is a big deal for sure. I know my friends will be supportive when I am pg and they dont deliberately exclude me now - but at the same time my life IS different from theirs.. so I get it to an extent but at the same time I dont - you know?

Barb so glad that you had a great spa day and I hope you find that house soon!! I cant even imagine house hunting never had to do it as we bought DH's house that he grew up in when his parents started living in Florida half the year... (retired) I bet its stressful!

Well ladies, as for me, it is NOT good news... bless DH because its not his fault at all, but he was so sick all weekend and still is today. The flu part seems to be over but hes develped a nasty cough likely bronchitis as he gets it every year. So this is how I feel - one part of me is gutted because for the first time ever I almost have NO chance of conceiving this month. and on the other hand I am like wow I am getting a month off of a 2ww and any guessing or worrying lol - that is me trying to see the positive in this... but FUCK man!!!! lol... we did try yesterday - but DH got super dizzy half way though and I felt terrible lol

I am still OPK'ing and it is not positive yet which I suppose is the one good thing... today is the day i 90% always get my positive though so I am expecting it... for once I really hope I O late and that it comes tomorrow or Wednesday... we will see. I will keep you posted. If I get my +OPK today and we BD tonight I guess I am still in the game but I am not holding onto any hope given how the weekend went.... not to mention all the damn pills ive been taking every single day AHHHHHH lol - I do really hope for a BD tonight but who knows ladies..

 

[barbikins]

AHHHHHHHHHHH That's frustrating, Meg! I hope he feels a bit better today. But what can you do if he feels really that horrible right? I hear you about not having to worry about a TWW for a month but you know I get the stress of not wanting to miss out on an opportunity.

I feel that way with this month. Not sure if I will be ovulating & that actually makes me sad. I am still waiting for the call from the clinic (pretty late today) to see what my numbers are. I hope they're 0 but my gut says it's not. My period is more or less over - it's at the end where it's spotting out.

Thanks ladies for sharing what it's like for you guys with preggo friends. It's hard for me. Very hard. I don't want to see them. I don't want to put myself in a situation where we're talking about how happy they are & how they're planning this & that. And you know, preggo people just want to talk about babies & their bellies. I've been there. I know what that's like. And I'm really just not that interested. It's too painful right now.
It's been too painful for almost two years. I'm not just dealing with not getting pregnant but loosing my little girl & now a MC. It's very hard. I'm very unhappy right now. And I"m stressed out.

Meg, hang in there - I hope your hubby can feel better for two minutes? LOL
Damn, what timing

 

[Petzy]

AHHHHHHHHHHH That's frustrating, Meg! I hope he feels a bit better today. But what can you do if he feels really that horrible right? I hear you about not having to worry about a TWW for a month but you know I get the stress of not wanting to miss out on an opportunity.

I feel that way with this month. Not sure if I will be ovulating & that actually makes me sad. I am still waiting for the call from the clinic (pretty late today) to see what my numbers are. I hope they're 0 but my gut says it's not. My period is more or less over - it's at the end where it's spotting out.

Thanks ladies for sharing what it's like for you guys with preggo friends. It's hard for me. Very hard. I don't want to see them. I don't want to put myself in a situation where we're talking about how happy they are & how they're planning this & that. And you know, preggo people just want to talk about babies & their bellies. I've been there. I know what that's like. And I'm really just not that interested. It's too painful right now.
It's been too painful for almost two years. I'm not just dealing with not getting pregnant but loosing my little girl & now a MC. It's very hard. I'm very unhappy right now. And I"m stressed out.

Meg, hang in there - I hope your hubby can feel better for two minutes? LOL
Damn, what timing

I totally agree - I am not really interested until my own time comes. It may sound bad and I put on a good face but inside I am just like MEH lol.... My one friend is like oh I can give you a tip about timing with your ovulation and i was like LMAO if she only knew about me and this forum and how long its been and how much knowledge we have... thanks but no thanks lol

And Barb you, and Nat, have both had a loss to add to it so you dont have to pretend for anyone! You have to do things how you can manage them. And you dont owe anyone anything Just yourself!

I know my timing is so so bad but there is one SILVER lining today... my OPK was negative - I am not quite there yet but I am getting close.

That is my only positive ! I took it a half hour ago - I will post it now. So if by some luck I am able to BD tonight or even tomrorow I still have a chance... (not a great one but hey its something)

 

[Petzy]

Ok heres my pic - never been so glad to see a negative before lol

 

[barbikins]

hah Nat, that's negative indeed - maybe tomorrow it's positive!

Well ladies, I have even more bad news if there could be anymore. My HCG went up to 79 which is bad news. They're thinking it could be ectopic pregnancy so I need to go in for an ultrasound this Wednesday to see what's going on. I'm so upset right now. I went on google of course to see what that meant & stuff & I have to be very careful it doesn't rupture or if I get intense pain or bleeding, I need to get to a hospital right away. I'm so scared right now
Why the fuck does this need to get even worse?! How am I supposed to cope?

 

[brittany12]

Barb I'm sorry you're going through this! Could it have been twins and maybe you lost one? I hope there is a good ending here!

 

[Petzy]

hah Nat, that's negative indeed - maybe tomorrow it's positive!

Well ladies, I have even more bad news if there could be anymore. My HCG went up to 79 which is bad news. They're thinking it could be ectopic pregnancy so I need to go in for an ultrasound this Wednesday to see what's going on. I'm so upset right now. I went on google of course to see what that meant & stuff & I have to be very careful it doesn't rupture or if I get intense pain or bleeding, I need to get to a hospital right away. I'm so scared right now
Why the fuck does this need to get even worse?! How am I supposed to cope?

Barb - this is ridic! I didnt even know that was possible given that it had already gone down... what did it go up from??? And dont get too far into the google netherregions - it is bad news and will only make you scared and more upset. Ultrasound is on Wednesday - you cant get in today or tomorrow? That seems like a long time to wait. Big hugs and keep us posted

 

[natjenson]

Right barbs ok.....chill love ok...I know how this can be really nuts for you right now...I really feel for you......is there anyone you can call and be near right now??? I really think being alone when you get a phone call like that cant be good...especially what your going through here...
Try not to panic ok...
Are you near a kettle...perhaps a sweet cup of tea might help aliitle( not much I know ) but I can imagine how you must be feeling right now...
I feel soo bad for you
xxx

 

[barbikins]

It basically means that the embryo implanted in the wrong place. Most likely my fallopian tube. So, it didn't come out with my period. Nurse said they're scheduling me in for Wednesday to see if they can get an image through ultrasound to see what's going on. She didn't say 100% ectopic but seems most likely. I don't see what else it is that it's gone up. But it only went up from 37 to 79...she said it's not a good sign.

And the more reading I do about it, the worse I feel. This is really bad news & it seems like I won't be trying again for a long time.

 

[Petzy]

It basically means that the embryo implanted in the wrong place. Most likely my fallopian tube. So, it didn't come out with my period. Nurse said they're scheduling me in for Wednesday to see if they can get an image through ultrasound to see what's going on. She didn't say 100% ectopic but seems most likely. I don't see what else it is that it's gone up. But it only went up from 37 to 79...she said it's not a good sign.

And the more reading I do about it, the worse I feel. This is really bad news & it seems like I won't be trying again for a long time.

Barb I think the best thing to do is get off the internet and wait till your appointment - you have no clue what the answer is yet so I wouldnt spend your time looking at worst case scenarios and this is coming from a complete hypochondriac~! Did you tell your DH? what did he say. Honestly I would go home and crack a beer and watch some shitty television and do what you can to relax - it may not be worst case scenario and it could be something easily resolved so I am sending positive thoughts and vibes - but I would also like to add this is total shit. xoxoxox

 

[natjenson]

It basically means that the embryo implanted in the wrong place. Most likely my fallopian tube. So, it didn't come out with my period. Nurse said they're scheduling me in for Wednesday to see if they can get an image through ultrasound to see what's going on. She didn't say 100% ectopic but seems most likely. I don't see what else it is that it's gone up. But it only went up from 37 to 79...she said it's not a good sign.

And the more reading I do about it, the worse I feel. This is really bad news & it seems like I won't be trying again for a long time.

You can try sooner than you think barbs...the only delay at the moment is not knowing what's actually going on....as soon as you know what's happening you can begin to plan the next step....
( I hate saying this) but if removal is needed you can begin as soon as bleeding stops....and if removal not needed the Same applies.
If the latter is needed they may say beware off ttc bc of infection but usually it should be ok...apart from dating reasons aswell...



Can I ask? Doesn't iui place your egg and sperm in a pacific place during the procedure?

Xxx

 

[barbikins]

Every thing I've read says if I do the shot to get rid of it then i have to wait about 3 months for the shot to go away. Or else my body may reabsorbe it on its own but then I wont ovulate untily my hcg is down. there is also a potential for surgery. everything's up in the air.

 

[Petzy]

Major FX this is a best case scenario and not even an ectopic hopefully. I just hate that you have to wait till Wednesday!

 

[natjenson]

Hiya Kay...where are you? Hope everything's alright?


xxx

 

[Dancbabe89]

Barb- no chance of vanishing twin??

 

[xxxklkxxx]

Hiya girls, wow had some reading to catch up on for today.
My scan went ok, it was internal and she managed to find the gestational sac, which appeared to be in the correct place. They said its highly unlikely to be ectopic but they can't yet rule it out :-/ and I'm to have another scan on 1st may as they want to see a baby and heartbeat if its viable. She actually booked it for 31st April until OH pointed out that day doesn't exist lol.

Barbs - please don't panic, if it is ectopic the embryo is so small yet it's unlikely to cause a rupture and you don't have pain which is why they probably aren't rushing your scan. If they do find an ectopic they will likely have found it early enough and will try giving you the 2 injections first rather than any surgery. You have to look out for bleeding and 1 sided pain and shoulder tip pain. I've got all the leaflets on it all from the hospital. The ultrasound will probably be internal like I had today, I don't know if you've had 1 before? But it wasn't as bad as I expected it was less uncomfortable than having a swab taken. You'll be ok. It's a scary time I know but try not to worry too much it will just take over. I'm so sorry this happening for you, you don't deserve all this worry xxx

 

[barbikins]

klk, thanks for the tips! I had my period so that's the bleeding I encountered. I did read that I can get shots for it so I hope that's the likely story. And I just hope there is left over stuff in my uterus & that's the issue. I can't deal with any issue with my tubes.
How can your doctor's say they can't rule out ectopic? What's the problem now? Wouldn't your ectopic mean it's in the wrong place? B/C that's what it means.

Danc, I read up on vanishing twin but my numbers are just SO low. And I bleed a LOT - heavy bleeding & blood clots so not possible. No, the nurse said it's bad news. There was no signs of hope.

Meg, I hate that I have to wait for Wednesday too. I'm just really sad & scared. I hate this so much. I was starting to feel better this past weekend & I'm back to feeling horrible.

 

[xxxklkxxx]

As long as the docs are aware of everything then you will be ok. They won't leave you to it if they think your in danger. I can take pics of the leaflet If you want but try not to google its scary stuff on there.
I'm not entirely sure why they can't rule it out completely, I guess there's always a chance of a twin being in the tube or something rare. She did keep saying its highly unlikely. They also mentioned the sac was right at the top but she said that's good so it's rather confusing to me?
Don't feel sad and horrible, all will be ok. There's no point on worrying too much you will make yourself ill. What will be, will be. Worrying and getting stressed won't stop it but it will make you feel worse. Just try to deal with it as it comes, 1 step at a time and try not to think of the 'what ifs', i do that alot myself and get myself all worked up and agitated and it doesnt do anyone any good xx

 

[xxxklkxxx]

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