6 DPO...& ...POAS until positive!

[barbikins]

Hi crazy! Good luck & all the best xo

So I went to Dollarama cuz I needed stuff & picked up a test. So yeah...25miu doesn't show jack shit. I think they're 25miu?

 

[Petzy]

Hi crazy! Good luck & all the best xo

So I went to Dollarama cuz I needed stuff & picked up a test. So yeah...25miu doesn't show jack shit. I think they're 25miu?

Yeah they honestly SUCK I couldnt believe the doctor at the walk in clinic i went to on Monday told me to get them instead of FRER... he was a useless dinosaur. Lucky for me I have two FRER in my drawer at home LOL

 

[Petzy]

Hay meg
How are you love...good I hope

Yep I'm a bad worrier...lol...
It's a good therapy ...ok ill be honest with you girls here... I have panic attacts....when out doors...alone.....I HAD to get something done about it when I found I was pregnant with Harry...the thought of it happening to me when he was born was horrific....when it happens I have to rush home!
Luckily I am MUCH better now and it can sometimes still happen but the therapy taught me how to recognise it creeping up and how to manage it.
I do do yoga meg I find it very peaceful but after having a baby it can so what play on your back alittle....I also love to sparr and vent ! (Boxing)It's flipping great!
And funny too....I have such a euphoria after it it's an amazing feeling...I feel cleansed and toned :and aches lol) after a good old Sesh .lol

Well I will be back later got to sort little mans tea out...and he's yelling at me lol...

xxx

Hey Nat, I am glad you have improved a lot. Panic attacks are very common but can be so awful. You have such a good spirit about you...

I love boxing too - kickboxing anyways havent done it in awhile though.

 

[barbikins]

Right, Meg? Honestly I had bad experiences. I was getting negatives when I was pregnant in March. Stupid.

Nat, I've had bouts of anxiety attacks when I was younger. I had it badly. Eventually I trained myself to deal with it. I find some times it comes on when I get anxious about a situation...usually when I can't control it. We all have "some thing" xoxox

 

[Petzy]

Right, Meg? Honestly I had bad experiences. I was getting negatives when I was pregnant in March. Stupid.

Nat, I've had bouts of anxiety attacks when I was younger. I had it badly. Eventually I trained myself to deal with it. I find some times it comes on when I get anxious about a situation...usually when I can't control it. We all have "some thing" xoxox

Oh yes so true - I have TONS! lol I just let them out piece by piece so you dont dont freak out and abandon me LMAO jk....



2 hours till this work day is over and we are that much closer to the long weekend Barb! How is the new house? Exciting I hope the weather turns out to be decent this weekend I plan to spend most of it by the pool. Having a couple friends over Sat for Drinks and then Sunday for bbq.... I intend to shop for a bikini and some shorts on Sat morning and then lay out and read my book!

 

[barbikins]

I've had such a busy 3 days coming back from holiday's. Yuck. We may be closed tomorrow as well so I'm crossing my fingers for a 4 day weekend!!!!

New house is great! We are still half in boxes So I hope to tackle it this weekend. I also need to clean the house & it's more house to clean. Yuck. LOL

Sounds like an amazing weekend!!!! I'd love to do that. UGh but I have too much to do. And I don't have a swimming pool. Not sure what we'll do. We have the kiddo so we can't just work all weekend I guess...wouldn't be fair to her? Meh. LOL

I'm getting anxious for this evening. Friends of ours should be coming by to see the house. She's over 6 months pregnant and haven't seen her since before she was pregnant. I feel like running away. I sorta want to get it over with & at the same time I'm so worried about having very awkward conversations & stumbling over my words. When I get into those situations w/people I don't know what to say & panic takes over.
Fak.....I hope they cancel. See, I thought by the time I'd have to see her or any of my pregnant friends, I'd also be pregnant. Infact, I'm supposed to be right now. UGH. I'd be 4 months along had it not been for the fucking miscarriage.

 

[natjenson]

Yae I'm home ...

Right ,hello again ladies lol....
It's real hard to grab five mins at my mums...lol....
I have her reading over my shoulder so I try to stay off the forum when she around ha ha...
She asks too many questions ...lol. Bless....

Yeah the panic attacks suck bad for me....horrid horrid feeling knowing its about to hit!....
It's comferting to know that other people suffer too...Gawd that sounds bad lol...
Naaaa I mean ...when it's happening I feel like suck a tw@@t in public...people have been pretty nice about it and even helped me but I can't imagine what the passer bys are thinking....
It dosnt happen so often any more in fact I set myself targets....
I will plan a trip into town and now I actually look forward to it...
In fact I have a nice shopping spree coming right up......wooohooo...river island -Jane Norman - Zara- and primarni here I come....lol...
Don't get to indulge much in them shops to offen so I'm REALLY looking forward to that...

Crazy: sorry to hear you got "stuff" going down atm ...I hope it all comes together for you

Momma: real sorry your body is not playing ball....
Great that you have your holiday to look forward to tho...ahhhhh the Bahamas ....you lucky lady you....sneak me in your suitcase yeah....lol
Are. You going to go doctors when you get back? ...
Barbs is right temping WILL give you some idea what's actually going on with your body too...I know you already pretty much in tune with yourself already but temping opens up a whole new world of your body...I have found it so much more than I could have ever imagined already
We miss you too lol
Good luck momma and all the best with your holiday too....

Barbs.....re the bbs....I had sore bbs last cycle and I thought they were pretty sore back then but jeeees they are unbearable this time around....I'm putting it down to feeling crappy tho...btw I'm feeling much better now....touch wood I don't feel sick anymore....phew lol...


Meg your plan for the weekend sounds bliss....laying by the pool kicking back with a book...can I come ? Lol
Sorry your in law father was so insensitive...he probably didn't realise your situation but -well -he should have thought before allowing the mouth to make a noise first ...he he...


Chere, sorry to hear your feeling so down...and big sorry to the age comments ...I forget we are still pretty young here...and so ARE YOU!....one day you will look back and wish you were 40 again lol...
Re the job....it must be painful for you...I'm sorry...I do hope another door opens and you find somthing suitable and equally as passionate about soon.
Yaye....back in the game again yeah....lots of bd-ing to do...ha ha ha my oH is like yours...always going on about the "knocking you up thing"... Thing is he can talk the talk but when it comes to the "inconspicuous" planned timing he suddenly feels very tired ha ha...after a few days of it of course lol...
Good luck for this cycle and big masseeevo fx for you chere.

Well ladies...I'm 9dpo today and altho I am feeling a little crappy still I feel like I am out...bfns today too ...dam sticks!...or shall I say pee!
Not much to report really...temp is nice and steady...bbs are fecking killin me...lower back ache and cm is quite ALOT too....that's it really...sounds like good signs but I bet it's my body responding to tummy flue!...flipping viruses eh!....playing tricks on me grrrrr lol...

Hope you are all well me petals...
Back later to see if your tests are getting any progressions barbs...


xxx

 

[Petzy]

I've had such a busy 3 days coming back from holiday's. Yuck. We may be closed tomorrow as well so I'm crossing my fingers for a 4 day weekend!!!!

New house is great! We are still half in boxes So I hope to tackle it this weekend. I also need to clean the house & it's more house to clean. Yuck. LOL

Sounds like an amazing weekend!!!! I'd love to do that. UGh but I have too much to do. And I don't have a swimming pool. Not sure what we'll do. We have the kiddo so we can't just work all weekend I guess...wouldn't be fair to her? Meh. LOL

I'm getting anxious for this evening. Friends of ours should be coming by to see the house. She's over 6 months pregnant and haven't seen her since before she was pregnant. I feel like running away. I sorta want to get it over with & at the same time I'm so worried about having very awkward conversations & stumbling over my words. When I get into those situations w/people I don't know what to say & panic takes over.
Fak.....I hope they cancel. See, I thought by the time I'd have to see her or any of my pregnant friends, I'd also be pregnant. Infact, I'm supposed to be right now. UGH. I'd be 4 months along had it not been for the fucking miscarriage.

I understand- theres no way to avoid thinking about that unfortunately but I think what I would do is just try very hard to be there for your friend best you can, do your 5-10 min of baby talk and how shes doing, and then move on. Talk about the house and other things. Make a list of a few things in your head to bring up so you can jump subjects. and if all else fails, pour yourself a glass of wine before she shows so you feel looser and not so closed off. It will help.

 

[barbikins]

Meg, I'm thinking the later. Alcohol LOL
Thanks hun xo

 

[Petzy]

Meg, I'm thinking the later. Alcohol LOL
Thanks hun xo

Works well for me lol got me to relax through the joy of MC lol

 

[barbikins]

Hrm, Nat sounds interesting...your symptoms are so preggo like.
Therefore you should be KNOCKED UP!!!

I took a FRER ....dont know why. I"m starting to panic. It's got the faintest of faint lines but i wanna take one tonight/tomorrow of my IC at home. That would be better to compare.

Looks like our friends arent coming by tonight,. I can relax a bit...

 

[mommaplus05]

Hrm, Nat sounds interesting...your symptoms are so preggo like.
Therefore you should be KNOCKED UP!!!

I took a FRER ....dont know why. I"m starting to panic. It's got the faintest of faint lines but i wanna take one tonight/tomorrow of my IC at home. That would be better to compare.

Looks like our friends arent coming by tonight,. I can relax a bit...

Im sooooo rootin for ya barb!! Im thinking positive thoughts. I called doc yest and she did u/s 5this am to conferm whether I am or am not ovulating..ultrasound dis not conferm mature eghies nor confirm recent o..so dnt know wat all that means..she is goin to order more testing hut I have decided to wait til after my trip. That way I dnt have results awaiting in my head. Gona try n relax til then ...hopin my body just decides to start back up on its own..

 

[mommaplus05]

So bizzarre though..aftwr that possible chemical I had it seems my body aint been right ever since..

 

[Petzy]

Hrm, Nat sounds interesting...your symptoms are so preggo like.
Therefore you should be KNOCKED UP!!!

I took a FRER ....dont know why. I"m starting to panic. It's got the faintest of faint lines but i wanna take one tonight/tomorrow of my IC at home. That would be better to compare.

Looks like our friends arent coming by tonight,. I can relax a bit...

Barb does it look anything like my faintest of faints?? Ill post my first one from last Friday am

 

[Petzy]

Also, too bad your friends arent coming by as Im sure it is likely affecting the friendship BUT at the same time I totally get the relief
and NOW i want to seeyour FRER!

 

[natjenson]

Hrm, Nat sounds interesting...your symptoms are so preggo like.
Therefore you should be KNOCKED UP!!!

I took a FRER ....dont know why. I"m starting to panic. It's got the faintest of faint lines but i wanna take one tonight/tomorrow of my IC at home. That would be better to compare.

Looks like our friends arent coming by tonight,. I can relax a bit...

Ooh really ? do you think so barb?....you know I really don't know anymore ...I feel out....bc I felt ill.
Got a week to go so ill guess ill see....oH said he noticed my boobs were hot earlier tonight? Sorry tmi lol ...maybe he meant the other hot ...lol

Gl with your ic's tonight barbs I'm with meg...frer? Lol xx

xxx

 

[barbikins]

Well our friends are coming but only one half...the nonpregnant half lol

My FRER is way lighter. If I post you probably won't see it.
My test from this morning dried and looks similar to last night. Just peed and its pretty well negative....so, here we go!

 

[barbikins]

And progression. Nervous about tmr morning...

 

[natjenson]

And progression. Nervous about tmr morning...

Yep I see barb...it's practically negative now eh...I'm nervous for you too...

So the non preggo friend is coming...phewwww....now you don't have to swerve the really hard convos and bump!.....I spoke to a pregnant shop keeper the other day....I relised when I walked out I didn't actually look her in the eye...I stared at her bump the whole time whilst she was talking to me...I felt numb!....no envy- nothing.... I wonder why I was like that....I didn't think all the way home with my milk in my hand...hmmmm that's not like me.....lol normally I will talk to myself all the way home"yeah you look lovely with your bump.look at me and my bump ....it's alright have your bump!...oh and that top looked ridiculous in that bump"lol hah ah pmsl.......really ? Lol

Then I feel bad...


I'm glad you can relax now tonight barb...glass o wine maybe?
Good luck with your evening love I hope it's a nice one for you...


xxx

 

[karevet]

momma, I'm sorry it seems you've stopped Ovulating. Are you basing this solely on your OPKS? Will you be going to a doctor to see what's going on? I don't know how your health care system is but if you're able to go for cycle monitoring, it would answer your questions. CM is covered through our government so its not out of pocket per se in Canada. Do you temp? That would also help answer your question.

Hi Chere, sorry to hear you're down. I hope that you get an equally great opportunity to work for a company you can enjoy.
Men love to say how they're going to knock us up real good eh? As if positions or frequency has anything to do with it after so many months? LOL Not.

I bought PreSeed from Well.ca. Check it out. It's pretty quick delivery too. There is brand sold at Shoppers but I can't remember what it's called. Its in the section with the condoms & such...perhaps you should have a look. Sorry, wish I remembered the brand now.

I logged onto my blog last night & I updated a new post...to my lovely surprise this morning I get an email to moderate a post from this woman who had some sorta panties wedged up her ass to give me heck about my attitude. Like really? It really pissed me off. I just deleted it & I'll block her if I see her on my blog again but I don't understand how anyone could give me shit about my negative attitude after everything I've been through. Although I'm sure she read 1 post & decided to make a judgement call based on it. But seriously, no woman should judge another woman for how they deal with a loss or conceiving for as long as I have. I have that blog not only to share info & maybe help other woman but also a place for me to vent about my frustrations. Here is what the woman wrote:
"Just because you didn’t get pregnant after a MC doesn’t mean it’s “bullshit”. I have a 2 year old who we conceived 2 weeks after my last MC. Don’t be so negative."

Hi Barb, this is karevet, remember me? I've been a lurker from day one. I want you to know that your feeling of bullshit after a miscarriage is so normal. What women who is ttc wouldn't feel that way after what you've been through?

I just got diagnosed with a blighted ovum at 9w3d. (Second mc in a row) My doc recommended cyclotec instead of a d&c. I did it, it was horrible!!! Painful!!! Emotional!! And I had to retrieve my "products of conception" out of the toilet and put them in a Ziploc container shoved into a paper bag. I then had to sit in the waiting room, holding my bag, where all the cute pregnant women are sitting. If that isn't bullshit, then I don't know what is. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life.

What people don't understand is that not everyone gets their light at the end of the tunnel! Many of us can't see it yet. Many think we may never see it. Many see it, get a short devastating ride that didn't make it the whole way. Many get an easy straight, fast train. I never know what train someone is currently on. I'm sure as hell not going to judge them about it.

Miscarriages suck.
Missed opportunities suck.
Waiting sucks.

What we all hope is that all this heartache will be worth it in the end. Barb, Nat, Meg, Talia, Momma, (sorry if I missed someone), you all deserve it. We all deserve it.I think the reason I keep hanging on with you guys is because we have all had our own various kinds of heartache on this journey, but we keep dusting ourselves off and starting over. I admire your tenacity and aspire to be like you guys.



Kare