6 DPO...& ...POAS until positive!

[ChereMichelle]

Oh Nat, I'm so sorry. Sorry for everything, for you, for everyone...why is it so damn easy for those who don't seem to want kids or care? But forget what your mother says- it's not messing with nature. We're lucky to have these options now, think back a hundred years ago - women didn't. Not everyone has the same "plumbing" and some people, need a little help. Science and medicine has come along way so lets use it if it's available.

I had no idea it was so reasonably priced tho, thanks Barb. I say reasonable lightly, I'm broke lol...BUT I can see it's a more feasible route than some others.

I still haven't O'd...but we're hoping to catch the egg....IF I even have any. I always think of that too. (age) If we're not preg by end of this cycle we're off to my GP for a referral to a specialist. I don't have time on my side. But it gives me such hope reading the over 35 boards on here and the amount of women who conceive naturally at my age. I feel hopeful- sometimes.

Must finish coffee, already we're in the mid 20's over here.....summer!
xo

 

[ChereMichelle]

Well they couldn't actually diagnose without a ct, didnt have 3500$ for one but ruled out any breaks etc with an X-ray. It's technically a fibrocartilagenous embolism, she fits the symptoms exactly. Sudden onset of paralysis and pain, she lost control of her bowels immediately. But has been making great strides within half an hour of the injury. She's just on pain meds, antiinflammatories and muscle relaxers. Tramadol, robaxin and met-something. Lol prognosis is good especially since she was able to walk so quickly, many recover to 80+ % mobility with physio and rehab etc. for now she's on rest orders basically and see her improvement and reassess at the vet on Friday. I'm thinking of getting her to get some acupuncture or chiropractic if she's cleared to have it. FX but she's doing really well

Metacam? Non steroidal anti inflammatory lol....yay! This all sounds so positive. I have to say we've not seen anything like this at my clinic in recent years- more seizures than strokes, but the prognosis is good. I'm a firm believer in the love animals, and us when we're sick, does wonders. We have some clients at my clinic who literally will do anything and the power of hope is limitless. Keep showering her with attention! Let me know what they say on Friday!

 

[Petzy]

Hey Ladies,

I'm so sorry Nat. You & I are both feeling quite glum this month.
I've been feeling sad since that last IUI appointment. This past weekend I've felt depressed & I still feel it. I'm not in a good place either.
And some times that's just how it's going to be.
IUI is a great option & it might not be too expensive? I forgot do you know the cost? it costs us almost $600/month for two IUI's. We do it back to back. Some doctors only do 1 IUI. That would cost $300. I'm glad my DH is on board to keep trying IUI after August. I get scared some times because he's very practical & frugal & he doesn't need this as much as I do. And some days I worry he'll pull the plug on me or suggest a long break. But he made me feel better yesterday by saying we don't have to stop IUI. Because like you, Nat, I feel like I have to make this one "count". Ugh.

I'm going today to grab more Maca, R.R.tea & Bromine.

Whoo Meg, I hope it happens again for you soon & successfully.
I've kept really active all weekend & plan to go for a run today after work.
Have my SD again this evening. Her presence this weekend made things harder on me. I need a little break from her. She's gone until the weekend AFTER this coming up....which will be a good break. I just find sometimes it's salt rubbing in wound when she's around and I'm finding out I'm not pregnant. And she was so needy with her dad this week which just made it worse.
FX

Good for you keeping active.... I think it helps the mood at lot actually. But I take vitamin D every day to keep me sane too lol and the fact that it helps with TTC is a bonus I suppose...

I am glad DH is supportive of continuing with IUI... I can imagine that is a budget breaker but the goal is money well spent , right? My DH is also practical and somewhat frugal so I know he would cringe a little at that... I hope we wont need to but at this point anything is possible.

Are you close at all with your SD? Have you bonded on any level? Part of me can see how hard that would be - salt in the wound and what not - the other part wonders if it could not help a little to have a strong relationship there. but I dont know the situation and it sounds like her mother is a little whacked which never helps...

Has AF shown up Barb? full force or what?

 

[Petzy]

Oh Nat, I'm so sorry. Sorry for everything, for you, for everyone...why is it so damn easy for those who don't seem to want kids or care? But forget what your mother says- it's not messing with nature. We're lucky to have these options now, think back a hundred years ago - women didn't. Not everyone has the same "plumbing" and some people, need a little help. Science and medicine has come along way so lets use it if it's available.

I had no idea it was so reasonably priced tho, thanks Barb. I say reasonable lightly, I'm broke lol...BUT I can see it's a more feasible route than some others.

I still haven't O'd...but we're hoping to catch the egg....IF I even have any. I always think of that too. (age) If we're not preg by end of this cycle we're off to my GP for a referral to a specialist. I don't have time on my side. But it gives me such hope reading the over 35 boards on here and the amount of women who conceive naturally at my age. I feel hopeful- sometimes.

Must finish coffee, already we're in the mid 20's over here.....summer!
xo

Well said, re science, Chere

I think its good to get your referral going just in case but there are a lot of women who do conceive in their 40's naturally. that being said It is a good plan and smarter to do it now than wait I think... You should feel hopeful for sure

 

[crazy84]

Nat- sorry dang Af!!!! Maybe she won't show though!!! :/
Hmmmm....when will i test?? I would be lying if I said I hadn't already!!! Lmao!!! Just wanted to give it a try.... Now I won't test again until the 8th or 9th!

 

[Petzy]

Nat- sorry dang Af!!!! Maybe she won't show though!!! :/
Hmmmm....when will i test?? I would be lying if I said I hadn't already!!! Lmao!!! Just wanted to give it a try.... Now I won't test again until the 8th or 9th!

Best of luck Crazy How many DPO are you today?

 

[crazy84]

Not far enough!! Lol I am on cd 16...... I don't know for sure when I ovulated... I know I had ewcm cd11&12 and the back to creamy... So I think it happened maybe cd 12

 

[barbikins]

Heya!

Chere, yep IUI is reasonable especially between the two of us it's $300/month each expense. We can manage it. We can't afford IVF so that's not going to be an option even though I am sure my RE will bring it up in Aug if I am not pregnant.

Meg, I do have a strong relationship w/my SD but it doesn't make it easy. It actually made it intolerable after loosing my daughter & it took a long time after that to come back full circle. But there is still some residual resentment because she gets to be here & have her dad & another crazy woman gave him a live,healthy child. And there is nothing more I wish that our baby was still here to be a part of our family too.
I had a very hard time seeing him be all daddy to her & loving. And some times it is too now when its moments when I'm really down about our infertility. I'd say it's a pretty normal reaction. It would make this much easier on me if he wasn't a dad too. But it's not the case.

PS: I accidentally bought MACA not in capsules. FAKING GROSS. I opened it too so no exchanging it FAK me.

spotting ramped up but no AF yet. It's due today tho.

 

[OurLilFlu]

Chere, I'll keep you updated for sure, I just had my evening shift cancelled at the hospital so I booked in with our vet for tonight. Hopefully she gets the all clear and I hope to learn some exercises to help her back leg weakness. And yes she's been the centre of attention, as always, Sunday I basically just laid with her on the floor or the couch beside her massaging her legs to help the stiffness. Poor thing. Anyways I feel like I'm hijacking the thread when I gush about my pup lol

Hope everyone is having a great July day!

 

[crazy84]

Ok girls... This is totally disgusting.... But I need to ask because I googled it and got mixed answers.....I just checked my cm and I had yellowish snot like and crazy stretchy cm...wth??? No smell.... I don't suspect an infection....ok...I read it can be a good sign...but I also read this one post from a lady that said that was what she got when she ovulated!!!! So now I am all over here like wth?? Lol

 

[barbikins]

sounds like Egg White Cervical Mucus...which is extremely fertile. Get BDing!!!! FX

 

[Petzy]

Barb - I understand what you are saying about your DS - that makes complete sense to me. That would be very difficult. It certainly makes it more complicated. I wish you didnt have that added to deal with on top of your loss... I really hope that BFP comes soon so your family can be whole xoxo

 

[barbikins]

Aw thanks Meg. I feel the same way. All the time.
I can't wait for this weekend just DH & I....ahhhhhh

 

[barbikins]

I just want AF to faking start! maybe my run will induce it? LOL

 

[natjenson]

I just want AF to faking start! maybe my run will induce it? LOL

Hi barb

Thankyou so much for your kind words and support.
Re:the run!....that should defo help to bring along af....I happen to know walking can make bleeding heavier so it should certainly help to bring it on too...or at least speed things up alittle.

Can I share a little on my experiance with how you feel about sd...TOTALLY understand how you feel....
My story is about my niece so I suppose it's not quite the same but I had a very close relationship with her from birth....she was a prem and I literally help to raise her as my bum of a brother skipped out of town when she came along...(the flaming coward!)
Anyways....I was extremely close with her and is a part of her life in a big way still but before I had Harry I also felt like I was holding back abit as all I wanted was my own child....my brother who didn't get this -I felt like he would rub his fertility in my face!....he has 5 kids....to none of which he financially supports or raises....I resent him in a big way and this affected my relationship with my niece back then....I wouldn't allow myself to get too emotionally attached as I knew she wasn't mine but on the other hand I loved her with all of my heart....and then when Harry came along I found that I no longer had all of the time I used to have with her...I still make time but now I just want to concentrate solely on my son and now she is old enough to "hold her own" I hope she can understand that. She is ten and is also very needy...which I must admit annoys the hell out of me bc she will do something to revert the attention back to her when I am trying to do something important...grrrrr lol
So I can totally relate to how you feel about the bond and how sometimes you can't allow yourself to have that connection because all you want is your own family...and it breaks my heart how you say that dh shows his affection towards his dd around you when you feel like this....I suppose he can't NOT do it but in a sense it must hurt you still.
And your sd mommy sounds like a nightmare...how patient you must be barb...

As for us both being down about this cycle this month...feck it's bad this time...I have cryed non stop today...on and off...
I found myself in tesco's today frantically searching for something that could help us with ttc this last cycle...like a crazy lady fighting back the tears reading all of the ladles and completely not paying attention to who I was stood in the way of...
I am sorry your down too barb and that your iui wasn't sucessfull again...I admire how you manage to hold it together...I am really scared about if we go for the iui I would end up flipping out and end up with that black cloud above me again...I am like that barb I tend to MAKE myself vulnerable to these situations and buckle under pressure. which sucks!
I am normally quite strong but when things go beyond my control I hate it !
Big to you love.
Well I hope af Hurrys herself along so you can get the show back on the road...

Are you going to chill with a bottle o wine this weekend?...do somthing for yourself again I say...get some me time in!...you could do with it guess...clean slate -new beginnings and a renewed heart full of hope.
Well I will pray for that for you tonight anyways lol...

You take care barb and I hope your run goes well...


xxx

 

[natjenson]

Hi ladies...

Thankyou all sooo much for your lovely messages...and support.
Gawsh I am soo down about this cycle today...and angry!.....why why why isn't it working...something's wrong I just know....
I just can't do this waiting game all over again!...
I have cryed myself out...my eyes are even bloodshot with the tears and tiredness....
I feel like I have just lost the last year of my life...counting the days away...I cannot honestly recall much over the last year....like I am in a world of my own here...
We all feel the same about our journeys....how why we all seem to being robbed of our entitlements as a woman as a wife as a daughter,sister ect...
I am not paying attention to extended family's....I feel so selfish
Ii just hope everyone can forgive me
Nobody has said this but today when I listened to other members of my family it's like they have all moved forward with out me- but I see that I have done this to myself!

Nether the less if they truly love me then surely they must understand my plight my mission? Right ?

Ugh! I feel like a soggy wet paper bag...lol....and I still joke!

I officially think I shall call June the shitest month so far.....it's produced bad news for most of us!
In some ways it's has brought us new hopes and inspirations... which I am glad about bc I think with out the goodness that we had from it I probably would have lost the plot today if we didn't . Lol

Anyways so so so sorry to come on here with my sorrows...I may just take up some wine and drown them instead lol...
Hay not a bad Idea that . Lol...

Well you lovely ladies take care ok and I will be for sure back tomorrow to complain about the slut arriving lol...

Night night all...


xxx

 

[barbikins]

Update: the witch arrived! Finally... Blessing & a curse LOL. Facking wretched witch.

Nat, I'm so sorry you're so down. And You know what, I feel the things you feel. There are times I feel like a crazy woman. And I totally have forgotten a big portion of last year. There are gaps that I actually can't recollect. And I remember talking about this with friends & my therapist. It's just so consuming. I dont know what finally clicked but since the MC in March I am less invested. I bought 50 tests & used like half? I have enough for this cycle. I used to be testing like a mad person every time I went pee.
I think in time this will lessen for you too & you'll feel calmer. Or I hope so. I feel better now than I did any time last year. Last year was a write off for me.
Just hang in there knowing you have your appointment in August. Best thing you can do is test everything out. Find if there is an issue. It may just be that since your MC in January your body's not ready just yet. It will happen though.

I've pulled myself away from some friends & family too...so I know what you're feeling. I am not feeling very social at all. Haven't in a very long time. I notice it a lot at work.
But that's just what it is. I have loving people who stuck it through
And I remember you mentioning your niece. It's hard some times to be around small children when you want one of your own & it's not happening. So many varieties of salt to rub in the wound!

So did AF arrive? Are we cycle buddies?! I have cramps now

Meg, hows the OPK???

 

[Petzy]

Hi ladies...

Thankyou all sooo much for your lovely messages...and support.
Gawsh I am soo down about this cycle today...and angry!.....why why why isn't it working...something's wrong I just know....
I just can't do this waiting game all over again!...
I have cryed myself out...my eyes are even bloodshot with the tears and tiredness....
I feel like I have just lost the last year of my life...counting the days away...I cannot honestly recall much over the last year....like I am in a world of my own here...
We all feel the same about our journeys....how why we all seem to being robbed of our entitlements as a woman as a wife as a daughter,sister ect...
I am not paying attention to extended family's....I feel so selfish
Ii just hope everyone can forgive me
Nobody has said this but today when I listened to other members of my family it's like they have all moved forward with out me- but I see that I have done this to myself!

Nether the less if they truly love me then surely they must understand my plight my mission? Right ?

Ugh! I feel like a soggy wet paper bag...lol....and I still joke!

I officially think I shall call June the shitest month so far.....it's produced bad news for most of us!
In some ways it's has brought us new hopes and inspirations... which I am glad about bc I think with out the goodness that we had from it I probably would have lost the plot today if we didn't . Lol

Anyways so so so sorry to come on here with my sorrows...I may just take up some wine and drown them instead lol...
Hay not a bad Idea that . Lol...

Well you lovely ladies take care ok and I will be for sure back tomorrow to complain about the slut arriving lol...

Night night all...


xxx

Nat I am sorry you are feeling this way.

And I totally agree! June was a total shit month!!! Except for OurLilFlu lol

I really hope the upcoming months brings us all some long awaited good news.

Hang tight until your August appt Nat - you are doing everything right and perhaps a mental break is something overdue. Easier said than done of course but maybe try to feel confident that you have got an appt set, and you have one child so its very likely to happen soon. Dont feel like a failure or selfish. I understand that though. Maybe you should spend some time with your family as you mentioned you havent been giving them much attention this year.. perhaps some get togethers are in order this cycle and it gives you something to look foward to, as well as distract you from the evil 2ww.... Do you think you could ever take one month off of testing early and wait for AF? I did that for most of my cycles and it does help... just a thought.

Thinking of you and I hope you feel better today. xx

 

[Petzy]

Update: the witch arrived! Finally... Blessing & a curse LOL. Facking wretched witch.

Nat, I'm so sorry you're so down. And You know what, I feel the things you feel. There are times I feel like a crazy woman. And I totally have forgotten a big portion of last year. There are gaps that I actually can't recollect. And I remember talking about this with friends & my therapist. It's just so consuming. I dont know what finally clicked but since the MC in March I am less invested. I bought 50 tests & used like half? I have enough for this cycle. I used to be testing like a mad person every time I went pee.
I think in time this will lessen for you too & you'll feel calmer. Or I hope so. I feel better now than I did any time last year. Last year was a write off for me.
Just hang in there knowing you have your appointment in August. Best thing you can do is test everything out. Find if there is an issue. It may just be that since your MC in January your body's not ready just yet. It will happen though.

I've pulled myself away from some friends & family too...so I know what you're feeling. I am not feeling very social at all. Haven't in a very long time. I notice it a lot at work.
But that's just what it is. I have loving people who stuck it through
And I remember you mentioning your niece. It's hard some times to be around small children when you want one of your own & it's not happening. So many varieties of salt to rub in the wound!

So did AF arrive? Are we cycle buddies?! I have cramps now

Meg, hows the OPK???

Barb! I am glad AF has shown - CD1 here you are!! blahhh eh??? FACK!!!

Sorry you got the wrong maca... maybe you can put it in something to make it bearable? or are you going to pick up the capsules... I havent been taking it this cycle or last cycle with the antibiotics... maybe next month I will if nothing happens.

I havent taken an OPK today but I will in about an hour or so...

DH and I havent had succesful BD'ing this week.. hes been really stressed with work and a lot going on. I dont pressure him so I will just hope that now that my fertile days are starting we can get a few in before O....its so frustrating when this happens but usually it works out so we will see.

 

[barbikins]

ya faking blow donkey balls! but now i can get on with the show!
i hope this month will work!!!!!!!

i am thinking to go buy another bottle. its $40 but i cant handle the taste. i put it in a smoothie this am but its all i could taste. yuck. anyway i loved the energy it gave to me too! so worth it either way. maca has lots of health benefits.

good luck getting laid! lol....give him some booze to loosen up. lol!
ive been really stressed so i haven't been in da mood.