Beach Bump Graduates!

[Sherri81]

Okay, maybe I should take it slow with my new computer and just type in point form to lighten it's load...

HOLY SHIT BALLS!!! That is the FIRST contraction I have been able to write since getting this damn computer DAYS ago! I qonder if the question mark and brackets keys work now too.... ?????? (((({{{{

Hells yeah! Yes, I am excited. I was very upset that with a new computer I couldn't write couldn't, shouldn't, it's, don't....

The key, after much googling and checking settings.... hitting both shift keys at the same time!

Okay, I assume mixing EBM from different pumping sessions is alright as that is what I have been doing for the past 6 weeks or so.

Colby also has true colic. Apparently colic can make it seem as though they have digestive issues, even though they don't and will start getting better by about 3 months of age, but in the meantime, my Pediatrician has asked us to put him on a certain formula when I don't have enough milk for him. One is called Alimentum. But it was only available in pre watered down cans, and a 4 pack was 10 bucks, so a bit too expensive. The other was Nutremigen (?). It was a bit cheaper. Anyways, both are still milk based, but are formulated for people with milk protein allergies, and the milk protein is already pre-digested in this stuff.

We switched Colby about 4 days ago, and he has been doing much better ever since. He gets about 50% EBM and 50% of the Nutremigen. He has stopped projectile vomitting, has almost stopped spitting up, doesn't throw up curdled milk anymore, and seems to be grunting/groaning/straining less. Oh, and no more diarrhea now either.

When he is around 3 months, they said we can slowly switch him to a different regular formula to supplement the breast milk I give him.

I am pretty sure I will just always have to pump for him as he doesn't ever do good on the breast, and then my breasts end up filling up and we both get angry and frustrated.

I also noticed that Colby was pretty quiet in the NICU, but about 4 days after coming home, so almost 2.5 weeks, he got really noisy. I am a light sleeper so it really sucks having him in a bassinet in our room. He does a lot of grunting, groaning, straining, pushing and pulling his legs into his chest. He does look to be in a lot of pain, but they said that's a sign of colic, as are the noises. Hopefully he grows out of it soon.

I'm also only getting out about 3 ounces per pumping session, and it doesn't seem to be increasing at all anymore. I figure it will probably just stay there, and when Colby needs more food, I guess it will just be more formula. I'm okay with that if he is.

The sleeping is slowly starting to come along. I am pretty sure we have his nights in the proper time now, not in the days! He still screams bloody murder, but something that is sort of working for him, and maybe it will work for you too Hann, is holding him firmly and patting his bum or back while shushing in his ear. Apparently they still can't process more than 2 or 3 things at a time, so if you are holding firmly with one hand, patting with another, and shushing, they sort of get confused and can't keep up the crying because its too much. Personally, I think they can process more than 2 or 3 things at a time (there were a few books and Drs that said this), but I thought I'd give it a try anyways, and it works. Probably because the pressure makes them feel more like they are still inside, and the shushing probably sounds like white noise.

I have something else to say, and it really upset me, but in the interest of not losing all of my posts, I will post now.

 

[Sherri81]

Okay, so a week and a half ago, Child Protective Services showed up at my home, unannounced, for a home visit. Apparently, an annonymouse complaint had gone in to them due to my facebook statuses. I am fucking pissed right off about that as all I was doing was venting that I was frustrated, which I think every new parent has the right to do!

So this is how it all went down, and why I think they are closing my file...

I have been very tired as of late, obviously, so when someone knocked at my door at 10:20AM, I didn't think anything of it as we get a lot of home visits from Public Health etc... It was 2 women, and they asked to come in, so I let them. They did identify themselves as being from the Department and Child and Family Development, but since they've helped with Greg and his ADD testing, I just figured they were here to do regular testing etc with Colby.

So they came in and were shocked to see Greg, which I found to be odd, but whatever. So they started asking me all about who's child he was, was he really mine, how old etc... I was kind of annoyed, thinking surely public health would have filled them in on other children in the house, especially seeing as they followed us closely due to his prematureity. Anyways, they sat down and started asking questions about Colby. They said they'd heard he was crying a lot and they wanted to know how that was going.

So I started telling them about what's happening, who we've seen Dr wise, their reccomendations etc... And in the course of explainging what's going on with him, little things, like the fact that he was a c-section, came out. And everytime something like that came out (planned c-section that had to be done early, heart condition, flying out to Vancouver for the delivery, the cerclage etc), they seemed really shocked and in awe about what had happened with the pregnancy. Then they started asking more questions, and it came out that he was pregnancy #8, that we'd lost Devon last August etc etc... and everytime, they seemed to be hearing this info for the first time ever.

I was kind of getting annoyed by now because they'd been there for 45 minutes, I had to pump, and it was like I was rehashing my entire pregnancy history for them, which I thought they should have known if Public Health had referred them to me to help with Colby's crying/colic/purple crying...

So anyways, they finally start asking about how much support I have at home for him, and what do I do when he gets really crying, and have I thought about shaking him or hurting him or myself...

This was when I started to really wonder why they were there as they werent' giving me any help, but were just starting to ask very invasive questions. That's when I kind of clued into the whole 'child removal' aspect of their job, so I interrupted the woman and I said 'you guys take kids away from their parents, don't you?' She admitted that they do, but said that isn't all they do, that they try to work with families before removing a child. So I said, 'why are you here then? I assume public healthy told you about his crying?' And they said no, they couldn't say who, but someone had reported me because of my facebook posts, and that after visiting me they were pretty much decided that I was just frustrated and venting on facebook at 2AM because I had no one else I could talk to (because my Blackberry is always handy beside my bed and it has a FB app). So they then told me that FB isn't as private as we think, and things like this get reported to them all the time.

So they said not to worry, but they were going to probably call me again to find out how I was doing, and they wanted to call my Drs (I don't know whether to verify the miscarriage/heart condition story, or to ask them how they think I'm doing), and they wanted to call my mom as well. I said whatever, because really, what do I have to hide.

But once they were gone, I started getting really pissed that something as stupid as facebook could almost make me lose my children. I mean, I hadn't said I was going to dangle him out of a window or throw him off a bridge or anything. But this is serious being on their radar, because they have the right to investigate me periodically for the next 18 years.

All I was doing was saying I was frustrated, which I think I have the right to say. All I've ever done is try to be honest with people, and that was me being honest. But then I started wondering which of my 'friends' would report me instead of just talking to me. I ruled out everyone from out of province, as I didn't think they'd waste their time trying to find the name of the government agency that handles that, much less the phone number, and I ruled out family and close friends, as I assumed they would confront me face to face. So that left aquaintences.

There is one aquaintence I have who doesn't seem to get my sense of humour, but still comments on my posts quite often. Sometimes I correct her in a polite way so she doesn't get offended, and other times, I just leave it go. So I wondered if it was her that had done this. We know her through Ian's brother, so he asked him if she would do this, and he said no, but there was something else he'd been hearing about me through his SIL who is also an aquaintence I have on FB. So he said he'd talk to his SIL first and then get back to us.

So here's what happened. Apparently my FB page had security options allowing Friends of Friends to see my page. I thought I was private. Anyways, I guess a girl on this SILs page had noticed stuff that the SIL, my aquaintence, was posting, so she decided to look at my page since it was open to her. So then she started posting to the SIL that she should reccomend that I try this that and the other thing to try and stop his crying. I guess this happened quite a bit, so finally, they SIL asked how this girl was seeing my page. She said she could see me because the SIL was posting to me, but the SIL said she hadn't said anything to me recently and the girl was still making comments to her about me. Then this girl started sending her messages asking how she knew me, where I lived, what she knew about me etc... And then the SIL decided to tell me then that this girl has been making comments to her about me since I was pregnant with Devon last year!! She went so far as to comment to her that it was strange that I would post pictures of a dead baby on FB! So this girl, who I don't know, have never met and don't have on facebook, has been stalking my profile for over a year. The SIL knew about it and didn't tell me, and then this girl decided, without knowing me, to take it upon herself to contact CPS to say she was worried for my children!

WTF!

I am so beyond pissed right now. If I knew where this girl lived, I would go and stick a pencil in her fucking eye! You don't do something this serious over nothing!

Anyways, they never did follow through with calling my mom. And they only just called me back yesterday. They said they are probably going to drop my case and close the file, but they have to talk to their supervisor first and will notify me next week on their decision. There were a few reasons they are pretty much not interested anymore.
-they didn't know I had a kid already meaning I have already flown under their radar for 7 years, when they almost always know about a problem house before a new baby arrives.
-not knowing about the other child means the informant also didn't know me that well at all
-my house was clean. Not super clean, but for having a newborn and no sleep, it was clean
-there was no signs of drug or alcohol use (so glad I sold my last batch of meth the night before )
-they've never had a complaint about this house before
-I was holding Colby when they showed up and there didn't seem to be problems with me and him interacting
-both children were clean and seemed well taken care of
-there were signs of his breakfast on the table still, so they know they are being fed
-I seemed to be well educated and knowledgable, and willing to learn, ways to help him stop crying

So that is that. I am still f***ing pissed though! And quite honestly, (since that was how I got into trouble in the first place), its really embarassing. Druggies and alcoholics and idiots get CPS called on them. I never thought that venting would essentially get me cast into the same category.

 

[Jenni4]

Wow Sherri! That is unbelievable that someone could be so intrusive!! So sorry you had to go through that! That's just another example of why I don't want facebook!

 

[mummySS]

Bloody hell Sherri that is unbelievably out of line. Make sure you change your Facebook settings!

I'm so glad Colby is starting to settle better with the new formula, and that the authorities have seen that you are clearly a great mum!

 

[BlueViolet]

Sherri, I second what Jenni said. That's one crazy woman. I assume nothing is private online, but that's plain awful. Glad you're off their list.

About mixing milk, it's OK as long as it's the same temperature. Don't mix the fresh milk with the milk in the fridge before it gets a chance to cool down. I think that's so it stays fresh longer.

Dinner tonight was wonderful. We went to a wine bar/tapas place with dim lighting and nice music. It was so relaxing and I finally felt attractive after all this time. I had a pre-pregnancy dress on, make-up, and no spit up We went for a walk through the park after and didn't rush back. It was heaven! Of course I missed Jill, but she was well taken care of by my in-laws. They actually thanked us for letting them have cuddle time with her. I said, "no, thank You."

Just got COVERED in spit up....lovely!

 

[caz_hills]

BV - wow your meal sounds lovely! And you fit into pre-pregnancy clothes, that is amazing!

Sherri - hope everything is ok now. x

AFM - after your advice yesterday I asked Neel if he would do the middle of the night feed so that I could get a good block of sleep. He slept for 9 hours solid yesterday so was feeling great and had loads of energy and so he said yes. And I woke up this morning at 7.20 am having had 10 hours uninterupted sleep! I feel great today! Neel came to bed at 5 am so I'm not waking him at all so that he can loads of sleep too.

I don't know why I didn't ask Neel to do this before?! As we are bottle feeding, he can do the night feeds and I know it's not right for him to do it when he is at work but maybe once a week or once every ten days, I could live with that!

Also had friends over for dinner last night and I had a glass of champange! My first since he was born and also I didn't drink in pregnancy so really my first for ten months! I felt quite tiddly!

 

[topazicatzbet]

sherri thats awefull. glad its getting sorted. someone rang social services saying my mum wasnt looking after my gran and getting her shopping. thankfully they were able to dismiss it straight away as we has had home cae in to help her after a prolonged hospital stay and they were able to say it was a load of rubbish. wish i knew who it was though cos id be borrowing your pencil. lol.

my poor boy is full of cold (caught from him big bro who is also really snotty) its throwing his bf off and i feel aweful not being able to give him anything to help, at least ds1 can have calpol and cough medicine.

 

[melissasbump]

Morining ladies.

Sherri, that is outrageous and the last thing you need! great they are dropping the case, i should think so too, especially as this girl doesnt even know you!

Topaz, sorry your little one is full of a cold, hope he feels better soon

BV, Sounds like you had a lovely evening! I bet is was appreciated so much more than before too when you could just go out when you felt like it. Its healthy to be able to get out on our own occasionally

Squeeker, think we can all relate to the feeling emotional, i know i can!

Caz, what a wonderful sleep you had! im jealous!

Linds also jealous for the 7 hour sleep!

Hann, hope you are healing up a bit now and are more comfortable.

Everyone else, hope you are all doing well.

Thinking of you Britt, such tragic news

Well AFM we had a lovely day yesterday, we did a barbeque for some friends and my parents and last night had a nice chilled one in front of the tv, it was all going well till 4am this morining when Harrison just wouldnt settle after his feed and ended up keeping Alan up for 2 hours, then me for the next too. It was the 1st time ive seen Alan a bit desperate as to what to do, i think maybe it was a touch of collic or something as not really any logical explanation for it.
Hes noe sound asleep in his bouncer looking like butter wouldnt melt!

Ok dumb question coming up....

Im a little bit paranoids that i should be doing more to stimulate Harrison. Ie with play, although obviously he is too young for most things. What shouls he be doing at this stage? obviously he sleeps a lot and when hes awake we talk to him and make silly noises and sing etc on top of the feeding, changes etc but i feel i should be doing more... I put him in his bouncer and swing which both have lights and music, he doesnt seem intererested in his playmat yet. I also have wrist rattles im thinking of trying too. i just feel i should be doing more thats all, is that stupid or does anyone have any ideas?

On another note, am truely disgusted by the events in Tottenham last night and the critizism against my colleagues yet again. im starting to lose faith in being a police officer, we dont seem to be able to do anything right and its so sad. People were made homeless and police officers seriously injured because of a mindless group of thugs...OK rant over!

 

[BlueViolet]

Mel, I read that at this stage they need lots of face to face time (they're programmed to study facial expressions). Eye contact during feeding is good. Talking and reading stories to them is also good. They're not interested in toys yet. They should also get some tummy time to develop muscles - just a few minutes before they get super frustrated. I put Jill on a mat on our bed and lay down next to her so she can see my face. She tries so hard to crawl by pushing with her back legs, but her head is too heavy and can't move further. She can lift her head for short time periods, but can't keep it up continuously. There is also a tracing game I read about with a rattle to see if their eyes can follow the movement from side to side. I had mixed results with this. I also looked up developmental charts (I also worried I wasn't doing enough for her development). Here are two I found:

https://www.babycenter.com/0_milestone-chart-1-to-6-months_1496585.bc

https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infant-development/AN01026

 

[Hann12]

Just a quick post - did a huge one at 4 am and instead of clicking post quick reply my hand hit the advert and I lost it all!

BV and mel - thanks for ideas to teach and stimulate baby. Really useful!

Sherri - sounds bad, def check your fb settings. Feel free to rant on here instead!

Mel - feel for you on the sleeplessness! I got 2 hours sleep - let Greg get 6.5 hours as he is back to work tomorrow. She was so unsettled all night for no particular reason. We have friends here today too which I am not up for but was too late to cancel. Hoping to get a nap later.

Caz - yay for the huge sleep - I can't remember what that feels like!! Glad you sorted the night feeds out too

Sorry this is a quick one, just posting while she is feeding and my arm is aching!

 

[Aaisrie]

Hann she's probably having her next growth spurt - the 2nd one is normally 2-3 weeks. Atticus was okay last night but the night before and all day yesterday he was really fussy.

Sherri that's awful that anyone would do that especially as she doesn't know you or your situation.

Haven't had a chance to catch up - still trying to catch up on the housework now I'm not sick anymore!!!

 

[Jenni4]

OMG!! I have been feeding Max almost constantly since 2:30, it's now 6:45 and i just got him settled...unbelievable.....every time i thought he was done i would put him down and he would scream!! Didn't help that we were at the US Embassy for half the day...had to bf in the bathroom with no place to sit. We were not the most popular people there with a screaming baby. thank god he is asleep now!! I wish i could just whip out a boob and feed anywhere...but seeing as I'm in the middle east during Ramadan...fat chance of that!! At least i can't get arrested for eating and drinking during the day since i'm bf'ing....but i try not to do it in public....

 

[fifi-folle]

Sorry one sided post here: I noticed quite a few of you are suffering from nipple thrush, I've just been diagnosed with it (only got him on the boob on Wednesday and by Friday was in agony, I've been on antibiotics and noticed I had vaginal thrush so though that was the cause). How long did it take for the treatment to kick in and stop bf'ing feeling like needles being stuck in the nipple?
By late afternoon I am in so much pain that BF'ing is almost impossible. Instead he's getting EBM as it hurts less.

 

[melissasbump]

Jenni, sounds like a bit of a nightmare day for you! I forgot about Ramadan, so if you werent BF would you still not be allowed to eat and drink out and about?

BV, thanks for the tips and links, very useful! I have puyt Harrison on his playmat on his front a few times, he just seems to squirm and struggle a bit then put his face in the mat then i feel sorry for him and pick him up! Bless him

Just had a friend over to visit Harrison and she bought us some beautiful outfits from mamas and papas! I was very suprised as we arent that close anymore and i havent seen her for the best part of a year but i did spoil her when she had her little boy who is 3 now so i guess thats why.

Harrison has been an angel today i have a feeling hes setting us up for a rough night though!

 

[Jenni4]

Mel... Yeah. Drinking and eating in public is illegal during daylight hours during Ramadan...even if you are not Muslim. the only people exempt are children, pregnant and bf'ing women and certain outside workers because of the heat. You probably won't go to jail, but can be fined if someone reports you or the police see you.

fifi... I noticed my thrush got better in about 12-24 hours with the white vinegar wash. If I get lazy and don't do it they start to hurt again, but it clears right up when I treat it properly.

 

[caz_hills]

Evening everyone..... just wondered if I'm not breastfeeding and therefore don't need an easy access bra for nursing, can I go back to wearing normal bras? I will need new ones as my breasts are bigger than before but can I wear normal ones now? Ta! Rndom question I know but who else can I ask?! You ladies always know the answers and don't seem to mind my dumb questions! xx

 

[BlueViolet]

Jenni, I can't believe the Ramadan restrictions. That's nuts! I know what you mean about constant feeding. Jill eats the whole time she is awake. I don't know where she puts it. I feel like I can't get much of anything done. I just started using the Baby Bjorn carrier about an hour ago. As soon as she unlatched I put her in and she passed out. She's been sleeping on me ever since. I've been going around the house picking stuff up. I can't really bend over while she's in there, but I can still do a considerable amount of stuff, like typing with both hands. YEY! Next, I might try the recumbent bike for exercise next. The downside is my chest is sweating like crazy, but small price to pay for mobility.

Fifi, hope the infection clears up soon!

Mel, glad to be of help. At this stage tummy time doesn't last for long before frustration hits, but I think it helps even for a couple of minutes.

Eve, glad you're no longer sick. Good luck with the housework. I'm definitely behind with cleaning our house. I can't remember the last time the bath tub was cleaned. Ops! Good thing we take showers. At my last MW appointment she said that I should ignore the housework and spend the time enjoying the baby because years from now you won't remember how clean or messy your house was, but you will remember all these precious moments with the baby. I'm definitely using her advice as an excuse to ignore most chores. The only thing I'm up to date with is laundry.

 

[BlueViolet]

Caz, I'm guessing your breasts are going to change in size still, so you might not want to invest in too many nice bras. That's just an educated guess though. I'm sure someone with more experience can give you better feedback.

 

[Aaisrie]

You can Caz just be careful that your milk has dried up or I *think* you can get blocked ducts from underwires [don't quote me on that because I can't quite remember!].

Fi when I had thrush with Saraya it didn't clear for 2 weeks but I needed the tablet to shift it. It was so painful so I really feel for any of you ladies with it

 

[caz_hills]

Thanks BV - that is a great point as I don't want to waste money buying new things now. I should probably wait until they settle down as the milk probably will dry up soon and then I guess they will return to their normal size (or normal for now onwards!). Thanks for your advice - I hadn't thought of that!

Hope you have had a good day? x