Breastfeeding Support - 6 months and beyond!

[Dragonfly]

Popele are not speaking to me also? why do they do that I am doing it for my son not to make some sort of statement to them like to spite them? My aunt slowly has broke away from me, dosnt come and see me and all I remember her repeating is formula was good enough for her kids and done them no harm, and the look or annoyance was what done it. I said nothing to her I know what its like for support here so I dont blame her or anyone. She dosnt come see my on any more and last few times i had to drag her here and she wasn't interested at all.
In my family you do as your mum did and everyone else, you dont really have a say but since i broke that no one is happy. they think they are older and wiser and I am young and dumb and since they cant help me out with advice like showing cereal in to bottles at 3 months old and choc deserts at 4 months old they are not happy.

I thought wanting and having a healthy child was applauded but it seems I am insulting them because what they did was right and I am not doing it because I dont agree. I wouldnt challenge them on their feeding so I dont know why I get it.

Anyone else that hasnt breastfeed which is everyone I know goes into a story then gives me a look like wondering why I am not taking their advice and as if i am saying something wrong with the way they fed???

Another girl used to text me a lot and call down, she didnt bf either and said she liked her life etc. thats ok I have time for it. But she would be asking me to go out drinking when I never went out before anyway and i dont drink and need to be here for son. I would have to turn her down all the time and she would be texting me I need to stop breastfeeding and get a life, got into a fight and she said I must be happy with my life then (yes i am thanks) she couldnt get her head around it then turned on me, said she tried to get me out and since i turned her down for looking after my son she took it personally. (she was a nut anyway I am glad to be rid very twisted girl).

I dont shove it in their faces yet I feel like I have been snubbed weirdly for something I didnt do the same as them. Its like a silent row simmering ready to go. I am sure it will kick off when I have this baby and they see again I will be breastfeeding in the hospital right in front of them and when and where he wants. Caused a lot of family to leave early when visiting, using excuses he needs fed we will go, yeah only takes me 2 seconds to plug him on stay....nope

 

[AnnaBanana9]

So glad we decided to make this group! So so so so so so nice to not feel 'odd' for still bfing!

AB9, was it you that mentioned being from Canada? Just wondering what attitudes to bfing over there are? OH has family over there (Toronto and Quebec) and we visited 3 years ago.....gorgeous country!

Yes, that's me, candyfloss! I'm from Montreal, and moved to the UK 11 years ago to marry my OH. My parents now live just outside Toronto.

In the Toronto area, BF is welcomed and encouraged, from what I've seen. In one of the shopping malls, there is a lovely parent and baby/child space.... it's full of comfy leather nursing chairs, has changing facilities, has place to prepare food (or for those who FF or bottle-feed EBM, a microwave). I got lots of approving smiles and nods when I BF Alyssa over there.

Here in Sunderland it's very pro-BF. I had lots of support from the midwives on the postnatal ward (and that first night with Alyssa in the delivery suite), and they encouraged me to stay in hospital if I wanted should I feel that BF wasn't comfortably established so that they were on hand 24/7 to support. There are also La Leche League trained lactation consultants who visit the ward, and will visit at home as often as needed to help with BF. My HV is also LLL trained and very proud of me - she introduces us as "doing what's lovely and NORMAL" Apparently, however, it's only there for first-time mothers. This I object to. What about mothers who didn't BF first time round? It seems they don't get the same support, as they've had a baby before, regardless of how they fed that baby. Grr. Just shows that as good as some setups are, there are BIG flaws.

My mom BF me for 6 weeks, but was unable to produce milk and so reluctantly had to start FF. She didn't produce milk with either my sister or brother, so they were FF right from the start. She feels sad that she didn't get that chance, but understands she had to do what was best for the babies. She is incredibly supportive of me though... what with her and my hubby, I have the best support network I could ask for, and I am very, very fortunate.

My heart goes out to all of you who struggle with such negativity and cruel comments, particularly with regards to weight gain. Alyssa was a VERY slow weight gainer and we had to deal with a moronic GP who simply told me to supplement with formula -- my HV gave him a right rollocking! I used to get very upset and think that I wasn't giving Alyssa enough, but deep down I always knew that my milk was JUST RIGHT for her, and she was thriving... she was simply gaining at the rate that was perfect for her. I applaud you for BFing - you are all inspirations!

 

[Elski]

God, some of the experiences on here make for really sad reading for you.

My family are really supportive of me, luckily. I was BF'd til I was 9 months old (which I think was probably unusual back then as I'm 34 now) so my folks don't really even bat an eyelid. OH's folks are too polite to say anything even though I think they probably think I should have moved on to formula now just from some of the comments they've made (not nasty ones, just literally ones out of ignorance as I'm not sure they even know that people BF after 6 months). My friends don't really say anything, those with kids are mostly pro-BFing but didn't do extended BFing themselves. I do think they attribute Esmé frequently waking in the night to me still BFing though, which may or may not be the case. I got more negativity for wanting to have a homebirth to be honest (but being a midwife, I could always argue the case better than they could )

I asked OH the other day when he thought it would be weird for me to still BF and he said "hmm, maybe after a year", but I know when it actually comes to that point, he'll see things differently and support me to continue, I think he's just saying a year as he can't envisage it as he's never been exposed to it before and as it's not culturally our norm.... hopefully people like us can change that though (here's hoping), although granted, I think it will take a long time. Look how other things have slowly changed - smoking in pregnancy for example - they used to encourage women to smoke during pregnancy to 'calm their nerves'.

 

[KrisKitten]

Hiya
Can i join you? Feel a bit out of place with you ladies who are so far on
xxx

 

[Dragonfly]

yeah more! I didnt know there where so many already!

 

[KrisKitten]

We're definatly gonna go to a year but after that i think ill just take things as they come
xxx

 

[Dragonfly]

Thats what I did I took it all as it went to time limits, I was going for 6 months at the start then just went on and on.

 

[Elski]

Hiya
Can i join you? Feel a bit out of place with you ladies who are so far on
xxx

:wave: Kris

You've been at it longer than me so no need to feel out of place

 

[AnnaBanana9]

Yay! More BFers

We were the same. Started out with no real plan other than a desire to make it to at least 6 months, now we're taking things as they come and have no intention of stopping anytime soon

xx

 

[candyfloss]

Do you think we could get a blinkie for this group?! Would raise awareness of the group and maybe more will come out of the woodwork...so to speak!

Was chatting to a friend at work yesterday about bfing, and mentioned that W often comes off me in the morning to smile, laugh and then start feeding again - I was meaning that it was really cute and funny, and she thought it shows he's finding it weird to still be feeding from me! Shows how everything can be interpreted differently I guess!

 

[Shiv]

Hi ladies!

Can i join you?
I have been breastfeeding Sophia for over 11 months now. We had a pretty tough time for the first 12 weeks (she actually ate my left nipple off!0 but since my nipple grew back (hurrah!) it has been pretty plain sailing. I am amazed at what i got through, and my hv was also amazed, sorry to big myself up!

Anyway Sophia now feeds morning, once in the afternoon, then before and after her bedtime bath.

My hubby wants me stop at a year, but now that I nearing that time, I know i won't stop unless Sophia suddenly doesn't want me anymore! i know that he will be supportive once we get there. I just can't find a reason to stop, Sophia obvisouly still wants to, it isn't doing her any harm (the opposite in fact) so why stop?!?!

Can i ask you all a very personal question about your boobs? mine have shrunk SO much since Sophia has dropped some feeds. Will they continue to shrink? They are pretty saggy too, but I don't attribute this to BFing - just to the fact that they grew so much when i got pregnant, they never stood a chance

Anyway, enough rambling from me. to all those who have battled through unsupportive famillies, and a general big to everyone!

 

[gills8752]

Shiv- ate your nipple off!!???

 

[florabean1981]

Shiv, mine have only shrunk a cup size, but are still bigger than pre-pregnancy, so they're still looking pretty good. I personally notice them sagging, but everyone else is always commenting on how great they look, lol. I am totally expecting them to look like spaniel's ears by the time we're finished feeding, lmao!

Kris, Nice to see another one at the same stage as me & harry in here too How's Tommy doing?

Candyfloss- I can't believe that's how your friend interpretted it!!!!!!!!! Crazy!


OOOh, I had a nurse's checkup thingy yesterday & we were chatting about feeding & she goes, 'wow, it's great you're still BFing, but hey, you might want to start weaning him onto bottles & then cow's milk, especially at night, otherwise you'll be making a rod for your own back & never get him off!' She said it like she really believed that BFing was this big effort & that I must hate it having to feed him to sleep (which I dont mind doing- he'll self settle when he's good & ready to imo) & that it's this all time consuming thing that must be draining me & that I'd want to stop real soon.... Made me feel quite sad. So I decided to show some balls & said, 'nah, we love BFing still; I'll let him decide when to stop & I'm hoping it wont be anytime soon. As for sleeping, he'll get there eventually; it's not like he hasn't got his whole life to learn to sleep 12 hours straight!' In my head Ib was thinking a lot worse & wanted to tell her to feck off & that she shouldn't give out such crappy advice, but oh well... maybe I need some more balls, hey?!

 

[Elski]

I really do think that in a lot of cases like this, that people do genuinely think they're giving helpful advice by suggesting something they think has never even occurred to you I just politely start banging on about research and quoting facts

A blinkie's a great idea

I was only an A-cup to start with and when my boobs are empty, they're an A/B, but a B when full. When they're empty though, they do feel a lot different from before, more like stretchy skin. Oh well, I shall just have to continue BFing to keep them plump

 

[candyfloss]

Shiv - my nipples were coming off during each feed too due to thrush at the beginning, not a pleasant experience, and you should big yourself up about carrying on and getting through it! I honestly don't know how I got through (OH says I'm stubborn! Moi?!) and not sure I could do it again.

I think my boobs are smaller than before, but they did get loads bigger at the start so maybe they only seem small because of that, not sure!

 

[Shiv]

Shiv- ate your nipple off!!???

Yep it sounds as gross as it was! basically even though she was latching fine, for some reason it just wasn't "right" for my left nipple, and with each feed it would bleed and scab etc then she would feed and there would be a little bit less nipple there each week until there wasn't much for her to latch on to, which made it even worse! but in the end my nipple grew some balls and toughened up. It was one of the happiest days of my life when it had finished growing back I am just really glad that my right nipple was always fine. Really weird that one was ok. my theory is that my left nipple must have been a different shape/size and therefore the same latch damaged it

I find it quite "funny" now when people say that I should get her onto bottles (why on earth at this age would I want to introduce a bottle - and even if I did she would never take one!). but earlier on in my breastfeeding experience i used to find it really insulting, as if my milk wasn't good enough, when MY milk is what is best for MY daughter!

 

[Dragonfly]

My nipples feels like its about to fall off! because the pregnancy makes them more sensitive william has been at me several times since 4am and I have little sleep and they are sore he really is a boob monster.

 

[Shiv]

My nipples feels like its about to fall off! because the pregnancy makes them more sensitive william has been at me several times since 4am and I have little sleep and they are sore he really is a boob monster.

oh no, poor you. Lansinoh, lansinoh, lansinoh!

 

[Dragonfly]

have it lashed on, helps but only a bit.

 

[Shiv]

have it lashed on, helps but only a bit.

paracetamol?