Breastfeeding Support - 6 months and beyond!

[Dragonfly]

you mean parashitamol lol I can manage I had worse. Goes away after a while.

 

[Shiv]

you mean parashitamol lol I can manage I had worse. Goes away after a while.

lol - good on ya

 

[Dragonfly]

he better look after mummy when I get old all the pain I go through for him lol he is going to be rich and important you know and keep mum and dad in their nice place pmsl

 

[AnnaBanana9]

I think a blinkie's a fantastic idea!

I can't believe that nonsense about "making a rod for your own back". Alyssa is 17 months old and still wakes once or twice a night for a cuddle and some milk - she will sleep through and self-settle when she's good and ready. You CANNOT spoil a baby/toddler by BF.

xx

 

[Dragonfly]

whats does that actually mean making a rod out of your back? I heard that said here but never heard it said to me but then I am a lonely soul with no mates or family who care to speak to me now .

 

[Elski]

It's basically like saying you're forming bad habits that'll be near-on impossible to break.

I was thinking about phrases that I don't like and I've decided I don't like 'nursing' when used to refer to BFing... it has negative connotation as it implies that you're doing something for a sick person, don't you think?

(p.s. hope your nips are feeling a bit better now, Dragonfly)

 

[Dragonfly]

I heard poeple say to me forming bad habbits before,. said i will never get my son out of our bed and we are setting ourselves up for a hard life. Seems pretty easy so far to us. we dont mind him in the bed, dont know why everyone else does?? and as they have even less of a say with. I woudlnt ever ask anyone how they feed or where their child sleeps its none of my business so why the need for everyone to know mine?

 

[florabean1981]

excatly- it's no one's business but your own

 

[Tacey]

I was thinking about phrases that I don't like and I've decided I don't like 'nursing' when used to refer to BFing... it has negative connotation as it implies that you're doing something for a sick person, don't you think?

Forgive me being a bit nerdy here, but I'm a fan of etymology! The word 'nurse' only came to mean looking after an ill person about 300 years ago. Before that, it was only used in terms of wet nursing, or nourishing a baby. In fact, the word comes from the Latin for nourish. I like it as it seems to give more of a caring, nurturing feel than 'breastfeeding' which seems a bit sterile and medical sounding. Each to their own I guess!

On another point, I am so sad to hear that so many of you have had to face such negative attitudes. I think it is incredible that you've had the strength to keep on going despite it. I'm in awe of you!

 

[Dragonfly]

if you knew my mum you would wonder why I havnt actually moved planet from her. Although she dosnt say anything about breastfeeding she learned long ago theres plenty of other things for her to make life difficult with.

 

[cleckner04]

:wave: to the newcomers. I keep meaning to check in here more. Shiv- Good to see you in here hun.

I think a blinkie is an excellent idea! Maybe someone can ask xxxjacxxx to make us one? I saw she made one for the fluffy bum club and it's fab! Maybe we could get something similar for us!!


I've personally never had much of a support group when it comes to my BFing. When Emma was having marathon feedings in the early days, family said I should just give her formula. It was a constant argument. All the questions of 'how do you know she's getting enough', and 'are you feeding AGAIN?!' My attachment parenting in general tends to make people flip out and judge me. I got a nasty email recently from a girl in my playgroup that said my daughter will have trouble in school because she's so attached to me, and that it's only natural to leave a baby to cry. (I refuse to do CIO, and this woman did it when her child was a newborn) She also went on to say how uneducated I am(I never went to college but she went for 2 years and dropped out when she found out she was pregnant) and that my children will be made fun of in school because of how I raise them. She also said Emma is horrible and it's all because I don't discipline her. Emma is VERY energetic and gets into stuff but I just say No and move her from whatever she is getting into. Apparently I should be beating her. So I blocked and deleted all the women from my playgroup and now am back to square 1 with no friends. I just moved to this state in late April so haven't made friends yet. Well, I thought I had made friends, but apparently not.

Okay. Rant over from me.

 

[Elski]

"The word 'nurse' only came to mean looking after an ill person about 300 years ago. Before that, it was only used in terms of wet nursing, or nourishing a baby. In fact, the word comes from the Latin for nourish. I like it as it seems to give more of a caring, nurturing feel than 'breastfeeding' which seems a bit sterile and medical sounding. Each to their own I guess!"


That's really interesting, I wonder how 'nursing' came to be a more medical term...

Cleckner - you should be beating her, is that really what they think?!! How come these people are all so horrible to you??

 

[cleckner04]

The beating part was more of a sarcastic statement. But, I just met these women a few weeks ago. It all started off shaky when they all pulled out bottles to feed their babies while I just grabbed my cover and popped my boob out. Than they all went on to tell me why they didn't breastfeed and how horrible it was and how they did it for a day and quit. One girl didn't even try because she said they are her boobs. Which is fine, that's their right and I'm not about to judge. But I kept getting the feeling that it was me that was getting judged instead.

Well we had several playdates in those weeks and each time something else would come up and I'd get a round of disapproving looks. I cloth diaper. They said, geez I could never do all that laundry. I cosleep. They said, I need my time at night. I babywear. And we all went to a museum one day and while they were pushing their babies around, I had Emma in her babyhawk and was proudly wearing her. They kept making comments about Emma getting too hot and that she's not looking out but instead facing me. Fair enough. But what really opened the floodgates was an argument about circumcision. Now, I'm in the US and it's completely common here but I'm starting to reconsider what I would do if I ever have a boy. Over here, it's pretty much just what people do. They do it right there in the hospital and no one thinks differently. But, I've been reading and am really confused about what I will do so I voiced my opinion and the one mother with a boy flipped out at me. She said it's disgusting to be uncircumcised and that my future sons will be made fun of and that I'm not thinking about his future. And she kept going on and on about how it's dirty to be uncircumcised. I asked her where she got this information and I told her she needs to do some research. But that night I sent her an email to apologize if I offended her and that I didn't want to leave things on bad terms. Which resulted in the nasty email. I will actually search for that email and post it so you girls can see what I mean. I never said one bad word towards these women but they seemed to have it out for me from day one. They all had a sleepover one night and drank while the babies slept. I opted out and said no thanks. That is SOOO not me. I don't do that kind of thing. I'm an adult and my daughter and I will sleep in our cosy bed at home. Not stay up all night on some drinking binge with the babies in the next room.

My husband is in the navy and he is gone right now and all these girls are wives that have husbands on the same ship. So we had that in common. Which is what brought us all together in the first place. Well, that and the fact that we all have babies around the same age.

I'm starting to think I'm the weird one and I'll never find someone with common ideas about parenting.

..I'm going to go find that email.

 

[cleckner04]

Okay. This was in response to my apology for if I offended her. I will say right off the bat, I never once called this woman stupid or anything even along those lines. I'm not a nasty person like that, especially not towards someone I've only known a few weeks.

Her-I wasn't offended until you basically called me stupid. That's rude. I have far more education than you. You say you don't like when ppl tell you how to raise your child? Well I'm gonna tell you that the way you are with Emma is going to make her a very spoiled little girl and very bratty as she gets older. You have to let your child be alone and cry that's what's natural. That's why she gets into everything everywhere and you don't discipline her. You judge us on how we raise our children, you act so superior and you are always very confrontational. I'm not going to be fakey nice I'm the kind of person who tells it how it is and there it is. I feel like you don't think about your childrens future. Emma is going to be such a mommys girl she's going to have seperation anxiety and its going to be hard for her in school and stuff, if you have a son and don't circumsize him he will be outcast. That's just how high school is, people are cruel. But do your whole natural thing and whatever you want to do. They're not my kids.

And this was my response:
Me-I'm not even going to justify this with a good response. My child gets into everything because she's just that. A kid. She's curious about everything. Your kid gets into stuff too, just not as fast. I don't discipline her? I tell her no and back her away from the situation. What do you want me to do, beat her? You think I called you stupid but I never said a single thing about you being stupid. But I see you took the mature route and called me uneducated. Well, I'm educated enough to get rid of horrible people when I come across them. So I'm sorry you don't agree with me, but I'd rather sit with my 'spoiled, horrible' child than waste any more time on this.


And although it is only the one woman that sent this email, the other 2 seem to agree with her. I emailed them and asked what their opinions were and they just gave a neutral response. The very next day I saw them post pictures on Facebook of a playdate they were having that very moment and obviously I wasn't included. It was at the mean girl's house. So I deleted and blocked them all.

 

[kerrie24]

Thats shocking and so uncalled for! Why cant people just agree to disagree and realise we all raise our children differently?
They dont come with a set of instructions unfortunately and what you're doing is obviously working for you.
Its a shame that you have just moved there and none of them see eye to eye with you,most of my friends parent differently to me but I would never pull them up on something just because I dont do it!I think you were right to cut ties with this woman,she sounds like a complete bitch to be quite honest

 

[kerrie24]

I was thinking about phrases that I don't like and I've decided I don't like 'nursing' when used to refer to BFing... it has negative connotation as it implies that you're doing something for a sick person, don't you think?

I personally dont like it when someone asks 'oh,are you feeding him yourself?'.HOW ELSE should I feed him?! would you like me to knock on my neighbours door and get him to do it?!!
Even if he was formula fed,the only person who would give him it would be me (or his daddy) because hes my baby and I dont want to pass him around like some kind of doll!
Ok rant over

 

[cleckner04]

The funny thing is, I have no clue what I did to deserve such hate spewed towards me. Emma is a handful and gets into things and I apologized to all of them several times because Emma would grab DVDs, picture frames, etc. and she'd throw them. But every time I said no firmly and moved her away from everything and sat her down. This is the only thing that I can think of that would make someone think such things. Emma isn't a bad kid, she's just curious and explores everything. She's fine at my house but that's because I've adapted my house so she can't get anything she isn't supposed to have. Emma was the oldest in this playgroup so that could be part of it. They are in for a world of surprise once their babies get more mobile.

I completely agree that we all do things differently! I actually called up a friend from back home and told her about it and she was SO angry about it. She said no matter how many disagreements people have, there is no reason to treat someone badly. And this friend and I are SO different. But we get along great and when we have arguments, it doesn't end the friendship right than and there. Obviously no one is going to have the same opinion on every single issue.

 

[kerrie24]

Yeah your friend is totally right,sometimes what works for one parent doesnt fit right with another,if we all did things the same we would have nothing to talk about!
As for the throwing dvds stuff etc,the only time something like this would get to me is if the child is left to do it without being told no,but as you said,you didnt just leave Emma to wreck the place so whats their problem?!
Let them get back to their perfect parenting with their pristine homes and marvelous children and find some real friends who deserve your time.

 

[cleckner04]

I've been trying. I did meet one girl who is here on BnB actually! She was really awesome. She is actually moving closer to me in a week or so. So that will be nice! And I've met one other girl who has a 2 year old. She is really nice as well. But the other girls seemed nice too until I hung out with them for a few weeks. That's when the real claws came out.

It's so hard to find friends in a new place. I hate being a military wife sometimes because once I finally settle in and find friends, than I have to move again. We are only here until 2012 and than who knows where we'll be, and I'll be starting from scratch.

 

[Elski]

Bloody hell, Clecker, they sound like an absolute nightmare! You're definitely best off out of that coven of witches! Are your parenting choices really that unusual where you are?

I know what you mean, Kerry, my BIL's mum said to her husband the other day while I was round there "Elski's feeding Esmé herself, you know" as if it was some kind of alien phenomenon. I think she was embarrassed to say the word breast or something