Cast sob, Filming Eastenders

[midori1999]

The fact is, some women who lose babies or children do take other people's children. They may be in the small minority, but it does happen.

My son has Downs. When they did the Downs storyline and Honey was so upset she didn't want Janet, couldn't come to terms with it, that was completely unrealistic as far as I was concerned. I know loads of people with children with Downs, and none of them felt like that. I most certainly didn't feel like that. But, the fact is, a small minority of women who's babies are born with Downs, do feel like that and obviously they have to use what scenario they think makes the best storyline.

It's just a TV programme. If you find it upsetting, don't watch it, you don't have to. It's not going to change anything in real life, except maybe make some people more aware of cot death and the potential causes of it. That can only be a good thing.

It doesn't matter what their motives are for the storyline, whether they are trying to get viewers or whether they are trying to raise awareness. Whatever their intentions, it will raise awareness and that is good.

 

[hayley x]

The fact is, some women who lose babies or children do take other people's children. They may be in the small minority, but it does happen.

My son has Downs. When they did the Downs storyline and Honey was so upset she didn't want Janet, couldn't come to terms with it, that was completely unrealistic as far as I was concerned. I know loads of people with children with Downs, and none of them felt like that. I most certainly didn't feel like that. But, the fact is, a small minority of women who's babies are born with Downs, do feel like that and obviously they have to use what scenario they think makes the best storyline.

It's just a TV programme. If you find it upsetting, don't watch it, you don't have to. It's not going to change anything in real life, except maybe make some people more aware of cot death and the potential causes of it. That can only be a good thing.

It doesn't matter what their motives are for the storyline, whether they are trying to get viewers or whether they are trying to raise awareness. Whatever their intentions, it will raise awareness and that is good.

I have to disagree with this. People already think we're 'mad' and cross the road, this will only portray this even more x

 

[Lauraxamy]

Gosh what a horrible storyline, may give these episodes a miss...

 

[midori1999]

The fact is, some women who lose babies or children do take other people's children. They may be in the small minority, but it does happen.

My son has Downs. When they did the Downs storyline and Honey was so upset she didn't want Janet, couldn't come to terms with it, that was completely unrealistic as far as I was concerned. I know loads of people with children with Downs, and none of them felt like that. I most certainly didn't feel like that. But, the fact is, a small minority of women who's babies are born with Downs, do feel like that and obviously they have to use what scenario they think makes the best storyline.

It's just a TV programme. If you find it upsetting, don't watch it, you don't have to. It's not going to change anything in real life, except maybe make some people more aware of cot death and the potential causes of it. That can only be a good thing.

It doesn't matter what their motives are for the storyline, whether they are trying to get viewers or whether they are trying to raise awareness. Whatever their intentions, it will raise awareness and that is good.

I have to disagree with this. People already think we're 'mad' and cross the road, this will only portray this even more x

Is your biggest problem really what people think of you?

If someone thinks differently of you because of a story in a soap, that says far more about them than it does about you, so why care what they think?

 

[Jody R]

The fact is, some women who lose babies or children do take other people's children. They may be in the small minority, but it does happen.

My son has Downs. When they did the Downs storyline and Honey was so upset she didn't want Janet, couldn't come to terms with it, that was completely unrealistic as far as I was concerned. I know loads of people with children with Downs, and none of them felt like that. I most certainly didn't feel like that. But, the fact is, a small minority of women who's babies are born with Downs, do feel like that and obviously they have to use what scenario they think makes the best storyline.

It's just a TV programme. If you find it upsetting, don't watch it, you don't have to. It's not going to change anything in real life, except maybe make some people more aware of cot death and the potential causes of it. That can only be a good thing.

It doesn't matter what their motives are for the storyline, whether they are trying to get viewers or whether they are trying to raise awareness. Whatever their intentions, it will raise awareness and that is good.

When I lost my second child my ex-boyfriends new partner gave birth to their baby at the same time. I met her with the baby in a shop a few weeks later and not only did she know we had lost our daughter and ask me a lot of personal questions I felt unable to cope with she also abandoned me with her son while she ran back for something she had forgotten. When she came back she said she "oh sorry, I didn't think..." and I thought she had realised I might be upset to be left with a newborn after losing another baby but she continued with "you didn't want to steal him did you?"

There's a big difference between a storyline over a disabled child and a child who dies.

Particularly when that storyline takes place at Christmas, will be shown over Christmas and which is plastered all over the press for weeks before Christmas.

Christmas is an agonising time when your child is dead, even if you are lucky enough to have other children. When you think about it, everything about Christmas is geared towards children and babies. There are carols and songs about the birth of a baby, cards with pictures of that baby, the entire point of the holiday is the birth of a baby and if it's not that you get the idiots who can't leave you alone if you stop smiling for one second telling you to "cheer up, it's Christmas", which did happen to us, repeatedly, in 2007 even though most of the people knew we had lost our daughter on the 16th December and that I had almost died along with her.

It's not a case of just not watching it, it's one of the biggest shows on TV and they are using the death of a baby as Christmas entertainment to boost ratings and people will be talking about it, people will think this is how people who lose a baby react. That woman will think she was right to ask if I had thought about stealing her son. And just when we think the storyline is over the show will be up for some award and it will be shown again or one of the other soaps will think they will do their version of it and have to go bigger and better than the last one and the whole nightmare starts again.

I'm sorry, I'm not actually ranting at you, I'm angry at the programme and the actors, writers and producers who don't seem to 'get' how people really feel when they lose a child. It's downright disrespectful and they can bleat about raising awareness all they want, it really isn't what they are doing this story for. They want ratings and paychecks and that's all they care about.

The BBC are particularly insensitive in the way they deal with baby loss, there are other programmes which I have complained about and in one case I received a reply that said that I might not find babies dying funny but some people do and they like to cater to all tastes!

 

[hayley x]

The fact is, some women who lose babies or children do take other people's children. They may be in the small minority, but it does happen.

My son has Downs. When they did the Downs storyline and Honey was so upset she didn't want Janet, couldn't come to terms with it, that was completely unrealistic as far as I was concerned. I know loads of people with children with Downs, and none of them felt like that. I most certainly didn't feel like that. But, the fact is, a small minority of women who's babies are born with Downs, do feel like that and obviously they have to use what scenario they think makes the best storyline.

It's just a TV programme. If you find it upsetting, don't watch it, you don't have to. It's not going to change anything in real life, except maybe make some people more aware of cot death and the potential causes of it. That can only be a good thing.

It doesn't matter what their motives are for the storyline, whether they are trying to get viewers or whether they are trying to raise awareness. Whatever their intentions, it will raise awareness and that is good.

I have to disagree with this. People already think we're 'mad' and cross the road, this will only portray this even more x

Is your biggest problem really what people think of you?

If someone thinks differently of you because of a story in a soap, that says far more about them than it does about you, so why care what they think?

you come accross really insensitive to me of course thats not my biggest problem.. Only an angel mum could understand!

 

[midori1999]

Aren't you doing what you're worried others are going to do? Assuming everyone in a certain group (those who have lost children) will all feel the same way?

I lost twin girls in April this year, this will be our first Christmas without them, they should be with us. Nothing can make the loss of them any worse, not Christmas and certainly not something on TV. I'm not in the slightest bit interested in what anyone thinks of me and I'm certainly not worried anyone will think I'm about to steal a baby.

Sorry if you think I'm being insensitive, that's not my intention, but I have a right to my opinion just like everyone else, even if they haven't lost a child.

 

[hayley x]

I am so sorry for the loss of your twins I wish I could be as open minded as you, its just so hard. I feel like we are constantly given a hard time and I just want more people to try and understand, and this storyline just isnt doing us any favours. of course, like I have said several time and like I put in the message to BBC I am greatful they are raising awareness I just feel, along with so many others, they are taking it a step too far, thats all.

Sorry if I have upset you too that wasnt my intention, you know how hard it is, especially on a bad day x

 

[midori1999]

You haven't upset me, I apologise if I have upset you.

I am lucky in that I am quite analytical and can seperate things. You're right, people don't understand the loss of a baby, my friend lost her 10 year old to cancer and people even think she should 'be over it' by now, it's shocking. I just tell myself people like that are ***** (not printabale here! ) and that what they think makes no difference to my life. They don't take away from what our children mean to us.

 

[babyerin]

They don't take away from what our children mean to us.

Nobody can ever take that away

 

[Jody R]

Aren't you doing what you're worried others are going to do? Assuming everyone in a certain group (those who have lost children) will all feel the same way?

I lost twin girls in April this year, this will be our first Christmas without them, they should be with us. Nothing can make the loss of them any worse, not Christmas and certainly not something on TV. I'm not in the slightest bit interested in what anyone thinks of me and I'm certainly not worried anyone will think I'm about to steal a baby.

Sorry if you think I'm being insensitive, that's not my intention, but I have a right to my opinion just like everyone else, even if they haven't lost a child.

I am sorry for your loss Midori, but I stand by what I said and how I feel.

Christmas is a very difficult time following a loss for many people. I didn't say it made the loss worse because nothing will ever be worse than losing any of my children, but for a lot of people it can be harder to cope at that time of year and they really don't want to go through that while watching a big soap opera use the most painful thing they have ever experienced as entertainment and then decides to make it even more dramatic by throwing in baby swapping as a ratings ploy.

Maybe some of us have been guilty of assuming every parent who has lost a child will feel the same way about this ridiculous part of the story line. But aren't you doing the same thing you have accused us of doing? Assuming everyone will find it as easy as you to ignore the programme or as easy as you do to just not watch it?

You do have a right to your opinion and everyone else here has the right to thiers. If that means that they want to email the BBC to complain then that's fine for them. If you feel all you have to do is turn off the TV and ignore it then that's fine for you. But it doesn't mean either response is wrong or that we just hadn't thought about not watching these episodes before.

But it's one thing not to care what people think or not worry about the way they treat you but another to be faced by people who really do think your loss has made you crazy, who go out of their way to avoid you and who actually accuse you of wanting to steal their child.

I'm sure most people would want programmes like this to raise awareness of cot death but not when they have to take this to silly extremes of kidnapping and baby swapping or when the cast are so disrespectful during filming. If that has happened then it is rare and it detracts from the more important message they could be putting across.

 

[katrina1987]

My heart is out there for any angel mums. But I am sorry Eastenders is worng, the BBC is wrong. And I think it's a joke there not taking any emails seariously or anything. They haven't even bothered replying to me this time, I am guessing they can't send me the same email again!

 

[mommy43]

just picking up on a point mentioned ok so it 'may' happen somewhere at some point grieving mother may feel like & actually steal another womans baby but would she really leave her own in its place???????????? n go to a funeral being only able to show grief as if it was a another persons n not her own baby??????? i just think its too far fetched surley love for her baby emotions n grief would not let either of these play out wether it was what she wanted or not???????????
i think a realistic story line would of been so much better raise real awareness yes but tell it how it is

 

[Kte]

I don't like the switch twist and I'm not keen on the way Eastenders has been done reacently since the change over. I don't think they will do it (address such a sensitive issues) as well as could be done.

i think a realistic story line would of been so much better raise real awareness yes but tell it how it is

I agree

 

[Jody R]

just picking up on a point mentioned ok so it 'may' happen somewhere at some point grieving mother may feel like & actually steal another womans baby but would she really leave her own in its place???????????? n go to a funeral being only able to show grief as if it was a another persons n not her own baby??????? i just think its too far fetched surley love for her baby emotions n grief would not let either of these play out wether it was what she wanted or not???????????
i think a realistic story line would of been so much better raise real awareness yes but tell it how it is

You've said really well the way I feel about this.

If the story line is to raise awareness and help people use preventative measures to try and protect their child from cot death then they need to keep it realistic enough for people to think "this could happen to us!"

And I doubt that anyone seriously ever believes it will happen to them or thier baby unless they have already lost a child. I certainly never thought I would lose my baby when I was first pregnant but after losing Ally I spent my other two pregnancies worried sick. I did lose my second child and even though Joseph is almost 20 months old and fit and well I know I will never, ever feel secure about his health or his life. Every time I put him to bed I am scared he might die while he sleeps.

And this ridiculous kidnap plot is so rare or so unlikely that it will take away the credibility of the storyline and the message that baby loss can happen to anyone. Nobody will ever think this storyline could happen to them because nobody would ever believe they might turn into a kidnapper and abandon thier own child. It's this in particular, coupled with the disrespect of the cast, that has provoked me to complain.

 

[katrina1987]

Well only a few days off the hard hitting Eastenders story and I am not looking forward to it. it's going to really choke me up. the lady who does inside soaps on This Morning recommended any new mum's or angels mum's not to watch and they didn't even do the usual preview of what happens so says a lot. What does everyone think especially with the show only being days away?

 

[Dragonfly]

I thought it was an xmas one and was thrilled when it didnt happen now I am dreading it as i hear its still coming, i dont like it it will upset me.

 

[Scamp]

Think it's happening over new year
xx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I think it is important that SIDS and angel babies are made not such a taboo subject. They are human beings that excisted who shouldn't be hidden away I think soaps can be a good way to raise awareness. IF done properly with sensitivity and proper research.

HOWEVER I think the story line is gong to far. Fine di a storyline about SIDS but to then make ronnie steal the other baby is going to far. I am sure it is very rare a angel mummy does this. Why not show the grieving process etc. Not make it into a will kat find out storyline
Xx

 

[lou_w34]

I dont no if it has already been said, as i havent read the rest of the thread, But aside from this being a poor storyline (Im all for raising awareness of SIDs, but not in this way... Its just a way for eastenders to win the ratings war), i dont no how they think it is going to work, any mother would know her baby has been swapped surley? especially after having them home with them for a few days, not too mention, wont the baby be wearing different clothes?? How long is this story going to be going on for? Just a few days? I really hope they do not drag it out for ages.