December 2013 Rainbow Babies

[Olivette]

Elleff - Glad to hear your rapidly expanding (I say that as I think i'll be excited when I start to rapidly expand). I've started to notice that I'm bloaty looking from the moment I wake (where as before it got bigger during the day and into the evening). I know a friend who had really popped with her first baby at 14 weeks, so I'm excited that I could start to get a little bigger in a few weeks time!

AFM - I have thrush . Ouchy. That and constipation on and off not been a great week, hehe!

Ox

 

[Krissy485]

ellef- glad to hear u are doing so well!!! afm I am in pain having regular contractions told me to go to er to get pain under control...really how are they gonna do that when its contrations? its like they didn't even really listen to me. I might go in later but as of right now I am too tired to do a damn thing....I was up all night...grrr....

 

[elleff]

That's not good! Why are you having contractions? Is it like your body still thinks it has a job to do? I'm so sorry honestly as if losing a baby isn't bad enough without the physical stuff that goes with it.
I remember officially losing my baby on sat 29th dec after days of bleeding, and being told the bleeding should slow down now. Then a couple of days later it got worse than ever, it was pouring. I just remember wondering how my body could be so cruel.
You will feel better soon though, just take it easy and let your head and heart heal xxx

 

[Krissy485]

Thanks elleff.....pain is getting a little better as long as I don't move too much lol. I guess they said my uterus is just going back to normal size but I was exactly this far along last time and I know for a fact I was pretty much fine by now. I know the pain will pass and I will be ok just frustrated right now.

 

[dairymomma]

I'm due Dec. 30 according to my lmp and the ultrasound I had two weeks ago. First time EVER they haven't moved my due date back a week because my babies have always measured a week small. I have two beautiful little kids in between a total of six m/c and I'm currently 9wk5d into this pregnancy with some spotting but not giving up hope yet.

So sorry to hear your sad news Krissy! It's never easy to go through a miscarriage. Hope you feel better soon! Sending you hugs!

 

[katerdid]

how are you doing krissy? all the physical pains just make everything worse xxx

My morning sickness is really kicking up, threw up for the first time yesterday and felt awful all day. but i'm happy about it, i'd rather have symptoms increase - its a good sign right?
got my doppler but havent been able to find anything but my heartbeat. surprisingly i'm not freaking out, it's still pretty early and i'm sure my retrotillted uterus isn't helping.

 

[elleff]

Krissy how are you feeling? Its tough that the pain has gone on longer than last time but I guess every pregnancy/loss is different. Hope you're getting better

Olivette how is your thrush? Ouch

Dairymomma congratulations!!! So sorry about all of your losses, I can't imagine how hard it must be to go through it so many times.

Katerdid sorry you're so sick. I was awful until 12+3 and it has completely stopped now! I havent been sick for 7 days and I feel amazing! I actually keep forgetting I'm pregnant!

 

[SugarBeth]

My sickness is getting much worse. Every single time I'm in a car, I need my husband to pull over so I can throw up. EVERY TIME! It's rough. I keep trying to remember how badly I wanted this sickness before, but yikes - my entire face is completely covered in purple freckles from broken blood vessels - I mean from my forehead to under my chin covered! I went to the eye doctor today and she was also pregnant. The first thing she said was "ah, I see you're having a rough time with the morning sickness, huh?" I hadn't even told her I was pregnant yet, so it's quite telling!

Three days until second tri...I do hope that means the symptoms will get a bit better!

 

[dairymomma]

It's always kind of a surprise to think I've had six total miscarriages because they haven't been consecutive. I had three before I had my son, had a chemical pregnancy before having my daughter, and I've had a m/c and a chemical pregnancy since her birth. It was unnerving to go in for my ultrasound and have to tell the technician that this is my ninth pregnancy and I've only had two live births...in five years...but I'm okay with it most of the time. Thankfully none of them were very traumatic and I've been able to avoid needing a d & c. Just hoping this little bean will 'stick' around for another six and a half months...

 

[katerdid]

sugarbeth, oh no, that sounds awful! hopefully it won't last too much longer.

I just have a terrible feeling about my baby. Anyone else get that? I hope I'm just being paranoid, tho today was a bad day for it - been having yucky cramps. Would it be weird to ring my obgyn's and ask for a reassurance scan this week? Do you think they would do it or should I lie and say I fell or something (awful I know).

Also, anyone else have a doppler and still can't find the heartbeat? I tried again tonight for a good 20 mins and nothing.

Can you tell I'm just feeling crappy tonight? Sorry to unload

 

[SugarBeth]

I'm not sure if it's because this is the week we lost our last baby, or if it's because of the due date approaching, but I really started to struggle with the loss of my last baby again. I keep crying like crazy every time I think of the due date. I'm sure hormones are now playing a part, as I feel so guilty to be so upset over her passing as this healthy baby that we're so excited for wouldn't be here at all if we had her, and I don't want to lessen the miracle of this pregnancy. At the same time, I feel guilty about my angel too, and not wanting to feel like we replaced her and are okay now. Either way, I'm having a rough time again, the pain feels really raw. We decided to celebrate her short life and her big impact on us on her due date, and I thought it would help make me feel a little better, but it doesn't. I'm not sure how to get through it now, it gets harder each day.

With my doctor, if you explain that you're really in need of reassurance because of past losses, they'll usually help you out. I'd ask. If they won't give it to you, you could always try somewhere else and explain your cramps and fear from your loss.

It took my midwife a while to find the heartbeat last week for the baby. Since she's a pro and it took her a while, I'd be afraid to try and find it myself, I don't think I'd be able to! I know a lot of doctors' won't even try to find it until 14 weeks, so I'd say it's totally normal to not find it on your own yet.

 

[Krissy485]

just a quick pop in......I am doing ok.....I am physically getting better and emotionally I am doing so much better than I ever thought I would be at this point. I just keep focusing on the good things we have and know that once I have a normal cycle we are trying again. I have this all of a sudden like determination to have a healthy baby. I know it might sound crazy but my first day back to work I actually had some one say to me well maybe this is gods way of telling you you don't need anymore kids.....seriously who says that to someone who just lost their baby? well ever since then I have this weird feeling of I know I will get pregnant again and I wil have a healthy baby.....I have this bad need of proving people wrong lol...

 

[katerdid]

Aw, Sugarbeth I know exactly how you feel xxx We just have to focus on having a health baby at the end of this all. Even tho it sucks that we have to have a rainbow baby - much rather have not gone through all that hurt in the first place. Friggin' sucks.

Hugs Krissy That is a terrible thing to say. People really do not think.

I got a scan today, called and told a little white lie that I was spotting. They wouldn't of scanned me unless it was deemed a "medical necessity". Was lucky that someone canceled at the last min and I live 5 mins away from the office, so they were able to squeeze me in.
I have a bleed working it's way down that's just leftovers from implantation, so that might appear soon. And the cyst on my ovary has gotten bigger, so that's probably why I've been having more cramping.
BUT, baby is perfect! Squirmy and gorgeous. Heartbeat was 173 and it's still pretty deep down - guessing why I can't find it on the doppler (the sonographer was having to point the wand at an extreme angle like a inch below my hair line!!).

https://i41.tinypic.com/2uzv761.jpg

 

[elleff]

Beth - So sorry your sickness is getting worse. I feel like mine got worse before it got better so maybe this is the final push for you! Finger crossed!
I know what you mean about the grief over your lost baby. My due date was 14th August and it is rapidly approaching and it really upsets me. My baby is buried in a big planter in my garden, the plant we put in the pot is really growing at the moment and I can't stop looking at it thinking that is how much my baby would be growing by now. I bought a little windmill for it on Sunday and it brightened the pot up which made me feel a bit better. Its so hard. I love my rainbow baby so much but I don't know what we're supposed to do with the guilt over loving this baby and being excited about it so soon after losing a baby.

Katerdid - I totally get it, I was convinced my baby was no longer growing. I heard the hb on the doppler at 9 weeks, 3 times in 1 day and then couldn't find it again and I'd literally try for an hour and nothing. My 12 week scan was supposed to be 31st May. I couldn't wait that long, and I figured the stress was probably not very good for the baby either! So I told a little white lie to get a scan earlier and I was so glad I did to see that little baby flipping around all happy and healthy. The second she said 'and theres the heart beat' I just started crying. And now that I'm showing and even strangers at work are asking when I'm due, I figure if my belly is growing, my baby must be too! I haven't used the doppler. I'm not going to until another few weeks time. I can't risk that anxiety again. So glad your scan went well


Krissy - so glad you are feeling better! have you got your kitten yet?

AFM - I am massive! well I feel it. It makes me happy though 14 weeks today I can't believe it.
I have been feeling so good lately and really thought my sickness had gone, then yesterday I was so sick! I couldn't believe it. I felt awful but I think it was just my little flipster telling me he-she is ok and growing in there

 

[Kirs_t]

Hi girls!
How is everyone going?
Katerdid- what a gorgeous scan pic so glad it went well! Good to know about the bleeds too- so that you know what it is, if they come out!

Elleff- we have such similar dates- my dd would have been 10th August with our loss. It is such a hard time. Big hugs to Beth too- hope you're ok. My sil is due one week after ours was meant to be due in August and it had been so hard comparing her bump and imagining how my lo would be growing. But on the other hand I now feel so connected to this lo and I'm so appreciative to be pregnant now... This was the baby I was meant to hold in my arms. Our scan last week went really well! Ill attach A pic. Also I have decided to have a gender reveal morning tea for the family and ordered a cake that will be filled with either pink or blue smarties for the day very exciting!

 

[Kirs_t]

Elleff- I forgot to say... I am huge too!! I can't believe how my belly has popped. My coworker looked at me this morning and said 'well that's definitely no secret anymore'

 

[elleff]

Ah how far along were you when you lost her? The scan is amazing!! How is it so detailed?! Ours are nothing like that here unless you go private. Do you know the gender already?
I love having a bump I can't stop feeling it

 

[Kirs_t]

No I don't know the gender yet- not till the 19week scan... But my friend makes amazing cakes, so I've just tentatively ordered one with her I just have to get the us tech to text her girl or boy on the day and she will whip it up for us! We will have a morning tea/Reveal a few days after the scan, when the cake is made! I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself... It's scary to be excited and invested in this bub- but I think I have connected, despite trying to hold back in fear it will go wrong...

We lost our last one at 8.5 elleff. As for the scan- it's a 3d pic and they have taken a 3d pic at every scan I've had so far! I have private insurance here in aus... But that really just means I get to choose my ob and go to a private hospital... The ultrasound place is the same for both public and private- both have to pay for the scan, but we get some of the money back from Medicare (government).

I'm looking forward to feeling some movement in the coming weeks-
I heard that by 16 weeks you can feel it but sometimes even earlier?!

How's everyone doing?

 

[SugarBeth]

I'm feeling much better emotionally now. I'm happy to finally be in second trimester, and it feels like a fresh start. I know longer fear so many days where this and that happened on this gestational date with my miscarriage, so I feel less stressed as well. I'm still fearing the due date a bit, but I guess that's to be expected.

Kirs_t - that's the most amazing ultrasound picture I've ever seen! What a beautiful baby!

It's so exciting that we're all entering second trimester now or about to. Really feels like we're getting somewhere now!

I decided to get a gender ultrasound, hoping for the first or second week of July. I can not wait to find out! I kept feeling girl, now I feel unsure, and I'm never right with gender feelings so I'm quite intrigued!

 

[WantaBelly]

Is this mean? I know that my husband would love another little but he won't be able to be with me when I have my ultrasound that they will tell me the gender on so I was thinking if its a I am going to tell him its a and then try to video his face when the baby comes out and its a Is this mean? I wouldn't do it if its the other way around as I think that would be mean but if it truly is a then I think it would be a good surprise. What do you guys think?