February...a month for Making Love & Making Babies!!!

[savvysaver]

Out this month

 

[beaglemom]

Out this month

Sorry...I was really hoping for you this month. You put in a great effort.

The bright side...you guys get to try again around V-Day

 

[sarahok]

Savvy I usually just say "Maybe we will someday." That usually shuts them up. I like Beaglemom's responses too! While it is frustrating, I try to remember when I would innocently make similar comments to my married friends in a joking spirit. Now I'm afraid I may have caused them some anguish if they were TTC! I mean, everyone knows not to ask a woman if she's pregnant, but you don't even really think of being fertility sensitive unless you've been through it!

 

[misaacs117]

Savvy I have been wondering the same thing but I am in a different boat. Where everyone knows we are TTC and they keep asking when and how it is going. I am having a really hard time and didn't say anything on here for fear that I would be too negative/depressing and don't know who else to speak to. I cried last night because a friend came over to announce their arrival of their second child. I am excited for them but very hurt on the inside. We have had 5 different couples since May tell us they are expecting and they all look right at me when they announce it like I am going to grow horns and burn them or something lol. I don't know what to say to people when they ask. I want to be shout "Leave me alone!" but I just try to explain what is going on without getting emotional. But last night I just cried and DH held me and told me it will all work out. But it doesn't help. Especially when people say "stop stressing and it will happen." I look at them now and say "So I have been stressed the past 4 years?" Kind of mean but seriously stop saying that! I don't know how to deal with this honestly. I have been researching the past few days on how to deal but I have not found anything that has really given me any good advice. If anyone else has any advice I would really appreciate it. Just having a really difficult time dealing with announcements and baby showers and kid's birthday parties.

 

[ERosePW]

Need some advice ladies...

No one knows (in real life) we are ttc or that we had a m/c in December. I have recently had a few people ask me why I don't have kids or when I would have kids. DH and I have been married 9 years and we used to get questions like this all the time and it never bothered me to answer them because at that point in my life we weren't ttc. No one has asked me in a long time and it really hit me yesterday when someone said to me "You are so good with kids, why don't you have any of your own?" Of course I felt like screaming ..."We are trying" and running out of the room tears running down my face...but instead I stood there not really knowing what to say or do.

So my question is...what do you say?

Life is hard enough right now to hear people asking me "why"

Savvy, I am SO sorry about the BFN. I had high hopes for you this month. Don't fret though... you'll get a BFP in March! It will happen soon, because you know you can conceive.

As for what I say when asked that question.... I think I'm very different from most. I see a lot of women who dont want people to know they're trying. I actually don't really mind all that much. But I don't volunteer the information myself.... I dont mention it to anyone. If asked though, I usually just say very casually, "Well, we're ready, so we'll get there soon." But I say it with a shrug of the shoulder, and then I change the subject. That keeps people from asking anything more. My whole family knows though, and so does DH's fam. And I have a couple of VERY close girlfriends who know. I dont mind them knowing, because honestly, it was really comforting when i had the m/c, and I got so many sweet and positive comments and lots of love.

 

[ERosePW]

So, I'm clearly very behind on this thread, but I did skim for info on beaglemom's IUI and AI, because I was very curious how it turned out. I'm glad to hear that you got both of those into your schedule. Really pretty excited for you this cycle.

Hi to everyone else, and i'm really sorry that I haven't kept up very well lately.

AFM, I'm on day 4 of Clomid, so tomorrow is the last pill. I haven't had any side effects at all, but I have a feeling I'll get them around my LH surge like last time. I started drinking the robitussin today. I had really thick CM this morning, and although I know it's not O time yet, I still think I need to start counter-acting it now. There's a lot more of it than my non-medicated cycle had, so I really think its the dang clomid for sure. So I figured if I start drinking the robitussin today, that's about the same day I started it last time, and my CM did end up thinning out and getting stretchy. I feel like this month is CRAWLING by. February has always felt like a long month to me (which is ironic since its the shortest month of the year), and its even worse when I'm waiting for O day to come, ugh.

 

[Curlymikes]

I just found out my sister inlaw who is 15 is pregnant. I feel so angry and jealous. She cant even take care of a baby and gets pregnant "accidentally" and i have been trying so long it seems and nothing. Its not fair! Sorry about my rant but i dont know who else would understand.

Im still praying this is my month and wanting to test tomorrow ( 10 dpo). I just dont want to waste the test and be dissapointed. When do you all start testing.

 

[ERosePW]

I just found out my sister inlaw who is 15 is pregnant. I feel so angry and jealous. She cant even take care of a baby and gets pregnant "accidentally" and i have been trying so long it seems and nothing. Its not fair! Sorry about my rant but i dont know who else would understand.

Im still praying this is my month and wanting to test tomorrow ( 10 dpo). I just dont want to waste the test and be dissapointed. When do you all start testing.

Oh no, I hate hearing when teens get prego accidentally, when I've been trying so long, ugh. So sorry you have to hear about that since its your SIL.

I TRY to wait until 14dpo to test; however, I never quite make it. I have some FRERs for when I know it will be more accurate. But I also have some of the internet cheapies, just in case I get bitten with the POAS bug a little earlier.

 

[beaglemom]

I appreciate anyone who has given me feedback & support this cycle. It is definitely good to read those things & know other people are thinking about me.

Curly, sorry about your SIL. I hope you can get to a point where it doesn't hurt so much. Believe me, I have been where you are. It is such a sensitive subject & at any point we can just break down. I have def had my points especially this cycle. I am def not new to TTC, but I just try so hard to focus on my future & just keep saying I KNOW it will happen. I have actually tried to stop using the word IF & replace it with WHEN. I know it is hard to stay positive especially when people are having babies who don't take care of them, take them for granted, or are not prepared for it. On another note, I hope your SIL has a strong support system in place. My sister was pregnant at 15. It is def a hard thing to go through.

As far as testing, I am so bad at waiting. I know I should. Usually the point when I test ends up being a day before AF decides to show. This cycle I am so anxious, I am not sure I can wait. But I also do not want to see that one lonely line. But having said all that, I have a ton of cheapo tests, so I actually might start super early...like tomorrow.

I think telling people about TTC is such a personal thing. We all have to open up how we feel comfortable. I am just not comfortable because I know I can't handle all kinds of people asking me how it's going. It also may depend on the people. Erin, you may not mind the questions, or you may have a great family & set of friends who are sensitive to the situation, therefore do not open their mouths & the stupid just falls out. I personally think it is a rude question. Not so much because you never know about infertility, but also it gives the perception that we were put here to make babies. That is not our job...but if we choice to, we can. But you know how you will feel if people ask, so keep that in mind as you tell people. I think it is similar to me buying baby things. Some people don't agree that is a good idea & I am setting myself up. But I know how I feel. And I know my reality & my expectations & my goals. I know the downfall I may take & am prepared for it. It is pretty much the same when telling people about your situation. I would never be comfortable with the way Erin is choosing to do things. But I am not her & she is not wrong...it is what works for her. And sometimes I do just feel like telling everyone this is what I am doing, this is where I am going, this is why I am so strung out. But I know that for ME it is not the best method.

 

[Curlymikes]

Beaglemom how many dpo are you? Any symptoms to report? Im almost as anxious to find out if you get your bfp this as i am for me haha. I really think this is your month!

I want to wait til sunday to test since i only have 3 tests and i wont be able to buy more. (i have to go far to get them and last time i asked the were out) So i need to save them.

This is the part of the tww where i start to go a little crazy. I just want to know either way. The first week im alright but as af due date approaches the days go by slower and my thoughts are more consumed! I hope my husband will take me out to dinner tomorrow to get my mind off it all.

I dont tell people i am ttc. Some found out ( including my family) when i had the m/c but i just dont like people thinking or even saying... Shes still not pregnant, omg. Or even asking me cause it makes it harder. When they do ask i just say something quick and try to change the subject like others here have mentioned

 

[beaglemom]

Beaglemom how many dpo are you? Any symptoms to report? Im almost as anxious to find out if you get your bfp this as i am for me haha. I really think this is your month!

I want to wait til sunday to test since i only have 3 tests and i wont be able to buy more. (i have to go far to get them and last time i asked the were out) So i need to save them.

This is the part of the tww where i start to go a little crazy. I just want to know either way. The first week im alright but as af due date approaches the days go by slower and my thoughts are more consumed! I hope my husband will take me out to dinner tomorrow to get my mind off it all.

I dont tell people i am ttc. Some found out ( including my family) when i had the m/c but i just dont like people thinking or even saying... Shes still not pregnant, omg. Or even asking me cause it makes it harder. When they do ask i just say something quick and try to change the subject like others here have mentioned

I am not sure my DPO...I am estimating O was Sunday or Monday. So that would only put me at about 3-4 dpo. But my IUI was Friday so I am 7 days past IUI. So I guess I should wait until at least Monday to test...even though that is super early. I estimate my cycle will be about 32 days since that is what clomid did to me before. So as usually everything feels up in the air. I wouldn't consider myself late until cd 33 since I have never gone that long. Only thing can say is I had some pink/red mixed in my cm yesterday. But seems too early to see implantation bleeding. So it was probably nothing. I have had frequent urination, but I sometimes get that anyways. So I don't think that was anything either. I am trying not to get too excited about it. So we will see.

 

[moni77]

savvy sorry.
Beagle - getting excited for you.

AFM - I am out this cycle - definitely another cyst. BUT on the bright side, it means I can enjoy my vacation, right? I am hoping a couple of Thai massages will help the little guys find the egg naturally. A lot of people know we have been trying and early on I instructed them not to ask how it was going - just see if I have a glass of wine once a month and guess on their own. If new people ask I just say not yet. As the fine ladies above stated - it is really a personal decision on how much you share with people and who you share it with. Everyones situation is different, so you need to just do what you are comfortable with. I can tell you one of my hardest days so far was going to my good friend's baby shower on the day I found out IUI #2 had failed. She knows that I have been trying but did not ask how it was going - she knows I'll tell her when I can!

 

[beaglemom]

savvy sorry.
Beagle - getting excited for you.

AFM - I am out this cycle - definitely another cyst. BUT on the bright side, it means I can enjoy my vacation, right? I am hoping a couple of Thai massages will help the little guys find the egg naturally. A lot of people know we have been trying and early on I instructed them not to ask how it was going - just see if I have a glass of wine once a month and guess on their own. If new people ask I just say not yet. As the fine ladies above stated - it is really a personal decision on how much you share with people and who you share it with. Everyones situation is different, so you need to just do what you are comfortable with. I can tell you one of my hardest days so far was going to my good friend's baby shower on the day I found out IUI #2 had failed. She knows that I have been trying but did not ask how it was going - she knows I'll tell her when I can!

Thanks...I am trying not to get too excited, but it is hard not to. I am glad you are being positive about things. I was actually considering massage therapy for us...mainly my husband for his anxiety issues. I wouldn't mind trying accupuncture...I have just been putting it off for cost reasons. And I don't want to be out of the office any more than I have to for right now. Because if IVF is in my future or even just an RE, I will have to be on my knees begging for some leniency. Which reminds me, I asked my dr office to fax me an invoice showing my IUI services so I can submit to insurance. She did & I was listening for the beep but forgot about it. Then my manager brought the fax to me. 2 things in my favor...it had a cover sheet & the print was really small on the next page. So he knows who the fax came from & I am sure knows it is a gyno office, but I doubt he looked at page 2 & if he did, it would have been a glance & he wouldn't have seen anything...I hope. Because that is akward especially since I haven't told him anything. I don't care if he sees a fax with my dr office name on it. I mean, I am a woman, one can assume I have a gyno.

 

[savvysaver]

I am so far behind this week. So I apologize that I can't individually thank each person but I did read everyone's responses and I appreciate that you took the time to answer my questions. TTC is a lot harder than I ever thought and you really have no clue what woman go through each month until you actually live it yourself.

So many close family/friends are getting pregnant by the second. I told my husband if I heard of one more pregnancy I would probably go off the deep end...then someone announces a pregnancy to me at my grandmothers funeral and someone else asks me why I don't have children, seriously this has been the worst week ever. Okay I know I am being dramatic, I am happy for the pregnant couple...yep, even if it was only their second month ttc. Obviously I am even more excited when one of the girls on our threads announces a bfp, just because we all deserve bfps! I'll get through this, I will heal and move on and keep ttc because I can't wait for my turn, my announcement and our families happiness.

I am sorry girls, I have two more questions...
1. Besides a SA for my husband, what test should I ask for first? I am demanding tests...not waiting 6+ months like my doctor wanted. If he won't do them, I will find a new doctor.

2. Is 9 days too short for a LP?

Thank you in advance for any help. I appreciate any and all suggestions!

 

[savvysaver]

moni - I am sorry you are out but glad that you can have a drink or two on vacation!

beaglemom, I am excited that you can start testing soon! I have a good feeling about your IUI and AI.

curly, hearing of a teen pregnancy or an "oops" pregnancy just gets my blood boiling. I am sorry to hear it is your sil. If you only have 3 tests then maybe wait as long as possible, you could hide the tests away from the bathroom just to make it harder to use one. Fx'd though - keep us posted!!

AFM: CD2 and the cramps aren't as bad as the last two months of AF. My temp took a major drop this morning and I am getting ready to make some babies, got the oven preheating...now I just need to find a few eggs!

 

[beaglemom]

I am so far behind this week. So I apologize that I can't individually thank each person but I did read everyone's responses and I appreciate that you took the time to answer my questions. TTC is a lot harder than I ever thought and you really have no clue what woman go through each month until you actually live it yourself.

So many close family/friends are getting pregnant by the second. I told my husband if I heard of one more pregnancy I would probably go off the deep end...then someone announces a pregnancy to me at my grandmothers funeral and someone else asks me why I don't have children, seriously this has been the worst week ever. Okay I know I am being dramatic, I am happy for the pregnant couple...yep, even if it was only their second month ttc. Obviously I am even more excited when one of the girls on our threads announces a bfp, just because we all deserve bfps! I'll get through this, I will heal and move on and keep ttc because I can't wait for my turn, my announcement and our families happiness.

I am sorry girls, I have two more questions...
1. Besides a SA for my husband, what test should I ask for first? I am demanding tests...not waiting 6+ months like my doctor wanted. If he won't do them, I will find a new doctor.

2. Is 9 days too short for a LP?

Thank you in advance for any help. I appreciate any and all suggestions!

SA for your husband...some will require 2 to compare.

The first thing my dr did as a blood test to check hormones...the next step was the HSG which is the dye test to check your tubes. Side note, even though you got pregnant before, don't assume that means your tubes are all clear. We never went further than that on me. I also have never had any issues in the past with my periods & my luteal phase seems fine.

9 days seems like a short luteal phase...I thought I read 10 day minimum. Although, maybe this depends on cycle length. But I don't think so. Even if you O early, you should still have a decent luteal. I would def mention that to dr. I was also told that B complex vitamins (I take B6 & B12) can help with lining, not sure about luteal phase.

 

[moni77]

Savvy - I dont know about the 9 days - I think it depends on other factors. There are 4 basic infertility tests - day 3 blood work, day 21 blood work, the HSG scan (expensive xray where they put dye in your tubes to make sure they are clear) and then you can do the post-coital exam. These last 2 are done just before ovulation. The post-coital exam actually is what showed us that we may have a male factor involved and is the least invasive - just like a pap smear - they take a swab of the semen out and look at it under a microscope - my doctor let me look as well. So, the test you ask for first depends on where you are at in your cycle - when I went for my appointment, I was ovulating so she started with the post-coital test the next day. I then did day 21labs, then day 3 labs and finally the HSG scan. Hope this helps.

 

[savvysaver]

SA for your husband...some will require 2 to compare.

The first thing my dr did as a blood test to check hormones...the next step was the HSG which is the dye test to check your tubes. Side note, even though you got pregnant before, don't assume that means your tubes are all clear. We never went further than that on me. I also have never had any issues in the past with my periods & my luteal phase seems fine.

9 days seems like a short luteal phase...I thought I read 10 day minimum. Although, maybe this depends on cycle length. But I don't think so. Even if you O early, you should still have a decent luteal. I would def mention that to dr. I was also told that B complex vitamins (I take B6 & B12) can help with lining, not sure about luteal phase.

Thank you for such a quick reply beaglemom! I thought I had read you needed at least 10 days for a LP too, so you are confirming my thoughts. I am not sure if my LP could have been altered due to the passing of my Grandmother but I thought I read stress/etc. can't cause it to differ. I am about 99% sure I O'd on CD17 confirmed by opk and temp shift. I usually have 24-26 day cycles and that one was 26 days so now I am freaked out maybe my LP is too short but I never realized it before! I hate to call my doctor and start demanding tests but I also hate to waste more time. Thanks again, I really appreciate your help!

edit - I think I am going to e-mail my dietitian and see if I can start vitamin B too, can't hurt, right?

 

[savvysaver]

Savvy - I dont know about the 9 days - I think it depends on other factors. There are 4 basic infertility tests - day 3 blood work, day 21 blood work, the HSG scan (expensive xray where they put dye in your tubes to make sure they are clear) and then you can do the post-coital exam. These last 2 are done just before ovulation. The post-coital exam actually is what showed us that we may have a male factor involved and is the least invasive - just like a pap smear - they take a swab of the semen out and look at it under a microscope - my doctor let me look as well. So, the test you ask for first depends on where you are at in your cycle - when I went for my appointment, I was ovulating so she started with the post-coital test the next day. I then did day 21labs, then day 3 labs and finally the HSG scan. Hope this helps.

Moni, thanks for your quick response! I am on CD2 but won't be able to call until Monday (CD5) and I don't know when I can get an appointment. If my new doctor won't listen to me and test me then I will contact another doctor in the area until I find someone who will! Thank you for all the information and testing times, that will be helpful when I am asking and telling them where I am in my cycle.

 

[FutureBabyG]

So my husband has just decided the IUI worked & I am pregnant. It is a great thing to be thinking...I am optimistic, yet realistic. So I hope he is right...it is at least a good thought for the next week & a half of waiting. Also I guess through whatever websites I am on, I am on some kind of mailing list from Similac. I received coupons the other day & then yesterday a formula sample. So he decided it is a sign. I am keeping the sample because it has a pretty good shelf life. So maybe I will actually get to use it. I just sat through a very long (3 hr) meeting. So glad it is over. At least for 3 hours I wasn't thinking about any of this.

I hope whatever wait you are on, it is going well. I know we are either waiting to O or waiting to test.

Some how i missed this. . My dh and i lived with my parents last year while we were finishing building our house. we had planned once we moved in we wouod start trying. well we moved into our house in late august but still havent changes our mailing adress for several things. new years eve we invited my parents over for dinner. my mom bring over our mail and hands it to me. then she handed me a box and said do you have something to tell me. i said no why. i about died when i read similac all over the box. after they left i tore through the box trying to find out where it came from. . . still have no clue. the next day Jan 1i got my bpf. i hope u get urs too, without the mc. good luck.