Felt like giving up, Got new hope!!

[Leetie13]

Xan - Thanks, I'm not worried about the number. If I do get a bfp I'll probably ask to have it checked again just to make sure it's where it should be.

I see your temp dropped I hate when you get that one sign that you just know it's over.

 

[xanzaba]

Yeah, I always know with the pimple, usually on my chin. AF hasn't started, but she's around the corner, I'm sure.

Your temps look awesome! Could that be a second rise, and right on time?!?

 

[Leetie13]

Xan- I don't know, I'm trying not to get excited I've had really nice temps before and then have them plummet. If they are still high Sunday I might be more excited.

 

[xanzaba]

Is Sunday your testing day?

 

[Leetie13]

Sunday will be 13 dpo and sometimes if I just know I'm out I'll test then so I can stop the progesterone and AF can come.

 

[TTC n Hopeful]

Xan - I think the witch got u, but Im not sure of charts. Big hugs!!

Leetie - you will be testing the day i O lol.

AFM - Im on cd18. I should O on Sunday. Weve been bd'ing everyday this week. Is that too often?

 

[Leetie13]

Ttc - Fx you O soon!

Some say every other day is better, but my fertility specialist and Gyno said it shouldn't make a difference if sperm is good.

We usually do every other day then when I know O is getting close we try to do every day.

 

[xanzaba]

Thanks, TTC. Yes, the witch caught up with me. I knew when I got the pimple.

The doctor also told us that it's better to do it more often, every day or two is good. Multiple times a day might be too much, too much longer isn't good either because things build up.

 

[xanzaba]

Leetie- I can't be patient anymore. Are you going to test tomorrow? I am keeping everything crossed for you!!!

 

[Leetie13]

I tested this morning it was negative

 

[xanzaba]

Hopefully just too early?

 

[Leetie13]

I'm 13 dpo, I'm stopping the progesterone but if af doesn't show in a few days I'll test again. I'm pretty sure she will though. I've been feeling PMSy.

 

[xanzaba]

Sorry to vent, but I've been having a tough time with the whole TTC thing these past few days. I've been building up frustration with trying to have a baby for so long (it'll be 4 years in November), and then this morning I put on some scented body lotion that I bought when I was pregnant about this time last year and it all came tumbling out. I realized I have been pregnant more this year than I haven't, and nothing to show for it except that I've gained some weight and feel a bit more broken. I have a conference up north in a couple of weeks and I'm really looking forward to going and seeing some friends and not thinking about babies.

Sorry for the rant...

 

[Leetie13]

Xan you never need to apologize for venting, that's what we are here for. I often wonder how you are doing emotionally because I can't begin to imagine the pain of losing a baby once let alone twice. I've been struggling a little too with this whole process. We've been trying for over 5 years. I don't even feel like I'm trying to get pregnant anymore. I just take these drugs because it's what I'm supposed to do, I temp every morning because it's routine I've been doing it for so long now. But for some reason I still have hope and belief that I will get pregnant and have a baby one day. I hope you have a safe fun trip and you feel a little better when you get back.

 

[xanzaba]

Thanks, Leetie. Most of the time it's okay, but every once in a while I feel empty. I want so bad for all of us to get our tiny bundles of joy. Sometime I see other people on other threads trying for their 2nd or 3rd and I hate feeling like this, but I just want to yell because I would happily settle for 1 baby. But that's just me being grumpy and I know it will happen and I might end up being one of those women. I also know I'm going to be nervous through the whole pregnancy when it happens.

 

[Leetie13]

I know what you mean. I'm happy for people who get to celebrate becoming pregnant or having their baby. I'm surrounded by them and I celebrate with them. But sometimes when they make a comment when their child's being difficult and they say " are you sure you want to do this" I feel like screaming I would give anything for that. I sit back and listen to them all talk about being pregnant and mother stuff and I have no first hand experience to participate in the conversation so sometimes I feel left out. But I love my family and all the kids and I wouldn't change it for anything I just want to add my own little one into the mix.


I beleive all women have the right to complain or vent while they are pregnant or even when they have kids, because i know it is hard and stressful but sometimes I wish everyone had to work a little harder to become a parent so maybe they wouldn't take a single second of it for granted.

 

[TTC n Hopeful]

Xan - no need to apologize. Like Leetie said i couldnt imagine what u have been thru. Everyone seems to be pregnant now and its so depressing. U will get your bundle of joy one day.

Leetie - I know what u mean saying its what u are supposed to do. Sometimes its just too much. I feel u will get your bundle of joy too. I think God put us thru this so we can appreciate what so many women take for granted.

AFM - still no O. Which is actually good because this whole TTC thing is taking a toll on DF and I. We havent bd'd in 2 days and quite frankly I would rather punch him in the throat lol. I realize its all my crazy emotions going on but it just feels like hes not understanding of all i have to go thru. Plus the fact of feeling like a failure beings everyone around us is pregnant. Its just a lot. I think this time of year makes it much harder because the holidays are coming and it makes u see all this family stuff. Its all just so depressing.

 

[xanzaba]

Yep, it's definitely hard to want to do your wifely duties when you'd rather scream at DH/DF than cuddle with him. Fortunately, DH goes out of town 1 week/month and it lets me reset. Then again, he works from home the other 3 weeks, which makes it that much worse when he's getting on my nerves. We try to have a date night when things are getting tough, somewhere we can have a nice walk or go bowling or something fun.

 

[Leetie13]

Ttc - This process is definitely a lot harder around the holidays. Every year I always wonder and hope if next year I'll have my own little one to celebrate with.

Sorry you haven't O'd and you're not in the mood for bd. DH hates that our time together is usually on a schedule. Not that I make him wait until O time or anything but if he had it his way we would bd everyday multiple times a day lol.


I hope we all can just get out of this funk and get our spirits back up soon.

 

[TTC n Hopeful]

Glad to see I'm not the only one feeling like this! We finally did the deed yesterday. Still more smiley but my boobs are hurting so it's on the way. The cheap test was close but not positive so I know I know I haven't missed the peak. Well judging by past cycles the cheap one is always still positive after the peak smiley. But we all know our bodies have a mind of their own. Last month I O'd on cd 23. That's today so we shall see what the day holds!!