funny things you sed whilst in labour

[SophiasMummy]

Mine were all to do with pain relief lol.

"I feel like I'm paused!" - First taste of G&A

"My Fingers are sausages - I need Mummy... or an ambulance!" - G&A again. Pretty impressed that I managed to quote the inbetweeners whilst in labour

"I won't lie to you Michael - I really like the G&A. It's like that park of a really good night out where you're drunk enough to be everyone's friend but not so drunk that people hate you yet!" - To my anesthetist (sp?)
"I love you Michael... you gave me the best thing ever... until the baby is here... but for now... I love you!" - After my epi

xx

this is so funny and so true lol

 

[ILoveShoes]

About the G&A: "I feel druuuuuuunk!" and then, "uh, now I feel sick!"
When the doctor was turning LO: "ewww, that feels horrible! Aah, you're really hurting me!!!" at the top of my voice!
Then, I turned to DH and said, "we're having a baby!" Everyone laughed at me!
Oh, and after all the pushing, I said to the doctor "I bet I've got really bad piles now, haven't I?!"
xx

 

[louandivy]

"I won't lie to you Michael - I really like the G&A. It's like that park of a really good night out where you're drunk enough to be everyone's friend but not so drunk that people hate you yet!" - To my anesthetist (sp?)

"I love you Michael... you gave me the best thing ever... until the baby is here... but for now... I love you!" - After my epi

xx

I think I love you!

Seriously though, gas and air was that good? Damn, I missed out!

 

[MrsNovBaby]

TO DH 'my voice feels funny' and then 'I think that my ar*e is falling out, don't look' and then while I was being stitched (under epi) 'make me like a virgin'

Loved that G and A, but the Epi was better

Forgot about when they burst my waters, I shouted 'tsunami'

 

[KittyVentura]

Seriously. After 9 months of being under the influence of nothing... it was gooood lol.

I liked it so much I managed to keep the G&A after the epi. "I just need it for security... I won't suck any... it's a security blanket now"... then as soon as she leaves the room *SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK* lol

Honestly I loved my labour once I got the pain relief... we all had such a laugh lol xx

 

[smokey]

Some other ones

standing in a pool of my own waters
"well some one could have warned me labour was so undignified"

After being told to shout it will make me feel better
"im British dam it I refuse to scream"

I spent most of my labour on a ward during visiting hours
"Can someone please shut the bloody curtain thier grandad is getting an eyefull"

Being wheeled to the delivery room the nurse kept bashing into the wall so I whispered to hubby (well I think I whispered)
"next time get me one that can drive"

 

[Wriggley]

I was given gas and air - then 30 minutes later they took it off me as i was being far to loud and all the mummies on the wards could hear me

from what i have been told:

i was screaming I LOVE MY BELLY RUBS

and apparantly a person walked past with bags on his feet and i thought it was our dog Hiro and was calling him

My MIL tried to destract me from screaming and asked me what i wanted to say to my baby when he was born - i replied: Il tell him he gotta try some of this' and held up the gas and air mouth piece

my mum was SO emmbarrased she ran off to the toilet because i was that loud - the toilets where quite far from my room and there was people sitting on seats near the toilets and were looking around all confused because they could hear me going AHAHAHA HARHARHAR AAAAAAAAAAAA lol

 

[louandivy]

Seriously. After 9 months of being under the influence of nothing... it was gooood lol.

I liked it so much I managed to keep the G&A after the epi. "I just need it for security... I won't suck any... it's a security blanket now"... then as soon as she leaves the room *SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK* lol

Honestly I loved my labour once I got the pain relief... we all had such a laugh lol xx

Oh yeah once I had my epidural I had a great time! Both of my midwives were quite young so we just sat around and gossiped, I stayed in touch with one of them and we're friends now actually!

 

[Carlyp1990]

"My Fingers are sausages - I need Mummy... or an ambulance!" - G&A again. Pretty impressed that I managed to quote the inbetweeners whilst in labour

 

[cabaretmum2b]

Oh yeah, the MW tyold me to cough for the placenta, and I just kind of went..."ahem."

 

[Peardrop]

I can remember reading one of these threads before I was even pregnant and someone saying that they were going to get up and leave, that they'd had enough and were just going home. I found this very funny although I couldn't understand why someone could say that.

It must have stuck in my mind as apparently I told my OH several times that I was going home! (I understand now!)

 

[Rhio92]

I love this thread!

For some reason, when I was in the birthing pool,i suddenly realised I hadn't seen my cat in ages And for some reason, I felt like announcing it 'I miss my cat. He's called Ralph. He's very friendly!'

I was sat in the birth pool, poking bits of plug and stuff, and going into detail about it to the mifwife.

I felt like a needed a poo And said 'what if someone's swapped my bum and vagina round?!'

With the radio on, the go compare advert came on and I screamed 'I'm going to kill that stupid fat man!'

I also remember going 'moooooo' during a contraction

And the first thing I said after LO came out, literally just as he'd come out, was 'f*cking hell' The doctor didn't look too impressed

 

[Divabell]

ive been crying with laughter at all of these!

Some of mine:

After my first suck of the gas and air "does my voice sound funny? my voice sounds funny doesnt it?" I repeated this EVERY time i used the gas and air.

when the MW asked if it was ok if the studant MW checked my cervix i replied "I couldnt give a fuck, get the whole ward to have a feel if you want"

And upon seeing the rather dashing young doc who might av been performing my emergancy c-section after babies hb dropped "fucking hell, your fit, are you gonna stick your hand up my twinkle? go ahead son"

 

[divershona]

"who the fu*k designed white dressing gowns for labour?" I'd bought a white dressing gown to use whilst in the hospital and I had it on whilst in labour and it was getting dirty from me leaking on it so i took it off and was naked the rest of the time because i was too hot (the midwife was looking at my foof anyway https://s1.bbstatic.com/images/smilies/haha.gif)

When i was in the water pool i turned to the midwife and said "I don't mean to be rude but why do you look like a smurf?" and she replied with " Well... I think that is rather rude actually" she had on those blue scrubs and whenever I looked at her she reminded me of a smurf hehe. ( I did apologise to her after Kaya was born though https://s1.bbstatic.com/images/smilies/haha.gif)

When i got my gas and air back when i got into the birthing pool i said that it made me feel drunk again and that my OH should get the champagne out because our LO would be here soon.

When I was walking from the pool room back to my delivery room I saw one of the other girls from my antenatal classes who was due on the same day as me coming onto the delivery ward and i told her that she wanted the gas and air and to trust me on that!

When Kaya was crowning I turned to my OH and told him that the ring of fire felt like f*king fire.

 

[Rhio92]

I can remember reading one of these threads before I was even pregnant and someone saying that they were going to get up and leave, that they'd had enough and were just going home. I found this very funny although I couldn't understand why someone could say that.

It must have stuck in my mind as apparently I told my OH several times that I was going home! (I understand now!)

I wondered the same And I kept saying I was going home throughout

 

[Nut_Shake]

Hahahaaaaaaa!! I'm dying!!!

 

[Wriggley]

"who the fu*k designed white dressing gowns for labour?" I'd bought a white dressing gown to use whilst in the hospital and I had it on whilst in labour and it was getting dirty from me leaking on it so i took it off and was naked the rest of the time because i was too hot (the midwife was looking at my foof anyway https://s1.bbstatic.com/images/smilies/haha.gif)

When i was in the water pool i turned to the midwife and said "I don't mean to be rude but why do you look like a smurf?" and she replied with " Well... I think that is rather rude actually" she had on those blue scrubs and whenever I looked at her she reminded me of a smurf hehe. ( I did apologise to her after Kaya was born though https://s1.bbstatic.com/images/smilies/haha.gif)

When i got my gas and air back when i got into the birthing pool i said that it made me feel drunk again and that my OH should get the champagne out because our LO would be here soon.

When I was walking from the pool room back to my delivery room I saw one of the other girls from my antenatal classes who was due on the same day as me coming onto the delivery ward and i told her that she wanted the gas and air and to trust me on that!

When Kaya was crowning I turned to my OH and told him that the ring of fire felt like f*king fire.

lmfao at the smurph thing did she understand?

 

[brooke28]

Here in the US we don't get gas and air...and I wanted to have a natural childbirth, so I opted not to have the epidural. But as I got closer and closer to delivery I started to have a change of hear because the pain was so intense, so I told them I wanted the epidural...but when they checked my cervix I was dilated 10, and they said there was no time for one.

At this point, I proceeded to try to cross my legs and said "I'm not pushing...I refuse until yu give me the darn epidural!!!!" lol
Unfortunately, my little temper tantrum didn't work...but my dh and doctor got a good laugh!!!

Also, DH kept telling me he loved me and I was doing so good...and all I would say is "Whatever!!"
And at one point I told him "If you say it isn't that bad one more time, I promise I will knock you out!!! If it isn't that bad, you get up here and do it!!!" haha

 

[jeanettekaren]

I thought I was in Asda after an hour on the gas and air. Kept going on about what I wanted oh to put in the trolley and got very stroppy when I thought he wasn't getting what I wanted

 

[emmalouise09]

TO DH 'my voice feels funny' and then 'I think that my ar*e is falling out, don't look' and then while I was being stitched (under epi) 'make me like a virgin'

Loved that G and A, but the Epi was better

Forgot about when they burst my waters, I shouted 'tsunami'

That actually creased me,