funny things you sed whilst in labour

[kerrie24]

I was telling the midwife to change my g & a cos it smelt of hotdogs!

 

[CeriB]

I talked - a lot - about salt and vinger crisps! I also asked, as the MW was examing me, if my baby had hair or not! Oh, the dignity!

 

[mummyclo]

Aparently my mum said i told my OH " that was good back rubbing!"

 

[Su11]

My OH told me to show the midwife my war face during a contraction - my response while high as a kite on g&a was 'come closer we can show her your war face' (i was trying to grab him in his intimate area ) the mw couldnt stop laughing

 

[hel_5]

This is BRILLIANT

I didnt have anything for the labour (it was too quick!) but when they brought me into the room they tired to get me onto the bed - i refused to get on the bed cause i was convinced i was going to pee and kept saying i cant pee on a midwife - in the end she said if its going to calm her down let her pee but it turned out i didnt need to pee and ended up having LO in the bathroom - stood up - i kept apologising to the midwives and they just kept laughing at me and said all they had to do was catch her
but when i had stitches i had SO much g&a i got a fit of giggles saying wasnt it ridulous that i needed nothing for labour but for a few stitches i was sucking on the g&a for dear life - at this point DH told me to lay of it for a bit - but my midwife said feck that take all you can - so i did

 

[Thurinius]

After much, much gas and air (even after I'd had the epidural and so was in noooo pain at all) I became convinced there were two little mice under the bin across the other side of the room. I made my OH go check for me and was fully up for complaining about the cleaning standards when OH told me there were no mice.
It was a hallucination.

 

[Pixxie]

I turned to my OH and said 'I've changed my mind, I don't want a baby any more.'

And when her head was out and I had the 'ring of fire' I was asking for a section xx

 

[ouchwithNo.2]

I thought contractions were supposed to hurt.......
hahahahahaha
6hrs later with a back to back labour begging for an epi!!!

 

[Tudor Rose]

puffing on the G&A- Oh i forgot how good this stuff is!

DH started rubbing my arm trying to comfort me. i said to him " i dont mean to be nasty but will you go away from me i dont want you near me your irratating"

MW said to DH "do you wanna see your baby come out?" Me growling " dont you dare. you stay where you are" DH sat back down.

Me after a contraction still high on G&A "i sound like a cow mooing"
next contraction i make the moo sound and start laughing!!

that gas and air is something

 

[Tudor Rose]

im laughing so much reading these my stomach is hurting. them MWs must go home with some tales

 

[lovealittle1]

ME "I pooped cam someone please clean me up?"

DH"ok"

ME "not you!!!!"

 

[clara123]

My mum bought me a brown silky nighty and whilst on the gas and air I got upset saying I looked like a big fat piece of poo. I then thought it was hilarious and walked round the room pretending to be a poo. I was booked in for a cesarean but my waters broke three weeks early so was getting contractions etc whilst waiting for them to take me to theatre. I told the midwife I was readyand could they hurry up as I didn't want to mess my hair up. She mustve thought I was really vain and bossy.

 

[littleredhen]

The midwife (trying to spur me on) said I can see lots of dark hair! As me and OH are fair, I looked at him and said "Well don't look at me!"

 

[smam]

These are brilliant ladies! I literally have tears foling down my face!

I remember saying to my partner that I would shove a watermelon up his foreskin then see how much fun he would have pushing that out!.... cue very astonished looks from the MWS! I don't even know what he had said or done to make me say that because he was actually really good! lol!

I remember with my DD being stitched up and shouting at the MW... I DON'T CARE IF I'M LIKE THE DARTFORD TUNNEL, F**K OFF! LOL!

 

[xnmd1]

first i had the gas and air and i said "i don't like this" then i looked at OH and said "remember that night i was throwing up in fred's bathroom? thats what i feel like right now"

then apparently i asked for pethidine but i don't remember, and didn't notice the nurse give it to me. and i said "oh my god theres something wrong with me! i can't hold my eyes open!" and the nurse explained to me that she just gave me pethidine .. and thats when i screamed at her "THIS SHIT SUCKS GET ME SOMETHING ELSE"

i never said anything mean to OH though .. i don't think i even acknowledged he was there lmao.

then when LO was born, the first thing i said was "Daniel, does he have your big forehead?"

 

[cabaretmum2b]

Just remembered one! When I was begging for my epidural, the anaesthetist came in and was explaining what was involved. When he said I'd have to stay still for like 5 minutes for him to do it, I decided I couldn't have it. He was trying to explain why I should have it because I was in SO much pain and I would feel so much better after etc etc, and all I could think was that he was like an epidural salesman, so of course he was sayign these things because he WANTED to sell me the epi! I was just getting really cross with him for no reason

 

[mystika802]

I told my boyfriend that I thought I was going to poo myself approximately 395832985098502 times during my 11 hour labour

me too. I did that with both labors lol

 

[Lellow]

''They lied, they all lied, why me???' Over and over and over again...

Id attempt to stand up and turn around to show DH my bum...''Ive shat myself haven't, haven't I...?'' - He'd look all sheepish and embarrassed.

Then at the last push ''No im not pushin no more, leave him in there if you want, im pushing no bloody more...''.............Out come the ventouse!

 

[WhiteGeisha]

The first time they examined me in labour I was 10cm dialated and I asked if there was any chance labour would stop now.
While on all fours I said I felt like a farm animal so yelled out "MOOOOOOO" while pushing a few times (it helped!) :cow:
I hugged my bump and wailed that I would miss it and wasn't ready to say goodbye.
When I first saw LO crowning (I was using a birthing mirror) I burst into tears and said "oh wow he's perfect! I love him so much!!!"
Apparently between pushes I would mutter under my breath "Easy, easy this is easy" followed shortly by "Come on Squiggle, we can do this!!" as the next urge came. Squiggle was my bumps name btw.

OMG this is just tooooo funny. I'm crying with laughter at the mooooing!!!x

 

[xemmax]

Oh god I have a few...

Most embarrassingly I had an internal cyst and when I began to push the midwife said she could see the head, and I told her she was lying and "it's not the head, it's my fucking cyst!"

Lovely!