funny things you sed whilst in labour

[babyerin]

I remember being on all fours and naked apart from a bra shouting "MUM I HAVE DONE A POO, I'VE POOED HAVEN'T I? HAVE A LOOK!"- this was at the pushing phase and she was stuck. But yes, i had actually pooped

I also remember shouting at the doctor "How far up do you FUCKING WANNA GO!?" when he had his whole bloody hand up there trying to feel if her head was coming down right.

The joys of labour.

 

[Shabutie]

I asked for an epidural at 6cm, and they said the anethetist's would be back in an hour as he had to go off an do a C-section, so they convinced me to try G and A, so 20mins later the midwives were talking about the anethetist and I said:

'Yeah and he can go away, he's gone and left me'

Another one is when OH was stroking my hair and I told him to stop it, and he carried on so I said:

(Whispering) 'F**k off' (Shouting) 'PAUL'

Said loads of times I was going to poo myself.

Another one:

I started coughing and had brought up some phlem, pushing it to the end of my tounge and poking my tounge out I said:

'Quick mum, quick, snot, quick... errrr!'

Another:
I was worried about trying G and A, and after a few inhales on it, i said to OH,

'She isn't going to know who I am'

I was also worried I would drop her, being on the G and A

Another:

When they said I was allowed to push and no longer needed the G and A and were going to take it away, I insisted i'll hold onto it.

Another:

When they told me to push I said to my mum:

'I've got to do what they do on the programmes' - I watched SO many baby programmes. Haha

I can't think of anything else. I think that was bad enough. lol.

xXx

 

[peanut56]

I yelled at my doctor to fuck off.
I had the urge to push, and they told me to push. Once the baby's head was really starting to come out, they said I had to wait for the doctor. It was AGONIZING to not push. Finally, she showed up and said okay! Push! I started pushing. She said oh wait! I need to put my apron on. Okay, push! I started pushing. Oh wait! I need my gloves. Push! I push. Oh wait, I need my glasses! I screamed "Fuck off and let me push goddammit!!!!"
I decided while pushing that I couldn't do it. I told my OH she'd be okay staying in there, I would shove food up there for her everyday.

 

[vaniilla]

I wasn't on anything during labour which made me worse! I remember screaming a lot and in between apologizing for screaming every 2 mins (while screaming), then shouting 'why me' very often lol I also remember shouting for something to hit me on the head I wanted to do anything to get away from the pain

 

[MrsEngland]

i went in labour on christmas day and in the middle of the puffing and panting in pain i looked at the clock and literally just said boxing day as it hit midnight then went back to my gas and air.

 

[blue.bird]

.

 

[SRTBaby]

Lol! you ladies are funny, i didn't have gas but i think they might have given me morphine which didn't work.

I remember asking the nurse if it was okay for the to cry lol! I never cried but i was sure i was going to.

 

[Samaraj]

I sat on the edge of the bed spinning my top half going "wwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

yay for gas

 

[littleredhen]

I was having a hard time pushing in the right place (hard to explain...I was pushing but nothing was happening) so everytime it would be time for me to push everyone would push with me (my Dr. was pushing REALLY hard lol) so I said to the nurse that someone would definitely be leaving with a baby but I didnt know if it would me or the Doc and the nurse said "you're gonna have a baby...he's just gonna have hemorrhoids". I could not stop laughing to push. xx

 

[tu123]

I was having a hard time pushing in the right place (hard to explain...I was pushing but nothing was happening) so everytime it would be time for me to push everyone would push with me (my Dr. was pushing REALLY hard lol) so I said to the nurse that someone would definitely be leaving with a baby but I didnt know if it would me or the Doc and the nurse said "you're gonna have a baby...he's just gonna have hemorrhoids". I could not stop laughing to push. xx

So funny!

These posts are great.

I cant remember much except "get me the f@@king epidural"!

 

[littleredhen]

I was having a hard time pushing in the right place (hard to explain...I was pushing but nothing was happening) so everytime it would be time for me to push everyone would push with me (my Dr. was pushing REALLY hard lol) so I said to the nurse that someone would definitely be leaving with a baby but I didnt know if it would me or the Doc and the nurse said "you're gonna have a baby...he's just gonna have hemorrhoids". I could not stop laughing to push. xx

So funny!

These posts are great.

I cant remember much except "get me the f@@king epidural"!

Yep...I believe I said that too .

 

[peanut56]

They came in and offered me an epidural once they saw I was at 4cm. At that point I was trying to be all tough so I told them no, I didn't need one. About 5 seconds after they left I started crying to my husband about how I couldn't take the pain anymore and why oh why did I say no? He told me he would go out and get them to come back and I said "no, I had my chance! They're not going to give me one now! That's it! It's over!!" I totally had myself convinced that that was my one and only chance at an epidural.

 

[MiissMuffet]

I was talking to penguins

 

[charlotte-xo]

i just wanted to see pictures of my dog i was in hospital for a day and night before i went into established labour it was the first night id spent away from her lol. luckily oh bought the camera and it had plenty of pictures of her. how sad am i

 

[krissy1984]

Hehe I remember begging for the epi whilst rocking on all 4s, then when they did it I was so happy I kept saying thank you, also when I was pushing the midwive said I wasn't pushing hard enough and I said sorry! My OH said he was surprised I didn't tell her to f*ck off I think I was just happy as she had a break before she I pushed and she told me I couldn't have any more of the epi so I asked the 2 who took over n they did it, I won!

 

[MissBroody]

I said some funny things - my OH told me most of it but randomly since the birth things have come back to me and I can remember saying it. I had G+A and shouted over and over ''I'm high as a kite! I'm highhhhhh as a kite! Gail, Gail! (mw) I'm high as a kite! - have some!!'' My mum and OH were in with me and I kept saying ''Mummy mummy I love you mummy, I need my mummy'' and I remember shouting (as I felt the urge to push) ''I need a poo - GAIL - I need a poo'' and then did a huge fart When my MW came in to introduce herself to me she smelled really strongly of perfume, and she said her name and then I thought she'd left the room, but she was just in another part of the room and I shouted ''fucking hell, she have enough perfume on? smells like a tart's parlour in here now!'' and I made such embarrassing wailing noises - my mum and OH were in stitches but didn't want me to see them laughing funny now - but just aswell I didn't realise at the time lol.
xx

 

[chubbin]

I told the anaethetist she looked like Professor Brian Cox after she gave me the epidural. It was meant as a compliment xx

 

[Rayah123]

I remember my other half keeping asking to hold my hand and i said "dont you dare bloody touch me" He kept accidently knocking the bed and i shouted at the top of my voice "you knock the bed one more time il shove that radio where the sun dont shine and u'll need surgery to remove it!" lol then when it came to the pushing the midwife kept trying to give me gas and air and i shouted her to stop pissing me off because i didnt want it

 

[Parkep]

I will add more later but this is my best one high as a freaking kite on gas and air while I was being stitched up (could feel everything!) I told the dr if he didn't cut it out I was going to kick him in the face! My nurse didn't like him much was in stitches. Also at the same time so I didn't kick him in the face they put her on my chest, and one of the first things I said to her " I'm so glad I don't have to lie about you being cute" and "don't let me drop her" lol

 

[smokey]

One of the funniest things that happened to us though wasnt something actualy said.

The mw said she was going to give me a tablet for some pain relief after birth and stitches, I was too busy chatting away to hubby so didnt hear her say sapository.
A few moments later I was laying on my side chatting to hubby when all of a sudden she took me by surprise and hubby just pissed himself laughing, apparently the look on my face was just complete shock with a wide mouthed ooooooooo look mid sentance