funny things you sed whilst in labour

[Nicoleoleole]

! I love this! I didn't say anything funny I don't remember...

 

[Kimmer]

These are brilliant!

I remember needing a cannula in my hand. I was already on G&A, just as the bloke was gonna put the needle in I said 'If you hurt me I'm gonna hit you with this! (and held up the G&A nozzle thing)'

When I had my first suck on the G&A I said "I don't like it! oh my voice sounds funny *huuuge suck on the G&A* ooo I'm barry white! *Another huge suck*" I then started to sing a medley of Barry White and Lionel Richie songs (I got mixed up )

I loved that stuff!

 

[2245db01]

when i had my daughter i asked the midwife delivering her what football team he supported.
when i had my son i told my hubby i didnt want to do it anymore as it hurt and that he should finish for me, i then procedded to try and get out of the bed so we could swap places lol x

 

[WhiteGeisha]

I kept saying 'stop looking at my fanny' 'why does everyone insist on looking at my fanny' 'I feel pressssuuuuuurrrrreeeeee' 'I can't stand up becoz the baby is going to fall out' 'I've crapped myself again' 'I've shit myself again' 'I'm sorry if my shit stinks' and everytime some happened down there I.e water, plug, blood coming out I would shout at my mw 'what was that, what's happening' 'look I know I've just shit myself so don't pretend, I just want you to say yes you've just shit youself again, why won't you tell me'.

My mum got pretty annoyed with me shouting 'why does everyone want to look at my fanny' everytime the Dr or mws came in!x

 

[Kalah]

Midwife: "I can see the head!"
Me: "Can you just pull her out?"

 

[merryb]

On the gas and air...... they were trying to break my waters and the midwife commented on how tight my cervix was.

To which I replied: "Thanks..... I work out."

Well, its rude not to accept a compliment

 

[blinkybaby]

LOL these are funny! I just remember saying "can't you just suck him out with that sucky thingy???" during my pushing stage that lasted longer than I would've hoped. Then when he came out I looked at my partner and said "oh wow, he's not ugly...he's lovely."

 

[moomoo]

Apparently I told OH "my ass is going to explode!!"

I don't remember saying it though! Hahaha

 

[Kalah]

I almost forgot the other one after she came out I asked if her head was going to stay that cone shape!

 

[mystika802]

I dont know if I said anything funny, I'll have to ask my hubby but got me laughing reading all these

 

[cabaretmum2b]

To the MW getting out a needle of anaesthetic:
Me: What's that?
Her: We might need to cut you to help get the baby out.
Me: No you're f*cking not, put that b*stard away you b*tch!!!

I'd only been pushing for about 10 minutes, I think she was just trying to hurry me along

 

[ljo1984]

drunk on gas and air i was thinking of my cat who is very afectionate (she was a kitten at the time very cute and fluffy) and i started crying cause i wanted to be at home cuddling with her not hooked upto evil oxitocin in agony, OH asked what was wrong and i said in a pathetic voice "i want Tilly!!" ha ha he just looked at me like i was a loony lol.

i didnt swear shout or carry on so thats the best ive got lol.

 

[New Mrs W]

Me: It's really hurting!
MW: I know but you're doing well.
Me: Can I just be put to sleep? But not put to sleep like a dog!
MW + DH: LOL

 

[Tudor Rose]

 

[AP]

The midwives told me to push and I just sighed "oh fuck off" lol

I allllmost sang moon pig too, but snapped out of it when I opened my mouth!

Oh yeeeeah and it was the day after Michael Jackson died and I loved him, I sat saying to DH "This is yours, and Michael Jacksons fault"

 

[xnmd1]

Me: It's really hurting!
MW: I know but you're doing well.
Me: Can I just be put to sleep? But not put to sleep like a dog!
MW + DH: LOL

 

[AP]

Aw god I'm in tears reading these sooooo funny! I've got eyeliner down my face!

 

[xemmax]

Apparently I told OH "my ass is going to explode!!"

I don't remember saying it though! Hahaha

hahaha!

when i was pushing i said "is my bum coming out?"

 

[Stacey_89]

i didnt really say anything funny, but when i was in the pool and having contractions my OH was stroaking my head and i just snapped and said STOP STOAKIN MY F*CKING HEAD!!! lol

 

[smokey01]

OH: stop screaming it can't hurt that much (as he was crowning, I had epidural that didn't take on left side)
me: f off you fing twat you try sh***ing a watermelon
midwife: don't worry sarah we don't judge anyone (with a wink)