Hi everyone,44 and pregnant,need some bump buddies

[SeaShells]

Glowstar - I really hope that it's not over for you.

Sorry all of my posts recently have been nothing but doom and gloom. Honestly, I am usually a really lively and fun person!

I now understand the meaning of the expression 'rollercoater of emotions':

Thursday appt with GP to talk through getting support for antenatal depression.
Friday - date for earlier scan. Excitement beyond compare - gonna see 'Beany'!
Saturday - find out the truth about BF - he's met someone else
Sunday - complete meltdown; BF wants to cut all ties with me and Beany. Finally tell my mum everything
Monday - no heartbeat, all indications point to pregnancy 'not viable'

My head's spinning.

Desperado how have you done this 9 times???

How do you get through this? I am so so so sad. You know when I felt particularly bad? All the other ladies came out with little pics of their Beans. I was really looking forward to that. When I had finished not only was I empty handed, but I had to sit in the waiting room while they updated my notes. During that time several other couples came out grinning clutching their grainy little pics. I could have just curled up and cried then.

Then there was the rigmarole of having to rebook because I had a scan booked for 24th June when I would have been 12.5 weeks. The sonographer said to the receptionist at the top of her voice - 'this lady needs to be rebooked for an early scan because there's no way she's almost 11 weeks'. I know she didn't mean it and perhaps I was just feeling very sensitive but it still hurt to hear it.

To top it all, I had to go through Maternity to get out (the scanning unit is behind Maternity) and it felt like every conceiveable bump, newborn, pram, car seat and toddler was staring at me as I left.

What a day - well all of the above had happened by half past ten...

Oh Ruth2307I really dont know what to say,i am so so sorry you are having such an awful time,as the other ladies have already said i just wish we could hug you,remember we are all here for you. Thinking of you.Lots and lots of hugs

 

[SeaShells]

Ruth, my thoughts and prayers are with you. X x

Well don't think this looks good as bleeding started again. Not sure why but did a digi which still says 3+ but hormones not dropped enough yet. I always knew there was a chance of this happening because of my age but you hope and pray it doesn't. I am praying for all you ladies and feel awful that you have to read my woes.

Glowstar my thoughts are with you
We are all here to support each other through the good and bad times,please dont feel awful for posting how and what you are feeling. lots and lots of hugs

 

[Mellybelle]

Blood draw tpday ladies...
Last Wed hcg: 380 , Today: 3823

I'll stop worrying for a couple of day now. Then i'll go into full blown panic mode just before my scan.

 

[SeaShells]

Good Morning Ladies

How is everyone today??
Desperado how did was your visitor yest, hope it wasnt as bad as you 1st thought...

I had very bad yest, woke miserable,grumpy and tired and couldnt get of the mood all day, had a few cries too. Spoke to DR and he didnt need to see me just for me to book into midwifes, so i went in afternoon and got paperwork etc, midwife should call by time i am 10 weeks,going by last period i am 6 weeks but i know i am only 3 from Ovulation..this confuses me a bit When i look up what stage the baby is at do i look at 3 or 6 weeks, sorry if this is a dumb Q but in past pregnancies i have never known exactly OV so have always gone by last period so this is new to me....

 

[Mellybelle]

SS - Hf\ope your mood picks up today. You'll be classed as 5 weeks pregnant. Add two weeks on to you ov.

 

[Desperado167]

Blood draw tpday ladies...
Last Wed hcg: 380 , Today: 3823

I'll stop worrying for a couple of day now. Then i'll go into full blown panic mode just before my scan.

That is wonderful news Hun,

 

[Desperado167]

Hi seashells,sorry your mood is down,yep u wud be five weeks,I shud be six on Thursday,the day of my scan,your hormones will be allover the place ATM,up then down,hope u feel better soon,The visit went well yesterday,couldn't believe my luck,everything was very civilised,and I was totally fine,worry over lol,

 

[SeaShells]

SS - Hf\ope your mood picks up today. You'll be classed as 5 weeks pregnant. Add two weeks on to you ov.

Thank you so i look up 5 weeks pregnant and that s what stage my little bud is at?? Is that correct??

 

[SeaShells]

Hi seashells,sorry your mood is down,yep u wud be five weeks,I shud be six on Thursday,the day of my scan,your hormones will be allover the place ATM,up then down,hope u feel better soon,The visit went well yesterday,couldn't believe my luck,everything was very civilised,and I was totally fine,worry over lol,

Thank you Desperado, so glad your visit went well and you can now relax xxxx

 

[Glowstar]

Mellybelle...glad your levels are great

AFM: well slept OK...woke at 3.30am...prob just because stressed...went back to bed after half hour. Got to the EPAU this morning and taken straight away for blood to be taken to check my levels, get the results on Thursday afternoon but in the meantime have to go back Thursday morning for a 2nd blood draw so they can see if the levels are rising. Not sure when I will get the results back for this but got a sneaky feeling they will make me wait until Monday
If the levels are rising normally they will then get me in for a scan.
The nurse was lovely and just explained to be prepared for a failed pregnancy but she said she was hopeful because the bleeding has stopped and I'm not in pain but I do feel like I have been doing situps
Now I just have minute amounts of pale brown discharge and only when I wipe. I suppose at the moment it's 50/50 which way this will go. I'm desperately trying not to get my hopes up but at the moment I still feel pregnant and had a VERY positive HPT this morning
I've taken the rest of the week off work as can't bare the thought of sitting at my desk and people asking me what's wrong or waiting for more bleeding to start....flip side is I am now sitting in the house obsessing
I kind of feel awful that I am making all you ladies worry about yourselves

 

[Desperado167]

Glowie,I am so angry that they are making u wait,cud they not have gave u a scan today ,the wait is gonna be torture for youWen I went to the hospital last Tuesday the nurse foned me four hours later with the results ,really gave me peace of mind, but please don't worry about us,we all want to be here for you ,glad u have no red blood and am just trying to stay really hopeful for u as I know lots of people have been thru this and baby has been ok,stay busy and pleas ask if there's anything I can do,big hug,

 

[herbie]

i cannot believe they haven"t scanned you hunni
absolutely ridiculous!!!!
all the worry isn"t good for bubs either
glad the bleedings eased but it would have been good to see babys heartbeat just for reassurrance
massive sweetie really hope all turns out ok for you

 

[Mellybelle]

I wonder if these health professionals realise what they do to our mental health when they ask us to wait days or weeks for results or scans??? Its just cruel.

Glowstar - taking the rest of the week off work is a good idea. Hope the bleeding stops completely.

 

[Desperado167]

Got my ticker,so excited,xxxxxxxx

 

[Mellybelle]

A ticker!!! Its beautiful!

 

[Glowstar]

Thanks soooooooooo much for all your support. Nice ticker Desperado!!

Well...they just phoned back with my HCG level.....and it's........15822!!!!!
She said this is VERY good and has now booked me for a scan on Monday at 8.30am. I am just praying everything is OK between then and now. Forgot to ask if I need to go back for the 2nd blood draw!!!

 

[Storm1jet2]

Thanks soooooooooo much for all your support. Nice ticker Desperado!!

Well...they just phoned back with my HCG level.....and it's........15822!!!!!
She said this is VERY good and has now booked me for a scan on Monday at 8.30am. I am just praying everything is OK between then and now. Forgot to ask if I need to go back for the 2nd blood draw!!!

Brilliant brilliant news - hoping its all ok!

 

[Macwooly]

Blood draw tpday ladies...
Last Wed hcg: 380 , Today: 3823

I'll stop worrying for a couple of day now. Then i'll go into full blown panic mode just before my scan.

So pleased for you Praying your pregnancy keeps going from strength to strength

 

[Macwooly]

Mellybelle...glad your levels are great

AFM: well slept OK...woke at 3.30am...prob just because stressed...went back to bed after half hour. Got to the EPAU this morning and taken straight away for blood to be taken to check my levels, get the results on Thursday afternoon but in the meantime have to go back Thursday morning for a 2nd blood draw so they can see if the levels are rising. Not sure when I will get the results back for this but got a sneaky feeling they will make me wait until Monday
If the levels are rising normally they will then get me in for a scan.
The nurse was lovely and just explained to be prepared for a failed pregnancy but she said she was hopeful because the bleeding has stopped and I'm not in pain but I do feel like I have been doing situps
Now I just have minute amounts of pale brown discharge and only when I wipe. I suppose at the moment it's 50/50 which way this will go. I'm desperately trying not to get my hopes up but at the moment I still feel pregnant and had a VERY positive HPT this morning
I've taken the rest of the week off work as can't bare the thought of sitting at my desk and people asking me what's wrong or waiting for more bleeding to start....flip side is I am now sitting in the house obsessing
I kind of feel awful that I am making all you ladies worry about yourselves

So sorry you are having to wait for answers

You are in my prayers that you have a strong LO and you will have a successful pregnancy

 

[Macwooly]

Thanks soooooooooo much for all your support. Nice ticker Desperado!!

Well...they just phoned back with my HCG level.....and it's........15822!!!!!
She said this is VERY good and has now booked me for a scan on Monday at 8.30am. I am just praying everything is OK between then and now. Forgot to ask if I need to go back for the 2nd blood draw!!!

Wow on the HCG level You have a tough little bean there and as said previously you will stay in my prayers