Glowstar - I really hope that it's not over for you.
Sorry all of my posts recently have been nothing but doom and gloom. Honestly, I am usually a really lively and fun person!
I now understand the meaning of the expression 'rollercoater of emotions':
Thursday appt with GP to talk through getting support for antenatal depression.
Friday - date for earlier scan. Excitement beyond compare - gonna see 'Beany'!
Saturday - find out the truth about BF - he's met someone else
Sunday - complete meltdown; BF wants to cut all ties with me and Beany. Finally tell my mum everything
Monday - no heartbeat, all indications point to pregnancy 'not viable'
My head's spinning.
Desperado how have you done this 9 times???
How do you get through this? I am so so so sad. You know when I felt particularly bad? All the other ladies came out with little pics of their Beans. I was really looking forward to that. When I had finished not only was I empty handed, but I had to sit in the waiting room while they updated my notes. During that time several other couples came out grinning clutching their grainy little pics. I could have just curled up and cried then.
Then there was the rigmarole of having to rebook because I had a scan booked for 24th June when I would have been 12.5 weeks. The sonographer said to the receptionist at the top of her voice - 'this lady needs to be rebooked for an early scan because there's no way she's almost 11 weeks'. I know she didn't mean it and perhaps I was just feeling very sensitive but it still hurt to hear it.
To top it all, I had to go through Maternity to get out (the scanning unit is behind Maternity) and it felt like every conceiveable bump, newborn, pram, car seat and toddler was staring at me as I left.
What a day - well all of the above had happened by half past ten...
