how to cope around friends that smoke

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by sazibubba, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. sazibubba

    sazibubba pregnant with 2nd bubba

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    I have a friend that smokes heavily and in her house and she doesn't understand that i cant be near it.

    I duno what to do and have been avoiding going to her house for the reason i do not wanna put my baby and myself at risk. How do i see her and not make her feel bad for smoking? i feel kinda stuck on this :( :shrug:
     
  2. Frecks

    Frecks Well-Known Member

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    Invite her to yours? Or meet somewhere neutral?xx
     
  3. sazibubba

    sazibubba pregnant with 2nd bubba

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    thats what i though :) but bf is anti social and doesn't like friends over much :S
     
  4. MegGriffin

    MegGriffin Guest

    It's a tough one isn't it, I agree with Frecks, I would say invite her over to yours or go out for dinner, that way she won't be able to smoke until she's outside. x
     
  5. Frecks

    Frecks Well-Known Member

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    Ahh that's a pain, but I'm sure he'd prefer you and lo to be safe and that, it's a tough one Hun xxx
     
  6. Lucy22

    Lucy22 Mama,Daddy & 2 Princesses

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    I have the same problem. My SIL & BIL are heavy smokers and my SIL has said behind my back that she thinks I'm snobby and pretentious because if if they smoke while I'm at their house, I leave the room till they finish.

    They also think I'm mollycoddling Elena by keeping my house a smoke free zone, and making guests sit on the patio outside if they need a fag.

    Its really annoying, I don't mean to come across that way but my baby is more important than what she thinks of me :haha:
     
  7. sazibubba

    sazibubba pregnant with 2nd bubba

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    she not a close friend just one i chat to from time to time but she always wants to meet up. i feel so guilty for avoiding her but i cant stand the fact of smoke going near me. I used to smoke ages ago and know how bad it can be :(
     
  8. sazibubba

    sazibubba pregnant with 2nd bubba

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    its like at work this guy keps smokin in the doorway and it blows in my direction coz im on reception near the door. my OH had a word with him (we work togeva) and since his closed the door. no offence to smokers but they really dont understand how non-smokers feel :( it really is bad for your health. I smoked since i was 12 due to major peer pressure :( and it gave me asthma and i kept bringin up tar and i had chest infections. thank god i gave it up 5 years ago and i would never go back.
     
  9. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    we lived with a smoker when i was pregnant with ds1 thankfully our rental aggreement ment he wasnt allowed to smoke in the house, none of my friends now basicly smoke lol and all understand that its my choice to stay away from smoking ppl and to keep my kids away from ppl smoking or who have recently smoked and they all respect that
     
  10. Nickij

    Nickij Mum of 2

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    What, how about just not wanting to have your house stink of fag smoke!!! Let alone the health implications for you and your family.

    Before my hubby gave up, he smoked outside, and not in our own house as we didn't want it to stink of smoke its gets in clothes and everything!

    Also I can totally understand why you don;t want to see in a room with people heavily smoking, I hate it when I am not pregnant - even though I used to smoke myself.
     
  11. Lozzy_Loo

    Lozzy_Loo Well-Known Member

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    ive got this problem with OH family

    they all smoke and the house is really smokey.
    I dont want our baby being in this enviroment so ive got 4 months to drop hints that she wont be coming round if their all smoking indoors. otherwise im just going to tell them straight.
    at the end of the day, our LO's havent got a voice of their own to tell them, so weve got to protect them
     
  12. sazibubba

    sazibubba pregnant with 2nd bubba

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    just found out sum of the chemicals in fags!! rat poison, weed killer, ammonia and formaldehyde used to preserve the dead :S thats only 4 out of the billions of chemicals in them! i feel sick knowing i used to smoke that!
     
  13. babyhopes2010

    babyhopes2010 one boy one girl.perfect!

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    Im very blunt! im an ex smoker and id have never spoke infront of children or pregnant ladies.

    I tell them sorry i dont see why my baby should have to smoke before its even born!
     
  14. Gnomer

    Gnomer Expecting number 2!

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    I gacve up when i found out I was expecting LO. So i find it really hard to be around smokers, not just because of the health issues, but my craving issues and gag reflex!
    Ask them politely, and if they refuse to move, then leave. I've just been flat out refusing to go to smoking homes. The smell just gets me as soon as i walk in! Instead, I have my friends at mine, or we go shopping or for lunch.

    I'm not promoting smoking, BUT, there is only 4 thousand chemicals in a cigarette, not a billion. But yeah, lots and lots of horrible stuff in them!
    Sulfuric acid, acetone and cyanide too! EUGH!
     
  15. Lara310809

    Lara310809 Mum of 3 girls

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    There is absolutely no reason you should have to breathe in her smoke. She cannot be unaware of the risks of her smoking on other people; she's being ignorant. I would avoid going to her house, but perhaps invite her to yours, and insist that she smokes outside. or invite her out somewhere, and ask that she smokes away from you if she wants to smoke. You have to assert yourself; there's no two ways about it. It's your health and your baby's health.
     
  16. lilbeanfolk

    lilbeanfolk Well-Known Member

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    Where are you living?? Just curious because I live in California, USA and smoking is such a no no. It has been for years, so it's shocking to hear people not being curtious in your own home about your rules on smoking. I know they are relatives but too bad, you don't like it don't come over huh?? There are so many studies on smoking and SECOND HAND SMOKE and the correlation to children and asthma and upper resp infections!! I mean come on, it's something preventable, of all the things we can do for ourselves and our kids, there are so many things we can't control but this you can. I say stick to your guns and keep the smoke as far away as possible, plus it just makes your clothes and house stink! Sorry... soapbox... can you tell I'm an Oncology nurse and just sick of seeing people come in with lung cancer and emphysema and still want to smoke??? It's funny, at my work (it's a hospital mind) there are signs everywhere of the one place you can smoke, and you have to stay I think it's 20ft from any entrace to the facility, if someone is close and smoking people will call security!! So please don't feel bad about enforcing the "no smoking in my home" rule. :hugs:
     
  17. laughingduck

    laughingduck Mother of one daughter

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    I live in Canada and it's the same here. Nobody would dare even ask to smoke indoors at my house! I am an ex-smoker too, and even when I smoked I smoked outside and I even hated second-hand smoke at restaurants etc (smoking is now banned in all restaurants but it wasn't 10 years ago). I'd just stick to your guns and let the others think what they may (it's usually no use trying to explain common sense to these types of people).
     

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