I worry I will shake the baby

[Dopeyjopey]

Hey a baby can change things, my friends wife is a nutter and has attempted to take her life a few times, she had depression and then got pregnant.
I thought it was a bad idea but once the baby was born she had a complete turn around. My friends baby is 3 years old and it completely changed her. Perhaps it may happen to you too.

This happened to me too. Having a baby completely chilled me out! I'm sure you'll be ok x

 

[Faerie]

I think you can see from all these posts that you're not alone! Therefore, if you were to mention it to your midwife or Dr I'm sure it's something they've heard and helped with a 1000 times before.

I know that I totally over react and let things wind me up when I'm pregnant that normally I wouldn't even notice. I have found myself shaking with rage recently for the most stupid things. Luckily for my DH he hasn't been the cause... much

 

[SIEGAL]

It is interesting that people mentioned ante-natal depression. Before I was pregnant I just started anti-depressents but not for depression for severe anxierty issues (evidently anti-depressents do both). I also would have a xanax or a drink to calm my nerves. Since getting pregnant I have not taken anything. Perhaps this is all stemming from anxiety?? I am worried I will hurt the baby the same way I am worried I will have a stroke in my sleep and not wake up (no reason to think I will I just worry). I wonder if the pregnancy has made my anxiety alot worse. I think our fighting may stem from it. I dont want to watch certain things on TV b/c they scare me (medical shows, things were people die); now that I think of alot of things we fight about are due to my anxiety. Maybe after the baby is born and I can get on some anti-axiety medication I will feel better.
P.S. I didn't know you can put the baby down and walk away!!! I know that sounds silly, but I thought that was a no-no

 

[moomin_troll]

aslong as the baby is in a safe place its advised u leave lo to calm down as crying doesnt hurt them.

my anti natal depression was all because of my unstable life and seeing my mum struggle plus my nan dying the yr before all combined and cause my depression so its a safe bet that ur previous problems are apart of whats going on with u now.

i was told if it is anti natal depression they try not to give meds and do things like counciling which would of really helped me if i had stuck to it, which im so mad that i didnt so id advise talking to ur doc n then go from there

 

[venusrockstar]

I think you would benefit from an anger management course.

Also, when I find my patience is wearing thin, I put the baby in her crib and go downstairs for 5-10 min just to collect myself before I go deal with the situation again.

 

[Celesse]

If you where in the UK I would suggest accessing anger management through your midwife or GP. I think you need to talk to your health care provider and find an appropriate source of counselling whilst your pregnant. Be honest with professionals about how you are feeling so they can help you.

 

[SAmummy]

well done for being so honest . Get some advice form a medical professional. I'm sure that will put your worries at ease.

 

[Kitty23]

Ok this worries me. If your temper is that bad,maybe you should of got some help before deciding to have a baby

God why are you so bloody mean to people?? Have you got low self esteem yourself and to make yourself feel better you put down all the other mothers on here! You made me feel like absoloute shit on another thread! If you really cant think of anything constructive to say don't reply to the thread!!

Anyway to the OP don't worry, pregnancy is crappy and you do get angry lol, I was so full of emotions. I don't think you'll need anger managment if this is just because of hormones and believe me when the baby is here your patience with him/her will be endless lol! good luck xxx

 

[cherryglitter]

Just wanted to send some hugs!!

Jake had colic and there were times that I 'felt' like I could do something I would've really regretted. Just walk away, it's the best thing you can do.

Everytime afterwards when Jake had calmed down I felt so guilty. It's just one of those things. It's very frustrating having this new little person you need to get to know - they need to get to know you too!

Just try and remember they've been in your tummy for 9 months. They've never felt hunger before, never even had to breathe air! I always try and think how scary that would be for me if I had to go through all of that.

Im sure things will be fine hun, the fact that you're even worrying about these feelings now and that you're aware of them, is a really good sign.

You'll be an excellent mummy im sure. Just let your midwife now just so they are aware of things. I have PND and I wish i'd told the HV about how I was feeling sooner. They've been nothing but brilliant with me.

Take care. xx

 

[Dopeyjopey]

Ok this worries me. If your temper is that bad,maybe you should of got some help before deciding to have a baby

God why are you so bloody mean to people?? Have you got low self esteem yourself and to make yourself feel better you put down all the other mothers on here! You made me feel like absoloute shit on another thread! If you really cant think of anything constructive to say don't reply to the thread!!

Anyway to the OP don't worry, pregnancy is crappy and you do get angry lol, I was so full of emotions. I don't think you'll need anger managment if this is just because of hormones and believe me when the baby is here your patience with him/her will be endless lol! good luck xxx

 

[clara123]

I'm surprised babybump hasn't retaliated or defended herself. If you feel bad babybump you could say sorry I'm sure the poster would appreciate it.

 

[Jody R]

Sometimes people imagine the bad things that could happen or that they might do as a way to protect themselves and stop the thing from becoming reality.

I read an article in a magazine where a woman said she was holding her baby up to the window to watch the snow fall and started to imagine what would happen if she lost her grip and the baby fell, even though the window was closed.

She felt terrible because she thought something was wrong with her for imagining such things but a psychologist said it was a natural way of trying to stop the event happening. A kind of superstition, imagine the worst thing that could happen and by thinking of it you are prepared for it and can stop it happening.

Some people do find it very hard to cope with a baby who cries for hours on end but honestly when it's your baby and you love it you find you have patience reserves you never suspected. I don't mean that you turn into a saint and nothing bothers you but you do cope. And if you truly do need to get away for a minute either pass the baby to somebody else or place it safely in it's cot or pram and go into another room for a short break.

As long as your baby is safe while you do it taking a minute or two away so you can calm yourself down can help you.

But if you are worried, as others have said, talk your fears out with someone you trust.

 

[Jody R]

Ok this worries me. If your temper is that bad,maybe you should of got some help before deciding to have a baby

That was a little uncalled for and not helpful at all.

The OP is looking for advice not judgement.

I think what aliss said makes alot of sense. Perhaps that dvd is something you should look into? I'd also speak with someone about it and get it sorted before bubs arrives. You have a bit of time yet to try and help things

ETA: as a side note is this just a recent thing? If so it could just be your hormones? Id have launched my OH out the window when I was pregnant if I could have lifted him!

Its more recent, maybe sicne I been pregnant. But I feel like its not my hormones but its him?? he has this obsession that I am trying to control him. Like today I asked him to change the channel (a 9/11 documentary was on) when they showed the people jumping out of the tower b/c I just found it too sad (I am a native NYer) and he went crazy saying how I have to control everying including the TV. I just went ballistic! so it might be hormones but I think he just aggravtes me.

I threw the remote control at my DH when I was first pregnant with Joseph. I've never thrown anything at him before but hormones got me. I was starving, trying to eat my dinner and he kept asking me to change the channel ("not this one, try channel four...no I've seen it, put DAVE on...no I've seen it, change it to this one...no, I don't like this, try..." ).

I just got so stressed and hungry I threw it at him quite violently.

Your OH should have been a bit more understanding. I couldn't watch that documentary while I was pregnant, everything made me cry, let alone without having a personal connection to such an epic and tragic event.

 

[SKATERBUN]

omg people overreact sooo much! by all means get anger management, but it's not really needed hun! xx

I agree. I was actually hormonally better while I was pregnant.
Since having LO my PMT has returned with a vengence.
I got really annoyed at DH the otherday for playing xbox too much and threw his controller across the room, have also thrown stuff directly at DH but nothing too hard . Its not the first time ive threw stuff at DH in a rage. I would never in a zillion years physically harm either DH or LO though.
I think its a maternal instict to protect your LO. I cant even bare to raise my voice at LO I would feel too bad and irresponsible.

If you did feel emotionally out of control with LO I would have a chat with your GP and they can arrange for a counsellor. Or maybe they could suggest something for your hormones if its that. I dont think you are a bad person for posting this comment and its really horrid some people just jump on you and say nasty things.

 

[Kitty23]

Ok this worries me. If your temper is that bad,maybe you should of got some help before deciding to have a baby

God why are you so bloody mean to people?? Have you got low self esteem yourself and to make yourself feel better you put down all the other mothers on here! You made me feel like absoloute shit on another thread! If you really cant think of anything constructive to say don't reply to the thread!!

Anyway to the OP don't worry, pregnancy is crappy and you do get angry lol, I was so full of emotions. I don't think you'll need anger managment if this is just because of hormones and believe me when the baby is here your patience with him/her will be endless lol! good luck xxx

Thanks I must say your lo is just adorable! xxx

 

[Dopeyjopey]

Aw thank you i think so too, but then i am biased

Your two are gorgeous, and i have major respect for you, i find one hard enough at times!

 

[PrayinForBaby]

Sometimes people imagine the bad things that could happen or that they might do as a way to protect themselves and stop the thing from becoming reality.

I read an article in a magazine where a woman said she was holding her baby up to the window to watch the snow fall and started to imagine what would happen if she lost her grip and the baby fell, even though the window was closed.

She felt terrible because she thought something was wrong with her for imagining such things but a psychologist said it was a natural way of trying to stop the event happening. A kind of superstition, imagine the worst thing that could happen and by thinking of it you are prepared for it and can stop it happening.

Some people do find it very hard to cope with a baby who cries for hours on end but honestly when it's your baby and you love it you find you have patience reserves you never suspected. I don't mean that you turn into a saint and nothing bothers you but you do cope. And if you truly do need to get away for a minute either pass the baby to somebody else or place it safely in it's cot or pram and go into another room for a short break.

As long as your baby is safe while you do it taking a minute or two away so you can calm yourself down can help you.

But if you are worried, as others have said, talk your fears out with someone you trust.

thats scary...when I was pregnant I always had a recurrent nightmare that someone came into my house and took Haley and tossed her off the bridge! it would wake me up in a state of panic and I would have contractions for hours afterwards!!

 

[Blue_bumpkin]

Sometimes people imagine the bad things that could happen or that they might do as a way to protect themselves and stop the thing from becoming reality.

I read an article in a magazine where a woman said she was holding her baby up to the window to watch the snow fall and started to imagine what would happen if she lost her grip and the baby fell, even though the window was closed.

She felt terrible because she thought something was wrong with her for imagining such things but a psychologist said it was a natural way of trying to stop the event happening. A kind of superstition, imagine the worst thing that could happen and by thinking of it you are prepared for it and can stop it happening.

Some people do find it very hard to cope with a baby who cries for hours on end but honestly when it's your baby and you love it you find you have patience reserves you never suspected. I don't mean that you turn into a saint and nothing bothers you but you do cope. And if you truly do need to get away for a minute either pass the baby to somebody else or place it safely in it's cot or pram and go into another room for a short break.

As long as your baby is safe while you do it taking a minute or two away so you can calm yourself down can help you.

But if you are worried, as others have said, talk your fears out with someone you trust.

thats scary...when I was pregnant I always had a recurrent nightmare that someone came into my house and took Haley and tossed her off the bridge! it would wake me up in a state of panic and I would have contractions for hours afterwards!!

i just clicked on your spoiler - cutie alert!

Also I love the quote at the bottom of you're siggy

Sorry a bit off topic

 

[PrayinForBaby]

Sometimes people imagine the bad things that could happen or that they might do as a way to protect themselves and stop the thing from becoming reality.

I read an article in a magazine where a woman said she was holding her baby up to the window to watch the snow fall and started to imagine what would happen if she lost her grip and the baby fell, even though the window was closed.

She felt terrible because she thought something was wrong with her for imagining such things but a psychologist said it was a natural way of trying to stop the event happening. A kind of superstition, imagine the worst thing that could happen and by thinking of it you are prepared for it and can stop it happening.

Some people do find it very hard to cope with a baby who cries for hours on end but honestly when it's your baby and you love it you find you have patience reserves you never suspected. I don't mean that you turn into a saint and nothing bothers you but you do cope. And if you truly do need to get away for a minute either pass the baby to somebody else or place it safely in it's cot or pram and go into another room for a short break.

As long as your baby is safe while you do it taking a minute or two away so you can calm yourself down can help you.

But if you are worried, as others have said, talk your fears out with someone you trust.

thats scary...when I was pregnant I always had a recurrent nightmare that someone came into my house and took Haley and tossed her off the bridge! it would wake me up in a state of panic and I would have contractions for hours afterwards!!

i just clicked on your spoiler - cutie alert!

Also I love the quote at the bottom of you're siggy

Sorry a bit off topic

aww, thanks! I change my spoiler periodically..it'll probably be a few more days and a new pic will be there. And I read that quote somewhere when I was still pregnant and of course once I saw my baby thats all I could think about!

 

[Eve]

My OH pisses me off to the point of wanting to smack him without being pregnant... and well, when pregnant or going through PMS I could have killed him sometimes! I'm fine with my LO but hormones, and having an OH who likes to annoy me on purpose makes me want to kick his ass!
Like other ladies have said, if you do end up feeling really angry etc... put LO down in their crib/cot/bassinet and walk away. I had to put my son down for a few minutes once as he was very colicky (sp...?) and I was crying so hard I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't angry with him or anything but I was totally out of options!

All parents make mistakes but most don't forget their LO's anywhere, so I wouldn't worry about that hun Also unless you are starving yourself breastfeeding is fine. Your milk will be made well even when you are malnourished as it becomes priority over you. Not sure if I worded that well, but I hope you get what I mean

I would talk to your doctor though as you were going through anxiety before pregnancy and haven't been on medications etc... plus they may have more incouraging words for you as well, since I'm sure they have heard it before

Good luck hun, remember, don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it and as long as LO is safe in their bed, leaving them a few minutes while you collect yourself isn't a no no