I worry I will shake the baby

[nada87]

i havent read all of the previous posts so i dont know whats been said but i used to throw things and such all of the time. i've been known to throw dishes though not fruit. i also used to fear taking my feelings out on the baby (when pg with my 1st) and while i did suffer from mild pnd i never did hurt my daughter. more than once i had to put her down and walk away but i made it through and went on to have 2 more babies.
as for the dieting, i dont think dieting can make your bm less nutrious i think it is more of a concern that dieting can effect your supply. i could be wrong about that though.

 

[Kitty23]

Aw thank you i think so too, but then i am biased

Your two are gorgeous, and i have major respect for you, i find one hard enough at times!

Aww thank you Lol its hard but completely worth it! Plus dh and my mum help out alot xxx

 

[poppykat]

Big hugs to you.

I think it is great you are realising there is a problem and seeking help to sort it out.

Pregnacy made me a completely crazy person! My poor OH could not say or do anything without me being awful to him. I was a bitch. I remember throwing a cushion at him on more than one occasion

I can still have a good row now with OH and I suppose that is how i take my frustration out now (I do feel sorry for him sometimes!) Even when Chloe really tests me, normally screaming at 4am in the morning! I would NEVER take my anger or frustration out on her, and I am sure you will be the same. Even if it means walking away and letting her cry for a few minutes to calm down. You will love your baby so much and just want to protect them.

Pregnancy is so hard so just try and go with it and I am sure when you have your beautiful baby in your arms you will start to feel better xx

 

[SIEGAL]

Big hugs to you.

I think it is great you are realising there is a problem and seeking help to sort it out.

Pregnacy made me a completely crazy person! My poor OH could not say or do anything without me being awful to him. I was a bitch. I remember throwing a cushion at him on more than one occasion

I can still have a good row now with OH and I suppose that is how i take my frustration out now (I do feel sorry for him sometimes!) Even when Chloe really tests me, normally screaming at 4am in the morning! I would NEVER take my anger or frustration out on her, and I am sure you will be the same. Even if it means walking away and letting her cry for a few minutes to calm down. You will love your baby so much and just want to protect them.

Pregnancy is so hard so just try and go with it and I am sure when you have your beautiful baby in your arms you will start to feel better xx

thanks, and thanks everone. i just went to dr. yesterday and found out I am having a little girl! I am so excited and love her so much already. The dr. found some very minor problems and I was just balling (but I think everything is fine). I think its just nerves. I am not going to leave my baby in the car; I am not going to forget to feed her, and I am not going to get frustrated and hurt her. Just all nerves......Like a lot of you said.

 

[twinklestar]

congrats on your little princess!!!! how exciting

your going to do a fab job hun, im sure of it we all have wobbly moments

x x

 

[jodiex]

Ok this worries me. If your temper is that bad,maybe you should of got some help before deciding to have a baby

that was not helpful at all!


i would speak to someone hun, when i was pregnant i was mad, its just hormones playing havoc. its scary at frist speaking to someone but its much better in the long run. hth. xx

 

[Kaitybug]

I don't think you will ever shake your baby. You mentioned other fears your suffer from that bother you, and it sure sounds like you suffer from a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Not the cleaning, hoarding, counting part (that's the compulsions), but the Obsessive Bad Thoughts part. I only say this because I have been struggling with it myself. I have always had O.C.D., but during pregnancy I started having terrible thoughts of harming others that I couldn't get out of my head, night or day. They were ridiculous things that I had never even thought about before! People who suffer from Obsessive Bad Thoughts NEVER carry out their obsessions, if they truly have this form of OCD. The reason they, and maybe you, have the thoughts is they can think of no worse thing than the thought they are having, and it bothers them so much because it is so unlike them. I had never had the obsessive thoughts until I was pregnant, and I believe the pregnancy hormones exacerbated the problem, and I haven't (cross my fingers) had those bad thought since my baby was born.
You can speak to your doctor about what you are thinking; they won't think you are crazy. MANY people, especially pregnant women and mothers, have gone through the same thing. They can prescribe anti-anxiety medication that will help. I bought a book called, "The Imp of the Mind" about Obsessive Thoughts that I would read to help me calm down. I put the link below. Let me know if you need anything!
If you aren't convinced that you have this, you could look around at some OCD sites and look under "Obsessive Bad Thoughts." If you find your fears are stuck in your head all the time and they won't go away no matter what you do or tell yourself, there's a good chance the cause is anxiety. I don't think most people actually think about shaking their baby before hand, it happens in the heat of the moment, and so I think it is just an irrational fear for you.
https://www.amazon.com/Imp-Mind-Exploring-Epidemic-Obsessive/dp/0452283078/ref=pd_sim_b_1

 

[SIEGAL]

I don't think you will ever shake your baby. You mentioned other fears your suffer from that bother you, and it sure sounds like you suffer from a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Not the cleaning, hoarding, counting part (that's the compulsions), but the Obsessive Bad Thoughts part. I only say this because I have been struggling with it myself. I have always had O.C.D., but during pregnancy I started having terrible thoughts of harming others that I couldn't get out of my head, night or day. They were ridiculous things that I had never even thought about before! People who suffer from Obsessive Bad Thoughts NEVER carry out their obsessions, if they truly have this form of OCD. The reason they, and maybe you, have the thoughts is they can think of no worse thing than the thought they are having, and it bothers them so much because it is so unlike them. I had never had the obsessive thoughts until I was pregnant, and I believe the pregnancy hormones exacerbated the problem, and I haven't (cross my fingers) had those bad thought since my baby was born.
You can speak to your doctor about what you are thinking; they won't think you are crazy. MANY people, especially pregnant women and mothers, have gone through the same thing. They can prescribe anti-anxiety medication that will help. I bought a book called, "The Imp of the Mind" about Obsessive Thoughts that I would read to help me calm down. I put the link below. Let me know if you need anything!
If you aren't convinced that you have this, you could look around at some OCD sites and look under "Obsessive Bad Thoughts." If you find your fears are stuck in your head all the time and they won't go away no matter what you do or tell yourself, there's a good chance the cause is anxiety. I don't think most people actually think about shaking their baby before hand, it happens in the heat of the moment, and so I think it is just an irrational fear for you.
https://www.amazon.com/Imp-Mind-Exploring-Epidemic-Obsessive/dp/0452283078/ref=pd_sim_b_1

I was seeing a therapist (but she was 200 per hour and my insurance doesnt cover it) but had to stop. She never diagnosed OCD but I didn't see her more than 5 or 6 times. She did agree with my anxiety disorder thing. Now that you mention it, I could worry for hours I left the stove on (but unless I am not out the dorr yet I wont check) and the apt building will burn down, and things I mentioned before, like my giant breasts suffocating the baby, forgetting it in the car, etc

P.S. thank you, this was a very reassuring comment. B/c I don't really think I have time for anger managment and now that I really think about it I think its pregnancy hormones (As others have mentioned)

 

[aliss]

^ All I can say is just to keep mindful, remember it is ok to leave the room with t he baby crying in the crib (we've all done it), take deep breaths, swaddle baby in a stroller or put baby in a sling and go for a walk outside (who cares if baby is screaming, get outside and get some sun, it does a lot of good), and most of all, it's ok to ask for help

 

[MrsGlitz]

I haven't read all of the replies yet but I will confess that during pregnancy I was a witch to my DH. I hit him (more than once) and am eternally grateful that he put up with me; leta face it, if he'd hit me I wouldn't be with him now! I didn't hurt him but that's not the point.

I have mellowed since Harry was born and have endless patience. Yes I have had to lay him in his cot screaming (colic or teething) to have a few minutes to regroup but I can honestly say I haven't once felt like hurting him. Nor DH!

 

[iceylou]

i freaked out many times during my pregnancy, was much calmer on my first. never threw anything at dh but by god did i feel like it, there was never anything around to throw lol.

much calmer after lo was born even though she spent the 1st 2 wks screaming the place down due to reflux. i got help from family and was amazed that even my sis feeding her while i had something to eat or have a shower calmed me down. my niece is the only one who could calm her down but i think that was due to her perfume knocking my lo out lol.

talk about your anger to ppl, i was very angry (still am sometimes) a few yrs ago, went to a counciller which did help, was also obsessed with cleaning and what other ppl would say. out of everything the counciller said, 1 thing always comes to mind, "will the dirt scream at u if its not cleaned, will ur husband leave u if its not clean or u dont have washing done, dinner cooked etc", i said no and he relied there is ur answer.

pm me if u want at any time.

 

[smokey]

I used to worry id leave LO somewhere.
Believe me they dont let you forget to feed them and once yourt little girl is here you wont let her out of your sight long enough to leave or forget her

 

[sb786]

OMG! i can relate. Please don't judge me but I have a very vey short fuse at times and it got worse after i lost my first baby. Something inside me snapped and i ended up such a bitter angry person. Arguing, throwing things breaking my hubby's phone, satnav...the list goes on and on. When i am calmer i always realise it is 99% my fault and i just blow things out of proportion. My poor hubby must love me alot to put up with me because if the tables were turned i would've walked out a long time ago.
I am pleased to say though that since my LO was born i have NEVER argued infront of her or ever lost my temper with her and she can be very very difficult at times. I think it is because when i am angry i am not the type to hurt myself so would never hurt my LO as she is a part of me. Don't know if that makes any sense? I still have days where i feel i could kill someone but never have i blown a fuse infront of my baby or hurt her. in fact when i am with her she calms me down and makes me bit more sane!

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Only just seen this hun hope your ok. I am sure when Lo comes you won't shake them.
If you ever feel your patience wearing thin (it happens to the best of us) just put baby down compose your self and go back. You will be fine
Xx

 

[SIEGAL]

OMG! i can relate. Please don't judge me but I have a very vey short fuse at times and it got worse after i lost my first baby. Something inside me snapped and i ended up such a bitter angry person. Arguing, throwing things breaking my hubby's phone, satnav...the list goes on and on. When i am calmer i always realise it is 99% my fault and i just blow things out of proportion. My poor hubby must love me alot to put up with me because if the tables were turned i would've walked out a long time ago.
I am pleased to say though that since my LO was born i have NEVER argued infront of her or ever lost my temper with her and she can be very very difficult at times. I think it is because when i am angry i am not the type to hurt myself so would never hurt my LO as she is a part of me. Don't know if that makes any sense? I still have days where i feel i could kill someone but never have i blown a fuse infront of my baby or hurt her. in fact when i am with her she calms me down and makes me bit more sane!

I don't judge, especially since almost nobody judged me on this post. A few other people said it besides you but I have been noticing a theme that other women can fight with their spouse, pretty nastily too, and never ever get so aggravated with their baby that they even think of hurting them. Spouse and baby are two different things!

 

[claire23]

If you start in future getting aggravated with the baby, the best thing would be to leave the baby for a couple of minutes in the cot (even if he/she is hysterical), go to another room and get calm. Just think that he is trying to tell you something isn't right Mummy. Also I've read that getting angry/ aggravated/ smacking a child from an early age will teach him to do this in future as he perceives this as the norm to deal with his own frustrations. It's also best if you keep calm throughout the pregnancy, as the baby can feel you are upset. If you are happy and calm - the baby is happy and calm. Good luck hun, I am sure you will be a good mummy. xx

 

[mrsthomas623]

I don't judge, especially since almost nobody judged me on this post. A few other people said it besides you but I have been noticing a theme that other women can fight with their spouse, pretty nastily too, and never ever get so aggravated with their baby that they even think of hurting them. Spouse and baby are two different things!

You have no idea! ha. I love my husband but it is NOTHING compared to the way I feel about Nolan. He is my heart! I did not know I could love so deeply and selflessly. You will love being a mom!!

 

[flower01]

come on ladies, we have all been there, needing to desperately get 10 mins away cos baby wont stop crying or has just spat the only mouthful of food they ate at you!!!!

I was the most impatient person ever, but by time Willow arrived I was a lot better as id had to wait 9 months! lol!!

Id say maybe have a chat with someone about it but dont be made to feel like your a nasty person by peoples comments. Your not!!

xxxx

 

[special_kala]

Ive had to put River down and walk away a few times as honestly all i wanted to do was poke her in the bloody eye! Im sure we all feel like this at some point especially when our LO's are new.

When i was pregnant i was very angry and remember a few times where i threw all my husbands clothes down the stairs because he had made a mess or calling him at work in tears because no matter what i did the house was a mess (i had pretty intense nesting)

When you baby is here it will be hard and sometimes overwhelming but it is very very unlikely you will ever hurt your baby no matter how angry you feel

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

(((BIG HUGS))) to you, well done for being brave enough to come and seek advice before your baby is even born. I think you're very sensible and clearly very caring because you've asked for help BEFORE it's even an issue. Personally I don't think it is even an issue and you'll be fine I must confess right now my patience is been severely tested because my LO is teething, weaning and I'm having a much much harder first tri this time round and I feel crappy and emotional all the time. There have been quite a few times recently where I've had to walk away for five minutes because I just get so frustrated. The crying at the moment is really grating, the ferocious squirming when I'm holding him gets on my nerves because I feel so sick and I have hardly any energy. It's hard going but I think you're really remarkable in being able to come and get advice. Congratulations on your lil princess by the way xx