January 2020 Garnets

[Literati_Love]

Red head - You have absolutely NOT failed him at all! Please do not allow yourself to think this! It is not your fault he got sick, and subjecting him to the time at the hospital was for his benefit so he would get better! Hugs! So sorry things have been rough for you, but I hope you can all settle in now and that there will be no more health problems!

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Red, I felt that way with Nora. Thinking of all they did to her...I felt terrible. How could I let them do that?! It is part of my post partum depression. Do you all get checked for that there?

Example:
They told me she needed surfactant to inflate her lungs. They neglected to tell me HOW it's done. I didnt find out for about a week or so. They knock her out, shove a tube down her, insert medicine, roll her side to side, xray her while doing all that, and then take the tube out and wake her. Takes an hour and they MAY have to repeat it if it doesnt work. That was during all her pokes, jabs, tests, etc they repeat over and over. Looking back, it saved her life but I do think I would have liked to have had a say so or a second opinion. Something to feel like I could fix her or make her feel safe.

 

[red_head]

OnErth I’m not really sure if they check for it. I was crying every time I looked at him as I felt so guilty but it’s easing as I feel he is doing okay. I still get so upset when he cries though even if it’s just because he’s having his nappy changed, as I worry we’ve done something that is actually making him hurt, rather than him just not liking it. The surfactant sounds horrific I know it’s necessary but they are such tiny little things to have been through so much, it’s heartbreaking xx

 

[Bumblebeee]

Sorry Red, I wasn't aware that you had had your baby yet, congratulations! My boy had hypoglycemia and jaundice so he had to have lots of heel pricks and blood tests and he had to have phototherapy and I found all of that horrific and it really upset me, let alone what you've had to experience. Be kind to yourself, with the lack of sleep and hormones on top of what you're going through your bound to have a few bad days, you're doing your absolute best and getting the best help for your baby's health x

 

[red_head]

I’m sorry your little boy wasn’t well either. It’s very difficult. Thank you xx

 

[ashley2pink]

What happened Red if you don’t mind I ask? Congrats on your baby boy. I’m glad he is doing better.
Literati I also have baby blues. Sorry you have it too. I hate this way it makes me feel. Everything just feels so much more of a big deal or stressful than it should. Like with violets tongue the procedure I felt an immense amount of stress and anxiety after doing it and In my mind it felt like everything was ruined and it wouldn’t get better. I couldn’t stop crying. But the next day she didn’t seem to be in pain anymore. But her latch still sucks. At least she is trying but it takes so many tries to get her on. She doesn’t seem to know where her tongue goes anymore. They said it’s normal and she will figure it out soon? I hope so. Middle of the night feedings are the worst. It takes so long to latch her and I just want to scream. All the while she is hungry and frustrated that she can’t latch on. There are some nursing sessions where she latches first try though.
literati- I feel like that too with my husband. He took an entire 5 weeks off of work but I felt like I was mostly alone taking care of violet because he was too busy working his home orders and setting up times To buy dirt bikes and things like that. He likes to find good deals on them and fix them then turn them around for a quick profit. But I felt like everything else was higher priority than helping me with the baby. He doesn’t understand how rough the pp period is. Not just exhausting and physically healing but the mental aspect with our hormones all out of whack. Now he is back at work and I get less help, Thankfully things are slowly getting easier.
I won’t feel normal until about 4 months pp. that’s how I was with my other kids at least.

Oh and I’m still bleeding red. I thought it was fine until I googled it. Since I was 6 weeks pp yesterday I decided to look it up since it seemed a long time to still be bleeding. Everything says red bleeding is not normal at this point. I actually stopped red bleeding normally at first and just had the pink/orange discharge until about 3.5- 4 weeks pp. then suddenly I started bleeding red again. Not heavy, but more than spotting. And I have had that bleeding since then. I don’t know what it causing it. I haven’t even made my 6 week pp appointment yet but I’m going to tomorrow.

 

[ashley2pink]

Had my postpartum check up. The Dr at first wasn’t too worried that I was still bleeding. But then he couldn’t do a Pap smear because there was so much blood. He said that was too much to be normal at this point so he wants to make sure there isn’t placenta left behind. He said it’s rare for placenta to get left behind with a c-section. So now I’m waiting for the hospital to call me so I can get an ultrasound Ugh. I hope it’s not that and it just goes away on it’s own!

 

[Literati_Love]

Ashley - I am so sorry that your husband wasn’t nearly as helpful as you wanted during his time off. That must have been extremely frustrating. I don’t know why some husbands like to treat the time off to help with baby as a time to get their work or hobbies done. My DH was the same with our other babies as well. He didn’t have to work with the other but, but he squandered our time buying/selling vehicles and crossing things off of his to-do list. I’m sorry you felt you were mostly on your own taking care of Violet the whole time. (By the way, my dd2’s name is Violet as well. )
You are so right that husbands do not understand what a huge thing it is to heal from birth - especially the mental/emotional aspect. It is so hard to deal with the roller coaster of emotions that come after birth, and we really need a lot of support. Then our bodies are healing from a traumatic event, we are feeding a child with our own bodies, giving up sleep and our own physical needs, and we are trying to adjust to a life with more kids. It is a huge deal and they should be way more supportive.


I am sorry to hear that you’ve also had a hard time with the baby blues. Hugs. It’s so rough. The first 10-11 days were the worst for me, but even now I’m definitely emotional and having a hard time. I agree about not feeling normal until 4 months. I remember that being the time that I felt like myself again after dd1. After dd2, I unfortunately suffered from pretty bad depression until she was about 9 months. However, 4 months was still when I felt more up to getting out and doing more around the house. I hope that maybe you feel a bit more like yourself even before the 4 month mark.

I’m sorry you’re still having bright red bleeding. How did the ultrasound go? I hope you didn’t have retained placenta. I know my sister had excessive bleeding for months after having a c-section (probably unrelated to the c-section) and it ended up that her lining was just out of whack and they had to give her some hormonal pill for a week and then it got better. I hope they can sort out why you’re having so much bleeding.

By the way, thanks so much for your reply. I know I took a while to reply, but I appreciated reading about your experience so much and knowing that I wasn’t alone.

 

[Fit_Mama2Be]

Hi everyone, sorry I have been MIA. Sorry to hear your babies weren't well Red and Bumblebeee, that is so heartbreaking especially when they're so little.

I understand about the baby blues Literati and Ashley. I have some days where I feel like I'm rocking it and then others where I feel like I'm failing at life. Zachary is 4 weeks today(!) and I'm just starting to feel comfortable with the fact that I have 2 kids now, if that makes sense.

We had our 4 week appointment today and my little piglet has put on 12.5 ounces in 6 days haha. Like my older son he has to be topped up with formula or he doesn't gain. Thankfully it hasn't been the struggle it was the first time around because now we know exactly what needs to be done whereas with DS #1 we were just lost and had to try a whole bunch of things that didn't work before we found something that did.

 

[ashley2pink]

I haven’t had the ultrasound yet. My bleeding suddenly stopped. It’s weird, and I’m not for sure that I’m done bleeding since this happened a couple other times. Where I would have some days of very little spotting and then suddenly it would pick up pretty heavy again. But for now I’m just watching it. If it starts back up then I will get it scheduled. I’m hoping that’s all it is Literati. The OB did mention something about a progesterone pill to get the bleeding to stop. But I’m guessing that’s if everything looks good otherwise and there isn’t really any reason for the bleeding. If it does start back up I’m hoping it will end up just being nothing and the progesterone takes care of it.
Anyone have a baby sensitive to chocolate? I’m not sure this is the reason, but violet will seem like she has bad stomach pains and just cry and cry. I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate the last couple days. I’ve eaten it other times too though so I’m not sure. It’s normally pretty easy to calm her down but not yesterday and today. And she would do this thing like she is straining to poo. Could she be constipated? She has poo in pretty much every diaper change though.
Literati, that’s funny you have a violet too. The name isn’t very common at all.

 

[Literati_Love]

Fit Mama - that makes sense that you’re just getting comfortable with having 2 kids now. It takes a while. It’s weird hearing how old everyone’s babies are since I was the second-last to have mine! Aubrey is 3 weeks old now. That is great that Zachary is gaining weight well and that it hasn’t quite been the struggle it was with your first since you knew what to do this time!

Ashley - That’s great you stopped bleeding! Hopefully you don’t have any more issues. The chocolate thing definitely could be a coincidence. If you’re really concerned, you could keep a food diary for a few days and see if it relates to the gassiness. Aubrey was quite gassy for a few days but that seems to have settled and she just seems to have a normal amount of spit-up and gas now.

AFM - I am finding that I’m a zombie these days. The sleep deprivation is hitting me harder than with the first two. With dd1 I could sleep whenever I wanted, and I think even with dd2 it was easier. Now a LOT of things have to work out for me to be able to have a nap. Aubrey is also still unsettled until midnight. I have tried going to bed earlier, but then when she wakes up for the midnight fussiness, I actually find it even harder. It’s easier just to stay awake until after it’s over. Aubrey is definitely getting bigger and growing out of her newborn clothes, although her 0-3 month stuff is still huge. She’s so sweet to have around, but I find that I’m so tired that my days are a blur and I don’t have the mental energy to process anything or really enjoy life. Anyone feeling the same? Hope you’re all doing well.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Nora also graduated to her 0-3 clothes last week.

Yes lack of sleep is hitting me extra hard. Every 2 hours...ugh. it is also easier to just stay up.

 

[Literati_Love]

Glad (but sorry!) to hear you can relate! I hope we start getting better sleep soon!

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Oh the struggle is real. The other day, I got ONE hour of sleep. The next day, I got THREE.
She just gets in these moments of " I'm awake and everyone else is too".

She gets weighed again Monday, im still doing weekly checks. She was 7lb15oz last week. Im guessing she will be 8lb5oz. I've got a great LC that is patient with us. Best $35 a week that I spend.

 

[Literati_Love]

Wow, I don’t know how you managed on so little sleep! Hugs. Hope she starts sleeping better soon

That’s great she is gaining weight well.

How are everyone else’s little ones? Aubrey was 10 lb 2 oz last week. She is doing well, but she doesn’t like to be put down at all and often has very crappy naps, so I definitely don’t get anything done ever.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Love, you need a baby carrier!!
---
Nora is 11 weeks, 9lb4oz. Shes doing well.

 

[Bumblebeee]

Hi all, hope you're all good Just thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing but it seems to have gone very quiet on here, I guess everyone has their hands full at the moment! As for us, my boy is 6 weeks old today and just had his 6 week check earlier which went brilliantly, he's all good and hitting his milestones with no concerns about anything so I'm happy He was 7lbs 6oz born and he's now 11lbs 2oz so gaining well, he's a bit of a grumpy bum though which is exhausting at times. It doesn't help that DH seems to think that because he works he is entitled to just sleep whenever he feels like and basically just put in as little effort as possible all of a sudden just because he's tired from work he's been sleeping on the sofa since the baby's been born yet he's tired?! Well boo fecking hoo, imagine he was the one getting up with the baby 3+times a night, then he'd know tired!!
I've been looking at slings/carriers, Onerth are there any you'd recommend please? X

 

[Literati_Love]

Bumble - I am sorry your husband is just sleeping whenever he wants, doing very little, and complaining about being tired! My DH is doing the exact same thing despite never once getting up in the night with Aubrey. It really is frustrating. I hope your DH steps it up soon and starts to contribute more. You are very tired too and deserve a break!

sounds like your little guy is gaining weight very well, but I’m sorry he’s such a grump! That would get very tiring. Aubrey is a wee bit fussy at times and even that gets exhausting.

Once your baby hits 4 months, I highly recommend the Ergo! There is a newborn insert as well but I don’t have one so can’t say if it’s good or not.

OnErth - you are right. I actually do have one but forgot about it and haven’t taken it out. Would be handy at times for sure. We did just borrow a swing from my sister yesterday and I am SO glad we did! It has already given me such a nice break.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I would look at a happy baby sling, sakura sling, lenny lamb or tula sling. A woven wrap would work.. (a moby is ok but because its stretchy you can only front carry and not for long. A woven can be worn to toddlers front and back). An ergo or tula would work. You can do an infant insert or rolled up towel/blanket. I hated the ergo but love the tula. A mei tai would work but the panel might be too long if baby is small.

 

[ashley2pink]

Violet turned 2 months a few days ago. She was 9 lbs 7.5 oz and 22” long. So growing exactly like the expect her to. She is on the small side bit growing along her curve since she was small at birth. She actually went up in percentiles a little on everything. So I guess I do have enough breast milk. Just no extra! She is finally smiling a lot more. It took so much effort to get her to smile for a while. I would maybe get one smile a day out of her. But now she just seems to be a lot more smiley.