July/August IUIs

[beaglemom]

He DEF needs to be hydrated!!! It is actually a good thing to increase fluid intake overall I have heard.

So another neg for me today & the spotting is more red...so def coming. Hopefully full on tonight so I can do my u/s tomorrow. I am in class for work in the are of my dr. So would be nice not to have to travel back again this week.

Also I got confirmation my grant app was received...SO RELIEVED!!!

Sorry if it is af coming. But how awesome about the grant! What is next for that? Is it a long wait?

The website says decisions on Oct 1. So we will see.

 

[Babywhisperer]

He DEF needs to be hydrated!!! It is actually a good thing to increase fluid intake overall I have heard.

So another neg for me today & the spotting is more red...so def coming. Hopefully full on tonight so I can do my u/s tomorrow. I am in class for work in the are of my dr. So would be nice not to have to travel back again this week.

Also I got confirmation my grant app was received...SO RELIEVED!!!

Sorry if it is af coming. But how awesome about the grant! What is next for that? Is it a long wait?

The website says decisions on Oct 1. So we will see.

I will be crossing fingers for you. Is it just the state of NC? It would definitely help lift the stress and pressure for sure. I hope you get it.

 

[Byrnhild]

Babywhisperer, good luck!!!! Fingers crossed here. BTW, I fall in love with your baby every single time I see the picture. He's BEAUTIFUL!!

Praying, I'm still hoping you get your BFP this cycle and I wish you the very best very soon.

Beaglemom, sorry about af showing... Fingers crossed for next cycle! Stay strong!

Ladies, lots of baby dust to you all, hope everything goes well!!!!

 

[beaglemom]

It is based in NC...but anyone can apply. I think the only stipulation is your dr being approved by them. And my office actually donates to them & work with them.

 

[Prayingforno1]

Thank you Byrn how have you been doing?

 

[Babywhisperer]

Babywhisperer, good luck!!!! Fingers crossed here. BTW, I fall in love with your baby every single time I see the picture. He's BEAUTIFUL!!

Praying, I'm still hoping you get your BFP this cycle and I wish you the very best very soon.

Beaglemom, sorry about af showing... Fingers crossed for next cycle! Stay strong!

Ladies, lots of baby dust to you all, hope everything goes well!!!!

Thank you, how's the 1st tri going?

I should update the photo. He's a teething, drooling boy but still my miracle. Is hoping for another baby greedy? I hope you all don't resent me wanting another.

 

[FutureBabyG]

Babywhisperer, good luck!!!! Fingers crossed here. BTW, I fall in love with your baby every single time I see the picture. He's BEAUTIFUL!!

Praying, I'm still hoping you get your BFP this cycle and I wish you the very best very soon.

Beaglemom, sorry about af showing... Fingers crossed for next cycle! Stay strong!

Ladies, lots of baby dust to you all, hope everything goes well!!!!

Thank you, how's the 1st tri going?

I should update the photo. He's a teething, drooling boy but still my miracle. Is hoping for another baby greedy? I hope you all don't resent me wanting another.

How could we resent you. We all just want to expand and build on our family.

 

[Prayingforno1]

Babywhisperer we are all in the same boat trying to expand our families you already having a little one has nothing to do with the journey we all share in common. No resentment here hun

 

[Babywhisperer]

Thanks Prayingfor and Futurebaby. I count my blessings and I am grateful, I just know it can be really hard when someone wants 2 loaves of bread when they already have 1. I have friends with 3 and 4 kids, I wonder how they do it. I work full time and commute 2hrs a day but I'd gladly keep putting myself last to raise a family. I would have more if money were not an issue. I pray for all of us, every day.

 

[Prayingforno1]

So while I was home today I found a clear blue digital HPT and of course tested result=Not Pregnant. AF can you please hurry up I am ready to see you because after this month you will be on vacation for 9 months

 

[raelynn]

beaglemom - Yay for the grant application being received! Hopefully you'll be hearing some good news from them soon!

babywhisperer - I'm in the same situation since I already have a little one too. I try to be sensitive about it too since I know I am blessed but I always dreamed of having 2 and I know she would do great with a sibling.

Praying - Sorry you're still getting negatives! I'm ready for a 9 month AF vacation too!

Bryrnhild - Hoping your pregnancy is going great!

 

[Ltruns33]

Catch up time!
Ok, first let me say I have been on a week(ish) unintentional break because work got so busy and because I got bad news friday at work and didn't really have time to process it between travelling to a football game with my team, and a xc meet the next day. I found out on friday that despite the best follicles, great endo lining, a perfectly timed IUI, great sperm (105 million post wash) and great tww progesterone support+ no running .. our 2nd IUI still failed. There are no words for me still. It hit me SO hard. sooo hard. Its taken me a week to really process it. I felt like it was a miracle IUI anyways, like a sign from God that there was hope. We barely had time to do the IUI but got it done the Saturday before school. I saw a RAINBOW on my way into the IUI and it was a year to the date from our miscarriage (I'm not one for signs, but a RAINBOW?!).. I just felt like if we are ever going to have good chances that was it. SO here's the bad first. I feel angry, empty, broken, ripped up, hopeless and cheated. I feel like God has tricked us, hurt us, and abandoned us. Any time of the day I am not overcome by the feeling of emptiness is when I am faking it, or surpressing it. I feel like it's never going to happen. I feel like we are destined to be childless. We do not want to adopt after seeing all the issues kids in our schools with crappy parents and teen moms face, we are not interested in that. I just feel like my uterus should be ripped out because it's worthless no matter how healthy the tests say it is. There's a lot more ugliness and hurt in my heart but I don't want it to scare y'all. haha.

So here's the good(ish). My doctor called me after hours, on his own time on Friday night. I know everyone in the clinic was sad for me. I know they thought I had good chances and I feel like I am blessed to have nurses and doctors who are upset to give me bad news. He basically said he looked over my past two iui's and the cancelled one and all my bloodwork from my past two annuals AND my hubbys four semen analysises/urologist reports. We are unexplained. No PCOS. NO ovarian reserve issues. No poor quality sperm. Every IUI has had more than one follicle, great endometrium lining and over 100 million sperm. Nothing adds up to us not being pregnant. He called to tell me that he encourages patients with unexplained to try 3 IUIs but that if we wanted to move onto IVF he understands. I am meeting with him on the 23rd. We are cleansing from fertility stuff this month. I am grieving this month. I am running a half marathon this month. I am trying to realize the reality of a childless life this month. The roller coaster of fertility treatments has broken my spirit.

I am not going to leave this post even though we have no "next step" planned, because I look forward to all the good that y'all have to offer. I am sorry SAKS left, but I have not felt any cattiness or cliqueishness. I am sorry I haven't had any advice or anything to give anyone, but I am barely keeping my head above water with work, and emotionally too. One day I hope to be stronger and not be so needy to y'all and to those in my life. I am encouraged by all of your journeys, and happy for your success Byrnchild I wish you a very healthy pregnancy!


To those that have or will move onto IVF I hope to be there one day. I will be talking to my doctor about if we even have a point of doing IVF in the future. I can't fathom right now why I would want to try something so much more invasive, expensive and time consuming when nothing else has worked and we've almost been trying for 3 years. It doesn't seem to be a good choice because I feel like we'd do it, and then our good old odds would be against us. I just know it wouldn't work and I'd be devastated again. I'm not usually this negative, I promise. In real life I'm a strong leader and head coach of 150 student athletes and I love them dearly and passionately push them to excellence. I am a extrovert who loves doing things for people and a person of strong faith. I say that just to say I promise I am not a downer. I just had to get all the sadness and negativity off my chest. I felt like after my last IUI failed I might as well have been told I can't ever have kids. So I needed to process that and hopefully move on now. Whew.

I will catch up with more of you soon! WElcome to the newbies and I hope I didn't scare anyone away!

I am so sorry you feel this way, but can totally empathize. In a normal unmedicated cycle we can be disappointed, but taking the time, tests, and talking about it can really place a lot of anticipation and hope. The added hormones just amplify all of our emotions. You have every right to grieve, to be sad, angry, frustrated and to take your time. That in itself is a cleansing. Come to terms with your experience and make your next decision after you have had time to process it all. I feel your pain and hope you know you are not alone.

The great thing about IVF is the increased chances we have. My Dr said it is 2-3 times more successful. They can control a lot more, and see up close what they are working with. If it's egg quality they can chose the best. We have decided if this cycle doesn't work we will be doing IVF. I am nervous if we spend all that money and it doesn't work I will feel hopeless, but you never know what life has in store for you. Sometimes things don't happen when we want, but they do happen eventually. I truly think stress has a large part in this, and your schedule is very busy with a lot of commitments. I pray you and everyone on here gets their bfp soon. In the meantime know I am thinking of you.

Saks, if by any chance you are still reading this thread, I hope you are well. Hopefully you were just more sensitive while going thru this becasue I have not seen any of the behavior you mentioned. But your feelings are your feelings, I just hope you know nothing is intentional on this thread to be catty.

Afm, not much to report, have noon appt for u/s and b/w. I hope those follies are growing and I haven't surged bc he gave me off Sat & Sun from coming in and lowered my dose to 75. I am exhausted today. We had people over Sat and I shopped, cleaned, prepped, cooked and yesterday drove to NJ for my SIL's baby shower. When I saw her I immediately welled up with tears. I am going to be an Aunt for the 1st time and I couldn't be happier for them. It was 5hrs of driving yesterday and we brought the baby.....and of course he had a blowout all the way up to his ribs. What a mess! Thankfully I brought another outfit. Of course this never happens but on a 3hr car ride and away from home. Poor guy.

Thinking of all you ladies. Come on BFPs!!!

Ltruns - I am so sorry that you are going through this. What a heartbreak to have such a perfect seeming cycle and then it not working. It is absolutely understandable to need to be angry, grieve, cry, etc. over this. This journey that we all are on is such a difficult one and I just pray that your break with be just what you need and you can come back with some hope and will eventually see that BFP. I'm so glad you'll be sticking around because I too am so glad we have such a supportive group here.

Praying - I'm sorry that your hubby is having a rough time too. It is so hard to see our spouses suffer through this as well. Hopefully AF is not on her way for you. And I agree, it seems some people just pop out babies. I have a family member who has six kids now and she doesn't even watch over any of them when we're together for holidays. They all run wild and get into stuff and it seems like why can people who don't even care have kids so easily and those of us that want them so badly have such trouble having them.

Beaglemom - I'm so hoping your non IUI cycle works for you. Wouldn't that be such a great surprise. If not, it seems like you have done some great research around IVF. It gives me hope if we end up on that route again.

Babywhisperer - It always seems that the worst happens with kids when you're away from home. My daughter got sick for the first time while we were away and out at a restaurant. She threw up all over herself and I had to try and clean her the best I could in the bathroom. Thank goodness for a change of clothes! Hoping this cycle goes well for you too!

AFM - I'm finishing up my clomid tonight and go in for my follicle check on Thursday. I'm guessing not much will be happening yet since my follicles are slow to grow. I don't know why I worry so much but after having a cancelled cycle and then a negative and knowing we only have 2 more chances with the same donor, I'm panicking a little. I also have a ton of added stress from this house mess from the broken sewage pipe. They're digging up our yard today to replace the pipe and they dug 10 feet down and still can't find it. Now they're going to have to rip up the sidewalk too. Can't catch a break it seems.

Hopefully we'll all get some good news soon. It sounds like we need it!!

Lt Runs - I am so sorry the IUI did not work. It is hard to feel like time after time all we do is fail. I am doing one cycle medicated no IUI...just because insurance will pay & I have leftover meds. Then the next cycle will be IVF. I think through all this it is very important to find outlets for your anger, frustration, & stress. Try to engulf yourself in something positive...I personally find great relief & peace just being with my husband. As unrealistic & annoying as it may sound, do not give up hope. IVF is an amazing option. The odds are about 50-70% depending on the process you decide. I used to be so afraid of it. But now I am embracing it. I will be a mother one day...no doubt. And you will, too. I highly suggest doing some research in to IVF. Find some articles online, go through som IVF threads, get some books from the library. It made me feel so much better after doing my own research. Def talk to your dr about it. Get the info from them & the price list. Take that home & take some time to really let it all sink in. Get educated. I promise you, it will make you start to feel so much better about the process.

Thanks for the encouragement about IVF, lttc, and everything. I feel a lot better having vented, been angry for a week or so, etc. My schedule at work is busy, but no where near how busy it used to be- wayyy less stress.

Praying I am sorry your hubby had a hard time the other day.. but how good it is that he lets it out! My hubby only lets stuff like that out when I push for it, I have to drag it out. SOmetimes I feel bad for him having to be around me when I am sad and I never get to return the favor! I read an article over the impact of infertility on men the other day. It's hard on them, so hard bc they don't have as many outlets as we do.

Raelynn/Babywhisperer I don't think y'allshould feel bad or guilty wanting another one. A while back I didn't understand the emotions of secondary infertility being the same as never having conceived- and maybe they aren't identical- but now I do.. half our greif is having a problem that can't be fixed. I think that is half the frustration of fertility treatments. Also, you want another baby to be a part of your family, so don't ever feel bad about that!

Beagle- congrats on your grant! How'd you hear about it? I'll be praying for you as october arrives!

JCM- do you do retrieval soon? Or did I miss that?


Everyone else- good luck and praying for you all wherever you are at in your journey!

Praying for no 1- When is AF due?

 

[beaglemom]

I just ran across it using google. Lots of grants out there.

 

[kjg123]

babywhisp - fx'd for you!!! numbers sound great! really waiting for some GOOD news on this thread!!

ltruns - thanks for sharing your story. really struck me hard and resonated with me as well. i myself just finished a third unsuccessful IUI (though i seem to have issues with uterine lining). my doc wants to try one more before moving to IVF. i was shocked when she presented the idea of IVF but she seemed to believe that it has the highest success with the most control (and lower risk of multiples than injectables/upping dosages). still trying to get my head around the idea but it helps hearing everyone's perspectives.

beagle - fx'd for this next cycle! so hopeful for you!! it'll be my last too before a few months of a break and considering IVF. we are doing letrozole 5mg day 4-8 and adding estrace for lining issues. im cd2 today.

 

[Prayingforno1]

Ltruns33-I normally have a 30 day cycle but due to meds this month I O'd earlier so expect a 28 day cycle ie-thinking she'll show tomorrow although I've been having that af feeling (no cramps just that feeling) since Friday. When DH showed his emotions the other day it was one of the few times he's gotten like that during this journey. I think because we have a male factor issue he blames himself alot but I am confident this journey will only make our relationship stronger.

 

[beaglemom]

Ladies...quick update before my class starts...


I don't know if I should be excited or royally PISSED. Since I hate to have false hope, I am going with pissed at the moment. No AF. And when I say that I mean no spotting, completely dry! So frustrating! So if she shows I will have to make another drive to this town for a baseline. Even if it shows this morning some time, my dr stops u/s at 11:30 & my lunch break is not until at least 12 & it is a 20 minute drive there. Ugh. I forgot to test this AM. I will try again tomorrow. I was in class yesterday & felt so bad I went ahead & took some tylenol. On my way home I got these fierce pinching cramps so bad I was hunched over. They were short but intense. So I just KNEW I would see red when I got home. Nothing. Used a tampon in case & nothing on it before bed. Same thing when I woke up this morning. I can hope a pos shows up late...but I feel like it is just my body screwing with me.

 

[FutureBabyG]

Ladies...quick update before my class starts...


I don't know if I should be excited or royally PISSED. Since I hate to have false hope, I am going with pissed at the moment. No AF. And when I say that I mean no spotting, completely dry! So frustrating! So if she shows I will have to make another drive to this town for a baseline. Even if it shows this morning some time, my dr stops u/s at 11:30 & my lunch break is not until at least 12 & it is a 20 minute drive there. Ugh. I forgot to test this AM. I will try again tomorrow. I was in class yesterday & felt so bad I went ahead & took some tylenol. On my way home I got these fierce pinching cramps so bad I was hunched over. They were short but intense. So I just KNEW I would see red when I got home. Nothing. Used a tampon in case & nothing on it before bed. Same thing when I woke up this morning. I can hope a pos shows up late...but I feel like it is just my body screwing with me.

Good luck. Lots of baby dust and no af.

 

[Prayingforno1]

Oh beagle that sounds so promising keeping fingers crossed for you for BFP!! Please update us when you do get an opportunity to test.

I am still waiting for AF as well darn witch has been torturing me with her feeling almost a week now but no show thus far. Trying not to think about it as I took test yesterday midday and BFN. Went out and treated myself to a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte for breakfast today. I love this time of year-delicious calorie filled and comforting yum yum pumpkin flavours. I love absolutely EVERYTHING pumpkin and can't wait for this time of year to indulge.

 

[Babywhisperer]

Prayingfor and Beaglemom this is how I felt before my bfp. I swore the witch was coming but nothing. Come on bfps let's go!!!! This would be wonderful for you ladies.

Afm I'm done just waiting the 10min. Dh had 91% motility and 48million post wash. Good sample. The PA did the IUI. Her husband is an attorney like my husband. She also has a 9mo old baby boy. My son is 9mos today. Lots of things in com one with her and I have considered going back to school to be a PA so it was cool to talk to her.

She also agreed that in the time since I got prego my eggs have aged and IVF is what I should be doing if this doesn't work this cycle. She said my RE is an amazing Dr and everyone loves and respects him. He's former military and is such a great man. I trust him and hope this works but feel ok with moving onto IVF if needed.

Looks like pregnancy test will be Oct 1. Come on swimmers. God speed! Catch that egg.

 

[beaglemom]

Good luck...sounds like a great IUI!!!

I can hope for a positive...but I am honestly just trying to stay realistic. My body loves to (excuse me ladies) f*** with me when I least expect it. One cycle I had red bleeding at about 10 dpo...never had red. I have had light pink & brown. Nothing. Nurse said it was probably all the hormones. The odd thing is my normal brown spotting started but has now stopped. I go to the bathroom & it is like it is any other day of my cycle...dry & nothing. It is weird. But again...just trying to stay grounded. Class should be over early today, so I will stop by a store & buy a frer. I have cb digital at home & the wondfos.