July/August IUIs

[Babywhisperer]

Hello everyone!!

Sorry I have been MIA. I have been dealing with so much lately. I have been very, extremely down about my last BFN and have had some family issues that have taken up some time.

I got a new job! I was supposed to start this week, however the background check is taking forever to get completed. Apparently the state office has around background checks to do so mine will be another 7 days. EEEK! But, once I start I can plan out my vacation time so I know how much I will have at certain intervals.

When we get our dividend this October we will pay off DH's exisiting 401K loan and be ready to take out another for IVF. We still don't have a time frame for the IVF yet but for now we are working on diet and weight loss and overall trying to get healthier before we move into injectables. Yikes! lol.

I hope you all are doing well. I haven't gone back and read all that I have missed yet, but I will.

Sorry about the family stuff, but yeah for new job!! Btw injections are no big whoop. It will be a breeze. Happy to have you back!

 

[Babywhisperer]

The scary part of IVF is the lump sum of money & no guarantees...but I feel pretty good about after doing research & getting used to the idea.

I am with you. I am scared about dipping into our savings, the no guarantee, and basically that I will be crushed if it doesn't work and I'll feel hopeless. Would you transfer 2 or do PGD and transfer 1? I wonder which has the higher success rate.

My follies are growing a little bit slower this cycle. I have 2 on my right and 1 on my left that are 11-14 in size, and a bunch smaller. I asked him what he felt was different this time and he said age. It is likely egg quality and if this doesn't work he will suggest IVF so they can choose the best ones.

Are we awake for retrieval and transfer? Any pain?

 

[raelynn]

Babywhisperer - It depends on your clinic. When I did IVF, I was "asleep" under anesthesia for the egg retrieval but awake for the transfer since it is basically the same procedure as an IUI - just a catheter they inject the embryo through. Some clinics just put you under general anesthesia for the egg retrieval so you're not fully out. I had no pain after either but they told me there might be some cramping like AF.

 

[beaglemom]

If your boss is anything like mine, he mainly just wanted to know I was okay...nothing serious. Also I think a small part of him thought I was looking for another job So he felt relief to hear what was happening, sympathized with my struggle, & was excited at the idea of me & my husband expanding our family.

Yes that's exactly it!! He just wanted to make sure I was OK and I didn't even realize it at the time but then he followed up by saying how important I was to the company and that he absolutely needed me so yes I think he was definitely wondering if I was looking around.

Also, so happy to see you use the phrase "extending our family" - I absolutely hate it when people use "start a family" to mean "having a baby", as if people like us who are childless don't have a family. It's one of my all-time personal pet peeves!

Well in our eyes we are def "extending". Besides me & my husband (and yes I agree a married/commited couple is a family) we also have 3 dogs, 3 cats, 1 dog passed, & 1 cat passed. So in our eyes, we are just getting a different kind of baby.

 

[beaglemom]

The scary part of IVF is the lump sum of money & no guarantees...but I feel pretty good about after doing research & getting used to the idea.

I am with you. I am scared about dipping into our savings, the no guarantee, and basically that I will be crushed if it doesn't work and I'll feel hopeless. Would you transfer 2 or do PGD and transfer 1? I wonder which has the higher success rate.

My follies are growing a little bit slower this cycle. I have 2 on my right and 1 on my left that are 11-14 in size, and a bunch smaller. I asked him what he felt was different this time and he said age. It is likely egg quality and if this doesn't work he will suggest IVF so they can choose the best ones.

Are we awake for retrieval and transfer? Any pain?

I heard the same as Raelynn stated on the process.

As far I am am concerned, depending on how many eggs I have, I am leaning towards transferring 1, no PGD. It seems our only issue is the boys, so I am hoping I have a good shot on my own. But if the dr insists, I will do PGD. But I am pretty confident that I will NOT be transferring 2. Just not a risk I am willing to take. I respond well to the meds & still young...good reserve, good lining. I really think the boys have just failed to meet up with my egg all these years.

And I do not say any of that to imply there is something rong with doing mre than 1. It is a personal choice that involves yu, your partner, your dr. At the end of the day, I would just rather have a singleton pregnancy & don't want to add to the chances of twins.

 

[FutureBabyG]

Beaglemom you have quite the family. Your baby will have so much love and guardians. It would be so cute to have all your fur babies around you while your prego. Can't wait to hear if you get the grant.

We are expecting a fur baby next week. We had one born in july but the mom slept on it and it passed. We have not had good luck getting our boston baby. Now that I think of it we haven't had the best of luck getting fur or human baby this year, but september is our month.

 

[raelynn]

Beaglemom - I'm the same as you, I would transfer 1 good quality embryo. When we did IVF, our embryos weren't great quality (most likely because of hubby's azoo) so we transferred 2. If I end up with IVF again I'd do the same. They tell you all sorts of info while tracking the embryos so you have a good idea of the quality and chances and so on. Most clinics do the same now anyway, 1 good quality 2 if lower quality or if age and other things come into play.

I'm starting to worry that we'll be headed down the IVF route again too, just because everything seemed perfect last cycle and it didn't work. I'm also starting to worry that we'll run out of donor sperm vials and will have to switch donors. I really wanted our children to be from the same donor... If it isn't one thing to worry about, it's another

 

[beaglemom]

Beaglemom - I'm the same as you, I would transfer 1 good quality embryo. When we did IVF, our embryos weren't great quality (most likely because of hubby's azoo) so we transferred 2. If I end up with IVF again I'd do the same. They tell you all sorts of info while tracking the embryos so you have a good idea of the quality and chances and so on. Most clinics do the same now anyway, 1 good quality 2 if lower quality or if age and other things come into play.

I'm starting to worry that we'll be headed down the IVF route again too, just because everything seemed perfect last cycle and it didn't work. I'm also starting to worry that we'll run out of donor sperm vials and will have to switch donors. I really wanted our children to be from the same donor... If it isn't one thing to worry about, it's another

Raelynn - what an odd thing to worry about! Not that it is not valid...what I mean is what a world we live in where things like that come out of our mouths, you know. Like "I have been married & faithful for 10 years...I sure hope both my kids have the same dad." It is just amazing the options the world offers us now...& yet still we struggle I hope IUI works for you & you have nothing more to worry about.

I am feeling pretty emotional today...I am pretty sure it is AF hormones.

 

[raelynn]

I know! I never thought I'd ever be worrying about something like this. Never expected to ever have problems having kids either. Oh what infertility does to us!

 

[FutureBabyG]

Did anyone else feel like they did a complete abdominal workout the day after iui? I feel like I have been put through the ringer and my whole body is tense.

 

[beaglemom]

Did anyone else feel like they did a complete abdominal workout the day after iui? I feel like I have been put through the ringer and my whole body is tense.

I felt rough day of especially when multiple eggs. But felt fine the next day.

 

[Babywhisperer]

Did anyone else feel like they did a complete abdominal workout the day after iui? I feel like I have been put through the ringer and my whole body is tense.

I felt rough day of especially when multiple eggs. But felt fine the next day.

I agree. Day of was the worst but with multiple follies I was tender for a week.

You all make me want puppies! I want a dog but dh says no, maybe when kids are older.

In happy news my BFF had her second baby, this time a boy. I'm so happy for her. She had a mc before number 1. Come on ladies let's get those bfps rolling!

 

[beaglemom]

I took a test today...neg. I was going to wait but I had this weird dull ache on my right side. Also no brown spotting which I typically get sometimes up to a week before af.

 

[FutureBabyG]

Thank you beaglemom and babywhisperer. I appreciate the input. It helps put my mind at ease a little.

Beaglemom sorry to hear about your negative this morning. I have read on here that women get negatives the day before their af but then turn around and get faint positives a couple days later. Good luck and lots of baby dust to you.

 

[kjg123]

been a couple weeks since checking in...tried to keep busy during the 2ww!

beagle- so sorry for the bfn, i feel your pain.

i was 11dpiui yesterday and got a bfn. stopped the crinone. not sure what our next steps are as that was our third medicated/iui cycle will post again if anything changes but i promised myself i wouldnt check again unless AF is late (usually 15-16 dpiui).

hope everyone else is well!

 

[FutureBabyG]

Ok pretty sure discomfort is actually from walking and not the iui. We walked down a pier a couple times and then got on a boat. I had a hard time getting up. Ekk. Will take it easy tomorrow. Thank you ladies.

 

[beaglemom]

Ok pretty sure discomfort is actually from walking and not the iui. We walked down a pier a couple times and then got on a boat. I had a hard time getting up. Ekk. Will take it easy tomorrow. Thank you ladies.

My last 2 IUIs had multiple eggs. I took the day off for relaxtion, but ended up needing it...I was on the couch all day. The next one I stayed out with my husband as long as possible...but spent the evening on the couch. It almost felt like every step made my insides jiggle around.

 

[FutureBabyG]

Thanks beaglemom. Definitely think we have been over doing it on vacation.

Funny story: yesterday I text my mom a picture of us on vacation. I thought I could copy and paste it into a text for my dad. Well trying to do so I ended up sending him a forum post about our iui. This is what it said Haha I just had my iui today post wash was 22 mil 88% progressive motility. Wow... your dh had super sperm then. My dh had 325 mil on the seman analysis but really poor motility. I guess we will see. Since I triggered I will have to wait until September 25 to test. So far!!!! Grrr. My parents didn't know we were actually trying. I guess now they do and that we are using some assistance. One way to tell them I suppose.

 

[Ltruns33]

Catch up time!
Ok, first let me say I have been on a week(ish) unintentional break because work got so busy and because I got bad news friday at work and didn't really have time to process it between travelling to a football game with my team, and a xc meet the next day. I found out on friday that despite the best follicles, great endo lining, a perfectly timed IUI, great sperm (105 million post wash) and great tww progesterone support+ no running .. our 2nd IUI still failed. There are no words for me still. It hit me SO hard. sooo hard. Its taken me a week to really process it. I felt like it was a miracle IUI anyways, like a sign from God that there was hope. We barely had time to do the IUI but got it done the Saturday before school. I saw a RAINBOW on my way into the IUI and it was a year to the date from our miscarriage (I'm not one for signs, but a RAINBOW?!).. I just felt like if we are ever going to have good chances that was it. SO here's the bad first. I feel angry, empty, broken, ripped up, hopeless and cheated. I feel like God has tricked us, hurt us, and abandoned us. Any time of the day I am not overcome by the feeling of emptiness is when I am faking it, or surpressing it. I feel like it's never going to happen. I feel like we are destined to be childless. We do not want to adopt after seeing all the issues kids in our schools with crappy parents and teen moms face, we are not interested in that. I just feel like my uterus should be ripped out because it's worthless no matter how healthy the tests say it is. There's a lot more ugliness and hurt in my heart but I don't want it to scare y'all. haha.

So here's the good(ish). My doctor called me after hours, on his own time on Friday night. I know everyone in the clinic was sad for me. I know they thought I had good chances and I feel like I am blessed to have nurses and doctors who are upset to give me bad news. He basically said he looked over my past two iui's and the cancelled one and all my bloodwork from my past two annuals AND my hubbys four semen analysises/urologist reports. We are unexplained. No PCOS. NO ovarian reserve issues. No poor quality sperm. Every IUI has had more than one follicle, great endometrium lining and over 100 million sperm. Nothing adds up to us not being pregnant. He called to tell me that he encourages patients with unexplained to try 3 IUIs but that if we wanted to move onto IVF he understands. I am meeting with him on the 23rd. We are cleansing from fertility stuff this month. I am grieving this month. I am running a half marathon this month. I am trying to realize the reality of a childless life this month. The roller coaster of fertility treatments has broken my spirit.

I am not going to leave this post even though we have no "next step" planned, because I look forward to all the good that y'all have to offer. I am sorry SAKS left, but I have not felt any cattiness or cliqueishness. I am sorry I haven't had any advice or anything to give anyone, but I am barely keeping my head above water with work, and emotionally too. One day I hope to be stronger and not be so needy to y'all and to those in my life. I am encouraged by all of your journeys, and happy for your success Byrnchild I wish you a very healthy pregnancy!


To those that have or will move onto IVF I hope to be there one day. I will be talking to my doctor about if we even have a point of doing IVF in the future. I can't fathom right now why I would want to try something so much more invasive, expensive and time consuming when nothing else has worked and we've almost been trying for 3 years. It doesn't seem to be a good choice because I feel like we'd do it, and then our good old odds would be against us. I just know it wouldn't work and I'd be devastated again. I'm not usually this negative, I promise. In real life I'm a strong leader and head coach of 150 student athletes and I love them dearly and passionately push them to excellence. I am a extrovert who loves doing things for people and a person of strong faith. I say that just to say I promise I am not a downer. I just had to get all the sadness and negativity off my chest. I felt like after my last IUI failed I might as well have been told I can't ever have kids. So I needed to process that and hopefully move on now. Whew.

I will catch up with more of you soon! WElcome to the newbies and I hope I didn't scare anyone away!

 

[Prayingforno1]

Ltruns33- hun. I think anyone whose been on a lttc journey can understand your frustration and being overwhelmed. Fertility treatments are very draining both mentally and physically, I think mainly because are odds are increased and naturally we put more faith that it will work. Enjoy your month off and marathon and hopefully the mental/physical break from treatments will give you the space you need from it all to keep pushing further. GL on your doc visit later this month and I pray that the brokenness in you spirit you are feeling right now will be healed.