June Testers Thread - gimme your dates

[LucyJ]

I think accupuncture can help but its worth finding one that specializes in fertility and who is part of the British accupuncture society, you can do that at the same time as TTC. I'm a bit dubious about chinese medicine only because I've heard some scary stories.

 

[LucyJ]

Wow megg that is a lot of pills you must rattle but if they help thats the important thing hoping your ovaries behave themself and realise an egg for you this time!!

Minniemone I hope all goes well with your tests and you dont have to wait too long for the results.

 

[Megg33k]

I know its a lot! It actually makes me sick some days just thinking of them all. I hate it! And, months like this make me feel like I'm doing it for nothing! But, I try to tell myself that its not the case and there WILL be a reward at the end. Not really believing it today, tbh.

 

[NatoPMT]

I forgot to say, she also said that, because I had an mmc and there was a period of 4/5 weeks before I had the op, that was ‘bad’. I didn’t ask any more about that – but I have read that asherman’s is more likely if there is a long period of time before ERPC and im pretty sure Ive read other things about the longer the delay, the worse it is.

Luce - I also forgot to say that she said the fact it was an mmc in itself indicates circulatory issues and I have to wait because the circulatory issues might cause the same thing again. She said if i do get pregnant, they would work to keep my baby safe. she said if i insist, they can omit the circulatory herbs and work on that soley through the acupuncture / massage (im straight back on the aspirin now)

what horror stories have you heard? what do i need to panic about now?

 

[vickyd]

In my opinion Traditional chinese medicine is overated. I think it works if you have lived your life the traditional chinese way. I mean this practice was developed after hundreds or more years, based on the chinese rural lifestyle. This includes not only diet but exposures to specific bacterias, viruses as well as general living conditions. In my opinion genetic code also is important. In china stomach cancer is very rare (diet, genetics who knows?) however, we are seeing a huge increse of this cancer in asians that live in the western world. Many studies have been carried out on westerners practicing TCM and no conclusion could be reached concerning its success...

 

[Megg33k]

Sounds reasonable enough, hun! I haven't heard the horror stories, but I'm curious!

So I don't have to explain my evening and why I'm so unhappy... I'm copy/pasting from my blog. Its behind the spoiler tag because its VERY lengthy... but I'm pretty upset at the moment.

Spoiler

Just because someone doesn't understand WHY I feel the way I feel, doesn't mean that I shouldn't feel that way. This will make more sense shortly... I promise!

So, I have a good friend who I love dearly! He's generally an AMAZING person! He's one of the best friends I've had the honor of knowing, and he loves me to pieces. I need to put that out there... because he DOES mean well. He just doesn't always know what is okay to say and what isn't okay to say!

Yesterday was 6 months since my first loss... and I'm not dealing with it well... at all! He invited me and Kevin over, but I warned him that I was VERY down. He said not to worry about it and come over anyway. So, we went. Now, I tend to crack a few jokes at my own expense to lighten the topic of my shitty luck. But, I do it when I'm in the mood to handle it.

That being said, he asked me why I was down. I explained that it was 6 months since my first loss, Sunday will be 1 month since my 2nd loss, and June 27th is my first due date. So, I'm just not coping well. Its making me extremely depressed at the moment. This is where it all starts to go a bit wrong!

He begins by telling me that he doesn't understand why I want a baby so much anyway. I know he doesn't understand. He doesn't like children... at all. He doesn't know why anyone wants them. I accept that! I don't expect him to understand why.

Then, he continues to ask me if I can be certain that I won't regret having one after the fact. Like, "What if you decide after you've had a baby that it was the wrong decision and you don't want to be a mother after all?" Well, I tried to explain that I used to not want kids... But, once I got a trial run at motherhood with my ex-husband's son, it was 1000 times more rewarding than I could have ever expected, and I was VERY happy with being a mother! We're still doing okay at this point... mostly.

As the evening (err... morning) continued, he got more and more worried about my mental state. He didn't want to leave me by myself. So, he vowed to stay up with me and talk it out. I think this was the major error really.

I dropped my husband off to go to sleep so he could work in the morning, and my friend and I went for a drive. He starts telling me that I'm not putting enough thought into whether or not it could be my husband's fault... basically, male-factor... but without knowing the term for it. I explain that male-factor usually makes it difficult to get pregnant, not to stay pregnant. That there is a slight chance, but its not likely.

Then, I add that my ex-husband has a tendency to get women pregnant by looking at them, and we never so much as had a "scare" in 5 years. That's when he comes out with... "So, in reality, its probable that you won't ever have children." *shakes head in a shocked manner* WHAT?!

I freaked... while I was driving! He notices and says, "No, I mean... You'll have children... But you probably won't ever get pregnant!" Oh... That's MUCH better? I said... "Uhm... Getting pregnant is sort of how having children works, ya know?" Did I mention that he's gay? Because he is... and thinking of girls having "girl parts" kind of freaks him out... I feel its important to mention that!

Anyway... He tried to back peddle... because I'm CRYING while driving! He eventually says that he just meant it might not happen without some sort of treatment... IVF or something. That is somewhat acceptable... I guess. But, only sort of.

Did I mention that he was questioning me earlier in the night about why I don't just adopt? Because, that came up! I tried to explain that its not so easy.

But, its seriously done my head in. No one has ever told me that its probable that I will never have children or probably won't get pregnant! That's... awful. And, I honestly don't believe that he knew it was awful. But, it doesn't hurt any less, now does it?

Anyway... I took my first Provera pill yesterday... I should be bleeding by June 24. So, I'll still be bleeding on my first due date. That's about as depressing as possible! But, its a necessary evil... I suppose!

I can't honestly say that I'm not more pessimistic than ever right now. Hearing those words... even if they weren't necessarily true... THEY FUCKING HURT! And, to hear them from someone I love... That's the hard part. I feel enough like he might be right when he's NOT saying it.... But, hearing it just made it 1,000,000 times more awful!

I guess that's all for tonight... Enough whining from me!

Any psychics reading? Anyone who can tell me that he's wrong with 100% accuracy? Anyone who tells me that I'll have a baby of my own VERY SOON... because they KNOW rather than because its the nice thing to say? I'll take just about anything right now. I'm desperate!

 

[Megg33k]

Sounds reasonable enough, hun! I haven't heard the horror stories, but I'm curious!

So I don't have to explain my evening and why I'm so unhappy... I'm copy/pasting from my blog. Its behind the spoiler tag because its VERY lengthy... but I'm pretty upset at the moment.

Spoiler

Just because someone doesn't understand WHY I feel the way I feel, doesn't mean that I shouldn't feel that way. This will make more sense shortly... I promise!

So, I have a good friend who I love dearly! He's generally an AMAZING person! He's one of the best friends I've had the honor of knowing, and he loves me to pieces. I need to put that out there... because he DOES mean well. He just doesn't always know what is okay to say and what isn't okay to say!

Yesterday was 6 months since my first loss... and I'm not dealing with it well... at all! He invited me and Kevin over, but I warned him that I was VERY down. He said not to worry about it and come over anyway. So, we went. Now, I tend to crack a few jokes at my own expense to lighten the topic of my shitty luck. But, I do it when I'm in the mood to handle it.

That being said, he asked me why I was down. I explained that it was 6 months since my first loss, Sunday will be 1 month since my 2nd loss, and June 27th is my first due date. So, I'm just not coping well. Its making me extremely depressed at the moment. This is where it all starts to go a bit wrong!

He begins by telling me that he doesn't understand why I want a baby so much anyway. I know he doesn't understand. He doesn't like children... at all. He doesn't know why anyone wants them. I accept that! I don't expect him to understand why.

Then, he continues to ask me if I can be certain that I won't regret having one after the fact. Like, "What if you decide after you've had a baby that it was the wrong decision and you don't want to be a mother after all?" Well, I tried to explain that I used to not want kids... But, once I got a trial run at motherhood with my ex-husband's son, it was 1000 times more rewarding than I could have ever expected, and I was VERY happy with being a mother! We're still doing okay at this point... mostly.

As the evening (err... morning) continued, he got more and more worried about my mental state. He didn't want to leave me by myself. So, he vowed to stay up with me and talk it out. I think this was the major error really.

I dropped my husband off to go to sleep so he could work in the morning, and my friend and I went for a drive. He starts telling me that I'm not putting enough thought into whether or not it could be my husband's fault... basically, male-factor... but without knowing the term for it. I explain that male-factor usually makes it difficult to get pregnant, not to stay pregnant. That there is a slight chance, but its not likely.

Then, I add that my ex-husband has a tendency to get women pregnant by looking at them, and we never so much as had a "scare" in 5 years. That's when he comes out with... "So, in reality, its probable that you won't ever have children." *shakes head in a shocked manner* WHAT?!

I freaked... while I was driving! He notices and says, "No, I mean... You'll have children... But you probably won't ever get pregnant!" Oh... That's MUCH better? I said... "Uhm... Getting pregnant is sort of how having children works, ya know?" Did I mention that he's gay? Because he is... and thinking of girls having "girl parts" kind of freaks him out... I feel its important to mention that!

Anyway... He tried to back peddle... because I'm CRYING while driving! He eventually says that he just meant it might not happen without some sort of treatment... IVF or something. That is somewhat acceptable... I guess. But, only sort of.

Did I mention that he was questioning me earlier in the night about why I don't just adopt? Because, that came up! I tried to explain that its not so easy.

But, its seriously done my head in. No one has ever told me that its probable that I will never have children or probably won't get pregnant! That's... awful. And, I honestly don't believe that he knew it was awful. But, it doesn't hurt any less, now does it?

Anyway... I took my first Provera pill yesterday... I should be bleeding by June 24. So, I'll still be bleeding on my first due date. That's about as depressing as possible! But, its a necessary evil... I suppose!

I can't honestly say that I'm not more pessimistic than ever right now. Hearing those words... even if they weren't necessarily true... THEY FUCKING HURT! And, to hear them from someone I love... That's the hard part. I feel enough like he might be right when he's NOT saying it.... But, hearing it just made it 1,000,000 times more awful!

I guess that's all for tonight... Enough whining from me!

Any psychics reading? Anyone who can tell me that he's wrong with 100% accuracy? Anyone who tells me that I'll have a baby of my own VERY SOON... because they KNOW rather than because its the nice thing to say? I'll take just about anything right now. I'm desperate!

 

[LucyJ]

Aww megg I am so sorry you are going through this it must be so hard and for a friend to say that just adds to it. I guess unless you've been through what we've been through its hard to understand and that some people think they are helping but dont realise what they are saying is insenstive and hurtfull. I know my brother who doesnt have kids and wont have them has said things to me which has left me in tears and where I have just wanted to smack him so hard but on reflection I realise in his own way he was trying to help he just didnt understand what I had gone through or why what he was saying was upsetting and hurtful to me.

I dont have a crystal ball I wish I did but I do believe that you will have your little one that its not over for you and your hubby!! If your feeling down thats ok allow yourself to feel it but I'm going to feel positive and hopefully for you so when your ready I'll send it all your way. Big Take care of yourself.

 

[LucyJ]

Nato, I know people who have had nasty side effects and that the herbs they were taking didnt do anything just made them feel worse. One lady (a friend of my mum's) saw a guy and it turned out he had no medical knowledge and wasnt trained at all and the herbs he gave her made her really ill he didnt take a medical history or anything like that so just check the credentials if you do go for it. Also I dont like the idea of putting things into your body that you dont necessarily no whats in them. Dont be scared though dont want to scare you.

On the flip side of that I know people who have had a lot of success with just accupuncture (not linked to chinese medicine). Having said that I only know one person whos had accupuncture for fertility but it did work for her.

 

[heart tree]

Good morning ladies. Always so much to catch up on when I wake up! I do acupuncture and have been doing it since I started TTC. I was on the pill for 17 years and it took a very long time to get my cycle regulated. I truly thing acupuncture helped with that. I also took herbs leading up to both of my pregnancies. Interestingly, my acupuncturist hasn't given me any since my last mc. I'm almost afraid to ask why. No, I am afraid to ask why, since I haven't asked. I used to get acupuncture every week, but now go every other week due to cost (my insurance no longer covers it). I went yesterday and I have to say, it is divine. If nothing else, it relaxes me like nothing I've ever felt before. My whole body gets tingly and I'm in a dreamlike state but I feel fully awake. It's like being on an amazing drug, but without the horrible hangover! I don't know that it is doing anything for my fertility, but I love it so much, I can't give it up. I also love the individualized attention I get from her regarding my fertility. We analyze my temp chart, talk about my cycles, talk about this website. She takes everything I say seriously. I love her. Nato, I'm not sure I could wait 3 months. I hope you don't have to bother because you'll get your BFP. I still think it is too early for you to test babe.

I'm interested to read the article you posted Nato. Will do that later today. I did read somewhere that whole milk is good for the eggs. I also hate milk so instead I have a cup of whole milk yogurt with some fresh fruit every day. I cut back my fish oil when I take baby aspirin. I didn't do that before my last mc, and I fear I might have thinned my blood too much.

Vicky, do you have any thoughts about Conceive Plus? I also bought that and tried it this cycle (but on the wrong days since I got some false positive OPKs).

Minnie, congrats on AF. The first one is always a relief. Let us know about your test results.

Megg, sorry you are having such a hard time of it right now. This is such a rollercoaster of a journey. I think you'll feel a lot better once AF comes. I'll read your post later today.

AFM, another high temp today, so I can definitely confirm ovulation. Later than usual, but it happened. 5dpo, and feeling nothing. I know it is too early, but last pregnancy my boobs hurt at 4dpo. I'm not feeling it this cycle, then again, I always feel like this 5dpo! Off to take a shower and get ready for work. I'm sure you're all well into your Wednesday already!

xoxo

 

[Megg33k]

Thanks, Lucy! I appreciate it! I'll come find you when I'm ready to be positive!

The silver lining is that OH and I have now had a conversation regarding our previously set "limitations" on how long we'd try and what lengths we'd go to. I'll explain... but please understand that these limitations were based on OUR lives and preferences... and not judgments on anyone else's choices.

We had initially said that we'd impose a soft limit at 35... basically, that would be the beginning of the end of our journey, regardless of the outcome. We had imposed a hard limit of 37. That's when we swore we'd give up, even if we hadn't had a single child yet. We had also previously said that we wouldn't be willing to go through IVF... it was just too much to deal with.

Well, I'm happy to say that we've both completely agreed to throw those out the window! We're both in agreement that neither age, nor medical intervention, nor sleet, nor snow... or whatever it is... will stop us! We're ready to go the long haul if necessary! There is some relief there! While I hope more than anything that it doesn't take that long... Its nice to not feel like our trying has an expiration date.

Hearty - That spike is AMAZING! Loving it!!!! I will feel better when AF comes... but you'll see when you read the post that this has little/nothing to do with that!

 

[vickyd]

Megg first of all, ask any doctor and he will tell you that if you got pregnant once then you WILL BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS!!! Will it take longer than some other woman, possibly...will you need IVF? who knows? The bottom line is that you have been pregnant and you will again!
As for your friend, ive had the exact same discussion with my best gay mate. They dont get the wanting kids cause its not part of their culture...Mine went as far as to say that wanting to have a biological child is the most selfish desire ever and that if being a mother is what i want i should adopt one of the thousands of abandoned kids out there. I honestly never get upset with him cause again this need is so far removed from their everyday life that they will never get it.

Hearty, another friend of mine has started using conceive plus instead of pre-seed after doing tons of research on it and all its constituents. She said that she found nowhere in the literature a connection to miscarriage or other complications. I will try it as well as soon as i can find it- in greece we only have pre-seed.

Ok all you charters out there enlighten me, does your temp go up before you ovulate or right after?

 

[msarkozi]

Heart Tree - I am the same way. I am 8 DPO and I don't really feel it. Even though there are a few symptoms there, I am thinking it is just PMS. With my last pregnancy, I felt it just before 3 weeks pregnant. I am not going to give up though (until I have AF), and I hope you don't either.

I actually tested last night, and it was BFN. I could be early yet as well, as my ovulation came later then normal, so I might have the wrong calendar day. Going to wait and see what happens. This waiting sucks!

 

[meow951]

You should get a dip when you OV and then it will shoot up. Although not everyone gets a dip. But if there are 2 distinguishable temperature levels (so post-ov temps are higher than pre temps) then you have ovulated.

 

[Megg33k]

I know you're right, Vicky! Its just SO hard! I know plenty of gay men and women who do want to be parents... desperately! So, the fact that he supports me at all is really a miracle! And, he does! 99% of the time, he's amazing! But, when he's not amazing... He's REALLY not amazing! LOL I'll just have to try and toughen up! Really, any other week, it might have been fine. But I was already SUPER depressed last night... so it was that much worse!

Agreeing that some people see a dip in temp on O day and then the rise the next day, while others don't get the dip. The only universal is that the rise will not happen until after you've ovulated.

 

[Jenna_1980]

Had the ultrasound yesterday - they did both an external and an internal ultrasound (don't think the husband was ready for that one!). The ultrasound tech obvs couldn't tell me anything, but she said the radiologist would read the 'sound that same day and my Dr. would have it today. So hopefully she will ring me up today with some results.

Its waaay to easy to overthink and try to read into the questions the ultrasound tech asked while she was doing the read.

I had 2 what I would consider 'normal' AFs before this abnormal bleeding - so it was totally by surprise. Heavy, clotty and lasted 11-12 days with stabby type pains near my left ovary.

I will keep you guys posted when I hear from my doc. Thank you all for your support! You are all so awesome.

Jenna

 

[Megg33k]

It really sounds like a cyst/polyp/some such thing... FX'd that its nothing even remotely serious!

 

[LucyJ]

Fingers crossed for your results. Keep us posted. Big

 

[NatoPMT]

Hi girls, well so much for destressing, i cried on the bus on the way home as well as at the acupuncturists.

I was thinking about the wait - she said 'you know you're not ready yet' and i though this afternoon, bollocks to you, Im as over the mmc as I can be, im upset now because of what i might lose and being scared i cant conceive again, im not so much upset about the past, more about the future i might not have - so how is waiting gonna help that? hmm hmm.

Hi again Mone my love, brilliant to hear off you at last! sorry about the witch, i hate her. I bet my witch is in cahoots with yours. Im really glad you have some proper action plan treatment sorted. Im scared of killer cells, my sister has those and im terrified i do. The baby aspirin can help reduce them too. Im so mad with that Dr Dickhead, he upset you saying you mightve harmed the pregnancy with aspirin, for you then to be prescribed what he implied mightve caused the last mc ...to stop another happening. Knob. I stopped taking it when you did, but i am so taking it again now. My sister yesterday said its fine with fish oils and said listen to Mr T not the ones with rubbish IVF rates, and then this chinese lady said my circ was poor today so I am right back on it.

whats the vitamin D for Mone? Im really glad you are sounding so positive, i lovethe sound of your new dr, they will sort you out good and proper - your reserves will be fine, you wouldnt be getting pregnant so much if there werent, thats what i think x

Megg, sorry youre feeling a bit crappy - i hear ya, though. Need expert and 100% right fortune teller. I see you take fish oil and aspirin together, thats just sealed my deal again, i am taking everything now. Sorry you hate taking all the pills, i actually dont mind it, co sit means i'm doing something. They arent drugs (apart from the aspirin) they are good for you, so its good to take them i reckons. Re: your blog, you know this is his stuff, not your stuff dont you? everything he said is about him and how he feels. I also find my friends who dont want children are qute negative about the situation, like id be 'leaving' them if i had a child. Its selfish - we are all selfish to an extent and doesnt mean hes being vindictive, just a bit driven by his internal stuff, rather than yours, inappropriately

and yikes, im already 2 years past your original hard limit.

Vic i thought the same - i thought this morning, no point in me taking chinese herbs alongside a litre of milk, when they dont drink milk in china. I dont have any evidence you have to have the same lifestyle but somehow it makes sense in my head. I was thinking of getting conceive plus next as someone on here mentioned the vitamins and stuff in it - cant go wrong with a vitamin in your fufu

Luce - thanks for the advice, i was supposed to go back after work and youve made me think a bit. Im gonna see a few and see if they diagnose the same and check their qualifications

Thanks hearty, i need someone can trust like you trust yours

mssy you have cracked!! youre as bad as me, 7dpo is waaaay too early

Jenna - hope that gets sorted very soon

 

[vickyd]

My luvs i think weve all had a pretty stressful and tear filled week, the etrnal optimist in me couldnt resist posing thiis song in hopes we revive some of that PMA!!!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8arvEzHsA8