Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[Bride2b]

Blav - my mums dog is a nightmare & hates one of my dogs going near my mum, and gets really jelous if my dog gets the smallest big of attention from any of us. We just have to tell him off as he really goes for my dog (even though he is so much smaller). He stops once he is told off. Dogs are a total bloody nightmare, my big dog hates men & children, and now other strange dogs! We have to keep him muzzled when we go out. We have spend sooooooo much money on trainers and behaviourists and no one has cracked him!

It is a worry, but think you are doing the right thing by stopping it before getting out of control. I know it sounds stupid but have you told him off?

My big dog (German Shep X Great Dane) is super sensitive & knows that we are upset. He is the one who doesnt like kids, my MIL was worried how he would react to a baby, but he loves me & OH more than anything and think he will be a total cool dude over it! My other dog (Siberian Husky) is so independant, and hasnt really noticed there is anything wrong! Anyway my point is my big man is gettig better with strangers, its just persistance & boundries. Maybe your dog senses that you need comfort & wants to look after you?

Glad you got an OV testing kit xx

 

[KamIAm]

Hi Friends ....

Bleh .. Bah-hum-bug

It's getting harder and harder to continue up with this "Kelly is GREAT show' ... I have my moments when I am truly better BUT it doesnt ever last long and I feel myself on that slow slide back into the darkness ...

Do you all do that as well?? Fake being OK? ... I find myself doing it a lot! Feel like I have to for my OH and other children.. Think the closer Christmas gets the uglier its getting for me ... I should have a 4 month old now!!!!! I should be buying her baby toys and presents ...

I'm sorry for the rant ...Just had to share ....

Andrea, hope your doctor's appointment goes well... I have mine coming up and I'm dreading it like it's the pleague! Ugh! In fact, I have already decided I am rescheduling mine until after the first of the year .. Hate that stupid office ...

Blah... Sorry again for the nastiness ... Time to put on my "big girl panties", shake this off, put on my smile & breath again .... Thanks for listening friends ..

 

[Andypanda6570]

Hi Friends ....

Bleh .. Bah-hum-bug

It's getting harder and harder to continue up with this "Kelly is GREAT show' ... I have my moments when I am truly better BUT it doesnt ever last long and I feel myself on that slow slide back into the darkness ...

Do you all do that as well?? Fake being OK? ... I find myself doing it a lot! Feel like I have to for my OH and other children.. Think the closer Christmas gets the uglier its getting for me ... I should have a 4 month old now!!!!! I should be buying her baby toys and presents ...

I'm sorry for the rant ...Just had to share ....

Andrea, hope your doctor's appointment goes well... I have mine coming up and I'm dreading it like it's the pleague! Ugh! In fact, I have already decided I am rescheduling mine until after the first of the year .. Hate that stupid office ...

Blah... Sorry again for the nastiness ... Time to put on my "big girl panties", shake this off, put on my smile & breath again .... Thanks for listening friends ..

Kelly,
we all have these days , it is terrible I know it will pass and things will get easier. Christmas I think is just going to be tough for all of this year it's so sad...
XOOX Love Ya

 

[KamIAm]

Thanks Andrea.... You mean more to me than you will ever know...

Yes, we all will have these days and the great part is, we can come here and lift each other up ....

 

[Andypanda6570]

Thanks Andrea.... You mean more to me than you will ever know...

Yes, we all will have these days and the great part is, we can come here and lift each other up ....

 

[dnlfinker]

Andrea I am so glad that you are brining a friend, its so hard ! She is going to have to distract you big time. Please prepare youself emotionally , it will help you! I am not trying to be negative , just realistic becuase I really care about you!

Kelly,
HOlidays are truely hard , I just hope its going to be over soon so that you dont have the pressure from it.Do you really think your husband does not understand , or is he really just hiding the feelings. I have thought about that question for a while , and I dont have the answer just yet. Its annoying when they just nud or say "Yea OK". Its really not ok! We are crying for our angels (they are crying for us )and we cant do anything ! There is no point to try to make them understand , but then arent they there to support us for better for worse forever holds our peace!

QUOTE]

 

[Hellylou]

Sorry you're feeling rubbish, Kelly. So far since my little wobble a few weeks back I've been pretty good, but I know there will be more slumps to come, so I am hanging on to the good feelings for dear life at the moment! I think it is going to be much harder for me when I pass my due date, because then it will really hit home that he should have arrived by then and he never will. By Christmas I would have been 31 weeks, so I would have been all big and heavy and not able to drink etc. Now I am able to get into my normal clothes and able to drink - I just don't want to. It has felt the same with dancing. I go, and it's fun, but I can't help thinking I shouldn't be there.

Sending hugs. We'll get through Christmas together

 

[blav]

Blav - my mums dog is a nightmare & hates one of my dogs going near my mum, and gets really jelous if my dog gets the smallest big of attention from any of us. We just have to tell him off as he really goes for my dog (even though he is so much smaller). He stops once he is told off. Dogs are a total bloody nightmare, my big dog hates men & children, and now other strange dogs! We have to keep him muzzled when we go out. We have spend sooooooo much money on trainers and behaviourists and no one has cracked him!

It is a worry, but think you are doing the right thing by stopping it before getting out of control. I know it sounds stupid but have you told him off?

My big dog (German Shep X Great Dane) is super sensitive & knows that we are upset. He is the one who doesnt like kids, my MIL was worried how he would react to a baby, but he loves me & OH more than anything and think he will be a total cool dude over it! My other dog (Siberian Husky) is so independant, and hasnt really noticed there is anything wrong! Anyway my point is my big man is gettig better with strangers, its just persistance & boundries. Maybe your dog senses that you need comfort & wants to look after you?

Glad you got an OV testing kit xx

We haven't really yelled at him I guess because it has taken us so by surprise we didn't know what to do! I sent OH a text after he left apologizing and he said it's okay, he's gone through a lot of changes recently. Which he has, I was pregnant, then I wasn't, and we moved into OH's house. In a way I hope that is why he is behaving this way, at least we would have a reason.

He's a smart dog, I know if we can find a way to get through to him, we can find a way to make it stop. I think he (the dog) feels like he does need to look after me in some way.

Although, I'm honestly just trying not to worry about it becasue I don't want it to effect my cycle! And, for some reason I feel like I need to talk to OH about TTC this month. We talked about it and more or less decided we were going to try this month. I bought the OPK and told him about it and when I said maybe I should have talked to him first he said, why would you have to do that? He's said other things that make me think he is excited to TTC but I just feel like I want to give him one more out if maybe he's not ready this month. Perhaps after I make him a delicious dinner (beef tenderloin with gorgonzola cream sauce and bacon) I'll feel better about bringing it up!

 

[Bride2b]

I think blokes show their feelings in a different way. He might be worried about another pregnancy as you have been through so much & probably doesnt want to see you go through it again - like us they too are probably terrified of another pregnancy not going to plan. I know my OH said we can try again, but I think when the time comes and we get the all clear it is a conversation we will have to have. Its just a big decision & they too must feel nervous about moving forward & going for it!

Keep talking to him & spoil him rotten with his favorite dinner - surely that will win him over!!!!

 

[blav]

I think blokes show their feelings in a different way. He might be worried about another pregnancy as you have been through so much & probably doesnt want to see you go through it again - like us they too are probably terrified of another pregnancy not going to plan. I know my OH said we can try again, but I think when the time comes and we get the all clear it is a conversation we will have to have. Its just a big decision & they too must feel nervous about moving forward & going for it!

Keep talking to him & spoil him rotten with his favorite dinner - surely that will win him over!!!!

I hope so...I mean he has agreed and everything he does points to him being ready. I guess I just need him to tell me one more time that he really is ready! After our loss, it seemed like a lot of his pain came from not being able to fix things (save the baby) and seeing me cry and not being able to do anything about it. I know he must be worried about this pregnancy as much as I am!

 

[KamIAm]

Sorry you're feeling rubbish, Kelly. So far since my little wobble a few weeks back I've been pretty good, but I know there will be more slumps to come, so I am hanging on to the good feelings for dear life at the moment! I think it is going to be much harder for me when I pass my due date, because then it will really hit home that he should have arrived by then and he never will. By Christmas I would have been 31 weeks, so I would have been all big and heavy and not able to drink etc. Now I am able to get into my normal clothes and able to drink - I just don't want to. It has felt the same with dancing. I go, and it's fun, but I can't help thinking I shouldn't be there.

Sending hugs. We'll get through Christmas together

Thanks Helen & Nat!!

Just a icky day... lots of thinking .. But I'll be alright, actually already feeling a bit better... Helen, once I hit my due date (wow, way back on August 15th!) I truly thought I'd be better... really.. But now I am catching myself doing the "Man, 1 year ago December 10th, I found out I was preg with Em" .. So I am starting to mark milestones with her pregnancy!! The vicious cycle ...

I honestly can't believe THIS MUCH time has crept past ... Wow ...

 

[Andypanda6570]

Sorry you're feeling rubbish, Kelly. So far since my little wobble a few weeks back I've been pretty good, but I know there will be more slumps to come, so I am hanging on to the good feelings for dear life at the moment! I think it is going to be much harder for me when I pass my due date, because then it will really hit home that he should have arrived by then and he never will. By Christmas I would have been 31 weeks, so I would have been all big and heavy and not able to drink etc. Now I am able to get into my normal clothes and able to drink - I just don't want to. It has felt the same with dancing. I go, and it's fun, but I can't help thinking I shouldn't be there.

Sending hugs. We'll get through Christmas together

Thanks Helen & Nat!!

Just a icky day... lots of thinking .. But I'll be alright, actually already feeling a bit better... Helen, once I hit my due date (wow, way back on August 15th!) I truly thought I'd be better... really.. But now I am catching myself doing the "Man, 1 year ago December 10th, I found out I was preg with Em" .. So I am starting to mark milestones with her pregnancy!! The vicious cycle ...

I honestly can't believe THIS MUCH time has crept past ... Wow ...

you know that was happening to me too. I was crying cause I know the day I conceived then I cried the day I found out for sure with the pregnancy test, after I knew for sure I was pregnant I figured out when I conceived
Remember that encounter I had with that lady telling me not to be sad and stuff? That was the same day I conceived Ava Also I was very close to my Grandmother I loved her so so much and I realized Ava was buried on her birthday 3/11/2011, how did it take me so long to realize that? I know exactly what you mean and what your feeling, it never ends, Kelly... it truly ,this pain, never ends..

 

[mhazzab]

oh Kelly sorry you have been having a bad day...I've been having a few of those recently...and expecting more to come.

I don't have much to say other than - love you lots, you and all the others on here mean so much to me, i sneak in here so many times during the day to get everyones updates, it's crazy! always here for you xxx

 

[kiki04]

I'm exactly where you are too... its like I am desperately looking for ways to cling on to her to keep her "real" in my life and make sure she is never forgotten. Some days I feel like I am strong... others so weak I could cry at the silliest little things. I have never looked through her memory box though. Like never. I had a special sock monkey made for each of my kids while I was pg. I got a large for my oldest, med for my second, small for my third, and a tiny one for Hadlee... it was made JUST FOR HER... and she never got to see it. It is tucked away in her memory box. I cant even open it cuz I know if I do, and I see HERS and hers alone... it was not made for anyone else in the entire world but her... I know it will trigger a bawl fest all over again. I am trying to avoid triggers right now cuz I feel darkness creeping up and I dont want to let it in... so the avoidance game right now it is.

 

[blav]

Well...

Mateo's birth certificate came in the mail today. It's bittersweet in a way. Just one more reminder that he's not here, but also nice to have his birth certificate and the memory that he was born alive.

I almost hate checking the mail sometimes though...always a reminder whether is a hospital bill or his social security card or this.

I'm sorry you're having a rough day Kelly Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts.

 

[dnlfinker]

Was thinking about this little boy in my building who is now age 5 and does not speak. Since I was a new mother and all, I had hard time to give my DD immunization. I often found myself fighting with the pediatrician because they were trying to convince me that it is OK to give my 2 month old (hardly 6 pound baby) 5 different shots at the same time. We eventually found a doctor who agreed to give one by one. (Switched at-least 3 doctors for her).Fast forward: We had a visit at pediatric office when she turned 18 month and it was time for her MMR shot (Measles, MUMS, Rubella). This immunization has been under careful watch for several years due to controversy that it can cause autism in children. I was always afraid of giving it to my DD but at 18 months follow up visit, I refused it yet again. The timing was back in July exactly when I found out about Emmuna's medical condition. I explained to our pediatrician the reason why I choose to refuse, and she seemed to understand. She knew about the children with same issues as Emmunah and mentioned that the quality of life was not good.
Thinking about the little boy today, I started to read a forum (other parent’s comments) about autism. I am just so scared right now, DD is supposed to start school in Sept and we will have no choice but to give it to her. The hell that we went through with my second daughter’s medical issues, I have zero confidence in giving shots to DD anytime soon. Most parents choose to follow doctor’s advice and follow the immunization schedule, but given the situation, I am not like others. I have only one daughter now and I will protect her 400%. As I am typing this message, I have this feeling of not wanting to get pregnant again. I have seen and read so many things that I am so scared to even try.
My hubby said something yesterday “You were reading about possible problems and might have brought the problem upon yourself". He was not saying it to be mean, it might be very true depending on the beliefs. When I was pregnant with Emmunah, I read through many forums as I was then already scared that something will go wrong. Not in a million years did I think that it could be me (to face such a difficult decision in life), but I was wrong to think that way

I don't know what to do....... Since ever we found out about Emmunah medical condition, I want to protect my one and only daughter. The time is running out and
I cant open my mouth right now to say, OK lets give her the immunization

Like I mentioned before, I dont know anymore if I want more children either, I am just too scared

 

[ericacaca]

Oh my goodness! Amanda. I have just logged on and have been shocked and relieved in the space of 5 minutes! I am so glad that all is ok. And that picture is just lovely

I'm still around ladies. Just not been awake enough to type. And this morning I had the most horrid dream about spotting and going into hospital etc (but in the most wierdest way and scariest way) that just stuck with me all day and has made me just want to cry my eyes out all the time! It just freaked me out so much - some dreams you just don't remember do you? This one just keeps on reoccuring in my head - its like all my fears rolled into the space of 10 minutes! Argh!

Hope you are all ok. I will try and be around more. I am so sorry for not being around as much for you as I want to be. I just keep on snoozing!

Erica xxx

 

[OliveBay]

Sending hugs to you Kelly, sorry to hear you're feeling down today

In fact, sending hugs to everyone on here - we all need a bit of moral support don't we?

I'm pretty exhausted from a day of putting on my big brave mask at work - its so tiring to keep it up and I don't even think I did a very good job at pretending to be ok (and I don't even care if people noticed!). On a happier note, I think I'm due to OV so its an early night for me and hubby tonight This means I'll be able to test by Christmas (trying not to get my hopes up too much but wouldn't a BFP be the best Christmas present ever?!!!!) And even if this isn't our month, at least we're having plenty of fun trying anyway

 

[blav]

Sending hugs to you Kelly, sorry to hear you're feeling down today

In fact, sending hugs to everyone on here - we all need a bit of moral support don't we?

I'm pretty exhausted from a day of putting on my big brave mask at work - its so tiring to keep it up and I don't even think I did a very good job at pretending to be ok (and I don't even care if people noticed!). On a happier note, I think I'm due to OV so its an early night for me and hubby tonight This means I'll be able to test by Christmas (trying not to get my hopes up too much but wouldn't a BFP be the best Christmas present ever?!!!!) And even if this isn't our month, at least we're having plenty of fun trying anyway

Yaaaay! I hope it's your month and our month too! It really would be the absolute BEST Christmas gift OF ALL TIME!

Have fun and sending you lots of

 

[jojo23]

GIRLS!!!! I just logged in now i cant believe i missed so much... amanda im so happy your ok..i freaked out as well last week when i had a bleed only to see a healthy lil bean in there too, looks like bleding is more commen than we think! thank god everything is good im so happy!

tanya hun im so sorry af got you hun, been thinkin bout you loads!! am always here!

well im 12 weeks on thursday yay lol have my scan next week so will be saying lots of prayers and positive thoughts.

how is everyone girls ive missed so much stupid time difference and work have me all over the place lol xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Jo, you know I was thinking the exact same thing the other night. Out of all the rainbow Mammies on here almost everyone has had a bleed of some sort & thank god for each and every one of you it has turned out to be ok. It gives us a little snapshot of the rest of the pregnant ladies in the world and shows us just how common it is.

Thanks Joelene, Ah I'm not too bad about it. Trying not to think about it but thats easier said than done considering this AF is super heavy and painful. (TMI sorry). I'm thinkin about you and little bubs all the time too. I hope you not finding work too hard coming up to Xmas. I bet your very busy now. Take lots of breaks if you need them. Its a tough job being on your feet all day with a little baba in tow. Oh my hairs not 4 different shades anymore. lol. I put another colour in it but sure it turned out as dark as ever. arrgg. lol. I guess it'll have to do.

LOL LOL i was thinking about your hair today actually wondering what you did with it? its so hard to do it yourself but so expensive to go to a salon hun isnt it. def down this way anyways!!! awe im sorry AF is so heavy hun it knocks the good out of you doesnt it... work is ok hun a little frustrated as its hard to get proper breaks for lunch etc so im just trying to work out how i can manage that at the moment but my boss is my cousin and we're super close and she knows im pregnant and ill tell the rest of the girls my news this week so that will make things easier! well for some good news i got a new puppy today lol im like a child but she's super cute im in love haha! just so nice to have something to take care of and love until this little one gets here! how are you feeling xxxxxxxxxxxxxx