Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[jojo23]

kelly sending you soooo much love from ireland and to all of you girls too your all amazing and beautiful and some of the nicest people i have ever come across! your all heroes to me xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[blav]

Well ladies...OH just got a call from his cousin whose wife is about 7 months pregnant. She was in a bad car accident and is in surgery now. We don't yet know if the baby is okay but are hoping and praying that they will both be okay. I do NOT want her to have to join us here

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hi all!

Kelly, so sorry you are having a rough time hon, no you're not the only one who puts on an act, I find it exhausting mentally to keep it up for too long. I hope we all find things easier after Christmas, I'm hoping that the thought of it is worse than it actually is, IYKWIM? Big

Nat, Hon I don't know what to say to you, I used to really stress about this too until I saw a really excellent documentary on British Channel 4 called Dispatches about the fellow who started the whole MMR scare, it's a well-respected journalist made doco series with no side to take and totally impartial and this one dug up lots of info about the whole thing. I don't know if it's available online or not, but it might be worth a shot to find it, it might put your mind at ease. Basically, the original study was done with only about 20-something patients, all of which were contacted knowing they already had autism, so no double-blind control group and all the parents were (obviously) looking for an answer to their children's condition, so very vulnerable to suggestion. The whole study was pretty flawed and there was money involved as well. Basically every rule for medical studies/trials was broken. It also turned out that the guy had applied for the patents to the single vaccines, so there was a LOT to gain from spreading this rumour of the combined vaccines causing autism. I wish i could remember his name but I'm pretty sure he was tried recently for medical malpractice or something in relation to his claims. Have a google hon and see if you can see it. Unfortunately due to his claims spreading and the chinese-whisper type effect there is now a growing problem with measles epidemics and without immunity it can be fatal. I'm not telling you what to do or trying to scare anyone but I struggled hard with this decision as well so thought I'd pass on what I uncovered from reliable sources - as so much of what is claimed has no reference or back-up it can't be relied upon. I'm not big on medicalisation either, Iprefer natural methods where possible so I'm not a "doctor knows best" type at all. As for what your husband said that's simply not possible hon, you were the victim of rotten luck, please don't find another way to blame yourselves.

Blav, Olivebay -GL on your Christmas BFP's, I really hope it happens for you both. Blav for Mateo's Birth certificate arriving.

Erica, nice to hear from you, glad you are well and sleepy!

Kiki, hope you are getting through OK hun.

ETA: Christine, don't worry hun about if you are pregnant without a period, lots of people seem to have gotten pregnant without one and it's fine.

Bride2b, I hope you get the funeral arranged quickly and it all goes well hon.

Andrea, I hope your doctor's appointment goes as well as it can, I hope your friend can come with you.

Tanya - Ha you're as bad as me for the pills and potions and self-diagnosis hehe. I wish we could have a real drink together too. Sorry you'r AF is giving you gip, hope it's over soon.


How's everyone else going? hope you are all well, I've nothing to report really, just hiding from the world and trying to mentally gear myself up for work tonight...

xxx

 

[Nikki_d72]

Oh Blav, you just posted that while I was still typing, I hope she's OK, all my thoughts and good vibes going her way...xxx

 

[KamIAm]

Was thinking about this little boy in my building who is now age 5 and does not speak. Since I was a new mother and all, I had hard time to give my DD immunization. I often found myself fighting with the pediatrician because they were trying to convince me that it is OK to give my 2 month old (hardly 6 pound baby) 5 different shots at the same time. We eventually found a doctor who agreed to give one by one. (Switched at-least 3 doctors for her).Fast forward: We had a visit at pediatric office when she turned 18 month and it was time for her MMR shot (Measles, MUMS, Rubella). This immunization has been under careful watch for several years due to controversy that it can cause autism in children. I was always afraid of giving it to my DD but at 18 months follow up visit, I refused it yet again. The timing was back in July exactly when I found out about Emmuna's medical condition. I explained to our pediatrician the reason why I choose to refuse, and she seemed to understand. She knew about the children with same issues as Emmunah and mentioned that the quality of life was not good.
Thinking about the little boy today, I started to read a forum (other parent’s comments) about autism. I am just so scared right now, DD is supposed to start school in Sept and we will have no choice but to give it to her. The hell that we went through with my second daughter’s medical issues, I have zero confidence in giving shots to DD anytime soon. Most parents choose to follow doctor’s advice and follow the immunization schedule, but given the situation, I am not like others. I have only one daughter now and I will protect her 400%. As I am typing this message, I have this feeling of not wanting to get pregnant again. I have seen and read so many things that I am so scared to even try.
My hubby said something yesterday “You were reading about possible problems and might have brought the problem upon yourself". He was not saying it to be mean, it might be very true depending on the beliefs. When I was pregnant with Emmunah, I read through many forums as I was then already scared that something will go wrong. Not in a million years did I think that it could be me (to face such a difficult decision in life), but I was wrong to think that way

I don't know what to do....... Since ever we found out about Emmunah medical condition, I want to protect my one and only daughter. The time is running out and
I cant open my mouth right now to say, OK lets give her the immunization

Like I mentioned before, I dont know anymore if I want more children either, I am just too scared

Hi Natalie!

Just wanted to send ya some hugs and try to lift you up a bit I honestly do NOT have any answers for you... The issue to have your child immunized is a person to person choice and I guess we all believe and feel differently on that BUT I do know that life is scary... Brining a child into this crazy ol' world is scary... That in itself is a personal choice, some choose to not even think about it while others throw caution to the wind and decide to and do the best ya can ...

I dunno Nat .... I hate to see you struggling... I pray that you find peace and comfort Hon' ... I don't know anything about your beliefs BUT I believe there is NO way YOU caused those issues with your second daughter.. For some reason, it was in His plan... unfortunately ... I still struggle with this.. I often wonder and question His doings, why He allows terrible people to deliver healthy children and others He takes .. All very different feelings, thoughts and beliefs on this matter... Just wanted to send you a HUGE cyber hug....

 

[KamIAm]

Well ladies...OH just got a call from his cousin whose wife is about 7 months pregnant. She was in a bad car accident and is in surgery now. We don't yet know if the baby is okay but are hoping and praying that they will both be okay. I do NOT want her to have to join us here

Oh Blav! I am praying for her and her baby... That is terrible!!!

 

[dnlfinker]

Blav, thats horrible! Hoping that everything is alright with baby and mommy. Keep us posted!


Sorry i am chatty today! I come home and there is two pic of babies hanging on my wall. I say nothing and my mother in law says "look at the pic your daughter cut from a magazine and pasted on white paper". I didnt like one of them because oit looked like one of those 3 D pictures at obgyn office. So i was good and i said nothing! 30 min later she leaves and my OH walks in. At dinner table i just mentioned that i dont like it, without giving him reason why. A bit later on , he takes it off and says that it looks like a sono and gives it to me to bring to trash.I felt as thought it was the first time he really felt ackward and reminded him of Emmunah (he kind of showed how he felt). It made me so happy, even to the point of not get angy at ML for posting it in the firsr place




By the way, somebody showed me this, have anybody tried using such product?
https://www.koshervitamins.com/Zahlers-Kosher-PurePurse-Shepherds-Purse-Alcohol-Free-4-FL-OZ

 

[Hellylou]

Blav - hope your cousin's wife is ok, that sounds awful!

Just to jump in on the immunisation/autism thing - some of you may know my son is autistic with learning difficulties, and he had the MMR jab at 12 months, but I knew things weren't right from about 2 weeks old. He was about 18 months old when things started to get really bad, but the problems were apparent way before he had that vaccine. He was also deprived of oxygen at birth as he grabbed his cord during labour and cut off his supply - he came out with it in his fist!

Anyway, hope everyone's ok. I was in tears this morning after waking up from a dream. I dreamed I thought I might be pregnant so I went to the docs and they scanned me to see, and there was this baby measuring 28 weeks (where I should be now) and I was so happy and confused because I had no bump. Then I felt all the kicks, and was rushing to tell everyone...

It's my 3 month marker coming up this Saturday...

 

[Andypanda6570]

Well ladies...OH just got a call from his cousin whose wife is about 7 months pregnant. She was in a bad car accident and is in surgery now. We don't yet know if the baby is okay but are hoping and praying that they will both be okay. I do NOT want her to have to join us here

OMG, I pray they both are ok, that is awful sending so many prayers for them, please let us know what happens.. XOXOXO

Blav, thats horrible! Hoping that everything is alright with baby and mommy. Keep us posted!


Sorry i am chatty today! I come home and there is two pic of babies hanging on my wall. I say nothing and my mother in law says "look at the pic your daughter cut from a magazine and pasted on white paper". I didnt like one of them because oit looked like one of those 3 D pictures at obgyn office. So i was good and i said nothing! 30 min later she leaves and my OH walks in. At dinner table i just mentioned that i dont like it, without giving him reason why. A bit later on , he takes it off and says that it looks like a sono and gives it to me to bring to trash.I felt as thought it was the first time he really felt ackward and reminded him of Emmunah (he kind of showed how he felt). It made me so happy, even to the point of not get angy at ML for posting it in the firsr place




By the way, somebody showed me this, have anybody tried using such product?
https://www.koshervitamins.com/Zahlers-Kosher-PurePurse-Shepherds-Purse-Alcohol-Free-4-FL-OZ

I am glad your husband showed some emotion that was his way of telling you he is hurt also, still .. About the MMR??? I just don't know , Nat. It is a personal choice. You have to remember my first son Christopher was born was in 1991 so things were different back then. MMR was nothing for me to worry about and all my kids had them and were fine. My middle son Nicholas was born in 1994 and my last son Anthony in 2000 so I am not up to date on what is safe and what is not. I just got all my kids their shots and that was it sorry, I can't be more help. But you do what you feel and that is the right thing.


Sorry I don't know of and never heard of that link you posted..
WOW!!!I am a page full of info today, sorry

XOOXOXXO

 

[Andypanda6570]

Blav - hope your cousin's wife is ok, that sounds awful!

Just to jump in on the immunisation/autism thing - some of you may know my son is autistic with learning difficulties, and he had the MMR jab at 12 months, but I knew things weren't right from about 2 weeks old. He was about 18 months old when things started to get really bad, but the problems were apparent way before he had that vaccine. He was also deprived of oxygen at birth as he grabbed his cord during labour and cut off his supply - he came out with it in his fist!

Anyway, hope everyone's ok. I was in tears this morning after waking up from a dream. I dreamed I thought I might be pregnant so I went to the docs and they scanned me to see, and there was this baby measuring 28 weeks (where I should be now) and I was so happy and confused because I had no bump. Then I felt all the kicks, and was rushing to tell everyone...

It's my 3 month marker coming up this Saturday...

 

[Nikki_d72]

Aw Helen, sorry about the dream. xxx

Any word, Blav?

 

[Andypanda6570]

I just wanted to say these Macy's Ads are killing me here....... They are SOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo
annoying

Ahhh... I am ok now

 

[Bride2b]

I feel like such a terrible person, my cousin & his girlfriend had their baby boy this morning......I just sat and cried. I feel so selfish for feeling sad as they deserve a little baby, I dont feel sad that he has arrived, I just feel sad!x

 

[blav]

I feel like such a terrible person, my cousin & his girlfriend had their baby boy this morning......I just sat and cried. I feel so selfish for feeling sad as they deserve a little baby, I dont feel sad that he has arrived, I just feel sad!x

I know exactly what you mean, I mention these feelings in my blog a lot (not sure if we can put links here but its https://familystartingjourney.blogspot.com/). I had originally planned to post more about trying again and such but we've decided not to tell our family even after we find out I'm pregnant so I'm writing them, but not posting and will post in a few months because my family reads the blog! It's been really theraputic to write about what I'm feeling, maybe it would help you too.

As far as OH's cousin's wife, she seems to be doing well. The surgery was on her leg thankfully and the baby is doing fine (thank goodness). They are going to keep her in the hospital for a little while to monitor the baby but everything is looking good right now.

I also talked to OH last night to make sure he wants to try again this month and he said that he does without a doubt, so that is a big relief. We had talked about it before and kind of left things at, we'll think about it. Then, I kind of decided that we would but never really asked him how he felt about it, but he didn't seem to stop me so I'm glad that he had a chance to voice his concerns if he had them. It feels so good to be on the same page. I love everything about that man so much.

 

[mhazzab]

I feel like such a terrible person, my cousin & his girlfriend had their baby boy this morning......I just sat and cried. I feel so selfish for feeling sad as they deserve a little baby, I dont feel sad that he has arrived, I just feel sad!x

don't feel bad...this is totally normal, I was pregnant at the same time as three other people in my life, I cried when each of them gave birth. It's just so unfair that our babies died and we miss them so much, its normal to be upset when other people get to take theirs home, of course you are happy for them too, just sad for yourself. xxx

 

[Bride2b]

As far as OH's cousin's wife, she seems to be doing well. The surgery was on her leg thankfully and the baby is doing fine (thank goodness). They are going to keep her in the hospital for a little while to monitor the baby but everything is looking good right now.

I also talked to OH last night to make sure he wants to try again this month and he said that he does without a doubt, so that is a big relief. We had talked about it before and kind of left things at, we'll think about it. Then, I kind of decided that we would but never really asked him how he felt about it, but he didn't seem to stop me so I'm glad that he had a chance to voice his concerns if he had them. It feels so good to be on the same page. I love everything about that man so much.

Glad your cousins wife is ok, and so is the baby....it just seems that there is one stress after another! But that is great news!

And for you and your OH, so glad you got to properly chat about it and he is ready ......how exciting that you get to start for your rainbow, so with that I wish you .....

 

[kiki04]

OH I am so glad they are ok!!!!

As for the MMR- I have done ALOT of research on vaccines. My 2 oldest had the normal vax schedule but then I got wise. My daughter has only had 1 vax and I believe it was at 18 months We were going to do the delayed vax schedule but then decided not to even do it. The correlation between the MMR and autism, is being stated that it is about the TIMING of it... Around the age of 12 months is a time of massive brain development. By influencing the childs system by putting a foreign substance in to interrupt the natural rhythm is how it is being questioned about the development of autism. Alot of ppl do a delayed vax schedule and put off the MMR until 18-24 months. This is very common actually.. well in Canada and the USA anyways.

Also if you research the amount of vax from say 1980 to the amount of vax to now the numbers have grown in astounding and disgusting amounts There is just too much now and it is becoming a matter of do the pros outweigh the cons anymore???

If you read the link below it is a study about vax vs unvax people and how healthy they are. It shows that VAX people are actually more prone to developing many diseases later in life.

https://healthfreedoms.org/2011/10/14/big-study-vaccinated-kids-2-5-more-diseases-than-unvaccinated/

There are just WAY too many unknown chemicals and foreign substances in those damn vax now days I dont trust them. They say mercury has been "outlaw'd" yet many of the current vax still contain mercury!!!

So after my long winded note.... if you are worried about the MMR... delaying it to 18-24 months does reduce the risk

 

[kiki04]

Oh and I think I ovulated!! I had an OPK last night I wasn't sure if it was pos or not... it was THAT close... and then this morning temp shot way up so I think it was for sure a +OPK Took til way late in my cycle but at least it finally happened!!

 

[Andypanda6570]

I feel like such a terrible person, my cousin & his girlfriend had their baby boy this morning......I just sat and cried. I feel so selfish for feeling sad as they deserve a little baby, I dont feel sad that he has arrived, I just feel sad!x

Your perfectly normal. Let me tell you I have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and when I got pregnant with my Ava at 40 it was a complete shock. About 8 weeks later my sister in law who also has 3 boys (She is 37) 15,12 and 9 and who swore wanted NOOOOOOOO more kids got pregnant also. At first I was a little pissed but then I thought maybe we both will have girls and wont that be great and they will be 8 weeks apart well after I gave birth to my Ava at 20 weeks, I could not even see my sister in law, at Ava's funeral I would not even look and she kept her coat on the whole time, I think she knew how I would feel seeing her stomach. I didn't know what to do ..how was i going to go to her baby shower,Baptism and so on, all I did was cry
then on April 18th at 16 weeks she lost her baby also.. I could not believe it even the doctors were in shock that we lost our babies 7 weeks apart , i felt awful. Then I felt terrible for avoiding her and not being happy for her. Then I realized I didn't wish anything bad on her I love her I just was grieving and I could not be around pregnant women and still 9 months after I lost Ava, I can't be around newborns you are perfectly normal and you need to know this, these feeling will pass but it takes a lot of time.
XOXOXO

 

[Andypanda6570]

Oh and I think I ovulated!! I had an OPK last night I wasn't sure if it was pos or not... it was THAT close... and then this morning temp shot way up so I think it was for sure a +OPK Took til way late in my cycle but at least it finally happened!!

I am sooooooooo happy for you..
XOXOXOXO