Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[winterwonder]

Morning, everyone!

Well my friend had her baby girl yesterday, and stuck a picture on facebook and now i feel like s**t. I'm feeling really depressive today,(sorry if TMI) i found some odd looking moles/lumps on my nipples last night, and have made a doc app for monday, still no AF (all i feel like i talk about is my lack of AF!!!), felt really ill last night for no reason, still feeling a bit icky today and i just cant be bothered i just want to hibernate forever!

sorry to be so down.

Christine xx

Awww I'm sorry you were upset by your friends baby...I've had that happen to me several times. This is going to sound awful but I have hidden those people from my news feed right now so I dont see their updates it's just too hard.

I hope everything goes okay for you at the doctors with the lumps, its probably a hormones thing but its best to get checked.Is that about 12 weeks since you gave birth? It took ten weeks for my first AF so you are not far off me, I hope it comes soon (never thought I would ever wish for that!)

Hugs xx

I did just that, i've now hidden her from my feed, i'e done that to a few people with kids! Its just over 13 weeks now, but i think i had a small af (day and a half) about 4 weeks afterwards but nothing since, i also continued spotting after that af for about 6-7 weeks.

I'm going to mention it all to doctor on monday, and i just hope he listens.

xx

 

[Bride2b]

Morning, everyone!

Well my friend had her baby girl yesterday, and stuck a picture on facebook and now i feel like s**t. I'm feeling really depressive today,(sorry if TMI) i found some odd looking moles/lumps on my nipples last night, and have made a doc app for monday, still no AF (all i feel like i talk about is my lack of AF!!!), felt really ill last night for no reason, still feeling a bit icky today and i just cant be bothered i just want to hibernate forever!

sorry to be so down.

Christine xx

Christine, my cousins girlfriend had their first baby yesterday.....I have been looking on their facebook pages and want to see a picture. I have no idea why as I know it will probably kill me, but I have some desire to see it!! I was upset yesterday when I heard the news....I think because memories of the delivery room are so fresh and painful. It might just be that I'm naturally curious to see the baby as me & my cousin were really quite close as kids, and I remember him being born (it makes me feel so old!!!)

And the nipple thing....I had little scab like things on mine the weekend before I had Bertie & asked in the 2nd tri forums about it, it appeared to be colostrum coming through...I wonder if this was anything to do with my body prepping for birth? I dont know. Anyway my milk did come through after Bertie was born, and luckily have gone down now. But this morning I had a similar scab looking thing, so took it off and had milk come out! Strange as there doesnt feel like there is much / any left in there!

 

[kiki04]

My Milk was already beginning to come as well and I lost Hadlee at 17 weeks! And that was one thing I got with all 4 of my babies is those weird lumps on my nipples... and a coworker of mine got it too. Its probably just your milk hun

 

[blav]

Did anyone else see that the Duggar's suffered a miscarriage (not sure how far along but it said they were at the appointment to find out gender and didn't find a heartbeat so I'm thinking somewhere between 15-20 weeks).

I feel so evil for thinking this because I'm sure that they are so sad about this miscarriage, we all know what they're probably going through. But at the same time I just want to be like, my GOD they have 19 other healthy children leave some for the rest of us! I'm almost angry that they are so selfish taking all the healthy babies (like there is some limit on them or something).

Someone smack me back to reality.

 

[Bride2b]

I think if you have 19 kids at some point your luck will run out......we only want one healthy little one!!!! In the mean time I will just have to keep my dogs as my babies, even though they are probably as badly behaved as some kids as I noticed this morning the have peeled a section of my bloody funky wallpaper off that I put up in the summer!!!!

 

[rossyrozela]

sorry to all the mums who have lost their little ones and for the mums who are pregannat aBIG CONGRATS

 

[rossyrozela]

We were escorted from reception by the head bereavment nurse lady.
She was lovley but still no answers.
She took my bloods in a seperate room.
Not sure this is normal, and my husband thinks she was choosing her words very carefully.

He suspects they are investigating clinical negligence. i think its just because we complained about our care (I HOPE!) I cant even imagine what will happen to my mental health if my query about the clinical side is taken on as a complaint.
xxxxx

Hiya sorry for your loss and i too had to terminate at 20 weeks and 5 days ,this was in October the 20th and i was not given any care atall by the hospital,i was told to go on the internet and lok up maristopes then book it.I too have put in acomplain and still waiting,it has been over the 25 days period that they say they will respond .Have they responded to your complain yet ?

 

[kiki04]

Did anyone else see that the Duggar's suffered a miscarriage (not sure how far along but it said they were at the appointment to find out gender and didn't find a heartbeat so I'm thinking somewhere between 15-20 weeks).

I feel so evil for thinking this because I'm sure that they are so sad about this miscarriage, we all know what they're probably going through. But at the same time I just want to be like, my GOD they have 19 other healthy children leave some for the rest of us! I'm almost angry that they are so selfish taking all the healthy babies (like there is some limit on them or something).

Someone smack me back to reality.

Can I take a stab at smacking you into reality? lol And I say this jokingly as a friend here...

We all know this pain, wether it be your 1st or your 20th child.. IT HURTS LIKE HELL! I would never ever ever wish this on anyone...ever... not even the Duggers I feel just awful for that family

 

[Bride2b]

Someone should block me from using google! My best friend keeps telling me to get off it but I have an addiction, especially sat here all ady with crap daytime TV. Anyway just found this

"You can become pregnant again quickly after the birth, so it's a good idea to think about which method you are going to use before you have sex again. Don't wait for your periods to return, or until you have your postnatal check, before you use contraception as you could get pregnant again before then. This is because you ovulate (release an egg) about two weeks before a period, so you can be fertile but not realise it."

Taken from https://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/newparents/contraception.asp

I dont know if you all knew this anyway?

I am concentrating my efforts on ticking off every new day as a new day closer to trying again....

 

[blav]

Did anyone else see that the Duggar's suffered a miscarriage (not sure how far along but it said they were at the appointment to find out gender and didn't find a heartbeat so I'm thinking somewhere between 15-20 weeks).

I feel so evil for thinking this because I'm sure that they are so sad about this miscarriage, we all know what they're probably going through. But at the same time I just want to be like, my GOD they have 19 other healthy children leave some for the rest of us! I'm almost angry that they are so selfish taking all the healthy babies (like there is some limit on them or something).

Someone smack me back to reality.

Can I take a stab at smacking you into reality? lol And I say this jokingly as a friend here...

We all know this pain, wether it be your 1st or your 20th child.. IT HURTS LIKE HELL! I would never ever ever wish this on anyone...ever... not even the Duggers I feel just awful for that family

Oh I agree, which is why I felt terrible that I thought that for even a second. It truly doesn't matter if it's the 1st or 20th. I know the pain they are surely going through and just feel awful for them.

Someone should block me from using google! My best friend keeps telling me to get off it but I have an addiction, especially sat here all ady with crap daytime TV. Anyway just found this

"You can become pregnant again quickly after the birth, so it's a good idea to think about which method you are going to use before you have sex again. Don't wait for your periods to return, or until you have your postnatal check, before you use contraception as you could get pregnant again before then. This is because you ovulate (release an egg) about two weeks before a period, so you can be fertile but not realise it."

Taken from https://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/newparents/contraception.asp

I dont know if you all knew this anyway?

I am concentrating my efforts on ticking off every new day as a new day closer to trying again....

I started my period exactly 5 weeks after Mateo was born (about 3 weeks after bleeding stopped). I felt the same way and still do...I should be fertile next weekend sex:) but have the OPK just in case...since it's my first period I wasn't sure how regular it would be and if I'll ovulate noramlly but the period itself was completly normal. I feel like I've been quite lucky when it comes to having a normal AF so soon and I hope that is how it is for you too Suzanne!

 

[mhazzab]

Someone should block me from using google! My best friend keeps telling me to get off it but I have an addiction, especially sat here all ady with crap daytime TV. Anyway just found this

"You can become pregnant again quickly after the birth, so it's a good idea to think about which method you are going to use before you have sex again. Don't wait for your periods to return, or until you have your postnatal check, before you use contraception as you could get pregnant again before then. This is because you ovulate (release an egg) about two weeks before a period, so you can be fertile but not realise it."

Taken from https://www.babyworld.co.uk/information/newparents/contraception.asp

I dont know if you all knew this anyway?

I am concentrating my efforts on ticking off every new day as a new day closer to trying again....

i ovulated first, 8 weeks after birth, then had my first AF at 10 weeks, so I can see how it could catch people out! you kinda expect AF to come first don't you?

x

 

[Bride2b]

I really didnt realise this before! I am a bit of a novice I guess with all this pregnancy stuff....its not anything I even considered before we started TTC last year, there is so much to learn!

I just ordered a bulk supply of OPKs off ebay ready so they dont get lost in the Christmas post so they will be ready and waiting hopefully at the end of next month when hopefully we can try again.

It seems really weird but I feel really positive when I think about trying again. Is it wrong to feel positive about trying again? My friend asked me today if we had discussed it, and I said no, only because I dont want people to try and persuade us otherwise, although she is great and I dont think she would, and has been such a major rock for me over the last week or so! Its not something me and OH need to discuss, I know he wants to try again just from some of the things he has said.

Oh and after my rant yesterday we had a chat about housework etc and he said he was just tired when he made the comments. We were chatting in the loft earlier..as he was decking it out with boards... and he did talk about happened, which made me feel good as I want us to talk about it and not bury it, as I think if you bury it sooner or later the grief will rear its ugly head.

Hope your all ok ladies. Is anyone testing soon? Hope all those little rainbows are being good xxx

 

[mhazzab]

I really didnt realise this before! I am a bit of a novice I guess with all this pregnancy stuff....its not anything I even considered before we started TTC last year, there is so much to learn!

I just ordered a bulk supply of OPKs off ebay ready so they dont get lost in the Christmas post so they will be ready and waiting hopefully at the end of next month when hopefully we can try again.

It seems really weird but I feel really positive when I think about trying again. Is it wrong to feel positive about trying again? My friend asked me today if we had discussed it, and I said no, only because I dont want people to try and persuade us otherwise, although she is great and I dont think she would, and has been such a major rock for me over the last week or so! Its not something me and OH need to discuss, I know he wants to try again just from some of the things he has said.

Oh and after my rant yesterday we had a chat about housework etc and he said he was just tired when he made the comments. We were chatting in the loft earlier..as he was decking it out with boards... and he did talk about happened, which made me feel good as I want us to talk about it and not bury it, as I think if you bury it sooner or later the grief will rear its ugly head.

Hope your all ok ladies. Is anyone testing soon? Hope all those little rainbows are being good xxx

It's not wrong to feel positive about trying again. You will probably have moments where you feel guilty, I know I did for thinking of it so soon after losing my girls, but it's just human nature to want to try again, I think. My husband told me to think of it as giving our daughters a little brother or sister, that made me feel much better.
I started taking the vitamins again a couple of weeks after the birth, and using the opks / temping about a month afterwards, to get to know my cycle again.

I think I said this somewhere else, but we didn't discuss with anyone else TTC again, we decided we didn't want to hear anyone else's opinions...how can they decide what's best for us - they didn't lose their child at such a late stage, it was us, and only we knew when we were ready. Actually, we would have tried sooner if my stupid body hadn't bled for so long!!

I need my loft floored, you reckon your OH will come do mine? My hubby is crap at DIY, lol!!!

xx

 

[Bride2b]

My OH is not great at DIY....there is usually something that goes wrong, this time he made a hole in the roof lining with the edge of one of the boards! I have a whole host of DIY mishaps he has made, but bless him he does try!

What prenatals did you take? I looked at my tub of folic acid today and wondered when I should start taking them as if we get the all clear in 6 weeks I am not going to waste a minute of TTC & I want this next one to be super healthy! Did you take any pregnacare or similar? I didnt last time & did wonder if I should. I did have a really healthy diet before....as did slimming world for about a year and still try to follow the general rules to keep the love handles at bay! Since falling pregnant all I wanted to eat was stuff like cheese burgers!!!! I did go off chocolate, but since having Bertie I am back on it! I will make sure my diet goes back to super healthy getting 5 a day soon, but to be honest at the moment chocolate is far more appealing than grapes and it makes me feel better! I just want to make sure that I am in the best health for TTC.

x

 

[KamIAm]

:wave: Hi my Friends ...

See all is well in BnB Land ...

Tanya, I just absolutely LOVE LOVE your ornaments on your Christmas tree... You are such an amazing mom and she looks JUST like you... So stinkin' pretty!

Jojo, Yay!! 12 weeks!! Already?? Wheww! LOL... Are you showing any yet???

Nikki, just thinking loads about you.... Hope your doing Ok... Sending ya a BIG Cyber hug!!!

Andrea, How in the heck are you doing lady?? You seem a bit quieter, so I am hoping that is a good sign that you are doing well.. XOXO

Nat, Hope you are keeping that beautiful chin up today... Just know you are never alone and we love ya bunches!

Helen, where the heck have you been lil missy? Oh, Probably cleaning house and getting ready for some change??? You are gonna be super busy, keep us posted...

Kiki, Hey Hon, how are you doing?? Still think about you sharing your Christmas idea from Hadlee... AMAZING! You are such a great mom So thoughtful...

Amanda, Hope you are feeling better and your booty is staying in bed, or at least resting some... I send lil prayers your way everyday....

Mhairi, Lil bean treating you well? He/She behaving themselves? Are you feeling better?? Can't believe how fast time is flying for all our lil rainbows ...

Hayley, how your lil bump going?? Feeling better?? I can't EVER remember how far along you are... I know I have said this before but I am really gonna have to keep a calendar hahaha ...

Bride2b and Blav... I'm not sure if I've ever really properly (if you even can online) introduce myself ..LOL.. I'm Kelly...:wave: Sending you both some hugs!!

Erica, your lil one behaving themselves as well??

Anyone hear from Suzanne lately? I haven't scrolled back thru all the chit chat far enough to see if she's be online lately or how she's doing?

Who else am I missing?? I know I am!

Well, AFM.... I'm hanging in there... Trying to keep myself busy.. With all the Christmas activities and our family vacation, kind of easy to do... But I do catch myself thinking... "Ah, Emma was suppose to be here with us" with everything we do.... This weekend I am taking the kids to a little town that is about an hour drive.. It's called Santa Claus, Indiana.. They always have so much excitement and the kids love it, but I was suppose to be taking Emma for her first time ... So, I am just battling back those thoughts and truly enjoying the time I am blessed with my other children ... I did see in the news that Michelle Dugger lost her lil one and noticed immediately all the news coverage they got and people saying stuff like "Oh, she has so many other children" "she should be thankful for all her living children"... Man, that killed me when I heard all those comments... Broke my heart... I imagine that is what people still think about me as well, in fact when I first lost Emma, so many people did say those words to me .. "Well just be thankful that God has given you and allowed you to keep your other children".... Wow... Suckerpunch right in the gut... Yes, I am thankful and everyday I wake up and they are alive and healthy, I thank God but that doesn't lessen the pain or make you just get over your lil ones death... I don't know how it feels loosing your only child, I couldn't imagine, to me it does seem harder but the pain of loosing a child ..wheww.. I wouldn't wish that on anyone .. Sorry for the rant, man that just came from left field...

On a more lighter, fun note... I went to the salon today.. Had a transformation. hahaha.. She turned me back into a woman! Since Emma's death, I haven't cared at all about my appearance ... Well, she fixed me up today...Woot Woot.. I love it..Its a wonder what a lil salon time will do for your spirit

Love you all and hope you have a great weekend!!!!

 

[mhazzab]

My OH is not great at DIY....there is usually something that goes wrong, this time he made a hole in the roof lining with the edge of one of the boards! I have a whole host of DIY mishaps he has made, but bless him he does try!

What prenatals did you take? I looked at my tub of folic acid today and wondered when I should start taking them as if we get the all clear in 6 weeks I am not going to waste a minute of TTC & I want this next one to be super healthy! Did you take any pregnacare or similar? I didnt last time & did wonder if I should. I did have a really healthy diet before....as did slimming world for about a year and still try to follow the general rules to keep the love handles at bay! Since falling pregnant all I wanted to eat was stuff like cheese burgers!!!! I did go off chocolate, but since having Bertie I am back on it! I will make sure my diet goes back to super healthy getting 5 a day soon, but to be honest at the moment chocolate is far more appealing than grapes and it makes me feel better! I just want to make sure that I am in the best health for TTC.

x

I just took Boots conception vitamins, contains folic acid plus all the other stuff too, then when I got my BFP switched to the pregnancy ones. I thought it couldn't do any harm. They recommend taking folic acid for 3 months (i think?) before pregnancy, (ideally), so it wouldn't do any harm to start again now...you can actually get folic acid on prescription, my doctor gave me some.
you diet sounds much healthier than mine

 

[Bride2b]

I might start the folic acid tomorrow then! I need to send my exemption certificate back for my medical care, so think I'll just buy the folic acid, think I have a fair few left from last time!

 

[yazoo]

:wave: Hi my Friends ...

See all is well in BnB Land ...

Tanya, I just absolutely LOVE LOVE your ornaments on your Christmas tree... You are such an amazing mom and she looks JUST like you... So stinkin' pretty!

Jojo, Yay!! 12 weeks!! Already?? Wheww! LOL... Are you showing any yet???

Nikki, just thinking loads about you.... Hope your doing Ok... Sending ya a BIG Cyber hug!!!

Andrea, How in the heck are you doing lady?? You seem a bit quieter, so I am hoping that is a good sign that you are doing well.. XOXO

Nat, Hope you are keeping that beautiful chin up today... Just know you are never alone and we love ya bunches!

Helen, where the heck have you been lil missy? Oh, Probably cleaning house and getting ready for some change??? You are gonna be super busy, keep us posted...

Kiki, Hey Hon, how are you doing?? Still think about you sharing your Christmas idea from Hadlee... AMAZING! You are such a great mom So thoughtful...

Amanda, Hope you are feeling better and your booty is staying in bed, or at least resting some... I send lil prayers your way everyday....

Mhairi, Lil bean treating you well? He/She behaving themselves? Are you feeling better?? Can't believe how fast time is flying for all our lil rainbows ...

Hayley, how your lil bump going?? Feeling better?? I can't EVER remember how far along you are... I know I have said this before but I am really gonna have to keep a calendar hahaha ...

Bride2b and Blav... I'm not sure if I've ever really properly (if you even can online) introduce myself ..LOL.. I'm Kelly...:wave: Sending you both some hugs!!

Erica, your lil one behaving themselves as well??

Anyone hear from Suzanne lately? I haven't scrolled back thru all the chit chat far enough to see if she's be online lately or how she's doing?

Who else am I missing?? I know I am!

Well, AFM.... I'm hanging in there... Trying to keep myself busy.. With all the Christmas activities and our family vacation, kind of easy to do... But I do catch myself thinking... "Ah, Emma was suppose to be here with us" with everything we do.... This weekend I am taking the kids to a little town that is about an hour drive.. It's called Santa Claus, Indiana.. They always have so much excitement and the kids love it, but I was suppose to be taking Emma for her first time ... So, I am just battling back those thoughts and truly enjoying the time I am blessed with my other children ... I did see in the news that Michelle Dugger lost her lil one and noticed immediately all the news coverage they got and people saying stuff like "Oh, she has so many other children" "she should be thankful for all her living children"... Man, that killed me when I heard all those comments... Broke my heart... I imagine that is what people still think about me as well, in fact when I first lost Emma, so many people did say those words to me .. "Well just be thankful that God has given you and allowed you to keep your other children".... Wow... Suckerpunch right in the gut... Yes, I am thankful and everyday I wake up and they are alive and healthy, I thank God but that doesn't lessen the pain or make you just get over your lil ones death... I don't know how it feels loosing your only child, I couldn't imagine, to me it does seem harder but the pain of loosing a child ..wheww.. I wouldn't wish that on anyone .. Sorry for the rant, man that just came from left field...

On a more lighter, fun note... I went to the salon today.. Had a transformation. hahaha.. She turned me back into a woman! Since Emma's death, I haven't cared at all about my appearance ... Well, she fixed me up today...Woot Woot.. I love it..Its a wonder what a lil salon time will do for your spirit

Love you all and hope you have a great weekend!!!!

Aww thanks Kelly, i love them too- I can't stop looking at them lol. I think its perfect for Jakob and its something we will always have & hopefully I will be able to add to the collect when I am blessed with a little rainbow. Shucks you'll give me a big head. DD is a pretty little thing though. I love my girl to bits & dunno where I'd be without her.

Kelly your hair is fab. I love it. really suits you. Getting your hair done in a salon really does make you feel so much better doesn't it. I think a wee trip to the hairdressers is in order for me.

Oh I'm going to google that town now. I bet is brilliant. DD would love it. I read online today about the Duggars and regardless of how many kids anybody has its still heartbreaking to lose a baby. Someone actually said to me "at least you have your daughter"- I really couldn't believe it. Yes I am blessed to have her and I count my blessings everyday but because I have one child doesn't mean that the desire for another isn't as strong as anybody who doesn't have one or that its any easier to deal with a loss because you have a child/children already. Anyway enough of my ranting but I seen some horrible horrible things written about that family today and I think its disgusting.

I'm logging off now. Wanna watch American Horror Story. Is anyone watching it? Its soo good.

Nite nite gals. Chat tomorrow.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am still here. Just wanted you all to know i love you and think about you all the time. I am doing fine and my diet is really going well
I could not walk this week , cause it rained all week, but tomorrow I am back at work So far I have been on folic acid for like 8 months. I got my appt with my doctor on Monday, I have not been there since I lost Ava My friend is coming with me , I just can't go alone. I got a lot done, my wisdom teeth are out, got the flu ,shot took care of all my blood tests and this appt monday so when I start trying I will have a a lot done that I couldn't while pregnant.

Love You All

 

[kiki04]

Soooo I am 3dpo and getting a tiny tinge of pink when I wipe. Could IB happen that early? I have never had it Mind you I also had really strong O cramps this month which I get ov pains but not ov cramps IYKWIM so I guess it could be O bleeding too right