Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[KamIAm]

I had a big temp dip on my chart today....5dpo. If that shoots back up tomorrow I think I might start to freak out. Spotting AND a temp dip... ummmm. Someone stop my brain from even going there...please!

Woman!!!! You now officially have another stalker!!!!

Can't wait to follow and hear all your updates!!! I have EVERY STINKIN" thing crossed for you Hon' ....

 

[Nikki_d72]

Everything went well. He told me I could try right now and why do I want to loose weight first? I said I would just feel better doing it this way. He always gives me a vaginal sonogram at every visit he said everything looks great and whenever I want to try then try. He then said he thinks in his opinion that Ava did have Trisomy 18 he can't prove it but he highly suspects it He said Andrea it was a fluke it wont happen again and go for it. I asked about doing the CVS and he said he wouldn't want me to do that cause the miscarriage rate is high. So now I don't know what I would do, i don't want to wait for Amnio cause then it would be to far into pregnancy, what do they do earlier do the do scans maybe to see something.? I don't want to get to the second trimester and find bad news. I am happy but confused now..

Hi Andrea, glad it went well and he gave you the green light honey. I can understand your worries about next time, though you know the odds of having the same problem are ridiculously small. I know statistics are cold comfor though for us.

Do they do the Nuchal Translucency Test along with bloods there? (think it might be called the triple screen, but check that) I'm sure they would. It's a combination of a measurement of the nuchal fold at the back of the baby's neck done by scan at 12 weeks and bloods done by 12 or 13 weeks, I think. Together they give a risk factor analysis for chromosomal abnormalities. It is not a diagnostic tool, so doesn't give solid answers, but what it does give is a strong indication of risk, so further diagnostic testing can either be reccommended (such as amnio or CVS), or if the risk is low (as most times it is), then the need for amnio or CVS is ruled out. The best thing is it's completely non-invasive to the baby, just a scan and blood test for you. It may be worth an ask, or a google about it. I'm sure it will be done in the states if it's done here. There are also many clues picked up on U/S, such as femur length and a bone in the nose but I'm not sure if these are able to be picked up on the 12 week scan or only the 20. Sorry I'm no help there, does anyone else know?

I think, hard as it is, Andrea you may have to just find the faith that it will all be OK. I have no guarantees that my waters won't break again, I just have to trust that that happened because it was twins - there are a few things the doctors can do to watch out for changes but ultimately it is a gamble. It's so hard I know but anything could happen to anyone at any time and I can't allow my life to be crippled by all those what-if's to the extent that I don't live, same goes for trying again for me. I know I'll be singing a different tune if I do get pregnant! I know it will be terrifying and I know I haven't really given myself enough time to heal but I feel that I will just have to deal with it as I go along because I don't have time to spare. The age gap with my only DD worries me more than my physical age, to be honest, I never wanted her to be on her own this long. (Though my Mum just admitted to me that she hit menopause early at about 45 - 48 ish so that scared the cr*p outa me! She started her periods early too and so did I, eek!) Obviously you have to do what's right for you. What I'm prepared to do may be completely different to what you are and so on, I'm not saying I'm doing blah so you have to as well! You will know where your own boundaries are, the point I'm making is that if we allowed ourselves to think about every single thing that could go wrong in life we'd never leave the house, or let our children out! We can't live like that. We've had a taste of the nastiness that can happen in pregnancy though so we focus on that, it's natural. I hope you can get past the fear and allow yourself some hope hon. Right, now to fully convince myself the same, hehe!

I hope you do find the strength to try again honey and I hope you get your rainbow soon. I wish you all the love and luck in the world. xxx

 

[collie_crazy]

Thank you girls I am trying hard not to stress but it's hard not to, you know? I keep telling myself they said this might happen but it's concerned me because there has been nothing for a whole week and then this again it's not as heavy as last week but it's pretty steady and started like a full flow no spotting.

No cramps and no clots though so hoping my little gummy bear is holding out ok in there! Next scan is on Wednesday so I don't see any point in calling them tomorrow because they wouldn't be able to get me in any quicker. Hoping it stops soon it just feels so wrong

 

[kiki04]

Does that help just a teeny tiny lil itty bitty bit?

 

[KamIAm]

Thank you girls I am trying hard not to stress but it's hard not to, you know? I keep telling myself they said this might happen but it's concerned me because there has been nothing for a whole week and then this again it's not as heavy as last week but it's pretty steady and started like a full flow no spotting.

No cramps and no clots though so hoping my little gummy bear is holding out ok in there! Next scan is on Wednesday so I don't see any point in calling them tomorrow because they wouldn't be able to get me in any quicker. Hoping it stops soon it just feels so wrong

Amanda.... Did you bleed like this with Emily???? I am totally clueless with this (I've never done this with any of my pregnancies) ...

 

[kiki04]

I had a big temp dip on my chart today....5dpo. If that shoots back up tomorrow I think I might start to freak out. Spotting AND a temp dip... ummmm. Someone stop my brain from even going there...please!

Woman!!!! You now officially have another stalker!!!!

Can't wait to follow and hear all your updates!!! I have EVERY STINKIN" thing crossed for you Hon' ....

 

[mhazzab]

Lol Kiki well said with the hugs for Amanda that should do it xxx

 

[KamIAm]

Holy Moly Kiki! hahahaha! Just seen all the lovin' you left ... Mercy, how long did it take you to do all that? Very well put I must say! Perfect amounts of lovin's for Amanda!

 

[yazoo]

Tanya, sorry you're feeling yuk but I'm hpoing it's a good sign for you, what DPO you at? 4 months is hard, take it easy on yourself hun. Love to you and Jakob xx

Hey Nikki- I'm only on CD9 right now. I think I am going to take a more relaxed approach this time. This past couple of cycles I have been setting my alarm at 6 am to take my temp but I haven't been bothered with it this month so far. I hope your keeping well hun. xx

Well as you all know I am not TTC till around February, but I just wanted to say I am doing great and loosing weight. I am back out there and walking 3 miles a day, not running my 5 miles a day like I used to, but I am getting there. Honestly I am so proud of myself I have lost almost 10 pds so far and it's only 2 weeks

Well done Andrea thats great. My 14lb in months seems insignificant compared to your loss. Very proud of you.

Bleeding again

Big hugs Amanda but as everyone said they told you to expect it. That heamatoma has to bleed out or become absorbed so even though it feels completely wrong to be bleeding it is normal when a bleed like that is spotted. Think of it this way. The more it bleeds out the smaller its getting and the closers its getting to being gone for good. I wish I could've took my own advice when I was pregnant with Jakob though as I was a nervous wreck.

Kelly- how are you? Are you trying this month?

Hayley- Hows u & bubs? U seem a bit quiet lately.

Kiki FX'd for a BFP.

Hello to everyone else.

 

[blav]

Everything went well. He told me I could try right now and why do I want to loose weight first? I said I would just feel better doing it this way. He always gives me a vaginal sonogram at every visit he said everything looks great and whenever I want to try then try. He then said he thinks in his opinion that Ava did have Trisomy 18 he can't prove it but he highly suspects it He said Andrea it was a fluke it wont happen again and go for it. I asked about doing the CVS and he said he wouldn't want me to do that cause the miscarriage rate is high. So now I don't know what I would do, i don't want to wait for Amnio cause then it would be to far into pregnancy, what do they do earlier do the do scans maybe to see something.? I don't want to get to the second trimester and find bad news. I am happy but confused now..

Ahh, so much to think about! I'm completely terrified about our next pregnancy and all the extra appointments not to mention the cerclage (eeek). But, like others have said, I can't NOT try again even though there are some things that might be scary and you can't either! I'm really glad you got good news...that is definitely something to about!

Bleeding again

Eeeek! Keep us posted although I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about since they said it would most likely happen again We're all keeping our fingers crossed for you!

As for meeee, things are overall going well....hoping for ovulation this weekend. Had a bit of a rough night at work last night as a couple of pregnant women came in who were about as far along as I should be. Then, one of them was very upset because they didn't have the money for the treatments her dog needed (I work at a 24 hour veterinary ER). She started saying I shouldn't stress myself out it's bad for the baby. I'm" 7 months along (how far I should be) and I'm due in February" (when I was due) and it took every part of me not to 1. Cry and 2. tell her to STFU Not to mention this was after I got a voicemail from a former coworker asking me about how the pregnancy was going etc, etc It was all just too much to handle in one night I told OH how I just want to be pregnant again (but I want to be pregnant with Mateo, not another baby). I didn't tell him the second part because I know it upsets him.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Everything went well. He told me I could try right now and why do I want to loose weight first? I said I would just feel better doing it this way. He always gives me a vaginal sonogram at every visit he said everything looks great and whenever I want to try then try. He then said he thinks in his opinion that Ava did have Trisomy 18 he can't prove it but he highly suspects it He said Andrea it was a fluke it wont happen again and go for it. I asked about doing the CVS and he said he wouldn't want me to do that cause the miscarriage rate is high. So now I don't know what I would do, i don't want to wait for Amnio cause then it would be to far into pregnancy, what do they do earlier do the do scans maybe to see something.? I don't want to get to the second trimester and find bad news. I am happy but confused now..

Hi Andrea, glad it went well and he gave you the green light honey. I can understand your worries about next time, though you know the odds of having the same problem are ridiculously small. I know statistics are cold comfor though for us.

Do they do the Nuchal Translucency Test along with bloods there? (think it might be called the triple screen, but check that) I'm sure they would. It's a combination of a measurement of the nuchal fold at the back of the baby's neck done by scan at 12 weeks and bloods done by 12 or 13 weeks, I think. Together they give a risk factor analysis for chromosomal abnormalities. It is not a diagnostic tool, so doesn't give solid answers, but what it does give is a strong indication of risk, so further diagnostic testing can either be reccommended (such as amnio or CVS), or if the risk is low (as most times it is), then the need for amnio or CVS is ruled out. The best thing is it's completely non-invasive to the baby, just a scan and blood test for you. It may be worth an ask, or a google about it. I'm sure it will be done in the states if it's done here. There are also many clues picked up on U/S, such as femur length and a bone in the nose but I'm not sure if these are able to be picked up on the 12 week scan or only the 20. Sorry I'm no help there, does anyone else know?

I think, hard as it is, Andrea you may have to just find the faith that it will all be OK. I have no guarantees that my waters won't break again, I just have to trust that that happened because it was twins - there are a few things the doctors can do to watch out for changes but ultimately it is a gamble. It's so hard I know but anything could happen to anyone at any time and I can't allow my life to be crippled by all those what-if's to the extent that I don't live, same goes for trying again for me. I know I'll be singing a different tune if I do get pregnant! I know it will be terrifying and I know I haven't really given myself enough time to heal but I feel that I will just have to deal with it as I go along because I don't have time to spare. The age gap with my only DD worries me more than my physical age, to be honest, I never wanted her to be on her own this long. (Though my Mum just admitted to me that she hit menopause early at about 45 - 48 ish so that scared the cr*p outa me! She started her periods early too and so did I, eek!) Obviously you have to do what's right for you. What I'm prepared to do may be completely different to what you are and so on, I'm not saying I'm doing blah so you have to as well! You will know where your own boundaries are, the point I'm making is that if we allowed ourselves to think about every single thing that could go wrong in life we'd never leave the house, or let our children out! We can't live like that. We've had a taste of the nastiness that can happen in pregnancy though so we focus on that, it's natural. I hope you can get past the fear and allow yourself some hope hon. Right, now to fully convince myself the same, hehe!

I hope you do find the strength to try again honey and I hope you get your rainbow soon. I wish you all the love and luck in the world. xxx

Thanks .. I did do the Nuchal Translucency plus bloods with Ava and my risk for DS was 1 in 132 and Trsiomy 18 was 1 in 89 , they didn't suggest CVS and I have not been pregnant in 10 years so I didn't even know CVS existed, so they said cause of my numbers I had to do Amnio, right before the Amnio test is when I found out she died. I thought my Doctor would agree with doing the CVS since if there is a problem I will know early on, but when I mentioned it he said the risk for miscarraige is to high and didn't tell me what other options I have. I am not going to get past 15 weeks and then something is wrong, so i don't know what I will do. XOXOOX

Tanya, sorry you're feeling yuk but I'm hpoing it's a good sign for you, what DPO you at? 4 months is hard, take it easy on yourself hun. Love to you and Jakob xx

Hey Nikki- I'm only on CD9 right now. I think I am going to take a more relaxed approach this time. This past couple of cycles I have been setting my alarm at 6 am to take my temp but I haven't been bothered with it this month so far. I hope your keeping well hun. xx

Well as you all know I am not TTC till around February, but I just wanted to say I am doing great and loosing weight. I am back out there and walking 3 miles a day, not running my 5 miles a day like I used to, but I am getting there. Honestly I am so proud of myself I have lost almost 10 pds so far and it's only 2 weeks

Well done Andrea thats great. My 14lb in months seems insignificant compared to your loss. Very proud of you.

Bleeding again

Big hugs Amanda but as everyone said they told you to expect it. That heamatoma has to bleed out or become absorbed so even though it feels completely wrong to be bleeding it is normal when a bleed like that is spotted. Think of it this way. The more it bleeds out the smaller its getting and the closers its getting to being gone for good. I wish I could've took my own advice when I was pregnant with Jakob though as I was a nervous wreck.

Kelly- how are you? Are you trying this month?

Hayley- Hows u & bubs? U seem a bit quiet lately.

Kiki FX'd for a BFP.

Hello to everyone else.

Everything went well. He told me I could try right now and why do I want to loose weight first? I said I would just feel better doing it this way. He always gives me a vaginal sonogram at every visit he said everything looks great and whenever I want to try then try. He then said he thinks in his opinion that Ava did have Trisomy 18 he can't prove it but he highly suspects it He said Andrea it was a fluke it wont happen again and go for it. I asked about doing the CVS and he said he wouldn't want me to do that cause the miscarriage rate is high. So now I don't know what I would do, i don't want to wait for Amnio cause then it would be to far into pregnancy, what do they do earlier do the do scans maybe to see something.? I don't want to get to the second trimester and find bad news. I am happy but confused now..

Ahh, so much to think about! I'm completely terrified about our next pregnancy and all the extra appointments not to mention the cerclage (eeek). But, like others have said, I can't NOT try again even though there are some things that might be scary and you can't either! I'm really glad you got good news...that is definitely something to about!

I am scared also, but I am going to go for it and pray things are ok, what else can we really do ? Except for not trying which is not an option for me

Bleeding again

Eeeek! Keep us posted although I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about since they said it would most likely happen again We're all keeping our fingers crossed for you!

As for meeee, things are overall going well....hoping for ovulation this weekend. Had a bit of a rough night at work last night as a couple of pregnant women came in who were about as far along as I should be. Then, one of them was very upset because they didn't have the money for the treatments her dog needed (I work at a 24 hour veterinary ER). She started saying I shouldn't stress myself out it's bad for the baby. I'm" 7 months along (how far I should be) and I'm due in February" (when I was due) and it took every part of me not to 1. Cry and 2. tell her to STFU Not to mention this was after I got a voicemail from a former coworker asking me about how the pregnancy was going etc, etc It was all just too much to handle in one night I told OH how I just want to be pregnant again (but I want to be pregnant with Mateo, not another baby). I didn't tell him the second part because I know it upsets him.

 

[Bride2b]

Andrea - I'm glad your appointment went well. I'm glad you did it and now that the hard bit over with & its great that you have had the all clear to try again when your ready!

Amanda - try not to worry too much about the bleed as the others have said they did tell you that this would happen. I know its hard not to wonder if its harming your rainbow, but I am sure its all snuggled in there nicely!

Blav - sorry that someone asked, I had the exact thing the other day when I went to an xmas thing with OH. Its so crap having to constantly be reminded that its all over! I know only my manager & a close colleague knew I was pregnant at work...but it makes me think next time that I am not telling anyone until I get to the 20 week scan (so past the date when Bertie was born) and I dont think I will tell people at work until 24 weeks!

I'm hoping everyone else on the TWW is keeping well and that the fingers nails havent taken a bashing!

For me well I had a bit of a cry earlier as felt overwhelmed. I sold my old iphone on ebay, and the bloke emailed to say he wants a refund...this was 2 days ago but I hadnt checked ebay, then he sent another shitty email. I felt like saying to him he was lucky if all he has to worry about is a 'crack' or as I would call it 'scratch' on the outer casing of a phone, as some of us have far more problems than that! Its really silly but it really upset me!
I called the family liason again, and she is off today, but the other woman is going to get her to call me back tomorrow. I'm sorry but its been over 2 weeks and I just want to be able to have some closure by having the funeral. I also called and left a message with the counsellor as I want to make sure I can get help with my grief as I am scared it will never go away or it will rear its ugly head in a few months.

Lastly I started back on the folic acid today, took Royal Jelly and a maca root. I'm now drinking raspberry leaf tea. The bleeding is practically gone, just a small bit now...so hopefully in a day or two that will all be gone! I just want to start getting my body back to normal so I can start TTC again. This is the only thing that is keeping me going!

x

 

[jojo23]

hey girls how are you all doing??? hope everyone is well. sorry havent been on much lately ive been so busy in work and i got a new lil puppy so shes takin up most of my free time lol... anyways just popped in to say hope everyone is good and also i have my 12 week scan in the morning so if you have a spare minute keep me and lil bubz in ur thoughts and prayers id be so so greatful xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[mhazzab]

hey girls how are you all doing??? hope everyone is well. sorry havent been on much lately ive been so busy in work and i got a new lil puppy so shes takin up most of my free time lol... anyways just popped in to say hope everyone is good and also i have my 12 week scan in the morning so if you have a spare minute keep me and lil bubz in ur thoughts and prayers id be so so greatful xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

oohh wow tomorrow, that's exciting (and scary!) I'll be thinking of you and little rainbow.

I've got mine on Monday, I'm so scared!

xx

 

[blav]

Andrea - I'm glad your appointment went well. I'm glad you did it and now that the hard bit over with & its great that you have had the all clear to try again when your ready!

Amanda - try not to worry too much about the bleed as the others have said they did tell you that this would happen. I know its hard not to wonder if its harming your rainbow, but I am sure its all snuggled in there nicely!

Blav - sorry that someone asked, I had the exact thing the other day when I went to an xmas thing with OH. Its so crap having to constantly be reminded that its all over! I know only my manager & a close colleague knew I was pregnant at work...but it makes me think next time that I am not telling anyone until I get to the 20 week scan (so past the date when Bertie was born) and I dont think I will tell people at work until 24 weeks!

I'm hoping everyone else on the TWW is keeping well and that the fingers nails havent taken a bashing!

For me well I had a bit of a cry earlier as felt overwhelmed. I sold my old iphone on ebay, and the bloke emailed to say he wants a refund...this was 2 days ago but I hadnt checked ebay, then he sent another shitty email. I felt like saying to him he was lucky if all he has to worry about is a 'crack' or as I would call it 'scratch' on the outer casing of a phone, as some of us have far more problems than that! Its really silly but it really upset me!
I called the family liason again, and she is off today, but the other woman is going to get her to call me back tomorrow. I'm sorry but its been over 2 weeks and I just want to be able to have some closure by having the funeral. I also called and left a message with the counsellor as I want to make sure I can get help with my grief as I am scared it will never go away or it will rear its ugly head in a few months.

Lastly I started back on the folic acid today, took Royal Jelly and a maca root. I'm now drinking raspberry leaf tea. The bleeding is practically gone, just a small bit now...so hopefully in a day or two that will all be gone! I just want to start getting my body back to normal so I can start TTC again. This is the only thing that is keeping me going!

x

We've decided were not telling anyone until 24 weeks next time (I will have to tell my boss because I'll need several days off for the cerclage around 12 weeks) but other than that we're keeping it under wraps. It will be easy for us though because all of my family lives away and most of OH's family lives away so we won't really have to hide it, will just have to be careful not to say anything.

I hope you hear back and are able to get some closure with the funeral. In a way the grief does come and go for me as well so I think what you're going through is normal. Like, last night...most of the time I do so well and then the series of events at work just took me way back. Just have to keep our head up!

As for the bleeding, we sound very similar. Mine had mostly gone away by 2 weeks after birth but I did have a little spotting. Then, at 5 weeks exactly, full on NORMAL AF happydance:) I really hope I do ovulate this weekend because even if we don't get a BFP, at least I'll know my AF is normal and I'm ovulating. I really hope you have the same experience and that AF returns soon!

 

[blav]

And also, if I can just vent for a second.

So you ladies might remember a couple weeks ago me mentioning how I was upset that we hadn't gotten Mateo's pictures from the hospital and how I called and they said they were never printed and should be here in 7-10 days. Well, still NOTHING. So, I called again and they still don't have them but they were mailed on November 30. That was 2 weeks ago, how can they not be here yet? AND she said oh well the might have gotten lost in the mail so I ordered another copy and will let you know when they're here. I'm mean she's so appologetic and I know it's not her fault but why is it like being stabbed over and over every time I hear that there is something else wrong with these pictures???? These pictures are the last thing we're waiting for. We have his ashes, we got his social security card, we got his birth certificate, and now we're waiting on these pictures that we should have had over a month ago.

FRUSTRATED!

 

[KamIAm]

And also, if I can just vent for a second.

So you ladies might remember a couple weeks ago me mentioning how I was upset that we hadn't gotten Mateo's pictures from the hospital and how I called and they said they were never printed and should be here in 7-10 days. Well, still NOTHING. So, I called again and they still don't have them but they were mailed on November 30. That was 2 weeks ago, how can they not be here yet? AND she said oh well the might have gotten lost in the mail so I ordered another copy and will let you know when they're here. I'm mean she's so appologetic and I know it's not her fault but why is it like being stabbed over and over every time I hear that there is something else wrong with these pictures???? These pictures are the last thing we're waiting for. We have his ashes, we got his social security card, we got his birth certificate, and now we're waiting on these pictures that we should have had over a month ago.

FRUSTRATED!

Big Hugs to you Hon'

I know all about frustration..so I'm with ya on that ...

She should have shown a lot more sympathy than she did, which sounds like NONE! I hate that you are still wanting... Terrible!

 

[KamIAm]

hey girls how are you all doing??? hope everyone is well. sorry havent been on much lately ive been so busy in work and i got a new lil puppy so shes takin up most of my free time lol... anyways just popped in to say hope everyone is good and also i have my 12 week scan in the morning so if you have a spare minute keep me and lil bubz in ur thoughts and prayers id be so so greatful xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Your 12 week scan is TOMORROW? Holy Crap time is flying! I can't wait to hear all about it and hopefully you get a nice pretty picture! *Smile nicely for your mommy lil one!

I'll be thinking of you Sweets....


Mhairi! Just looked at your lil ticker, crap! Your 11 weeks! Wheww! I'm sure time isn't passing quickly for you girls but man, it sure is for me

Can't wait to hear about and possibly see all those beautiful rainbows!!

Anyone heard from Hayley or Erica lately??? Just been thinking about them ....

 

[jojo23]

thanks girls ill def come on first thing and let you know how it went xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[kiki04]

With pics too please!! Pretty pretty please!