Life after Loss Support Group........All Welcome :)

[yazoo]

Hi all, just getting a chance to log in now. I hope you all had a peaceful Xmas and it wasn't too hard. There was alot of tears here. It was very hard but we got through it. Sally I am so sorry that u r going through this. I hope and pray that everything is ok and your little bean is just giving u a scare. Your in my thoughts. Xxx I will catch up properly with the rest of u soon. I am on my iPod at the min so I can't look back over the posts. I hope your all doing ok. Xxx

 

[winterwonder]

Oh Sally, i am so so sorry hun, i am sending you the biggest hugs , i hope its just a terrible scare. xxxxx

 

[ericacaca]

Hello there ladies. Gosh I am so sorry I have been so so so rude over the past few weeks and not said hello to all the lovely ladies that have joined this thread. Hello everyone. I wish all the best for you all and look forward to chatting to you in the future. I'm so sorry I've not chatted as much as I've wanted to - so much has happened, and when nothing happens I'm asleep!

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. Ours was easier than I thought it would be. I have a 3 month old nephew... and I only found out that he was born when he was a week old.... pretty long and hard story that I never mentioned cus that happened a couple of weeks before I started chatting on here again.... and so I spent Christmas day with Mum, Dad, Brother, his girlfriend and their baby. Hubby was on a night shift that evening so he had lunch with us and then went to work.

My back is causing me so much trouble at the moment! Its more my leg though - its sciatica caused by a disc being inflamed. It was getting better but I had to stop seeing osteopath for a few weeks when I got my BFP. Then at the end of term a couple of weeks ago I over did it ALOT at work and it just got worse again.... I'm going back now for help but the pain is horrendous! Its not my pelvis, I've looked into that one, and I really hope it gets better soon - I really don't think I can teach in this much pain!

Hope you're all ok ladies

Erica xxx

 

[OliveBay]

Thanks everyone. The bleeding seems to be tapering off now, but its been nearly two days now so there must be no chance I'm still pregnant. Will let you know what the midwife says next week, I'll probably call her on Tuesday. There doesn't seem any point doing anything over the weekend as I'm not in pain and there's nothing anyone can do.

Sorry to be sharing this sadness with you all, but it does help to have people to support me through this. I've decided not to tell my family or friends about this early loss as I don't want to worry them, so OH and I are just trying to pull through this together, and I have to say he is being so great, bless him. I just feel bad that once again he's having to support me through such a sad, horrible experience.

Anyway, I think its about time we had some good news and happy posts on here. Hope all the rainbow carriers are keeping well and that the TTC'ers are having fun

Love and big hugs to all

 

[Andypanda6570]

Just stopped in to say I am thinking of you all..Happy New Year!!
Love you all...XOXOXOOXOOX

 

[Hellylou]

Sally, I just can't imagine. And of course you can share with us here whenever you have anything to tell us - happy or sad. It's what we are all here for.

Me, I have spent all morning crying. We have been invited over by some close friends for New Year with the kids - it was meant to be just the 4 of us plus kids. Today we find out 2 other couples are coming with their kids. I don't know these people, and really wasn't up for spending New Year's Eve in the company of strangers. If I had known earlier I would have backed out, but it's too late to do that now, it would look rude. So I am committed to spending an evening seeing out the worst year of my life with people I don't know, who know nothing about what we have been through, and I am just so upset. It's not like it's enough people to make a party, so I can't exactly avoid them. 8 adults is an intimate number, except we don't know half of them! Ugh...can't wait for this year to end!!

 

[ericacaca]

Thanks everyone. The bleeding seems to be tapering off now, but its been nearly two days now so there must be no chance I'm still pregnant. Will let you know what the midwife says next week, I'll probably call her on Tuesday. There doesn't seem any point doing anything over the weekend as I'm not in pain and there's nothing anyone can do.

Sorry to be sharing this sadness with you all, but it does help to have people to support me through this. I've decided not to tell my family or friends about this early loss as I don't want to worry them, so OH and I are just trying to pull through this together, and I have to say he is being so great, bless him. I just feel bad that once again he's having to support me through such a sad, horrible experience.

Anyway, I think its about time we had some good news and happy posts on here. Hope all the rainbow carriers are keeping well and that the TTC'ers are having fun

Love and big hugs to all

And I'm going to just adapt this and say I'm really sorry that I think I read things wrong.....really sorry that you have to go through this but don't give up hope Sally. Ladies do bleed during pregnancies, it might be ok. Will be thinking about you. Lots.

Erica xxx

 

[blav]

Oh Sally, honey...you've been in my thoughts so much. I'm so sorry for everything that is happening and hope that you get good news at your appointment. I know you feel it's probably far fetched to even hope at this point, but we will do the hoping for you.

Hellylou-that sounds awful. I don't enjoy being around strangers at all really so I completely understand how you feel about this "party" Just think of it as the closing to a miserable chapter.

AFM, another bfn this morning at 13DPO (I think). AF should have started today but nothing. Maybe I really didn't ovulate this month and the OPK was right. Or maybe I'm just a nutter and think about it so much my body has given up on me! In any case, I'll be at work tonight for New Years (sad to spend mine and OH's first New Year as a couple apart).

I really hope this coming year is better for all of us.

 

[ericacaca]

Oh dear, sorry this might not be your month Sometimes our bodies can just go all over the place and cycles can be really irregular. Mine ranged from anything between 32 days to 40 days! Which kinda screwed my head around a bit. Hope things start making more sense for you soon.

And I know how you feel about NYE away from your OH. My hubby is working on the ambulances until 11 tonight and it takes over an hour to get home for him! Just hoping that he doesn't have to do any overtime. I think the 999 call madness might happen after the new year....... so he might be safe and not have to do a later job than we want!

xxx

 

[Bride2b]

Helen - thats crap!! I would so hate that. Sometimes you end up having a good night when you really dont want to go.

Britney...thats crap hun, or you may have OV'd late, if not the new year is just around the corner and its going to be our year!

Erica - thats crap too!

AFM, having a quite one really, as much as I want to celebrate getting rid of this shitty year I feel sad today as I should be 24 weeks! Cant help feeling if things hadnt happened when they did and my body held out for a few more weeks the doctors might have done something to delay labour....what if what if what if! Cant change whats happened, but I need to look forward to making my rainbow and doing my Bertie proud and show him what a good mummy I would have been to him.

Happy 2012 everyone, thank you soooooo much for all your support, I really couldnt have got through these last few weeks without you all.xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ericacaca]

Helen - thats crap!! I would so hate that. Sometimes you end up having a good night when you really dont want to go.

Britney...thats crap hun, or you may have OV'd late, if not the new year is just around the corner and its going to be our year!

Erica - thats crap too!

AFM, having a quite one really, as much as I want to celebrate getting rid of this shitty year I feel sad today as I should be 24 weeks! Cant help feeling if things hadnt happened when they did and my body held out for a few more weeks the doctors might have done something to delay labour....what if what if what if! Cant change whats happened, but I need to look forward to making my rainbow and doing my Bertie proud and show him what a good mummy I would have been to him.

Happy 2012 everyone, thank you soooooo much for all your support, I really couldnt have got through these last few weeks without you all.xxxxxxxxxxx

Same here, can't wait to get out of this year. Baby girl would be at least 4 months old now - but I'm blessed to be having a rainbow baby - or blessed with another chance so soon. Not so blessed though that with my ever changing body after mc my disc started playing up and has now come back with a vengence! So I'm spending NYE feeling sorry for myself sitting in wierd positions to stop back and leg hurting (its sciatica) and counting the hours down to my next paracetamol! Hoping hubby comes back with gas and air from his ambulance! haha! xxx

 

[mhazzab]

Welcome back Erica! Sorry you are in pain but I'm very happy to see you are 16 weeks, wow!

Helen sorry your plans for tonight are making you uncomfortable, I would be too. I hope it's not too bad.

Sally, I'm so sorry for what's happening to you. I will continue to have hope for you until we hear otherwise, i know it would be painful for you to hope for the best so we will do it for you.

Britney I hope you either get a BFP soon or at least AF comes so you can get back on it again, so to speak!

Gemma, your Bertie is so proud of you anyway, I'm sure of that. Wishing for a rainbow for you very soon.

Writing this from my phone so sorry to those I missed as I can't look at the last pages.

I also know we have some angel due dates this week, thinking of you all. I hope it's not too hard on you.

Oh, I also wanted to say, for those newer folk who have joined us, if you wanna be friends on Facebook send me a PM and I will let you know my true identity, lol! I won't mention anything about this secret wonderful place here if you don't!!

Happy new year everyone, 2012 will be our year, I just know it xxx

 

[mhazzab]

Oh I also meant to say...thank you so much to all of you for getting me through the last six months. It's been horrific but you have helped make it a little less so. I'm not sure where I would have been without you.
Love you all, I'm so glad to have met you (although different circumstances would have been nicer!)
Xx

 

[feeble]

OH just cheered me right up, was lying on our bed, listening to him read J his bedtime story and thinking about how i should be stroking my heavy baby bump and telling my little girl how excited we are to meet her in just 18 days.

Instead i am worried that there will be a problem on my first scan, and that things are going to go wrong for me again...

Liam came and gave me a cuddle and kissed my neck and told me he would make me ham and chicken pie and cauliflower cheese for dinner which is my absolute favourite meal! Its really cheered me up bless him. We couldnt afford any treats for new years (a bit over indulgent at christmas i feel ) but he is making me my favourite foods and the baby is happy... I should be grateful, i just hope everything is okay on the scan though i know i am going to worry through this whole pregnancy...

just rambling now sorry xxx

 

[mhazzab]

Oh feeble that's so sweet, he sounds very thoughtful.

I remember being terrified going for the first scan, I was so scared they would find nothing there. But there was my little baby, looking almost like a baby. Such a relief.

I can't wait to hear from you after your scan to say all is ok. It's the 5th isn't it?

Xxx

 

[feeble]

it is the 5th yes, thank you for remembering, that has made me feel very welcome here and like someone cares thank you so much x

i will be 7+2 so we should get a clear view of a heartbeat and everything. i am quite hoping they do a intervaginal one because we will get a clearer picture and i lost all modesty in my last pregnancy lol!

I do hope there is a healthy, gorgeous baby bean in there. It will make me feel so much better because at least the nuchal cord issue is not something likely to happen twice (or even once really) so i can rest a bit easy (even though i wont, i will still just worry and worry)

 

[mhazzab]

Awww thanks at least I got something right today!

I had mine at 7+2. He did a belly scan first, saw an empty sac, which scared the hell out of me as I knew what was meant to be there. He then sent me for a pee, (during which time I started crying) and when I came back he did an internal scan which showed my little monkey. Apparently I hadn't had enough water but too much breakfast, lol. My hubby was totally oblivious to the problem. Oh to be so naive...

I will have everything crossed for you x

 

[feeble]

well mine is at 11.25 so i will try and have an early breakfast and then not eat until after the scan. I am a big girl so they do sometimes struggle to get a clear picture! I almost think they should just always do an internal but i would feel a bit weird suggesting that...

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hello ladies, I've missed you all so much! There's no way I have enough time to catch up with all the posts right now but I just wanted to drop in and say Happy New Year to you all when it comes, if it hasn't already (depends where you are, hehe). 2012 has to be better for all of us.

We had ours last night and just a quiet one at the house, we let DD stay up and we all went out and burned last year's calendar to symbolise saying good riddance to last year and starting fresh. A few tears were shed but there was a sense of relief that 2011 was over. I went through the calendar first to transfer all the imortant dates of birthdays etc onto the new one and had a hard time looking at July's page - midwives appointments and my scan date that I never made it to. It was hard to see the timeline of those terrible days mapped out before me and the happy innocent pages before with midwives appt's etc circled made me cry. It was quite hard to let it go but I'm glad I did.

Helen, I hope tonight goes OK for you, I would hate that too and would probably feign illness or something TBH!

Olive, I really hope it is just a scare for you honey, you'll be in my thoughts till you get seen and I'll be holding onto hope for you. xxx

P.S. I got a positive test on the day after boxing day but then AF started the next day - I read the test after the time though as we had to go out to the beach and I was still at MIL's so I don't know if it was an evap or a chemical but it really got our hopes up and then dashed again. It was a clear line and pink. It was a first response and I've never had an evap with one before so I dunno. Just a perfect end to a perfect year.

I hope to get back on here and chat to you all properly soon, hi to all the new ladies. xxx

 

[Hellylou]

Hi ladies - Happy New Year! This is going to be a better one for all of us. It just has to be!

Nikki - welcome back! Missed you hun I am so sorry about the test result - how utterly awful.

Sally, I am still hoping for a miracle, lovely. Thinking of you

Good luck on the scan, feeble, hope everything goes ok. Will be thinking of you on the 5th, let us know how it goes.

Well, I went to the party and managed 2 hours before finding myself in floods of tears in a side room and having to drag the whole family home again (an hours drive, and we were meant to be staying over, so my autistic son was screaming, I was crying, it was awful). The other couples were loud, raucous, not my sort of people at all. I felt instantly excluded. I was fine until they arrived, but quickly started to descend into quietness, and then got upset. I just knew I couldn't stay there any longer. I felt terrible, and my friend felt awful too, because she didn't realise how important it was for me to have a quiet NY. I thought she would have understood that, or at least realised that inviting their friends without telling us wasn't the right thing to do, but I guess other people just don't get how this affects us. To be honest, though, I would have hated it even if I wasn't grieving. It just wasn't the evening I would have chosen. We have other mutual friends and any of them would have been fine. So feeling pretty crappy, but my lovely family have cheered me up no end. They are so supportive. I don't know what I would do without them.